Monday, June 29, 2009

4 in one Week.

Wow, was last week not something?
4 celeb deaths in one week. Besides, the death of an entertainment great - Mr Michael Jackson himself, there was also Farah Fawcett, Ed Mcmahon and Billy May ( the dude who did the oxiclean informercials). RIP to them all.

Due to my limited internet connection I can't pay M.J real tribute the way I would like with videos and pictures but say what you want about him the man was blessed with talent and I dare you to disagree. Wherever you are in the world, I am sure you have been inundated with videos and montages of M.J's life from childhood, the man was most comfortable on stage, I mean even when he began to look scary looking when he was on stage sometimes he looked dare I say (lol, no kill me oh). All this talk about pedophilia, IMHO(In my humble opinion), I really don't think he did anything sexual, as far as I am concerned MJ was asexual and had no interest in sex. I truly believe, his development stopped in his mind as a little boy and that was how he operated. I mean Neverland ranch,chimpanzees as friends and constant sleepovers, dude thought he was Peter Pan. Look at that interview with Martin Bashir, for someone who did somethig wrong he still had a little boy on his lap and didn't think wrong of what he had done. Whichever way sha, God will judge him and I hope people will finally let him be now that he is gone. I can't imagine how sad he was,alive. Thank you for the great music you left us, May God grant comfort to your family and may your sould rest in perfect peace. Amen.

Naija Randoms:

I got a driver's license today. In the words of Sasha, I am slowly becoming a "gidi babe, gidi-gidi babe"..I keed. My picture is so horrible, I dey shame.

I have noticed it before but this weekend it really grated on my nerves, this whole european cheek kiss thing that naijas do. You see each other, "hey" and then proceed to kiss each other on each cheek. na beans? It just seems so pretentious but hey what do I know?

Would it be so wrong to have a deodorant drive event here? You know to help my fellow country people know the importance of deodorant?

Here I was thinking the BET awards would be shown live. My cousin, brother and I had the gen on at 2am to watch only to see the ad that we won't get it till July 4 :(..Ah well, fb statuses let me have an idea how it went.

Naija songs to check out(I don't have all the complete info, sowwy)

Wande Coal's album (again)
Yori Yori by Bracket
Pass me your love by TeryG
some song like this by Shank ft Akon
some song like this by Bukky

On friday, I got praise by my boss, today I got chewed out :(

Everyone and their mama, most especially the radio dj's have a british accent, it gets annoying sometimes.

I still think Okadas should be eradicated.GRRRRR!

I am in some kind of mishmash right now. hopefully everything sorts itself out.

I miss a certain friend of mine but I am not going to make any effort anymore so I don't force a friendship so to speak. I hope she is doing okay though.

I hope y'all had a good weekend. My weekend wiped me out, I slept almost all of sunday. This chic is taking a break this weekend and chilling at home. Have a good week ahead people!

Monday, June 22, 2009

3 Weeks and Counting...

Yesterday I was thinking about my stay so far and I have to say that I am happy here. I didn't think it was possible my first week but like my friends told me, you will get used to it. I think I am. I have gotten used to the no light thingie (prolly cuz of gen till 12), I have gotten used to keeping my purse on the floor and holding my phone down when in traffic, unless I want to risk it being snatched, I think I have even gotten used to the traffic lol. Ok, granted it might be this false sense of happiness because I have no responsibilities here i.e. bills and I don't drive much but I am still enjoying my time here.

On the flip side, people always ask what I miss the most and I say my independence. Trying to adjust to everything all over again and not knowing or having a way around town could be frustrating because then I have to depend on someone else, which I don't like doing. That is still taking a bit of adjusting. Seeing as I don't want to enter Bus and stuff, the car hire and taxis et al that I have used on few occasion cannot be used frequently else I’ll be a broke mofo.

My people, I am being punished for saying men in yanks don't take action oh! The men here don't play! Ok so part of my job description involves going to trade shows and exhibitions. At my most recent one, I met a lot of corporate, sleazy men. So far, I have been using the excuse that I just came to naija last week and I haven't gotten a working number but I will be glad to give a (fake) email addy. I did that oh, please tell me why yesterday this dude had sent a messenger back to the venue to give me his card and info, telling me that he has been emailing me and he got no response and I should call him as soon as I am done. *mouth open*. That same exhibition as I was jejely standing on my own, some dude just came up to me and in the usual aggressive naija tone (with a heavy sprinkling of Igbo accent), the following convo ensued:
Him: “Why are you posing?”
Me: “Umm, huh?”
Him: “I said why are you posing?”
Me: *speechless at this point*
Him: “I saw you, when you were walking around. Why were you walking around? Just flaunting yourself and showing off. Everyone is looking at you and you are enjoying it. Don’t lie, you know you were enjoying it. Stop walking around”
Me: *at this point, I was both giggling and stunned at the same time*. I managed to sputter out, “so how am I supposed to get out the building?”
Him: “If you are walking again, you should make sure that it is because you are exiting the building. I don’t want you to be making me salivate”
Me: “Umm, ok”
And my fellow bloggers, I swear to you that this was a real conversation.
In that same vein, ever since I have been here I have been to this bar (let’s call it Tango, lol) every Thursday and last week a bunch of guys happened to give me their numbers (because I have been telling them upfront that I am not giving my number out), so when I went last week, I got accosted by one of them straight up. “Why have you not called me?, You said you would call”, I genuinely had to leave so I told him just that and he said, “Just tell me, are you going to call me?”, I was like, We will see. Hmm...I don’t know if I will be showing face this week oh!

By the way, I have to say that Saipan has the best live band ever. I had an awesome time there and literally danced till my feet couldn’t take it anymore.

One last story, this weekend I went to a spa for a massage and facial but I only got a massage because there was no light to do the facial, lol(gen don pafuka). Anywhoos, ladies and gentlemen, I left feeling violated. This masseuse of a lady massaged everywhere on my body oh! I wasn’t even sure what was going on but I know she went a little over the line at my underwear border and apparently she saw no lines in my boob area because them puppies got massaged too more than required and if there are any pervs out there ,No! I did not enjoy it.

In other sad news, my laptop has refused to charge and people have suggested that it could be my charging point or my battery pack is all fried up. I also heard this morning that you are not supposed to charge it with the generator power, not exactly sure why but it’s pretty much my only source of power, so if it’s true then I guess I am screwed.

I miss Uchenna, why has she not blogged in a while :(

Well, that’s all I have for now, hope y’all had a lovely weekend. Boo! to Monday but Yay to being alive!

Thank you to those of you that have said you enjoy my frequent updates, I appreciate it :)

Friday, June 19, 2009

Comparison, Best Friendism & Naija Randomizms


Is there anyone out there in blogsville who has never compared themselves to someone else, please raise your hand? If you have never, then I hail you very plenty, cuz I know I have. As I get older, I realise that comparing yourself to others/someone else is a very dangerous and unhealthy thing. You might be sitting there all happy with yourself and you suddenly do that comparison thing and your brain decides,you are not pretty enough, you are not rich enough, you are not qualified enough etc etc. It's easier said than done but it takes a lot of conscious effort to stop one's self from doing it but I say it's well worth the effort. I mean a little dose of comparison never hurt, it could be motivating but if it gets to the point where you are defeated then it's time to address the issue and add it to your life's "work in progress" list.:)


In my twenty something years of living, if you ask me if I think a guy and a girl can be best friends with no strings, I don't think I can give you a clear answer. I really used to think it was possible, but from observations and thangs, I am leaning towards the opposite direction. At some point or the other, isn't it inevitable that one person will catch feelings?Is it true that a guy won't start a friendship with a chic they think is unattractive? If they weren't childhood friends, how did the friendship initiate?
Anywhoos, I do think that it's possible for a guy and a girl to be best friends BUT maybe after they have gone through a period of dealing with one person having feelings or maybe not. Either way sha, I still think it's the exception and not the norm. I won't lie, if a dude I liked/or in a relationship with has a female best friend, I would trust him oh(if not why would i be in a relationship) but I know I would be wary. Basically, I can deal with it but it wouldn't be a preference of mine. I dunno, I just think there is something uncomfortable about walking down the aisle to my husband and some chic in the congregation knows my husband better than I do. Maybe I am just tripping but what say ye, blogsville?


Aite people, I got offline reminders/threats that I haven't updated in a while. Biko, my people no vex, I have been having internet issues. so here we go:

* I just realised I had a bunch of stories so I deleted and will post later on.

I am really feeling that Jesse Jagz single. Not quite sure what it is called but I thnk it could be wetin dey. It wasn't at all the sound that I was expecting from him but all the same I like it.

I like the radio stations here and there are a lot. They are not as formatted as Yank stations and they play EVERYTHING. You could hear The Dream one minute and be listening to Taylor Swift the next.

I really would like to visit a neigboring african country while I am here but I can decide when or where to go. For now, it is leaning towards Ghana though.

I am a crack addict and I don't want to give up my crack. There I said it.
*before y'all call for an intervention - crack here = my crackberry.

Teehee, I have noticed that over here when you want to describe a man of interest Very rich is usually the first description.

I am eating rice almost everyday..I see all my hopes and dreams of losing weight in this country, slowly crumbling :(

My randomizms are kinda dry sha, but ah well I promise to have stories in my next post. Y'all be good and have an awesome weekend!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009


This post is a P.s of what I forgot on my last post.

How I forgot to share with you lovely people, I don't know but I got to achieve my most important goal in life(if you take that seriously, then I don't know what to tell you) which was - to meet M.I Abaga.*squeallllllss*. Yes oh, I met my group-er(what is it called if I am his groupie?).He probably has no recollection of the moment, but I DO and that's all that matters! lol( i need a shrink). Jesse Jagz was in the building, but I think my screaming blocked my brain because all of a sudden I totally blanked out on what he looked like.

The guys here are more forceful sha, ok let me call it persistent. And I can't complain because back in Yanks, I used to say they don't take action. I guess it goes hand in hand with the ambition that they have sha.

Omo, the way money flies out of my hand, e dey do me like wayo. See I am the type of person that checks their bank account 5 times a day and can account for every penny. I also never carry cash and always use my debit card. But here, I just have cash and it slips out too many damn times. Whether it's buying credit, buying lunch, buying lirru unnecessary stuff. I sat down with my brother last night and calculated how much I have spent in the week I have been here and nne I flabbergasted myself, lol. I need to watch my spending and remember that I don't get paid every 2 weeks, I have to wait till end of the month :(

Putting your phone on vibrate is not an option in this place oh. The office is constantly buzzing with ringtones even during meetings and it doesn't occur to anyone to have it on vibrate.

Wande Coal is the hottest thing right now. His album is hot and everywhere you go some song of his is on whether someone is singing it, on the radio or at the club. If you haven't listened to it then you need to go get the album "From Mushin to Mo' Hits". Best naija album so far this year, it's hard to believe it's his debut album.

Like Banky's song said, "Ain't no Party like a Lagos Party". Social Scene over here is bananas. People know how to have a good time and over here, wait for!*gasp*. They don't stand on the wall and whisper to each other hiss(okay maybe just a lirru). They also can drink here but they also don't let a lady bring out her wallet. Which is the way it's always been, our naija yankee men come to yankee and forget that back home they ALWAYS paid for everything. **I apologise to the feminists in the house, me I am an awoof liker*:D. As you can see, I went out last weekend and had a good time, danced till like 4am with good music all night through. My people, the gays are no longer in the closet in naija oh, they were dancing their pretty little selves out all night, working them poles too lol

Ok, think back to this post . Ok, I am in double hell. The girls here CAN DRESS. I don't even know if I am holding my own sef, at this point I am just covering my body. Whatever sha, I will just be observing and admiring.

I am slacking on my naija foods oh but I still get time. I haven't had suya, pounded yam or whatever else I am supposed to have. I have eaten gala like almost everyday and i had peppered snail..yummm!

That's all I remember for now sha. Please feel free to let me know when you all are tired of my naija updates so I can switch topic small and not bore you. Happy Tuesday y'all!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Personal Space

Am I the only one who treasures Personal Space? What makes it okay for you to just linger in my space? or see an interesting book cover in my bag and feel like you can dip your hand in my bag to see it? or hover over my desk and go through my papers?what if i had something personal on there. Ugh!!!

Hi guys, hope you guys are having a good week so far?

Umm liru update, I drove for the first time in my life in nigeria and it wasn't so bad. Granted it was just within the Ikoyi area to work but maybe I will gradually progress. My road rage came in very handy, when a bold negro thought he could cut me off, lol.

I am a pro at dressing up in the dark, woohoo!

I love being around my family.

Corporate bullshit is universal.

Gala rocks!

You must have real patience to be a domestic/lowly worker here, the way these people are spoken to is ridiculous.

I am racking my brain, ok that's it. Have a good one!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Just sharing, lol

Mosquitoes are EVIL. Evil I tell ya. I was officially welcomed yesterday. After being falsely welcomed with mosquito free, a/c'd sleep. Nepa decided that they won't give us light yesterday. I got bitten, like everywhere including my buttcheek. I could hear the buzzing everywhere around my ears. I kukuma just stayed awake, almost crying and wondering which kain mumu I was and prayed for morning to come. Tonight, I have sprayed my room and will spray myself with off.

I have concluded that most naija men have itchy balls. No for real. Everywhere I look, it's being grabbed, picked, cupped or scratched. Someone should look into this.

Someone mentioned me driving in Lag. Let's just say I laughed for a while.

It's so sad but I have to say CONCLUSIVELY that America has more morals than the new Nigeria. My mouth stays dropping open at the things I hear. It's one thing to want to be westernised but to lose your morals/culture as you do it, smh. na wa sha.

Traffic na die sha.

Buying Credit should have it's own budget. It hasn't clicked yet that I am not on contract and you cant be chatting away. You don't realise how money be slipping away to buy credit.

Blackberry officially and globally rocks!

That's all I can think of for now sha..toodles!:D

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

My Country, Nigeria

Ah! For those of you that may not know, Yours Truly had an idea to do a stint in Naija for a lirru while. My reasoning is that unlike others, I just don't want to move back cold turkey. I haven't lived here for like 10+years, I can't just assume I will move back and love it. So I will be here for some time and see what it's like. I am still embarassed by the fact that other countries like Ghana, Kenya, Togo etc have 24/7 light but a whole socalled giant of Africa doesn't, smh.

Anywhoo, I love my country but I can't help but shake my head at it and the people in it. I always dread that last leg flight to Nigeria when 90% of the people one the plane are Nigerians. My people are always so ..what's the word? uncouth? I don;t know but that's when the people are arguing about being "chanced" in line or yelling at officials for rules that are clear everywhere eg this lady defending her choice to have bottles of orange juice in her handluggage - "It's for the kids, they are thirsty" - like really? Everyone knows NO LIQUIDS ON FLIGHT.sigh. 

We get on the plane.(Why oh why do I never sit beside a cute, civilised person?:(). Gosh, I was beside a woman whose breath could kill and whose odor could resurrect someone from a coma. During the flight, she randomly burst into gospel songs, asked me to shut the window, constantly left her cup on my refreshment table because she didn't want to open up hers, kept waking me up when I didn't want refreshments and even after I said I didn't want any she still got the peanuts for me and threw it in my purse, like WTF?sigh

As we descended, I saw all the cramped houses, bad roads, trash everywhere but my heart smiled, "I am home". Anyways, we thank God for journey mercies and complete luggage(after they already tried to wayo me, when I spoke my yoruba, you shoulda seen his face. Anyways, I get to the customs line and Lord have mercy did I wish I could whip out my camera phone.  Do not wear a muscle shirt if you have a one gallon stomach, do not wear a wig that looks like you cut it out of a rug, do not wear a tank top if your taco meat chest hair is out to play..sigh.

It's been 2 days already but I have tricked my brain into thinking its in a Sauna, the generator sound has become akin to silence basically it's a normal sound now, you cannot drive a car without a horn in naija, it doesnt matter whether you need it or not just honk your horn. I have already been warned that I will be married off and I should be prepared for the "options", my dress is too short, too much cleavage showing etc etc. It's gonna be an interesting journey but I think I am ready for the ride. I start work tomorrow, that will be another dimension. I hope I am able to continue blogging and keep you guys updated. Have a lovely week!

PS - RIP to the passengers on the Airfrance flight.