Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Once upon a date

I don't know about y'all but I was just celebrating the beginning of Spring, but somehow in the last few days, the gods vexed and now its cold even in Texas. Had to burst out the turtlenecks and boots again (speaking of boots, I have these pair of knee highs that always make me feel sexy and on top of the world, but I digress). Today it's all rainy and dark and gloomy and all that jazz. This girl is not happy at all. I want my sun and heat back! In my ever cluttered brain of non stop thoughts, the other day I pulled out a memory of a date I went on, back when I was young and actually went on dates. It always makes me laugh so I thought I'd share.

So, in my old apartment complex I'm checking my mail and this black dude comes by to check his mail also. I could feel him staring but I thought nothing of it - I promise I say this with 95% humility, African American men love me, so I am accustomed to them staring and I just ignore them unless they say something. Well this one said something, it's been a while so I can't remember it all, besides being tall, he wasn't my spec but I said yes to dinner anyways. We agreed to meet at a spot within the complex and I think I had spoken to him on the phone right before I headed out my apartment. So I am standing there and a car was driving up to me with a black man in it, I gave a half smile in recognition but he drove right past me but then reversed. I said hi and jumped in the car, the guy said hi back and was smiling. I said so where are we headed and he looked puzzled and said you tell me. Hmmm, something wasn't right, I think I'd remember if the guy had dreads or would I?. Then I realized that I had no clue what the dude who was taking me out to dinner ( lets call him Kevin. I don't even remember his real name) looked like, but it definitely wasn't whoever I was in the car with at this moment. I had totally forgotten! I quickly apologized and hopped out the car.

Kevin eventually drove up and yea I definitely didn't remember him at all and umm I must have been on cough syrup when I agreed to dinner cuz for one he looked waaay older, I'll leave the other reasons alone. No yawa, let's go na. He took me to On the Border, a mexican restaurant and he did most of the talking, I don't remember any of it now but it wasn't riveting convo. I think he asked questions about Nigeria or something, honestly I don't remember. At the end of dinner, when it was time to pay he pulled out 2 gift cards and instructed the waitress on how much to charge on each one. Till date, I still don't know if there is anything wrong with that but I'd be lying if I said I was not a bit taken aback. I think he suggested going somewhere afterwards but I was just ready to get home at this point. On the way home, I am not even sure how donuts came up and he said "it reminds me of breakfast they used to give us when I was in jail". I was like say wha? and he was like "oh yea, I was in jail for a little bit, I couldn't pay my bond....". Now he said this so casually like it was normal to have gone to jail and began to regal me with tales from jail like their routine, his chores etc till I got home.

Let's just say that was the last time I saw Kevin. I was always on the lookout whenever I checked my mail but I think he moved out. He did give me a call on Christmas day later in the year because he remembered my family wasn't in the country and just wanted to make sure I was ok, which was nice of him, but that was it. I don't know why I remembered this but it still makes me chuckle. Hope everyone has a good rest of the week. Happy Hump Day!

PS Nice Anon - osiso. Chiata to the world jo. nonsense.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Friday Randoms

Howdy ho people. How long has it been? I do not apologize for my absence because it looks like everyone is on hiatus too. I’ve been a bit busy sha, classes started, bit more work to do and twitter has stolen my random thoughts. I’ve generally been okay, but in all honesty I am tired of going to work. I, by no means hate my job actually but just the daily grind of waking up, getting ready etc. I get to work and I’m faffing like a mofocky doing everything but work, yet counting down to 5pm. I mean, I do some work and I meet my deadlines but what does it mean if all I am thinking of is getting off work and just chilling. I was telling my friend this and she told me to go get a sugar daddy. I told her I hate depending on people and she pretty much told me I was screwed. Lol, don’t mind me jare, I think I am just feening for a vacay, haven’t traveled in a while and I think I am ready for a trip. Let’s random, shall we?

I realize that I fuss over my friends and loved ones a lot but I hate being fussed over. Contradictory much?

Let me tell you, no matter how long you been threading and/or waxing, that ish still hurts. Everytime.

My friend sent me a text as he watched Jennifer Hudson walk down the Oscar red carpet: “As long as I have a face Jhud will always have a place to sit on”. See wahala. Me I think he was just bedazzled by her boobs that were out to play, cuz as good as she looks now, I still don’t see Jhud and think – hot. But I’m a girl.

My girl just got married recently and I was a bridemaid. As is customary, I carried my Ankara to go get sewn and see me see wahala. This lady won’t adjust it as I requested, her reason? “My waist too small and hip and thigh too big” (she is Chinese). I wanted to scream. I went to alter my bridesmaid dress at a DIFFERENT tailor. They messed it up and as I am trying to get her to do what I want and she tells me: “I not try to tell you about your body, but your waist small and hip is big”. I kid you not, it was all I could do to not scream. I spend too much money on alterations for this mess #endrant

It irritates me when you send an evite with information and yet on the day of the event, you get bombarded with calls and texts asking for the same information on the evite.

I don’t think I believe Karma exists

…and that’s the way the cookie crumbles

Man, you hear things everyday but relationships take work men. It’s funny how everyone knows communication is a very key ingredient and sometimes it’s just the hardest thing to do.

I think it would be a hella sucky situation if you finally found your spouse and they end up dying young. I’d be so pissed.

Why do people ask their s.o, how many people they’ve been with? I’ve just never understood that line of thinking. I’d answer if I was asked but I’d never ask.

You know how some people say they don’t envy those people whose parents paid their fees in school because they’ve built character working for their school fees etc etc. I call a big ole pile of b.s on that. I would totally trade working numerous jobs and getting student loans for my parents paying my fees. I know many a people whose parents paid their fees and they turned out just fine to me. Character ko? Hiss.

I was watching my choir master at church, and you know those hand gestures they make “directing” the singers. Do they really mean anything? Do they pay attention to his hands?

I wonder if pregnancy craving is correlated to your location. For example, will a woman in naija crave jello or will a woman in yankee crave gala?

My friend asked me if I ever wondered what my life would be like if I didn’t have a large ass. I said yes.

You know what’s weird. You know those girls you saw naked in boarding school with weird bits eg inverted nipples, extra long labia, mango boobs etc etc. Years later and you guys meet at some random function, they are looking all fly but you know what’s under the flyness. No? just me? Whatever.

Twitter is fascinating. Especially Nigerians on twitter. It has taught me that many Nigerians are blessed and or favored. Oh wait, I forgot the smiley face - :). I see that from how many people almost everyday, it's like we have to be reminded. Maybe it’s positive reaffirmation sha, so let me shut up.

I am weird. I like most stuff plain. I don’t like nuts in my salad or chocolate. I don’t like all that extra stuff in my icecream and unless it’s some kind of meat I don’t like extras in my soup. Heck I don’t like stockfish.

I am baffled at how there are some people my age who don’t work by choice.

I’ve never really been concerned by age, but I have to admit hearing people say they graduated high/secondary school in say like 2004 gives me a bit of a pang.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. Today's video is an unofficial video a friend showed me. I think its pretty cool with a twist.

BLAME GAME from yonie.ethiopian.love on Vimeo.


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Men speak, Women speak..or do they?

What would be the best course of action?…Do you talk about something that bothers/affects you and is important to you or do you Not talk about it because your partner doesn't quite see it the same way and there is a tendency it’ll make them feel like they are being accused of not doing enough?” Sounds like a lose-lose situation to me, No?

The last time I tried to blog, I was trying to blog about a statement a friend had made about women's inability to communicate what they want. As I tried to write it out with the very many different scenarios, it got complicated (go figure) that I just abandoned, don't even think I saved the draft sef. Anyhue, I peeped the above from RepOne's blog so I figured I'll give it another go without thinking too much about it.

The above scenario is just one of many examples where a woman decides to take the high road and not communicate what they are thinking/feeling. Noone wants to be the one that cuts their partner down. Let's use the example of your partner not pleasing you in bed. I for one feel you should be able to say something but there are many others who feel silence is better. They say they don't want to make him feel like he is inadequate or it'll be a blow to his ego.

Look around you and I am sure you will find a million and one articles that mention how irrational/overemotional/sensitive women are. It's like some agreed creed and it flows over sometimes(I said sometimes). You say something and it's either you are pms'ing or you are overreacting or you are being sensitive. That gets annoying and can lead to someone second guessing whatever it is they want to say and wondering if they are over reacting or not. By the time you've mulled it over so many times, you're just over it and you'd rather not talk about it anymore.

Let's look at a scenario, where a guy is feeling a girl and vice versa. They aren't dating officially but are "talking" (whatever that means). Even though the general consensus is "you're free to date anyone you want", often times much like a friends with benefits situation, the girl catches feelings and it becomes murky. So while dude feels hey, she knows where I stand and maybe does something that the chic is not happy about. It's difficult for the girl to say what she really wants or is not happy about because she supposedly knew what she was getting into and can't act all possessive. On the flip, she could say she wants more but in most cases would rather be in her "arranged" situation than speak her mind.

Girl and Guy have been flirting. Girl is feeling Guy but just won't come right out and say it but shows jealous streaks when she sees Guy flirting with other girls. That's a case by case basis because some girls are okay telling a dude straight up and some feel if he really was feeling me he would say something. In this case, Girl not communicating could be a fear of rejection or shyness.

The last scenario I would get in is one I saw on Twitter:
Girl:I don't think its working out, I think we should break up
Boy: Ok fine
Girl: Why can't you fight for me?

This situation na long ting. See women are more nurturing that's why when you hear a convo between two women and one asks how are you? the other says fine, the other lady will say "you sure you are okay, you seem a bit down". For most guys, its a fly buy convo, "wassup", "i'M good" "cool". So when a girl says something like the above, it's because she is unhappy with her situation and instead of leaving this situation, still wants to try even though it's a dead end and is hoping the guy would probe some more and by him doing that means he really likes her (that was tedious to type sha). Let me stop rambling. Quite frankly, it's more the exception to find a woman that is straight up direct when it comes to matters of the heart. It would make sense for her to just flat out say what it is the problem is but I'd like to believe she should have mentioned it before coming to a let's break up solution.

In general, I just feel men and women reason differently and communication is no different. As much as men may say, we don't say what we want, guys are guilty of this also especially when they shut down. When you have expressed dissatisfaction over a certain situation and you've told your s.o over and over, it just gets to a point where you just keep quiet. When it feels like there's a wall and the guy decides to stick to his guns, there's no point trying, it's usually easier to keep mum. Or when a guy chooses to lead a woman on instead of being upfront about his intentions that counts as a man not expressing what he wants (although my friend - The Counselor- says a woman should take responsibility and have the "what are we doing?" convo if he doesn't say anything) I do think another reason is when a woman is unsure. At the point where a woman is unsure of where she stands with a man, I think it makes it difficult for a woman to express herself. Oh yea, add overthinking to the mix.

Ok, disjointed much? I am shutting my laptop off now. I'd like to hear what you think

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Ash Wednesday

I know it's been a while since I have flapped my gums on here. I really haven't had anything to say and when I did have a certain blog topic suggested to me, I started on it and it was too much work jare, so I fashied. Anyhue, like it does every year lent just snuck up on me sha (where on earth is the year rushing too?). Today is Ash Wednesday as you may know, and in the likelihood you live under a rock, Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. Lent is a catholic tradition that lasts for 40 days and is usually a time of reflection and repentance. As part of the observance, catholics usually give up meat on Ash Wednesday and every Friday and in addition to that give up something during the season as some kind of fast.

Lately, it seems everyone catholic or not seems to want to "give up" something for lent, almost as if it's the in thing to do. I wonder if most people realize that you are supposed to give up something that is hindering you from growing in your spiritual walk or if you are denying yourself something it is in addition to trying to progress in your spiritual life. The one that irks me is when people give up stuff as some kind of crash diet but hey na dem sabi. Anyways, for anyone observing, hope you get something out of it and make some progress spiritually. It never hurts to make some progress in that area, does it?

In other random news, the first day of my last class ever in grad school starts tomorrow. 4 hours of class (shoot me now!)but I am excited that it's almost over. This weekend is going to be a blast ( I hope). My girl is getting married and most of our friend from past and present are going to be in town. It's going to be fun hanging out, catching up and yes! dancing! Mighty Mike is going to DJ and he is awesome, looking forward to that the most. Aiite, have a wonderful weekend and hope my blog mojo returns.

PS If you are reading this - Hi Nice Anon, you are missed.