tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87151415851837715022024-03-13T14:26:29.800-05:00The Source..The blabbering of an Entertainment nutTayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.comBlogger559125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-50703440201935252212022-10-12T10:37:00.000-05:002022-10-12T10:37:02.881-05:00+1<p>This might be the first year I have not written a birthday post on time. I am like a month and some late.</p><p>But yeah, I had the blessing of celebrating another year in life and this time it was the big 4-0.</p><p>I wasn't sure what I wanted to do but I eventually ended up with the idea of Cuba with my nearest and dearest.</p><p>It was a total of 17 people, mostly family but it was the greatest thing.</p><p>Cuba is not for the faint of heart when it comes to planning. I did A LOT of research and was stressing a lot. In fact, I cried a lot on Day 1 but then thank God that was the worst day and everything went up from there.</p><p>We had a great time. I felt a lot of love and I am so glad it happened.</p><p>Turning 40 is weird. Weird because I can't believe it's here. It's something I have talked about with so many different friends and now we are at the place where we check the boxes of age group 35-40. Bizarre.</p><p>I am thankful for the life I have now. I am thankful for the person I am now and the growth I can see in my life. </p><p>I look forward to more growth, I look forward to my blessings and I look forward to more answered prayers.</p><p>I hope to always walk on the path God has for me. I pray for wisdom to see it and to follow His voice. I pray for blessings for me and my loved ones and may God give us good health and long life.</p><p>And thank you to you guys who still read (wonders if anyone still does?)</p><p>Happy belated birthday to me.</p><p><br /></p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-56217138953116032572022-06-23T17:31:00.001-05:002022-06-23T17:31:18.872-05:00The Evolution of Friendships (as you get older)<p> A dear reader has been pestering me for a new post for A WHILE now and I promised her I will. Life has been lifing and time kept passing by. I'd been wondering on what to write about and decided to talk about how friendships evolve as you get older and go through stages in life.</p><p>I have always said that my friendships have been a blessing in my life. I moved to this country young and didn't have much family around so my friends became my family. This probably what feeds into how intense I am about my friendships. That intensity came with very high expectations and I wanted so much reciprocated (I know better now)</p><p>Friend is also a strong word. Sometimes you are cool with people but they are not in your inner circle or they consider you more of a friend than you do them and vice versa. </p><p>When I lost my mom, there were certain "friendships" I lost. Some may consider me being a diva but I wasn't comfortable being "friends" with people who aren't bothered to check on you when you lose a parent - but I stand by it.</p><p>I had a conversation with a friend about how everyone talks about women get married and act weird and don't want to hang out with their single friends and I mentioned how noone talks about the flip of the coin where single friends consciously or subconsciously act differently towards their married friends, almost like a let me act first before they do.</p><p>I don't have kids yet but I assume that's another phase I assume would affect friendship. Just as I mentioned how marrieds/singles may act to each other, I might be accused of acting differently by my mom friends. Who knows, life can be complicated.</p><p>I have had the priviledge of having the same inner circle of friends since college. We don't talk as often or see as often as we used to but we definitely keep in touch and are in the know about each other's lives. I mentioned earlier how intense I think I can be when it comes to friendships and I think over the years I have learned to relax more because I used to set myself up for disappointment when I used to expect everyone to approach things the way I do.</p><p>As I've watched some friendships dwindle away - not necessarily because of a blow up or anything, it legit just dwindled away - I've had to take a step back and reevaluate the part that I played because of course I am sure I played a part and think of how I approach things especially as I get older.</p><p>I believe in learning from past failures and being wiser as you get older. Super grateful for all the friends in my life and here's to the many more I am yet to meet (because I don't believe in Drake's "no new friends" motto)</p><p>Hope you guys are doing well in this burning bush of a world that we live in and are holding up well. I'd love to hear your take on friendships so please bum rush my comment section!</p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-8529488449080908382021-11-24T23:02:00.002-06:002021-11-24T23:02:23.892-06:00Happy Thanksgiving<p> It's been quiet on this Blogsville streets but I hope everyone is holding up well and keeping head above water because as we all know, adulting is hard.</p><p>It's Thanksgiving over in the States, I hope you all have a good one and are able to spend it with your loved ones. </p><p>Happy Thanksgiving!</p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-80306708002527810612021-08-23T15:55:00.001-05:002021-08-23T15:55:57.849-05:00Why won't you let us live, COVID?<p> I am always complaining about people leaving blogville and now I have become one of the people who don't post regularly. This is not intentional. I have COVID burnout and I am not ashamed to admit it. I feel a bit weird to say it because I didn't have to spend lockdown by myself and I also didn't have to spend it with kids while trying to manage a full time job, so do I have a right to complain?</p><p>I think I do though. (It's my party, I can cry if I want to...and all that jazz)</p><p>COVID has affected people in different ways and believe it or not for some, they haven't really been affected. In fact, they have thrived. Again, I don't know where I fall in this category. On paper, most would say I was thriving. I started the lockdown unemployed and with no direction. Fast forward and I am at a job I like with a great boss and I started two podcasts with one doing better than we ever expected. It didn't occur to me until much later in a random moment that I was doing what I always said I wanted to do - to get paid to gab about anything pop culture related. Life is funny eh?</p><p>On the flip side, my anxiety was through the roof not knowing what this virus was about, witnessing so much death and illness, I lost my uncle during this time, despite my best attempts I did not avoid the COVID weight gain, I have not seen most of my family in almost two years, I had a nephew that I will never have newborn pics with and I have yet to meet. </p><p>A year later, with the fakeout that was the light at the end of the tunnel all I felt/feel is exhaustion. I am tired, people. Mentally, physically, emotionally et al. We still don't know what this virus is about, there is so much going on. I had a mini vacation but I don't even know if vacations refresh anyone anymore because it was almost like it didn't happen.</p><p>I truly recognize my blessings and I am grateful but I also recognize my exhaustion. I wish I could take like a 6 month sabbatical and just coast through everything. It's just all too much. I have never done well with the unknown and COVID is seeming to be a big giant ball of the unknown. I know I have to adjust and get with the program and I will. Humans are resilient.</p><p>You can thank the resurgence of COVID for this post. I AM TIRED OF COVID AND ALL THAT IT COMES WITH! I am not as scared as the first time around because I just don't have the same energy to give but more than anything I wish everything would "normalize" so we can just worry about the million other things life already gives us to worry about. COVID just elevates all of those worries with another layer.</p><p>How is everyone doing, really and truly? Hope everyone is hanging in there and for those who are doing well, do you have any tips?</p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-61908682457287312202021-04-27T18:36:00.002-05:002021-04-27T18:36:57.152-05:00Wise Words I Came Across<p>I am tired. I think 2021 has been a better year than 2020 but so far, it's been a better year buuuut I'm tired. I am probably burnt out. I just want to sleep all the time except there is not enough hours in the day to do that. </p><p>I came across this Nigella Lawson interview and she isn't someone that I know a lot about but I really enjoyed her interview. She is 61 and chockful of life experiences. It's so crazy the layers everyone has as they experience life because - life is a bitch.</p><p>She talks about how she embraces lounging now. Rarely wearing makeup, dressing in comfortable wear and eating chocolate in bed. She does this and revels in it because she didn't want to repeat her mother's mistakes. Her mother was 48 when she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and that's when she finally started eating what she wanted without worry or guilt (she died two weeks after the diagnosis). </p><p>She goes on to say "Being thin is not and should not be the goal" because she can feel guilt about a lot of things but not eating. A lot of people in her family have died of cancer and you can't witness that and equate thinness with health.</p><p><b>This resonated because sometimes I feel most people have an eating disorder/unhealthy relationship with food and don't even know it. So much anguish, so much "food is the enemy" mindset and it's irritating and frustrating because in case anyone hasn't noticed, a lot of things don't matter - we die in the end. Not saying don't eat healthy or be aware or desire to be thin/lose weight - just don't let it consume you and the people around you.</b></p><p>Lawson says that "you get to a certain age and your designer for comfort is much greater than your vanity". After losing her mom, she lost her sister and first husband - both, to cancer. These losses made her deeply aware of the fragility of life.</p><p>When she was younger. she worked in publishing and was climbing up the ladder. But then she realized that she was on the wrong ladder, one more promotion and she would be a department head and she realized she had no interest in having power over people. After a while, she felt like she was being paid to worry not to think.</p><p><b>Oh the truth in that. I have had one job that has scarred me for life and that job made me realize that I am over the whole career dance and the effort it takes. I now want to coast, get paid and go home. In case you missed it above, I am tired and I don't have the mental fortitude - and this is me without kids to add to the busyness. Sometimes, it helps to define and know what you want and it may not be what every one else wants - and that's okay.</b></p><p>Last thing she talks about that resonated was about grief - "A loss doesn't magically go away. The wound is always there, but it's not as raw. And it's not linear. You go up and down and some years can be harder. You don't know why it is that you can be plunged into lowness or why some things don't upset you. Just know that you are not really in charge"</p><p><b>I really don't have anything to add because she said it perfectly.</b></p><p>I like finding words of wisdom even when it's things that sound so common sense because we always need a reminder. This made me like Nigella Lawson so much, I think I am going to buy one of her cookbooks. </p><p>I found this on <a href="http://www.themoderncedar.com/2021/04/friday-reflections.html" target="_blank">The Modern Cedar's blog</a> - "There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called Languishing. <b>"The absence of mental illness doesn't mean the presence of mental health</b>. Even if you're not depressed or burned out, you might be languishing—feeling a sense of emptiness and stagnation. Meh"</p><p>Before I leave you, Ms Sassy has a tiny letter thing going on that's pretty good. She writes a lot about tiny habits that can improve your life. Think of it as a gentle drag that could get you back on track in life. If you'd like to - and I encourage you to - you can subscribe <a href="https://sassysmusings.substack.com/welcome" target="_blank">here</a>. Just drop your email!</p><p>I hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there. Until next time!</p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-66022998206933984962021-03-14T11:16:00.004-05:002021-03-14T11:16:48.061-05:00Loss<p> Yesterday, my uncle died. We'd known it was coming but it doesn't make it any easier. Ever since his wife, my aunt died some years ago, he'd basically been on a decline.</p><p>My uncle was tough growing up. Tough as in very strict. He was a doctor and spent a huge chunk of his life in Germany. I'd say I was a tad scared of him. As we grew older, he definitely mellowed and was more approachable. My uncle used to be an atheist and that used to fill me with wonder because to my young eyes, all Nigerians went to church. I never understood how he was able to stay home when we went to church and not join when we had family prayer.</p><p>My aunt, a huge figure in the church had a sole mission to get him to have faith and my aunt the indomitable force, made it happen - well her prayers were answered and my uncle started having faith and started going to church. My aunt did everything for my uncle and they were partners business wise. I have fond memories of them speaking German when they didn't want any of us to hear what they were saying. Oh yea, he spoke 7 languages.</p><p>I and my family spent a huge chunk of time at my Uncle and Aunt's house. A huge part of my childhood memories have them in it. We were always at their house. My Uncle had his spot in the living room with his recliner and he always kept my brother's favorite beer ready for him. They were buddies and always had heart to heart chats. My Uncle's medical intuition is how we discovered my mom's cancer diagnosis after Nigeria Nigeria'd and gave wrong lab results.</p><p>I feel for my cousins, who have to go through this again and have to face the fact that they are now without parents on this earth. I spoke to my cousin yesterday and we just pondered over the fact that we are basically watching our family disappear one by one in real time and its so surreal. Them three - my aunt, my uncle and my mom - were such strong forces in our lives and it's so weird that they just don't exist anymore.</p><p>It got harder and harder to contact my Uncle so the last time I spoke to him I had asked another Uncle to call me when he was with him so I could talk to him. Our last conversation was me telling him I had gotten married. He was so happy and he sounded so upbeat. That is the memory of him I will carry.</p><p>I still have no idea what happens when we die but I have prayed for his soul since I have heard. May his soul forever rest in peace. </p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-13611495106827168282021-02-02T17:50:00.001-06:002021-02-02T17:50:55.139-06:00Accents<p>What's an accent? Who gets to define what an accent is?</p><p>Americans have a lot of hubris. Especially when it comes to being American. They think they are the best at everything. They think everyone operates on American terms. Which is why when they go to another country, they are so confused as to why the citizens of the country aren't doing things the way it is done back home in America.</p><p>There are many different accents in America -- Southern, Northern, Mid-western the list goes on. America being a melting point and having loads of immigrants means there's even more variants of hybrid accents.</p><p>It's so crazy how Americans go crazy for a British accent. Who declared a French english accent sexy but not a Senegalese one even though they are both rooted in French (spot of racism? hmm...)</p><p>Why am I saying all this?</p><p>As you know, I am co-host on two podcasts and in one of the podcasts, we get a number of reviews and recently there have been comments centered on my accent. A person mentioned how it bothered them the way I say the word "say", another person with a nice review did say they found the way I said it "endearing" and even though it was an overall nice review, for some reason it made me feel like it was a pat on the head. Another person referred to me as "the lady with the accent".</p><p>Now to some, I could be overreacting because I DO in fact have an accent in that, it is not an American accent and on one hand maybe it is the best descriptor among two people, who knows. I just don't understand the fixation on it.</p><p>I truly have no point guys, I was just musing and decided to put fingers to keyboard. Hope everyone is hanging tight in these crazy times. Keep your head up and let's hope the light is at the end of the tunnel with COVID!</p><p><br /></p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-80563744616623679732021-01-02T21:02:00.003-06:002021-01-02T21:02:58.132-06:00Happy New Year - 2021 Edition<p>Happy New Year, Good People@</p><p>I don't think I have anything that holds weight for this. 2020 was a year like no other. Personally and globally. The one thing I took from it was that God does have my back. You would understand how huge this is because not long ago, you may have heard me say that I wasn't sure God hears me when I speak to him and he probably sends me to voicemail. When I look back on this year, God is the only explanation as to how I made it through. I honestly had a decent year overall but a majority of it was riddled with anxiety. I don't think I want to spend too much time on 2020. Let me talk about 2021.</p><p>I've seen in a couple of places instead of a new year resolution or in addition to a new year resolution, having a word of the year and I think I settled on one - Progressive.</p><p>I want a progressive year. I want to progress as a person, as a sister, as a wife, as a friend (sorry as a sidebar, I was about to write daughter and I stopped because am I still a daughter? I am not a daughter to anyone anymore, so does that lose power as an adjective of who I am?) As a podcaster, as a blogger, as an employee. Anyways, I could go on but just in general, I want to move the line on my life.</p><p>It's very easy to stay stagnant. Very easy to complain and lay blame on whoever. And very easy to lose track of who you are as a person and get lost in the chaos of the world. I say this all the time but being a human, especially in this day and age is hella overwhelming. There is just so much to think about. So many things to consider and make a decision on. I've spoken in the past about being intentional so I hope to incorporate that in my quest to be progressive.</p><p>I want COVID to leave. No honestly, I need it to leave. It has been so disruptive and wreaked havoc that came with sadness and death. I hope we are able to contain it but looking at knuckleheads, that may be a long thing. I want a smooth transition with the Presidency but as I type this I am seeing this bloody senators threaten our democracy by standing against the electoral college voting and I am tired. I am tired of the bad guys winning and having us be the casualties for their selfish decisions.</p><p>I wish for my loved ones and everyone of you love, life, good health and happiness. Please remember to be kind to yourselves and each other. Be bold, be brave. Do things that make your heart sing and take joy in anything that makes you happy because life is indeed short. It's not a cliche anymore. It is. We are at that age. Love your parents. Let them know you love them.</p><p>Thank you guys for being on this ride with me, this is year 13 or 14? not sure, of me blogging and I appreciate every one that still reads and comments (even though, these are almost non existent). Thank you Thank you and hope you have a wonderful new year. Muah!</p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-8502648962624085842020-12-15T21:12:00.002-06:002020-12-15T21:12:55.363-06:00A Stolen Q&A<p> I got a notification from Neuyogi saying "just checking in, its been months!" Indeed it has. In 2020, months basically means decades. It's been a crazy year guys. A lot and I mean a lot has happened. I am exhausted in all ways. In my exhaustion, I am still grateful and thankful for the blessings and the way God has guided us all through. </p><p>Today I heard about a mother and daughter dying in a fire and I stopped for a second just thinking if she was feeling grateful for making it through 2020 and then 2 weeks to the end of the year - poof - they're gone. That's just one thing 2020 has reminded us of. You think you know but you have no idea.</p><p>My brain is dead at the moment so I don't have any topics at head but I figured I would steal this Q&A that I got from <a href="https://www.whatdamidid.com/">Dami's blog </a>. I know it would be much better if it had pics but please reference above. A girl is tired so just make do with text okay?</p><p><br /></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>My Can't Miss Podcast(s).</b>..I listen to a bunch of podcasts but a majority of them are reality show podcasts so I'd say - Bitch Sesh, The Challenge podcasts and when its on Rob Has A Website.</li><li><b>The Candle I Love To Light</b>...I actually only recently got into candles but I am basic and I like Dipthyque like the rest of the world except it is hella expensive so I have only enjoyed them as gifts. On the Bath and Body Works level, I love their Teakwood scent.</li><li><b>My Favorite Shoes</b>...I hate shoes. When people squeal at heels, I can't relate. I am old and heels hurt now. I wear flats but even then I don't like those. Now tennis shoes can take all my money. Let me clarify that I am not a sneaker head. I just mean regular ass sneakers. Anyways, long story my current faves are these teal Puma trainers that are comfortable as hell. I am not a color person but I am trying small to venture out.</li><li><b>The Book I Keep On My Bedside Table</b>...I stopped reading physical books a long time ago. I read strictly on my iPad, so I technically have no books on my bedside table. Closest to books are my People magazine and my journal?</li><li><b>My Favorite Hotel For a Weekend Getaway</b>...the Marriott Marquis on Broadway in New York. I love New York (not enough to live) but I love the energy. No matter where I lived I always make it out there. Hotels that aren't a shoe box are also hard to come by so once I discovered this hotel via work, I didn't look back. Its spacious and in a prime location.</li><li><b>The Albums I'll Never Tire Of</b>...All of The Weeknd albums, Songs About Jane by Maroon 5, 4 by Beyonce</li><li><b>My Best Holiday Ever Was</b>...a 3 country trip with my cousin to Bali, Hong Kong and Macau. I am used to being the one that plans holidays but this time my cousin was in charge and we vacation different. I let her take the lead and leaned in and it was great. Also, first time in Asia.</li><li><b>The Thing I Can't Stop Buying For My Home Is</b>...Bowls! Storage Bowls! Glass, Plastic. I just haven't found the right size. They're either too big or too small but I have decided to make do with the ones I have and make them work.</li><li><b>The Mantra I Live By</b>...Practice makes perfect so be careful what you practice.</li><li>My Signature Fragrance...Fun Fact. I have never bought a bottle of perfume for myself. Every bottle I have owned has been purchased for me. That being said, in pre-covid times I never used to spray perfume everyday, instead I used body mists and perfume for special events till I realized that was silly. Perfume bottles seem so large and I never want to smell the same way for that long so instead I have baggies of sample perfumes that come with purchases and my friends with hookup send to me. That way, I smell different all the time. </li></ul><div>Well, dassall folks? Did you learn anything new about me or did you find anything strange? I'd love to hear from yall. It's been a while. </div><div><br /></div><div>Be safe everyone! Wear your masks and by God's grace we will get through this dark and trying times.</div><p></p><p><br /></p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-44370224108057039492020-09-18T12:55:00.000-05:002020-09-18T12:55:12.666-05:00Friday Randoms<p> Yep. Your eyes aren't deceiving you. It's been a while since I had one of these but someone (you know yourself) bugged me to get one up ASAP and now I am here to keep my word. I don't even know whether I have had many random thoughts or if I have and they are just not thoughts I'll utter out loud. They are just safer in my brain.</p><p>I hope everyone has been relatively okay this year. It's very easy to say 2020 has been a wash so far, but for some, it has actually been a good year. It's kind of crazy how save for the not socializing (as much) and not traveling, life has not changed much for some people while for others, life has changed so drastically. Like I mentioned in my birthday post, it's only by the grace of God that I have made it through this year. I feel like it has been a wasted year for me but I won't get into that.</p><p>Enough rambling. Let's random.</p><p>I'm watching 90 day fiance. One of the ladies gets mad at her man. She starts packing up her stuff and immediately dials an ex telling her current guy that she is going to be with him. I guess I get the whole point of inflicting pain but the whole thing didn't make sense to me. How was her first thought that she is going to go sleep with her ex? Weird.</p><p>I think that society should be kinder and normalize it being okay for people - especially women - to say that they are lonely and want companionship without labeling them thirst buckets. It's a human need and doesn't automatically mean someone is desperate.</p><p>That being said, can we ever overcome societal norms? Especially the ones imposed on women?</p><p>In the same vein, how come it's so common among Igbo men that they are the ones who are usually requesting to be set up and to have a wife found for them? I rarely see it for other tribes.</p><p>I do not like writing in blue ink. I cannot physically buy a blue ink pen. Just black.</p><p>Fun Fact: My secondary school required us to use fountain pens. So I went through school writing with fountain pens. Which was a nightmare considering our uniforms were white. White + ink = yikes.</p><p>When I was younger, the grey area didn't exist for me. It was just black or white. Things like "it just happened" I'd scoff at that. Now they exist for a lot of things in life. Funny what growing up does.</p><p>It's a brave thing to live your truth or your best self Brave because it usually comes with pain or loss and most people aren't willing to go through that. I came across a great quote: "We can't have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change but nonetheless stay exactly the same"</p><p>Expectations. Everyone has them.</p><p>Why are female protagonists on TV so annoying? Between rewatching Sex and the City and Girlfriends, Joan and Carrie are driving me nuts!</p><p>For those who watched both - who you got for more annoying? Mine is Joan.</p><p>That's all I got for my comeback but before I go, I have been working on a number of different things on the side that I'd like to promote, so if you get a chance support a sister!</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>All things entertainment (TV/Movie/Music reviews and recommendations) visit <a href="http://www.taynement.com">www.taynement.com</a> follow on instagram @taynementdotcom</li><li>Book reviews and recommendations visit<a href="https://twonightstands.com/"> www.twonightstands.com</a>. Follow on instagram @nightstands2</li><li>Sex and the city podcast - Rewatching with my friend and discussing through the lens of being in our thirties 20 years later. Listen <a href="https://linktr.ee/therewatch" target="_blank">here</a> and follow on instagram @therewatchx2</li><li>Weekly recap of the tv show - Married at First Sight. Search "Altar Call" anywhere you listen to podcasts. It's available on spotify and apple podcasts too. Follow on instagram @altarcallmafs</li></ul><p></p><p>Thank you in advance!</p><p>Hope everyone has a lovely weekend. The temperatures are cooling off in my neck of the woods which makes me sad. I'll miss the warm weather. I didn't even get to see a pool this summer. Sigh. Covid go away!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/8CLkVWB_Lj8" width="320" youtube-src-id="8CLkVWB_Lj8"></iframe></div><br /><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-87418247937983405012020-09-11T13:29:00.002-05:002020-09-11T13:29:11.445-05:00+1<p>Yes, guys. We've been through so many +1's together, which just reminds me how long I have had this blog. A reader actually reminded me that I had to put up a +1 post ASAP.</p><p>But yea, another year another birthday for me and in spite of COVID and its other agents, it truly was a great birthday. I felt the love from everyone and I truly appreciated being able to have the love. My love isn't the biggest birthday person and I am. He's learned really quickly and also learning my love languages and he really came through for me for my birthday. It's ironic that I ended up with a photographer (seeing as I don't like taking pics) but he took some great photos of me some time ago and made them nice for my birthday. He truly is my favorite gift.</p><p>It was non stop call galore from friends and family and I had to just fling my phone aside just to even take a shower. We had reservations to have lunch outside with a waterfront view but the weather was awful. It stormed so bad that we got a flash flood warning but it didn't damper anything, we just had to eat indoors. It was my first time eating out since January but my anxiety wasn't heightened since we were the only ones in the restaurant and everyone had their masks on (we could see the kitchen). The night ended with loved ones and it was great.</p><p>I thought of my mom but I'd be lying if I didn't say the love from the day wasn't more than the twinge. If you think that I am saying this love thing a lot, it's intentional. I say it all the time that I do not take for granted the love I receive from them because I may see it as normal but it doesn't mean that is the same for everyone. My people always go all out for me. They don't have to. But they do. And I appreciate.</p><p>Anyways, I am one year older. At a stage in my life where things aren't all aligned as I would like them to but if there is one thing COVID has reinforced is that life is short. Do what you want to do. I'd always been so scared of starting a podcast and here I am, in the midst of all this, I started not one but two (sidebar: Check them out. If you watch Married At First Sight - Altar Call: A MAFS Podcast and rewatching Sex and the City - Sex and The City: The Rewatch. Everywhere you listen to podcasts)</p><p>There was a time in my life I thought God didn't hear me. I used to say that my prayers went to voicemail. In the last year, I have learned that God got me. I don't know how I made it through certain things, but I did and it is not by my strength. All Him. Just when I think there is no solution, I am reminded my way isn't his way so I guess you can say my faith got a face lift.</p><p>Time can be just a construct but as I get older, I hope to continue to grow. I hope to continue to be happy. To continue to have my mom's memory in my heart. Good health.</p><p>Okay this is reading like a new year resolution so I need to add that as I get older, I need to be wiser and go back to giving consistent Friday Randoms! I am working on that!.</p><p>Happy Birthday to me! Wishing myself many more healthy years ahead!!!</p><p><br /></p>TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-34797869999873790532020-07-12T15:07:00.001-05:002020-07-12T15:07:14.756-05:00Untangling Trauma Bonds<div><br /></div><div>I'd been having some thoughts in my head lately and in my brain, they connected so I thought I'd write about it but now that I am, I am hoping that it makes sense. I feel I have to remind you guys that I am a serious person. I can have a good time but I am self aware enough to know that I am a serious person who could do with some chill, sometimes. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know if I consider it a flaw or not, I guess it can be because it's probably what contributes to my anxiety and always overthinking stuff. But on the flip, it's a plus for me, in that it helps in my self introspection/evaluation with my life goal of living an intentional life. I have always been fascinated by the human psyche so I tend to never take things at surface level. I always want to know the why or the layers that led to something because as complex as life is, there is always a pattern that pieces everything together so to me it's like a psyche jigsaw puzzle.</div><div><br /></div><div>I quietly got married some time ago and as anyone in a long term relationship knows, nothing strips you of everything and holds a mirror to you, like it. I've been forced to face some things about myself and also forced to view life differently through his lens. This has led me in the last few months to read more on trauma bonds. I think I vaguely knew what it was but never really delved into it. Mgbeks introduced me to this account on Instagram - The Holistic Psychologist and her specialty is trauma bonds. Reading up, following up and working on myself helped me identify that I had abandonment issues and a codependent. I was falling into the pattern of trying to make my husband be my everything instead of flourishing as my own individual first but I won't bore you :D</div><div><br /></div><div>You have probably read the saying that the most important decision you would make in your life is who you choose to marry. For me, I have mentioned before on this blog how my heart can heal from a shitty husband and he can be temporary but a father is permanent and I want someone who would be a great to my kids. This is all part of my thought process as I think about bringing kids into this world (and also wondering why I want such seeing as the world is terrifying). I don't want to repeat the cycle of the relationship I have with my father. I have also mentioned on here how its inevitable that we will fuck up our kids but our job is to make sure we don't fuck it up to the point where its irreparable. </div><div><br /></div><div>Yesterday, I was watching Marriage Boot Camp and one participant who keeps cheating on his wife was told - "Your daughters will live the life you give your wife". It is so crazy to me how that saying of how your father/mother is your first love and how you end up dating your parents. Reading on trauma bonds helped me see how subconsciously we absorb our parents energy and the trauma (trauma sounds so heavy but it just simply means the unhealthy things we pick up from them) and manifest it in our lives (see why I find it fascinating?) This definitely was the case for me and I had a whole ass goal of not wanting to be like my mama in certain ways and still ended up in a situ like hers!! </div><div><br /></div><div>Just like with everything else in life, unlearning is hard but I'd really like to minimize the shit my children will have to deal with because life is hard enough as it is, so I hope I am able to sort through my shit. Yesterday on twitter a question was asked "What is the cost of being your true honest self? Not a version of, but your most true self" and I had to sit with that question because the truth of the matter is that we are not always at our true self. Even if it's simply playing the good black girl part at work so you are not stereotyped. The answers were fascinating and for most they lost pretty important people in their lives just so they could be authentic. I don't know why that question really stopped me in my tracks but as much as I want to think that I am authentic, it still made me pause and think (see, I told you I am too serious) about where I could fix up instead of just talking the talk.</div><div><br /></div><div>I think that's all the jumbled thoughts I had in my head, I apologize if it didn't make sense but if it did I'd love to hear your thoughts on it. Hope everyone has a great week!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-81229744717532499432020-06-21T20:05:00.001-05:002020-06-21T20:05:13.262-05:00Happy Father's Day!I came here to write this post and saw that my last post was a Mother's day posts. Oof! Oh well, thank God it's my blog.<br />
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Mothers/Fathers day is a tough one when you have lost either or both of your parents. I try to reach out to my friends who are having this experience on this day. Each year, I am noticing the list is increasing and honestly, I have said it before, aging makes me sad.<br />
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I reached out to a particular friend of mine and as were talking I realized that Father's day is yet another complicated feeling for me. My father is alive but I barely talk about him. A lot of people have commented that they thought my father was dead. It's mean to say he is but he is not a major factor in my life and that's how it's been for most of my life. I mean I didn't even have the luxury of emotionally unavailable but financially present.<br />
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It's odd to say you are an orphan when you have one parent alive but there is really no contribution on his end so does it count? When I look at odes and pics of people praising their dads, I realize that I will never know what it feels like to have a father's love. I feel a pang but I don't know what that pang is because you don't know what you are missing. Like I told my friend, it's not a death but it's a loss. I grieve for what I will never experience. That sounds more than I intend because it's something I have made my peace with and I don't dwell on it till I am reminded by an act or something I see.<br />
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Anyways, the best thing I can do is do my best to give my kids the best father possible so as not to repeat the cycle. To the fathers out there who are doing the damn thing and doing their best to raise their kids, more power to you and hope you have an amazing father's day.<br />
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Happy Father's Day everyone!!TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-53684957351872900882020-05-11T14:29:00.003-05:002020-05-11T16:30:00.549-05:00Happy Mother's DayYesterday was Mother's Day.<br />
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Mother's Day always comes with a myriad of emotions for me ever since I lost my mom. Somehow, some way it has been 5 years since I lost her and it still hits me like a ton of bricks. It's a lingering, never going anywhere hole but often times it hits harder at its own convenience and Mother's Day is one of them.<br />
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I saw a quote from Prince Harry that said it best "Missing a mother is like missing some sort of security.You need that as a son and it falls away when you lose your mother. But everything I do reminds me of her"<br />
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Like with some of the other big dates, I begin to feel the sinking feeling like a week before. On the day of when I reach for my phone (as an addict), I forget in the usual morning grogginess but social media suddenly reminds me its today. The slew of pics and homages hit and I try to take a deep breath because I have to have a conscious day.<br />
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Conscious day means no room for mindless consumption. Conscious decision might involve staying off SM as much as possible, filter things that might be triggers, find distractions, try not to wallow/spiral, do things that make you happy.<br />
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No year has been the same in terms of how I feel. Yesterday was a confusing one. I don't even think I know if I can describe how I felt because it was like an on/off switch. One moment I truly think I am okay and the next, I feel sad that my mom will never see my big moments. Also as I get older, I also have the thoughts of whether motherhood will be in the picture for me (look up geriatric pregnancy lol), so it was a complicated feeling of not having a mom and wondering if you'll be a mom.<br />
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I've said it before that no matter the empathy explaining the loss of a mom is the hardest thing when it has not been experienced so sometimes it can be isolating. Not really knowing how to express your thoughts and how you are feeling while trying not to make anyone uncomfortable. I have a friend who we don't speak often at all and a friend who I speak to often. Every mother's day they always send me a message and I appreciate it a lot.<br />
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Needless to say it can be an exhausting day emotionally because of the managing of many emotions because in all this, on the outside I am seemingly okay (it's complicated, I know). As I type this, I am watching the MJ documentary - The Last Dance and it is a scene where three years after his dad's death, he played a championship game on Father's Day. It was his first win without his dad here and he throws himself on the floor and bawls. The man played a whole championship game and won it but was emotionally wrecked. That is the closest example I can give.<br />
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I do hope as time passes by I learn to manage my grief and the big dates better (lashing out and picking a fight with the mr. is a sign I could do better). Coincidentally, I came across this post by <a href="http://www.themoderncedar.com/2015/05/the-carousel-never-stops-turning.html?showComment=1588536223706#c6056846971836920495" target="_blank">Modern Cedar</a> that talks about how life goes on even in your lowest days so I might as well find the healthiest way.<br />
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To all the Mothers, hope you had a wonderful day and hope you felt appreciated. Be sure to appreciate your moms/parents. Take lots of pictures and videos and keep voicemails and emails and all. Have a great week ahead and hope you all are still staying safe!!!TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-20519018042336203482020-05-06T20:31:00.002-05:002020-05-06T20:31:49.723-05:00When Will This End?Hi Guys,<br />
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Hope everyone is staying safe. It's been...honestly don't know how long it has been...since COVID has been dropped on our heads and I don't know how to honestly say how I am doing.<br />
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On the surface, I want to say I am fine but if I dig deeper, I don't know if that is true. My mind is always racing. I am wondering when all this is going to end. If, it is going to end because if we have to be honest, based on all the reports coming out, NOONE knows ANYTHING about this virus. The news changes from day to day on what to look out for. Even surviving seems to come with consequences, as we now hear how survivors are in need of dialysis.<br />
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I know people who have lost their jobs, had hours cut, some of us in the job market or being furloughed. All of that comes with a lot of uncertainty. I think about all the businesses shut down and how owners have to decide whether to stay open or shut down with no income coming in. When I take my walks around the neighborhood, I see more businesses with signs saying they are shut down permanently. These are people with families they need to provide for.<br />
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I love to read and I haven't cracked open a book in what feels like forever. I had a flashpan thought today that maybe the virus will just disappear unexpectedly the same way that it came. One can hope. I do have days of hope and feeling like God got me but I go back and forth (terrible child of God, me)<br />
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I think about loved ones who are going through personal tough times in addition to this and this is absolutely the worst time to go through extra adulting things.<br />
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Sigh.<br />
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I hope you all are staying safe and handling this better than I am. Share with me in the comments how you are coping. Have a good rest of the week.TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-76240834154056358852020-04-14T16:12:00.000-05:002020-04-14T16:12:04.867-05:00Friends With BenefitsYesterday on twitter, I came across a tweet that read:<br />
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<i>"The friendship is the most important part of being FWB tbh. That’s why it’s friends with benefits not benefits with friends. Think about it"</i><br />
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Now, the person was being cheeky but I had responded before I realized that.<br />
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So my thoughts on this.<br />
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The misleading thing about that title is thinking the person you are getting and giving benefits to is your friend. Now granted, we all define friends differently but once you get into a casual situationship or situation where you are just scratching each others itch then something about the friendship is pushed to the bottom, it's no longer a friendship but now a sexual understanding/arrangement.<br />
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<i>It shouldn't be explained but I feel I have to. Whenever opinions are made it is not always fact and does not always apply to every single situation. In this case if this goes on for a long time without evolving to a relationship this is what I am referring to. A FWB situation.</i><br />
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Of all the people in the world, why hook up with someone who considers you a friend? Are you treated differently depending on whether or not you are having sex? Would you call someone who hooks up with you when single, does not see you as a romantic interest, then drops you (if they drop sef) when they get a girlfriend and comes right back to you when that is over? A friend that sees you as an intermission?<br />
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I get that just because they do the basic things anyone would do as a decent human being to anyone and care about your welfare, does not make them a friend or excuse some of their actions. I also know there are some progressive people who never catch feelings or don't care but for the most part that is not the case. It usually ends in tears. In the past, you couldn't convince me that these people weren't my friends. I even think it's what made it last longer. But in recent realizations and introspections, I came to the conclusion that they were not my friends, it was just convenience (and stupidity on my end tbh)<br />
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I watch a lot of reality shows that involve romantic involvements and a lot of what I have noticed is just how much unhealthy dating habits we have as a people. We tend to lie to ourselves. And sometimes to move forward and not stay in the same hamster wheel of ruts, it requires not doing the same things and changing. Being honest about ourselves and what we want.<br />
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Now, I am not being a prude and not saying don't get yours when you want with whoever, I think I am just saying that I think the "friend" in FWB should be taken very loosely. I know it might be an unpopular opinion but ah well.<br />
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Hope everyone is staying safe in this weird COVID times. Hopefully, this will pass at some point and we can experience the outside to the fullest again!<br />
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P.S ICYMI PSA ANNOUNCEMENT - Original Mgbeke blogged. I repeat. Original Mgbeke blogged. If you think I am lying, go see for yourself!<br />
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<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-28445042468243621612020-03-19T19:02:00.000-05:002020-03-19T19:02:17.457-05:00COVID19If you are reading this can you even believe what is going on right now?<br />
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Because I can't.<br />
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Every day I wake up and consume news I shouldn't be consuming in such copious amounts and fuel my anxiety. It honestly doesn't feel real to me. It is so surreal to know that we are actually living out something that will be in the history books and it is not a movie or a book.<br />
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And to think people aren't taking this seriously.<br />
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The way this has been handled by the govt. has been an absolute joke.<br />
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We had a headstart. We did nothing. Even now with all the measures being taken and telling us to socially distance ourselves, it all seems so laughable to me because everyday planes are taking off and landing in different countries and the virus continues to spread.<br />
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The Mr and I were talking the other day and we were saying how no matter how cautious you are, it just seems impossible to prevent any virus particles 100%. We just have so much interaction with everything. From mail to packages, to keys, to surfaces, to door knobs and surfaces and the air.<br />
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Now this would not be an issue if we were all completely locked in at home but its all partial. We are for the most part, going out for works, popping in quickly into the store to get this or that so it's not completely hands free. And have you tried not touching your face?!<br />
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I know I need to limit my COVID news consumption but I haven't mastered that yet and I keep spiraling and questioning every feeling and checking if my throat is sore. God save us.<br />
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On a random note, something I thought of was I see a lot of Christians who have actual faith say they feel protected by the Lord but then there is also the faction that says to not completely rely on that and recognize this is real. It made me wonder isn't this the exact scenario where faith should be practiced? But in reality, not everyone with faith will be protected or survive this so what does this all mean?<br />
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Oh well, on the flip, don't be like me and try to find the positives and take care of your mental health. It's fun being quasi quarantined with someoone's company you genuinely like. Parents who have to juggle working remotely and home schooling and entertaining the kids, my heart goes out to you and hope you hang in there.<br />
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I hope all this blows over soon but one guarantee is that things are not going to be the same. More than ever I truly believe this recession that has been spoken off a lot is probably going to be sooner than later. But the thing is...nothing remains the same and this too shall pass. And by the grace of God we will all be fine.<br />
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Stay safe people.TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-88369737674526162092020-02-27T23:06:00.002-06:002020-02-27T23:06:53.724-06:00Friday Randoms?Hi Guys! Welcome to my not Youtube channel.<br />
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I kid.<br />
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I am going to be hella random. How is everyone doing? Is your year going well? Do you feel as hopeful as you did the beginning of the year?<br />
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How are we feeling about the democratic party and the debates? I have caught a few and honestly I want to be optimistic but man, I just think he is going to get four more years.<br />
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Which do you think America is ready for first - a gay president or a female president?<br />
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Till today I will never not be in awe that America voted a black President - twice. Like the first time okay, but in retrospect how did Obama beat McCain that seems to be the epitome of everything America loves.<br />
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Obama scares me a bit. Noone is that perfect and his whole story was just easy breezy relatively.<br />
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Everyone is crazy about Love is Blind on Netflix. If you don't know about it, welp. Get to know more about it <a href="https://www.taynement.com/my-guilty-pleasure-loveisblind/" target="_blank">here</a>.<br />
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Lent is here again. Once again, I implore people to not low key use it as a diet plan and try to add and improve your spiritual life or give in alms in some way.<br />
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I wasn't scared about the Corona virus but I listened to some podcast today and I am officially worried. The expert they had on has food stocked in his basement and is stocking up on his medication. Eek! He did say he is trying not to be an alarmist.<br />
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I need a miracle.<br />
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I am grateful for my everyday miracles.<br />
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It's so hard to not be morbid these days. Life is short and its like there are reminders everyday, everywhere and sometimes so hard to wrap my head around the fact that I'll be gone and that's it with not a soul knowing what is on the other side. Phew.<br />
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Worrying is a bitch.<br />
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I never get how people are so brave to commit grandiose crimes in the US. They are so good, they will almost always catch you.<br />
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I could go on all night so I should quit now. I hope you guys have a lovely weekend and enjoy the mild winter we've had (I hope I haven't jinxed it). Stay blessed and enjoy my current favorite song.<br />
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<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-49473164635922860202020-01-20T14:49:00.000-06:002020-01-20T14:49:28.937-06:00Knock KnockI have this affliction where I never fully enjoy good moments because I think it's too good to be true and surely something is waiting for me around the corner. This is an affliction because when the shoe actually drops you never know if it was going to be anyways or if it was a self fulfilling prophecy.<br />
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All that to say that I pushed past that fear and had me a positive reflective last post for my year in review and 2020 was like "aww you are cute" and here we are at me trying to paddle and keep myself afloat just like old times. I suppose that's what I get for not ringing in the new year in church (but on the flip side of that I got to finally kiss someone at midnight. Can you believe I just never have in my big age? For the most part I have spent a lot of new years on a plane, flying back to America. the rest were either with family praying or in church)<br />
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But that doesn't change my resolve. I resolved to practice trusting God and turning all things over to him. So I am consciously practicing that and hoping all things turn out for the best according to His will.<br />
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How are you guys doing? Hoping the month has been going well for ya. The cold is also setting in so I hope you are staying warm. If you are staying warm indoors, do your girl a favor and visit my site - www.taynement.com loads of Netflix recommendations for ya to make your Netflix selections easier.<br />
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I will try and push my brain to have random thoughts and have them here but until then hope you have an amazing week!<br />
<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-4569258705320287532019-12-28T18:13:00.001-06:002019-12-28T18:13:11.947-06:00Year in Review - 2019I can't believe we have come to the end of the year. The end of the year is such a mixed bag of emotions. I feel hopeful, I feel scared, I feel morbid and I feel resolved to do better with each passing year. I feel hopeful because 365 days is a lot of time for many things to happen, the unexpected good and bad. Scared because of the possible bad lurking around the corner. Morbid because each year is another age marker and one year closer to death (and I don't like this at all, it's scary) and resolved because I think about what I want to do better, how I want to be better and what I will be doing to put this in motion.<br />
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My friend asked me what I would rate 2019 out of 10 and I said 7 and if you have been following me, you'll know that's a pretty damn good grade. I have had a pretty rough couple of years and I think I was pretty much just numb by the beginning of 2019. I entered into the year unemployed, squatting at a friend's place. On New Year's day, I went to a friend's church and the pastor pretty much prayed for us and told us the good news would come rolling. The 4th of January, I got a job offer from one of the interviews I had and that made me pretty optimistic about the year.<br />
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February I moved into my own place and I remember being so grateful that I could buy groceries I actually wanted, including two-ply tissue. I bought wine and used Uber Eats for the first time in my life and cried while praying and thanking God for allowing me this moment. And that is how my year started.<br />
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My year was definitely full of ups and downs but mostly ups because I made progress in my attitude and I think it solidified my thought that it really is just easier to have a positive mindset when things are going better. But either way, I am grateful for the year and for making it to the end of another.<br />
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Next year, I want to continue to do better. One thing I took away from this year is that God definitely showed up in my moments of need. I may not even have noticed but looking back, the timing was too coincidental with each occasion and that segue ways into my goal for next year. I want to learn to trust God. Like absolutely lean in and believe that His ways are not our ways. I worry so much. Like a lot. My anxiety is always on 1000. It's pretty stressful. Every thing becomes a big deal and I get so thrown when I am derailed. That's not healthy or good and can affect relationships.<br />
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So for 2020, I am going to work on myself. Believe in myself more and not be overruled by my insecurities and fears and just...be. I'll probably feel lighter. I want to enjoy life and worry less. Continue to do the things that make me happy. Continue to be intentional and continue to will, expect and accept good things in my life. I hope to have more laughs, more travels and more peace. It is not going to be easy because life ain't shit but I am willing to do the work.<br />
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I wish you guys a wonderful and prosperous New Year. I know the world is crazy and life can be hard but I hope we all pursue and enjoy our moments of happiness and enjoy them. Happy New Year's once again and once again thank you for still being with me on this blog ride. God bless you all!TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-14891306542936152372019-11-21T21:49:00.002-06:002019-11-21T21:49:54.092-06:00Friday RandomsAh. The cold is officially here. I have switched out my closet and put away my summer clothes. Wah. Can you believe we only have a month and some left of the year...actually, the decade! Man, this getting older thing is for the birds. Kinda scary actually. I just want it to slow down. Do y'all have plans for thanksgiving? I have a complicated relationship with Thanksgiving. Its always made me sad and I think it reminds me that I don't have family nearby. I have been fortunate enough to have friends and family extend invitation some years but even then I felt awkward, like I was imposing in someone else's family. I have plans this year though but most of all I am looking forward to the days off to veg out.<br />
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Okay let me random.<br />
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Why is it taboo to let people know what you earn? I mean I get why it is a rule by employers but even outside of the work place. Is it shame? What if you are a high earner where shame is not applicable? I mean people already kind of infer what others make.<br />
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Recently, I have noticed I have come across a few Indian people who have just one kid. I am not sure why I found myself surprised because as I think about it, I don't think I know of Indians being known for having a lot of kids.<br />
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It's such a crazy thing that you can never say out loud that you regret having a child.<br />
On that note, being a mom/parent seems so hard. And yep, I am making a distinction between mom and parent.<br />
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I was talking to a guy friend and telling him that no matter how good a guy is, men are inherently selfish and he took me to task. But honestly, I stand by what I said. It doesn't necessarily mean I am saying they are all bad but it's what gives men balls/audacity. That ability to think of self first.<br />
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How do you define broke? I think for me broke is when I can't afford to get little luxuries and I am on a strictly need only basis.<br />
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I am so fascinated by watching babies grow. I have mentioned before the gazillion baby/kid pics that I have and whenever I go through my pics, its so amazing to see how they have grown. Or even people you follow online and you remember when their kids were born. I told yall this getting older thing is for the birds.<br />
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Speaking of, I went through a picture rabbit hole last weekend. They usually make me feel sad but I didn't feel sad this time. It was such a crazy reminder on how relationships evolve. Number of people I don't speak to anymore and some I didn't even know their names.<br />
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I tried the overhyped Popeyes sandwich and it was just okay. But I was told I got a dry batch and it is supposed to be succulent so I will give it one more chance. But for now Chick Fil A and Wendy's still top this.<br />
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That's all I got right now. I probably won't be back before Thanksgiving so I hope you guys have a wonderful one with your loved ones and I will try to be back to wish you all a Merry Christmas! Have a lovely weekend!<br />
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<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-7213490777836786162019-11-21T20:57:00.000-06:002019-11-21T20:57:19.273-06:00Friday Randoms +1<i>I wrote this a while back and just realized I never hit enter. I just saw it in my draft. oops. Well here's stale randoms.</i><br />
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The weather is changing. This makes Taynement sad. I hate the cold. A lot. I get cold really easily and I feel so uncomfortable when I am cold. I hate the layering and the many clothes required and the burden of a coat. Sigh.<br />
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The turn of the season means I recently had a birthday. The birthday was last week and it was a nice, quiet one. I had attended a wedding in Miami and kinda turned it to a birthday weekend trip. It was nice being at my happy place aka the beach and just chilling in the water and laying in the sun listening to music and reading pretending my problems and real life don't exist. I took the actual day off and spent it with one of my favorite people. The one thing about getting older is how you get less gifts and I love gifts :(. The work peoples were nice and decorated my desk and left treats. That being said, I am grateful to be able to spend another year and what a year it's been. A lot can happen in a year.<br />
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I don't have much random thoughts because when they hit, I am not able to write them down and I forget. But let's random with the few, eh?<br />
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A friend of mine believes that at some point in life, everyone goes through a time of trial/hardship. Basically, it's not a if but when situation. I think about that sometimes and wonder if that's true or if it's like Karma (which I don't think exists) where it's merely a luck of the draw and some escape it. What do you think?<br />
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It's a funny thing (not haha funny) when people say "I can't even imagine losing my mom/dad" because it is inevitable and in the natural order of life, you will lose them. But the thing is you will survive. You will be surprised, but you will. The hole never heals and you will never be whole again, but you will.<br />
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I saw a thing this week. The fragility of life. Isn't it crazy that it takes one life changing event in our lives to change who we are. You can never be the same person after a huge event alters your life.<br />
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Every time I see Tracee Ellis Ross and Sanaa Lathan. I secretly wish they had met their life partner and had a family, only because I know it is something they have mentioned as a desire before but then I sit and wonder if I am setting the female movement back by thinking that because for all I know, they could be hella happy as they are.<br />
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Is there an age limit to being boy crazy?<br />
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Emotional intelligence is such an important thing to have in a partner. Too bad its so rare. The worst is those that think they have it and absolutely don't.<br />
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Every time I see people say marriage will be extinct in a few years, I chime in to say I disagree. I don't think so. Human beings are wired for companionship and almost always comes in tandem with the desire for marriage. There is a reason people marry multiple times. You would think they would avoid it. It's one of the reasons people stay in expired marriages. It's an innate human desire to belong to someone publicly, so to speak, in that legal way. It ain't going nowhere.<br />
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How do you drink your coffee? I drink my coffee with one or the other. One or the other being cream or sugar. If it has cream, no sugar and vice versa.<br />
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I had a conversation with a friend and it felt stilted and it made me sad. I remember when our convos were free flowing and open. But I think she has new set of friends and life now. Sometimes, recognizing the end of an era is a life lesson and you have to make your peace with it.<br />
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Kevin Spacey's accuser just "miraculously" dies? Ok Jan.<br />
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That's all I got guys. Hope you have a fantastic weekend. Make sure you get some rest or some groove, whichever suits your fancy and stay blessed. Remember to always stay prayered up because the devil never stops resting and is always on the prowl. For anyone with a heavy heart or a lot on their mind, please receive virtual hug and know that seasons come and go and things get better!<br />
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<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-76696041721313314012019-10-29T11:50:00.002-05:002019-10-29T12:01:51.691-05:00Checking InHi My Lovelies, it has been a minute and a half and a thousand seconds. Life has gotten in the way (yup, I know gotten is not a word but I like using it). I don't think I could have ever envisioned this year. When my mom passed, a friend gave me a journal that's a 5 year journal (I have mentioned that here before) so it's just a few lines but all 5 years are on the same page, so you get to see progress or lack thereof. My years seemed to be the same and quite frankly, I was embarassed seeing the same pain points over and over. I told myself this year had to be the breakthrough year.<br />
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Last year was so weird, it was consumed mostly by my unemployment (I was suddenly laid off by my company. Blindside was an understatement but it was also the best thing that has happened to me) and health issues. It was so rough and heavy is the word I'd use to describe it. I got through solely by the grace of God and my family and friends. During that time I decided I wanted to lead an intentional life. I've had people ask what intentional life means. For me, intentional means making a decision and taking things in my hands vs. waiting for things to happen to me.<br />
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I started with my former company. I had an opportunity to still stay or take a severance but I knew in my heart it was time to take a leap of faith and look for more. With no job in hand, I decided to take a leap of faith despite the fear in my heart. There were other occurences that I consider private but all I'll say is I'm grateful.<br />
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Life is not one big fairy tale and its not to say there hasn't been downs but it's all part of the experience and all I ask is the grace and the strength to get through the downs. I suffer from acute anxiety so Lord knows its a struggle to take things in stride. Even when things are decent, I am still worrying about how long this will last or how long before the error is discovered?<br />
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Anyways, I have been reading and watching videos on crazy faith and trying to practice that but it's hard af. But I have to constantly remind myself of things in the past and how someway, somehow I got through it and I'll be remiss to think it was all on my power alone.<br />
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I know one thing I did different was I spent New Year's at church. I've always said that I didn't think it made a difference where you spent the New Year but is it coincidence that my one decent year in a while was when I spent it at church? hmmm. It's such a crazy thing because just a few years ago, I was over it all and thought faith was some myth. I don't even still know where I stand on that. As in, am I telling myself its faith because its what I know or is it just fate and there is no rhyme or reason?<br />
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Adulting is such a bizarre thing, it's like you just never know where the head or tail is and what you should be chasing. I'm entereing a new chapter in my life and its crazy how the future can be exciting and yet still nerve wracking (do you say nerve wrecking? - eww). That small reminder that we are just one tiny little atom in a whole big universe.<br />
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Anyways, cheers to the rest of the year. I'd love to hear how you guys are doing. Feel free to drop an update in the comment section. Muah!<br />
<br />TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-77868211527821974642019-08-21T21:19:00.003-05:002019-08-21T21:19:55.860-05:00AverageSometime ago, I random'd how it is a special type of painment when you feel like you are doing due diligence and putting all the work and there is nothing to show for it.<br />
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I think a different dimension to that painment is the day you discover you are just average.<br />
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I was watching awards being given out at work and I suddenly realized, I am never one of those people. In my professional career, I don't think I have ever been one of the super stars. Just the diligent, well liked, get things done worker. But not the superstar.<br />
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I have theories on why that might be but yea...<br />
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It's a funny thing, when I was younger, I truly thought the world was my oyster. I was so tenacious. I got an internship on sheer tenacity and got hired without ever being seen in person. On a regular day, I actually do think I am exceptional. I consider myself intelligent, I know a little bit about everything and can hold conversations on a number of things. I am a curious person and try to learn anything I can, I have drive, I take risks and almost always put to action things I think about. I also learn quickly (geez this sounds like a resume), so I seemingly have all the ingredients.<br />
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But I am not sure if these things translate professionally or if they even matter. Maybe there is more to being a stand out worker or maybe I just haven't found the right fit. But it'll be nice to find out. Per usual I could be being hard on myself, who knows? I guess I have two choices. Find out the secret to being a superstar or accept my mediocrity and be at peace with it.<br />
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Thanks for listening as always and I hope you guys are having a great summer especially as it winds down.<br />
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You guys say a prayer that Friday Randoms makes its way back someday! haha.TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8715141585183771502.post-90757334564041118012019-07-22T22:18:00.001-05:002019-07-22T22:18:42.978-05:00Popping in to say HelloI've been a bad girl. I haven't blogged or even had a friday random in a minute. I have no good reason tbh. The days seem to be going so fast and they really are all a blur now. It's like I go to work, countdown to the end of the day and countdown to the weekend (which is terrible by the way) come home and before you know it, it's time for bed and my alarm goes off and its wash, rinse, repeat.<br />
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I live for the weekends now. I am having a good summer tbh. It really is very easy to focus on the thorn(s) in your life and forget the roses. I keep getting good advice to not let the thorns take over and to take the time to smell roses but man sometimes yo, sometimes life can be a hater that be disturbing somebody but I shall continue to try.<br />
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I haven't had the chance to travel as much as I usually would but I went on vacation a few weeks ago and it was a great time hanging with family and just being away from the stresses of work. I love summer yo. Just feels freeing, no jackets encumbering you just the beautiful sun shining in your face. People complain about the heat and sweating and nananana. I'll take that over the snow, wind and biting cold. I love water and being in a pool is glorious. I should find a way to make it to the beach.<br />
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I am still reading as much as I can but lately my books have been checking back into the library before I am able to finish reading. Wah.(Visit www.twonightstands.com !) I am still watching as much TV but I feel I have less time so I really am not watching as much as I should be (visit www.taynement.com and follow on instagram - @Taynementdotcom)<br />
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Trying to learn lessons this summer. It's hard for me to think positively. I am always fearful of what the worst will be and wondering when it will happen (this is not the way to live guys). This summer I am trying to push past my fears, take leaps of faith and think myself deserving of any good that comes my way.<br />
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At the end of the day tbh, my goal in life is to be happy and to have peace. I don't expect life to be smooth sailing and without bumps but a lesson I learned in 2015 is life is short. People say it all the time but I don't think they truly know it is. I am acutely aware of it. I try to remember it when I get fearful and it tries to steer my life decisions.<br />
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I want to choose happy always and I wish happy for everyone.<br />
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Okay. That's all the catch up I got. Is everyone having a good summer? What is happening in y'alls lives? I wanna know!TayneMenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13992618450733549102noreply@blogger.com0