Why won't you let us live, COVID?

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 I am always complaining about people leaving blogville and now I have become one of the people who don't post regularly. This is not intentional. I have COVID burnout and I am not ashamed to admit it. I feel a bit weird to say it because I didn't have to spend lockdown by myself and I also didn't have to spend it with kids while trying to manage a full time job, so do I have a right to complain?

I think I do though. (It's my party, I can cry if I want to...and all that jazz)

COVID has affected people in different ways and believe it or not for some, they haven't really been affected. In fact, they have thrived. Again, I don't know where I fall in this category. On paper, most would say I was thriving. I started the lockdown unemployed and with no direction. Fast forward and I am at a job I like with a great boss and I started two podcasts with one doing better than we ever expected. It didn't occur to me until much later in a random moment that I was doing what I always said I wanted to do - to get paid to gab about anything pop culture related. Life is funny eh?

On the flip side, my anxiety was through the roof not knowing what this virus was about, witnessing so much death and illness, I lost my uncle during this time, despite my best attempts I did not avoid the COVID weight gain, I have not seen most of my family in almost two years, I had a nephew that I will never have newborn pics with and I have yet to meet. 

A year later, with the fakeout that was the light at the end of the tunnel all I felt/feel is exhaustion. I am tired, people. Mentally, physically, emotionally et al. We still don't know what this virus is about, there is so much going on. I had a mini vacation but I don't even know if vacations refresh anyone anymore because it was almost like it didn't happen.

I truly recognize my blessings and I am grateful but I also recognize my exhaustion. I wish I could take like a 6 month sabbatical and just coast through everything. It's just all too much. I have never done well with the unknown and COVID is seeming to be a big giant ball of the unknown. I know I have to adjust and get with the program and I will. Humans are resilient.

You can thank the resurgence of COVID for this post. I AM TIRED OF COVID AND ALL THAT IT COMES WITH! I am not as scared as the first time around because I just don't have the same energy to give but more than anything I wish everything would "normalize" so we can just worry about the million other things life already gives us to worry about. COVID just elevates all of those worries with another layer.

How is everyone doing, really and truly? Hope everyone is hanging in there and for those who are doing well, do you have any tips?

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