Showing posts from July, 2014

The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is...

This is the final installment and it comes from a guy.

Q: What is the biggest and hardest lesson you've learned in marriage?

A: Biggest revelation: it's not about me (i.e. It's about oneness - the two shall become one. It's about me loving and caring for my wife as I love and care for myself, learning and anticipating her needs, helping her to become all she can be - God's plan for her). In this effort I have to be ever ready and willing to forgive her (and seek her forgiveness), I have to swallow my pride, I have to put her first - sacrifice for her... All this was news for me, and is an ongoing challenge, but awareness and understanding is half the battle.

Hardest lesson? Putting most of the above to work - despite my wife's stubbornness/pride. But I'm figuring it out better now (with her help). The other is raising kids... It's a unique and awesome experience (that I would do again and again in a heart beat, but it's no walk in the park either).

Tales About Nigeria - Part 5

Hi guys, thanks for reading the series. This is the final part in the series. Thank you so much to the contributor. I have no other contributors so this is also the end of the Naij series. It was fun while it lasted!

Here's the last post:

They arrive at a hotel in Surulere. The hotel was full of ashawo prostitutes and more familiar faces from the dinner. They walked into the restaurant and sitting down were two men wearing suits. As soon as the guy sat down, the men began to tell the guy his life story. The guy was in shock, how did they know all these things? He thought to blame PA, but there was no time for the PA to tell the men in suits everything that was discussed at the previous meeting. 
One of the men in a suit asked the guy if he still wanted to be rich and powerful. The guy thought about it briefly, then nodded his head. They told him that all he had to do was come back to them with two million naira by next week and he will be granted the power. The guy asked, "I hav…

The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is...(3)

Q: What is the biggest and hardest lesson you have learned in marriage?

Biggest Lesson Learned In Marriage Respecting my husband even when he hasn't earned it. I've learned that his emotions, his confidence, is closely tied to how I treat him. And even when he makes wrong decisions, and I'm disappointed or upset I have to always respect him regardless. And it's hard because as a woman I tend to reward good with love and bad with dislike and I'm learning to reward every with Love and Respect. Second thing I've learned is somewhat tied to the first which is not leaning to my husband for ALL my needs. I knew this before we got married but it's easier said that's done. After all we look at our husbands as the head of the families, king of our castles  so it's only natural to expect them to fulfill all of our many crazy expectations.   But a friend have me a book ( When I  Get Married) Bu Jerusha Clark and she ricocheted the idea of putting your expectat…

Tales About Nigeria - Part 4

These are the final parts of the installments but they will be split in two. Feel free to catch up on the others. Here's the first part of Part 4

When you go on social media, most times what you see is the end result of something. For example, when someone posts "To God be the Glory" for a new luxury vehicle, all you are looking at is the end result. Most times, we, the audience, have no idea what was put into acquiring the end product. We assume that because we have jobs, and are hard working, these people also have jobs and are hard working. Well, we all know that sometimes this is not the case. 

When you are in Nigeria, you see Range Rovers and G-Wagons at the same rate that you would see a Toyota Camry or a Honda Civic in the states. You sit and wonder, how on earth can these people afford these expensive vehicles? Strangely enough, what I noticed was that my friends that I see in offices working hard spending 24/7 at their jobs are not the ones with these kind of cars…

The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is...(2)

Here's (1) if you are interested.

Q: What is the biggest and hardest lesson you have learned in marriage?

A: 1. Be comfortable with imperfection in everything, especially when close analysis will show that you are slightly imperfect too.

2. The feelings will change and mutate, don't freak out. There was a reason you fell in love, made the choice, took the leap, His/Her essence remains but life will happen and the mundane may suck some things.
3. Focus on making the other happy, consciously or else it is actually quiet easy to take the selfish route out of frustration and things begin to change
4. Focus on being happy, do not make any person solely responsible for your happiness..its a lot to carry
5. Sometimes the joy and happiness of this new phase can be overwhelming...remember and preserve those moments. 
6. You have a new responsibility and it can be challenging caring, supporting and providing for another person, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, physically but take it easy an…

Friday Randoms

Howdy Ho. How are you guys? Can you believe it's Friday again? We say it all the time but time really is flying but I am not complaining as long as God gives me life and I can get weekends to bum out and relax. Guys, I have to say I am in such a good place in my life that I really don't believe it. Who knew this existed? After having turmoil-filled years, I think I got used to that but this is nice. Praises to God for everything. I am so glad it's summer. I will never understand people who complain about it. I am having a great one so far. Lots of activities and travel lined up. I had a great 4th of July. Got to see Nicki Minaj and Ed Sheeran perform and participated in a color run. Our team name was Team FixIt Jesus lol. gabble, gabble. Let's random.

I'd like to give a shout out to my best friend. We are separated by distance and we don't talk as often because she is a doctor and they have yeye schedules but we make it work. I appreciate how she always knows t…

Tales About Nigeria - Part 3

Hello good folks, please find Part 1 and Part 2 from previous posts, if you'd like to catch up. Here's Part 3:

While I was in Nigeria, I used to go and visit my cousin at her job in a hospital. She was telling me about a cute guy that wanted to take her to the movies. The guy, according to her, was good looking, had a good job, and had a nice sized bum bum lol. She was skeptical about going to the movies with him because she could sense something off about him but she couldn't put her finger on what it was. My cousin agreed to go the the movies with the guy and he told her that he was coming with his friend from work. So she asked me to come with her so I could be the friend's date. I agreed so that we could use the opportunity to jointly investigate his "off-ness." Plus it didn't hurt that in pictures, his friend was good looking.
My cousin and I arrive at the Silverbird in the Galleria and the guys were already there waiting for us. They were fresh guys e…

The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is... (1)

I was catching up with a friend from Grad school and she was saying how she'e entering into her second year of marriage and really enjoying it and it was getting better with each year. I was happy to hear that. I remember in grad school she was like 33 or 34 and she was really concerned about not being married yet, so I am glad it was working out for her.

Anyways, my "i secretly always wish I could make a documentary and I swear I had the concept of "True Life" first before someone else did and MTV started airing it" self decided to ask about the biggest and hardest lesson in marriage learned and she seemed eager to share since I got a lengthy answer. I've done something similar before here. But I got a few more in depth answers that I will be posting intermittently. If any of you would like to share yours, feel free to email me at In the meantime, enjoy! (wait, is enjoy the right word?)

Have a blessed week.

Q: What is the biggest and h…

Being Me Blog Tag

Madam Bella Imperfezione tagged me on this and I promised to do it, so here we go. Oh and also Happy 4th of July!

Are you named after someone?Nope. But I do have to say that two of my other names are names of two of my aunts (mom sis and dad sis) who are dead. I duno does that mean that's a yes? When was the last time you cried?Hmm, I don't remember. Oh I do. It was June 4. At my doctor's office.:( Do you have any children?Nope If you were another person, would you be a friend of yourself?Yep. I'd probably find myself annoying but will see enough good qualities to overlook. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Reality shows, sugar Do you like handwriting?I usually would sayyes but I tried the pen pal thing not long ago and man, my fingers hurt and I just thought it was taking too long. What’s your favourite cereal?Frosted Rice Krispies What’s the first thing you notice about people?Accent and height What’s the colour of your eyes?Black? Brown? Scary movies or happy endings?Happy en…

Tales About Naij - Part 2

I've been posting a series from a reader about their time in Nigeria. You can catch up on Part 1 here. Here's Part 2:

I've had this conversation so many times with different people. "Why do you love Nigeria so much?" "You weren't born there, do the hardships even exist to someone like you?" "Ajebutter like you living in Nigeria, they will scam you, with your obodo oyinbo accent." Yup, I heard it all, and I was still undeterred. A whole me, born and bred in America, made the decision to move to Nigeria.
After all, how bad could it be? I go there on holidays and enjoy myself. Naij, according to social media, just seems like the happening place to be. In the blogs you see the flashy life styles of the entertainers. On social media you unintentionally live vicariously through the words people write about their good times in Nigeria. You do hear about the "sufferhead" aspect, but its always generalized to things we feel we can cope wi…