Monday, July 21, 2014

The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is...(3)

Q: What is the biggest and hardest lesson you have learned in marriage?

A:
Biggest Lesson Learned In Marriage
Respecting my husband even when he hasn't earned it. I've learned that his emotions, his confidence, is closely tied to how I treat him. And even when he makes wrong decisions, and I'm disappointed or upset I have to always respect him regardless. And it's hard because as a woman I tend to reward good with love and bad with dislike and I'm learning to reward every with Love and Respect.
Second thing I've learned is somewhat tied to the first which is not leaning to my husband for ALL my needs. I knew this before we got married but it's easier said that's done. After all we look at our husbands as the head of the families, king of our castles  so it's only natural to expect them to fulfill all of our many crazy expectations. 
 But a friend have me a book ( When I  Get Married) Bu Jerusha Clark and she ricocheted the idea of putting your expectations on the ONLY one that can fulfill them - GOD. 
 Your husband is human, he has flaws , weaknesses, issues as much as you do and he CANNOT and SHOULD NOT  be expected to fulfill all your needs. Have reasonable expectations for him and remember he is as human as you. Because when you don't then you start to resent him for not fulfilling your every every - Same Goes for the husband I presume. 

The Most Difficult Lesson
- Submission. 
Anyone that knows me knows I can be feisty and ready to cut you verbally ( I can't physically fight so I sharpened my mouth skills)   
It's hard being and independent opinionated woman to take a back seat to a man. It's easier for me because I trust and completely love my husband but it's still a struggle. Especially when your husband chastises you for whatever you've done wrong ( wether you think it's wrong or not). My instinct is to comeback with a smart aleck remark and I always have to remind myself it's not about who hits best. There are other ways to make my case without making my husband feel small or disrespected. If he feels that way not only will it hurt him, it hurts me and how i see him. It will affect of sex life our marriage and we will resent each other. So I bite my tongue, I chant "remember your god given role woman" and he eventually apologizes cos he knows it took a lot for me to not say anything back. 

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"So I bite my tongue, ... and he eventually apologizes cos he knows it took a lot for me to not say anything back. "

I learned this early in my marriage, not "relationship" (I was slicker in the mouth then). Silence is very powerful. When in doubt keep calm and stay quiet.