Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Perspective

Perspective is defined as "A way of regarding situations, facts, etc., and judging their relative importance".

I think as we get older Perspective is an important thing to have. It helps see things from different points of views and saves us from one track/narrow mindedness. The beauty of it all is as human beings a lot of us things factor into things that become our Perspective such as life experiences, personality traits etc so everyone sees things differently, which isn't a bad thing because we don't have to agree but we can learn from it. To visualize what I am trying to say, try to think of that Bayer ad were a bunch of women were blindfolded and told to guess what they were touching and it varied from a rope, to a wall, to a pillar depending on what part of the rhino they were touching. Here's the link if you haven't seen it.

Why am I yapping about this? There are two reasons.

1) Today I was talking to my friend and telling her of a recent complaint my friend had about me. I guess this isn't the first time I had mentioned complaints that my friends had about me because she asked why I put up with it. Thinking about it, I don't know if the complaints are frequent but every now and then I do get into conversations where my transgressions are laid out by my friends. I digress, anyways my friend continued to say friendship should not be that hard and if it were her she would walk away. I've thought about this in the past and my conclusion was what I told my friend, for me putting things in perspective ie the big picture. To me, I don't expect perfect relationships I think there are ups and downs within reason. The same way my friends put up with my imperfections, I am willing to reciprocate. Over the years, I have learned about my oldest friends, i don't get upset about the little things I used to expect, it's the big picture that matters to me e.g in the time that I was unemployed, my friend who is not a caller or keep in toucher was the one who housed me and fed me, my lirru panda who I (used to) butt heads with often, was a managing student but sent me lirru pocket money in a timely manner. These are the things I choose to remember and that I put in perspective when I wonder why I bother.

2) We humans tend to waste no time in feeling sorry for ourselves and that cliche term that no matter how bad things are, there is always someone worse is so true. A few weeks ago, my company sponsored the Special Olympics and I was privileged to watch the opening ceremony and that left a huge impact on me. Seeing these kids who ALL had some form of mental disability being so happy and just enjoying life, made me wonder what I complained about. Some of these kids will never fully be able to have perfect speech, some will never have functioning motor skills and yet I want to complain. I watched Jennifer Hudson's "Behind the Music" yesterday and they recounted the whole tragedy of the murder of her mother, brother and nephew. Yes she has the fame and money but putting things in perspective, that was a terrible thing that happened and most of us are in a position (i think) to say that we have not experienced that. We should be brought back to earth and be thankful for the little blessings that we have.

Perspective gives us sight where our selfishness blinds us.

P.S - Due to MPB's comment, I am editing to add that in no way do I mean this as a reprimand, sermon or to imply that I am perfect and I am always "perspective-y". Not at all, I lose sight of things like everyone else and I believe everyone is allowed to have down moments and to whine and complain as much as they want, I only wanted to use it as a reminder that in those moments at a certain point we can always turn to the little things we can be grateful for to help lift our mood. It doesn't always work but it's worth a try.

Hope I made sense to you guys, feel free to share your thoughts and have a blessed remainder of the week :)

Sunday, June 27, 2010

FIFA Fudge-Up

Ah, it's been an interesting Sunday. I went to church super early so I could watch the England/Germany match. chei! see disgrace. Twas the first FIFA yeye call of the day when England scored a very clear goal but noooo, mr referee and assistant referee did not see and since playback is not allowed na so dem lose. Enter Argentina and Mexico and Argentina scores a very offside goal but nooooo, mr referee and assistant referee didn't see, so na so dem give them goal. Now granted that the teams that eventually won were clearly the better team, still it was super frustrating as a viewer not to talk of if you are a player. That lead that's given to a team with a goal, messes with morale and psyche men. Uggh, just wanted to express my frustration, that's the nature of the game.

I am doing everything but what I should be doing, which is my homework. I have cooked, watched tv and now currently watching Bill Maher's docu-movie on religion called "Religulous", it's hilarious. It's amazing how people who don't believe usually have stronger arguments and are so sure of what they say, they even know the material more than believers gan. lol.

Toodles mi blogelettes, back to being unserious, I shall be tuning in to the BET red carpet soon. Have a lovely rest of the weekend.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. Hope everyone had a good week. I had a decent week thankfully but I am exhausted, mentally and physically. Been having headaches all week and I dream of a week long vacation with no school and no work.If wishes were horses, eh? I had a fun weekend in Atlanta, it felt good to have fun and get some male attention, albeit from questionable men(for those who think I have set back the female movement - bite me) but I am back to reality. Today marks a year since MJ died, how time flies sha. This time last year, I had just returned from my Thursday night ritual of going to Swe Bar (in Naija) when I heard he had passed away.Do you remember where you were? Let's random.

Is it better to wish for peace of mind or self confidence?

It was interesting how on Father's day, people had these kind words extolling their dads and I felt nothing. It's like there is this deep emotion that can be seen through their words and knowing that there is something that deep that you are missing out on but can't fathom and will probably never experience, is interesting. Can you miss something you never had?

On the real, how does God determine our various paths in life?

So, I found out that my job gives us 6 free therapy sessions. Deep down, I feel I should see one but I can't bring myself to do it.

I finally found a church I like and registered to become a member. Someone called to welcome me and suggested I participate in the Singles Ministry. I usually shy away from that but maybe I should give it a try?

Apparently, I am the only nigerian girl that hadn't heard of Felvin for menstrual cramps. Unfortunately, they don't work for me :(

Am I the only one who is not feeling that Hol Yuh song by Egyptian and Nikki Minaj?

Obafemi Martins is a sexy name.

Ah, cellulite free girls, how lucky are thou.

There has never been a time in my history, where I wash my car and it doesn't rain, which is why I hesitate to do so. After months, I decide to wash my car yesterday and what happens today? Yup, it rained. Uncanny, I tell ya.

I don tire for the hair talk but me I like my weaves. Its easier for me and I feel better with it in. uh oh, someone call the activists - bite me!

Hard Times of Rj Berger is a show on mtv. Was watching it the other day and this chic was trynna say how she was on her period and said: There is a vampire buffet going on in my panties. I laughed so hard.

It was inevitable, but my Lady Gaga obsession is slowly but surely waning. She is beginning to get out of her hand. She should sha not overdose till after my concert sha.

I still have a fear of reversing. I am always so sure I am going to hit something.

It's annoying when people are constantly clearing their throat. Ugh!

Everyone is giving Tranny Cyrus a hard time for her revealing outfits as if by now they don't know the drill. "i'm saving myself for marriage", "I'm grounded" then the clothes start getting smaller and they say it's part of maturing and getting older. someone made a good point, why does overt sexuality/sexy dressing indicate maturity?hissssssss.

Is it just me that feels a twinge when I see lap band surgery peeps who are now smaller than those of us that are not overweight but could stand to lose a few pounds. So we slave and watch what we eat while they snip, snip, cut and voila - I'm hot.

One of my mottos in life is to never say never.

If I am going through something, I am usually fine until I hear a song that expresses what I am feeling and there's a chance I could lose it.

PRAYER REQUEST: For all those who travel frequently. For save travels and protection. AMEN.

Her album isn't selling so well but you have to have respect for this woman's pipes. Me, I am just a fan of hers and I like everything she has put out so far. I love this song, it's a sad song but I feel it. It's beautiful.Oh and Sia(Breathe me) wrote, produced and sang background vocals.



Christina Aguilera - You lost me
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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Worry + Patriotism

So part of my monthly plans (make that life plan) is to learn how to worry less. Besides a certain Mgbeks friend of mine, I think most of my friends and the people I know are worry-ers. We worry about different things, ranging from small to big. As I was reading my current love interest - that would be the book EAT.PRAY.LOVE. There is a segment where she is having difficulty meditating because her mind keeps wandering off (I have a problem with this too, which is why I DETEST yoga, I almost want to punch someone when I am done, I can't clear my mind). Anyways, a friend of hers told her straight up that she was a control freak and she was surprised because she wasn't like the usual definition of a control freak. He explained further how she was so used to having plans and getting what she wants in terms of those plans that when it doesn't go her way she freaks out. You know how you hear things 100s of times and it just takes that one moment to sink in? This sunk in for me, seriously it's quite idiotic and silly to worry about things that you don't have control over. The same way you have no control over whether you wake up in the morning or not is the same way you can plan till forever and it'll change in an instant. So why worry or be anxious? Do your part, cast your fears, burdens and everything to HIM and you will be surprised how things work out. Infact, think back on your life and I am sure you can think of moments where you were just stuck or in a bind and somehow or the other you got through it. Your ways are not HIS ways, don't try to understand, just revel in his Assurance.


On the flip side, by now we all know Naija was kicked out the World Cup. A friend of mine has been saying how Nigerians are always banking on hope with no hard work. He made his point by saying even before today's match our hope was that we would beat Korea then Argentina will beat Greece then we will move forward, basically some long tins, why can't we just win with straight line? Sigh, this is the point where million why questions about Naija came up. He then asked, everyone says they are proudly Nigerian, what exactly are you proud of? I won't lie, I blanked. I could think of a million things but it would have sounded hypocritical.
Our music - sounds so fluffy
Our culture - seeing as I pick and choose which one works and its the same culture that treats women as second class citizens and allows a woman to be battered.
Our progress - what progress though? Yes there is opportunity but its still everyman for themself, if you don't move back rich, there's no "Nigerian Dream" that will lift you from yonder.
Our resilience? - isn't everyone resilient at some point.

Sha sha, I know I am proudly Nigerian but I am not exactly sure why, so my fellow bloggers, help me out. Why are you proudly Nigerian?

Have a lovely week ahead.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Friday Randoms

Man, you guys are lucky I like you because as I lie here I am bone tired but I decided to just random now or else it won't get done. Who watched the naija match? chei, I didn't get to watch it because I was Indiana bound and was on a plane but it seems I did myself a favor, see disgrace.Tufia! I want to thank everyone who commented on my previous post - Favored/Unfavored. I didn't quite get as many responses as I hoped but the ones I got still made me think so thank you. Since a certain somebody said my random friday posts is class, make i give una homework - Please, see the HBO documentary - Saving Africa's Witch Children - it's based in Nigeria and so sad.It reminds me to be thankful. One of the "clues" they mentioned in the movie is when a baby cries so much, and I was a cry baby and my grandma chose to "save" me and I have 2 razor blade scars on either side of my face to show for it, if I was in an environment like these kids Lord know what would have happened. Second - Go read Eat.Pray.Love - I LOVE this book, I doubt I will see the movie. I feel its too sacred to be a movie. crap! my intro is hella long. humph lets random:

I wonder how much radio dj's earn. Especially the ones that do weather or do morning shows for 4 hours.

I am a little envious of people who repent after "enjoying" life. I feel they got the best of both lives. They enjoy all the worldly things then give that up to enjoy Christ's presence ( does that make sense?)

MI's "forever" has a line that says "I have been waiting my whole life...". If you meet the love of your life at 21 can you technically say "I waited my whole life for you"

So I have only been to one wedding in Naija my whole life. My cousin's in 2007. Weird. ( oh i flowergirled when i was 5)

Why do people get grossed out at the thought of their parents doing the nasty?

It is never really easy to hear the truth about yourself especially when it's ugly. I forget what i was watching where they said, "people usually lie to protect people but it's the opposite, if you really want to fuck somebody up, tell them the truth"

I thought it was cute when Kendra and hubby thanked her assistant by having him pick any vacation spot in the world, all paid for and he chose Indiana. Kinda stupid but still cute.

This week my guy friend said: Never waste your time wondering why a guy didn't want you instead try to figure out how to move on - It stuck.

Omg, at my gym the girl that checked people in was OVERWEIGHT. Like the kind where you can lift the tummy up and drop it. How did she have the balls to apply?

Speaking of gym, I hate walking by personal trainers. I always feel they are saying look at that ass jiggle. I bet I could do something about that and whip her into shape.

World Cup of Beer competition being done categorized like the world cup groups. Guinness was Naija's beer ( I don't know how Ghana got Star). DId you know more guiness is sold in Naija than Ireland? http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?id=5274173

If wishes were horses, David Tutera will plan my wedding like his TV show. I don't have to have control over anything.

Everyone claims they are shy.

You know how we say celebrities are overexposed. With the event of technology and social media, is it possible for us regular people to be overexposed too?

Wedding dresses are as forgiving as trad dresses.

Did anyone notice in Sex and the City (part 1), the bridesmaids dresses were red, blue and black. When she finally got married to BIG at the courthouse, anyone notice the girls had the same color on?

WHo knew teeth whitening at the dentist was $750

Whenever someone is being stupid or silly or generally embarassing on a reality show, chances are they are from TX.

nice read - http://kisschanel.com/love-will-find-you/

PRAYER REQUEST: For all those who are wrongfully in jail, that the Lord will find a way for them to prove their innocence and gain their freedom back. AMEN

Ok I am too tired to put any music, hum to yourself. Tomorrow I shall carry my nyansh to Atlanta and rediscover my partying mojo. Chei, who will do my homework oh! Have a lovely weekend, my little blogelettes.

PS Na wah oh, see as the Lakers just came from behind. Gnite.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Favored/Unfavored

So my post was inspired by an old friend of mine who even though we don't talk often over the phone, we tend to catch up online every now and then and have these "make your brain cells" think situation. lol you know yourself. Here is what she asked:


do you think fate/destiny plays a part in our lives? do you think we do, our state of mind, speech, thoughts..play a significant part in our lives? - how helpless do you think most people feel about their future plans, goals, aspirations?

Of course, my first answer was "Uggh, I've pondered that a lot but I have no idea", only because it seems as I get older, everything I think that is, really isn't. But days passed and ponder more I did and here are my scrambled thoughts (as usual).

So ask me some time ago and I always used to (half)jokingly say that at least 85% of my friends were highly favored. I said this because I felt like things came easy for them. It was like as long as they spoke something in the air, it came to fruition, meanwhile I had been speaking just for one thing for like six years and zilch. Anyways as I get older and add to my knowledge, I realise that I was wrong, very wrong. I remember when I was fervently looking for a job that matched my qualifications, I heard a lot of things. I remember once when someone was trying to "console" me and I asked what they would do if they were in my position and the answer I got was they don't think they would be in that position because they would have done everything possible and thought everything through to ensure some form of job security. I am really sure the person didn't mean it in a bad way, but it made me feel like it might seem like I wasn't searching or working hard enough to secure this job I thought I deserved.


To answer my friends's questions, yes I believe faith and destiny play a part in our lives. As a christian, I believe our lives are already mapped out, I don't think we create our destiny, thsi is not to say we just sit back and watch oh!, no we were given brains to use so we have to play our own part. I don't think positive/negative thinking leads to positive/negative things happening to you in your life. I do think that positive thinking is a better option because it helps you get through tough times better and in general its just a way better option than being negative.I think most people are helpless about their future plans but I could be wrong because you hear these people on TV who say, "I knew what I wanted and I worked hard to get there". This is where the thing about favor comes in. For example, two people with good voices(and all other things of equal amount) go audition for a record deal and one of them gets it. Some might call that favor, I believe it just wasn't their destiny to get it at that time. Infact the more I think about it, I don't know how I feel about the word favor, it implies being better than another and the way I see it we are all God's children (both believers and unbelievers) and He loves us all equally. My friend and I also talked about generational curses and I am still on the fence about that because the God I serve doesn't seem unfair to punish sons for the sins of their father *cue in old testament*

In conclusion sha I do not believe that anyone is unfavored, I believe we are all favored, some things do just come easier to some people and that's only because our lives are different and our paths are different, our job is to roll with the punches and try to learn lessons. This weekend I watched two documentaries Saving Africa's Witch Children - PLEASE, I beg everyone to watch, it's on HBO and is focused on children in Akwa Ibom states, if you think you are not favored please tell me if you have ever had a 3inch nail hammered into your head so they can get a confession from you because a "pastor" randomly said you are a witch. The second was The Lazarus Effect focused on people with HIV who have lost siblings and children to this disease and I know I am deviating but I just want to put things in perspective and the next time any of us feel like we are "not favored", we should remember to put things in perspective, like mommy always says, we don't know the whole story for everyone. A friend of mine sent an email today: Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what u have. "Life isnt a matter of milestones but of moments" (Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy)! Start laughing now! Start dancing now!.

Have a lovely week mi blog familia and please, please, please leave your very detailed opinions on whatever made sense to you from my ramblings.

PS This is my opinion as of right now and is subject to change :D

Friday, June 11, 2010

Friday Randoms

Yes, Yes I saw Neefemi's blog and I was jealous so I tried to get a new template too but she already chose the one I would have chosen:(. Boo! Neefemi. I ended up with this one because I figured it might help in cheering me up and also help on me worrying less, you know running in the fields and being carefree but err negative, it's actually annoying me so I will be changing this soon. The week was good up until today but whatever, the best friend passed her Step 3 exams woohooo!! Thats an exam these med school peeps have to take and we were kinda worried as to whether she'd pass or not(well she projected her worry to me, she's a brainiac). World Cup fever people,Naija.Saturday.9am.ESPN2. Now, randoms.

I am amused by the fact that Volkswagen makes a car called Volkswagen Rabbit. teehee.

It's annoying when you pay good money to do your hair and you end up hating it.

I was watching oprah and all these yeye people were saying: Do what you love, find a way to get paid for it. WHat if you know what you love but what you love is not useful, then what? will my bills magically disappear?

And then of course I stumbled on this quote: Successful people do not wait for opportunities that will make them successful. Rather, they create opportunities for themselves that take them to their goal and make them successful.....LOUD HISSS ( i am quite pissy today aren't i?)

I resent taking summer school.

read this somewhere: Is someone still beautiful if noone thinks they are?

I wonder if you can be a doctor and be a true christian in every sense of the word, there are so many conflicting decisions..i think.

Ah, married men. Why do they love me?

So in today's eventhoughwearethesameagebecauseiammarriediknowbetter news, my friend tried to hook me up with her friend who is 36. So I jokingly said "old man" and she said, "Is it a 30 yr old you want? You need to come down let me school you". The end.

No matter how much a woman would like to think that she thinks/acts like a man and is detached. A woman will always be a woman.

I confess that sometimes when people say a prayer that I really believe in and I want to say a loud Amen,I always want to say it jokingly with a h (a la yoruba style) but then I see that it almost sounds like hymen so I shut up. (Yes all this happens in a split second)

Man, I am having a really hard time with concentration on anything.

I feel bad that I haven't been following the BP spill.

Eating right is waaaaay much harder than willing yourself to workout.

People think Ross is exhausting, I think Express is exhausting. I am still always shocked at the prices.

Having a circle of friends who are friends also or know each other is rather interesting.

Why do men wear boxers sef, does it hold anything?

I find humility very endearing. Our generation has somehow managed to turn arrogance+keeping it real into "confidence".

Lol, Lucid L has made me paranoid about the length of my randoms so I will stop here to be safe :p

PRAYER REQUEST: For all those who are still healing from and going through a nasty divorce. May God grant them the strength to get through it and to move on from it. Amen.

His voice is almost unrecognizable but I guessed that it was him and I like this song, he is such a hottie too.

Enrigue Iglesias ft Pitbull - I like it

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Friday, June 4, 2010

Friday Randoms

Hi guys, happy first friday of the month to you. I always say it's impossible to be in a bad mood on a friday, the weekend is always welcome. So a few posts back, I asked for some dinner ideas and it just hit me that I did not thank you guys for your suggestions. I apologize. Thank you, thank you so much to those that gave suggestions they were very helpful. I took the time out and actually voted on the blogger awards site, I figured a bunch of people took their time out to set it up so if you get the chance go browse through, take a few seconds and vote for your favorites. Lucid, i don't care how long my randoms end up today, I dare you (and anyone else) to comment on every single one lol. Let's go:

I have noticed that on tv shows when pregnant women's water break and they go into "unexpected labor", they never show the part where they take off their underwear, they just give birth and the baby miraculously slips out through the underwear too.

In the last week we lost 3 celebs - RIP Gary Coleman, Dennis Hopper and Rue McLahan(sp?)

WHy are most policemen/security guards fat?

I am like spooked out by the blackberry code thingie, it's all so anti-christ-y. I was reading an industry magazine and I saw it as a type of ad now, where you can just scan it on your phone and the other day some creative ad guy came to pitch some ideas at work and he brought up some code thingie where you scan and it takes you straight to a website and all. Spooky!

What is the purpose of a broken heart? People say that it makes you appreciate when you finally meet your person but aren't there people who still appreciate their person but have never experienced heart break?

Why are young children wearing shirts with inappropriate words? I doubt I would let my child wear some of these shirts I saw like - "I drum naked". "Take your shirt off".

It is a foreign concept to me that girls would ask guys( significant other or not) to go watch sex and the city 2 with them. I would never ask a guy to go watch it with me.

This life. It's funny how in school the international students would worry about gathering up money to pay fees and envy the residents that could get loans. Fast forward years and the international student is debt free, while resident is racked with debt. As you can tell, I took a peak at my student loans and my monthly plan to laugh more suddenly dropped. Debt bothers me, it really just does.

I really need to learn to worry less.

Do gay partners ever date in separate houses/apts or do they always live together?

I know horoscopes aren't real but every now and then they are so spot on it's crazy. There has to be some teeny truth to them, no?

I don't care what anyone says Will.I.Am is a cutie.

I really liked this blogpost - http://mwajimal.blogspot.com/2010/05/too-messed-up-for-love.html

I'm learning how to just say fine when I am asked how I am.

Is it weird that I think married women shouldn't be in a bridal train?

Airlines are a frigging ripoff this summer. sheesh!

So, I do not wear sunglasses. Isn't that weird? It just feels like a rainy day when I wear one and I think I can't see lol.

I feel like a fraud in school. There are people there who actually are interested in learning and try to ask all these deep questions. I confess I am there to just pass my exams and graduate. Sue me.

Oh the evil thoughts we humans have. Or is it just me?

I am definitely going to regret not taking pictures to record my memories.

PRAYER REQUEST: For all those going through a divorce or who have not gotten through a divorce and feel like failures, that God grants them comfort and help them through the rough patch. AMEN.

This week's song is originally by Shirley Bassey but I think Jordin Sparks killed it with her version on American Idol years back.

Jordin Sparks - I who have nothing
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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Monthly Plans

..as inspired by Poet Blogoratti.


1) Worry Less
2) Keep up with working out
3) Make better food choices and snack less
4) Do the best I can at work
5) Be more consistent with my devotional/Bible reading
6) Find people to do things with? Ok not sure about that, find more things to do that's outside the confines of my walls
7) Be more positive
8) Have more confidence
9) Laugh more
10)Believe that everything will be okay

I thank God that we are able to see another month. Have a lovely month ahead and stay blessed.