The Biggest and Hardest Lesson is... (1)

I was catching up with a friend from Grad school and she was saying how she'e entering into her second year of marriage and really enjoying it and it was getting better with each year. I was happy to hear that. I remember in grad school she was like 33 or 34 and she was really concerned about not being married yet, so I am glad it was working out for her.

Anyways, my "i secretly always wish I could make a documentary and I swear I had the concept of "True Life" first before someone else did and MTV started airing it" self decided to ask about the biggest and hardest lesson in marriage learned and she seemed eager to share since I got a lengthy answer. I've done something similar before here. But I got a few more in depth answers that I will be posting intermittently. If any of you would like to share yours, feel free to email me at In the meantime, enjoy! (wait, is enjoy the right word?)

Have a blessed week.

Q: What is the biggest and hardest lesson you've learned in marriage?

A: Glad you asked about the biggest lesson because I have been meditating on it. When you go into marriage, you should go in with an open mind, ready to give and serve your mate. Many people (I was one of them some time back) go into it only thinking of what they will get/receive from their spouse. You have to be willing to give and as you do so you will also receive. Giving and receiving may not match up 50:50 because God has blessed each person differently and one person can do some things better than the other or sometimes you are both good at the same things or vice versa. But yes, biggest lesson, be ready to give (because God has put things in you that your spouse needs) and serve. Its a ministry.

The hardest thing for me to date is getting in the groove of cooking and all the household chores. Thank God my hubby helps but He prefers home cooked meals and it does not come naturally for me. I never used to cook when I was single:-(

But you know God doesn't give us what we cant handle. Marriage is like putting a mirror in front of yourself/life. You cannot hide your weaknesses from your spouse for long. At some point, you have to embrace them and work on the ones you can (with God's help). But I agree with you, it could be worse. I used to be very hard headed and kinda full of myself at some point in my life but God worked on me on those things before my husband came. I don't struggle with submission like most gals I know. The other thing is finances. Co-mingling finances and agreeing on spending habits and savings was also a tough one for the first year but we are slowly getting in sync.

Becoming one is a process. I love what my Pastor preached one day regarding Proverbs 14 "a wise woman builds her house". Building takes time. Look at all great buildings/ architecture, it took good planning, time and resources to build. That really helped me  a lot because I used to think that I should be a perfect wife from the get go. Now I'm ok that I'm not perfect but Im getting better as we go.


Berry Dakara said…
"Now I'm ok that I'm not perfect but Im getting better as we go."

MPB said…
She really gave such good answers and like Berry above, I LOVED; "Now I'm ok that I'm not perfect but Im getting better as we go."
mizchif said…
I love how honest her response is.

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