Monday, October 24, 2016

Loneliness

I watch this show called 90 Day Fiance. It is not meant to be hilarious but it is. It's basically a show about Americans that fall in love with people who aren't Americans and live in their country. They apply for a Fiance visa and when they get it and come over to America, they have 90 days to get married before they have to leave.

It's hilarious because it's hard to believe what you are watching. Some of these pairings are obvious scams but the American in the relationship can't see it. We have had a couple where the guy was like in his 60's and he married a 19 year old Filipino. Bear in mind he imported his ex wife from the Phillipines ans she left him. We have another couple who has been married 3 times and this is his 4th and of course because Naija no dey carry last. We have a Yoruba demon who actually catfished his now fiancee and even told her that the mother of his son was dead amongst other lies. He still proposed and she said yes, which brings me to the point of my post.

You hear so many stories in life and so many scenarios on social media that you can't help but ponder. I think I have come to the conclusion that marriages nowadays aren't failing mostly because people aren't trying as hard but more because they got married for the wrong reasons in the first place. You see so many things that seem like obvious red flags to everyone but the couple involved and you hear but we love each other. Same applies to staying or extending an already dead relationship. Why does this happen? I think its loneliness.

If you know me long enough, you will know that I think the actual concept of marriage is so bizarre but hey it's how we are wired. Humans long to belong to someone and to find their person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, again it is how we are wired. But that longing, I believe sometimes leads us to bad decision making - justifying bad behavior, landing in a bed you shouldn't be in, staying in an unhealthy situation all in a bid to not be alone.

There are people who genuinely fear being alone/single. Like real fear. Everyone has different fears, so I can't knock them. But isn't it so amazing how something like that can have such a huge effect in our lives? To the point of being okay with being in a mediocre relationship, just as long as they aren't alone.

I have lost my train of thought and I really hope this doesn't come off as me bashing people but I watched Princess on Love and Hip Hop tonight list a whole bunch of nonsense and nasty things she and Ray have done to each other and yet they went ahead with a wedding and that just set something off in my head like hooww? or whyyy? and maybe things are a lot more complicated than I realize but my main point is more about me marveling on how powerful the need to be paired off is that strong a force in our lives.

What do yall think?

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. How are yall doing? Are you as bummed as I am that the temperatures have dropped? *sad face* and to make things worse daylight savings is round the corner. Ah well, time to bundle up and for the fashion people who won't let us hear word, time to show off their fashionz. I saw someone bundled up the other day. Coat, scarf, boots the works. I am like geez, its still high 60's/70's. Let's observe some calm. There will be plenty of time to dress for the actual cold. Here we go on some randoms:

I don't like when women call their friends "girlfriends". I dunno, just sounds odd to me.

What is faith? How do you find faith? If your faith has not truly been tested, do you really have faith?

I thought it was a phase but clearly guys, I am still struggling :(

Was talking to a friend about her relationship and she just blurted out that relationships are so much hard work and "98.7% people are lying about their relationships and most won't confess about their hardship till you say your own" I put that in quotes cuz that was what she said verbatim.

I think that people often think that the path not chosen might have been a better choice but they don't realize that it almost always seems like the better choice because it is the path that wasn't traveled.

I am watching this show and while I think that I am pretty open minded, I gotta say that I don't know that I will be comfortable dating a trans person (I hope this isn't offensive)

This just made me wonder if the above is in the same vein as maybe a white person saying I don't know that I will be comfortable dating a black person. racism or preference?

All that to say that a lot of  Nigerians seem to think they are modern and open minded and really honestly aren't.

I was in London not too long ago and its much colder there. All the men are in sweats or joggers as they prefer to call it so basically it's dick print galore over there. My cousin was like do they not care that there's just walking around with a protrusion. They don't care or they don't know how to pack it?

That being said, some men aren't capable of having bulges. Their flat fronts are always...flat. Which is not indicative of anything. :)

Is there an equivalent of down low brothers for gay people? i.e a self identifying gay person (not bisexual) who is secretly having sex with members of the opposite sex

A friend of mine said one of the weird things about marriage is there's just certain things you can't talk about. For example, when you have a completely bad ass session with a chick you tell your boys but that's something you can't do with a wife. That gave me all the lolz.

A teacher in my gym class said if she could afford it, she would have more kids because she enjoys being pregnant and would totally be a surrogate. Made me wonder how many white surrogates have carried black children.

It's so weird to me when virgins say things like "it was an orgasm in my mouth" or "orgasm to my eyes". Yes I know they might be virgins who self pleasure. But still weird to me. Nobody said I made sense all the time.

I tweeted today about how Naija women will complain about Naija men die and yet stay loyal to them and date noone else but them. Not unlike how black women stick to just black men. Funny enough, in both groups the men don't hesitate to look beyond and fulfill their own happiness. I wonder why that is.

Okay guys. That's all I got. Have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe and stay blessed. Oh and please visit www,taynement.com

sorry you have to click on another link to hear the song.