Friday, May 30, 2014

Songs I am currently feeling

Howdy guys, it's about that time again to share some songs I am feeling. A lot of you seemed to like the Sam Smith song I posted in my last randoms. You can check out this post on him for other songs to check out till his album comes out. Ok here are the songs (that I can remember at this moment)

Can you tell with this song that she wrote "Diamonds"? Also, on the flip couldn't you see Rihanna totally doing this song?

Ok these are all I can remember right now. I am sure there's a lot I have left out. Hope you are able to find at least one song you like. Enjoy!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Tales from Naij - Part 2

My stress level was starting to become entirely too high. Other than dragging myself to work, I would just sit in my room and think about how unhappy I was…in every aspect of my life. I don’t think I’ve ever been this broke before. I mean I had money to get by but I didn’t really…if that makes any sense. My boyfriend wasn’t that “comfortable” so it’s not like I could really get money from him. I was just tired of everything. One night, Nicole called me and was like there’s someone she wants me to meet and she’s on her way over with him in a few minutes so I should look sexy. I wasn’t really in the mood, but I was like whatever. I didn’t really dress sexy. I had a maxi dress on and I didn’t bother brushing my hair. Few minutes later they came and I went outside to meet them. He was this older man, maybe mid 50's. We chatted for a bit outside. There was just something about him that seemed so weird…maybe cos he was around my dad’s age. He gave me some money for a cab to come see him at his hotel the next day, as he was in town for a few days. After they left, Nicole called me and was like I shouldn’t mess this up cos he has A LOT of money. He had just won some political seat in house of assembly but was dealing with some issues, had houses all over, good connections, etc etc. She said he said he liked me and that he sensed I needed to be “rescued” or helped in some way (perhaps cos I didn’t brush my hair?).  It all sounded good but having to deal with what came with all that was all I could think of.

I went to see him the next day. I purposely went in the afternoon and said I was going to my parents’ house for the weekend just so I’d have an excuse to leave early. We sat and talked in his room and he repeatedly kept telling me how he wanted to take care of me as he kissed my neck and rubbed up on my arm. I guess he could tell I was very tensed and uncomfortable so he thought he would help by giving me a massage. I kept moving around and playing on my phone to avoid all the touchy feeliness going on. I told him about myself and he said he would help me and would send me a ticket to come to his state to see him. I was like ok cool, in my mind I was like umm negative. He wanted me to stay with him for the night, but I had my excuse ready and ran up out of there. Nothing happened that day, didn’t get any money, but we talked enough to each other for him to ask for my account number before I left, which I didn’t really expect him to use since I didn’t put out.

He called me almost everyday till he left town. Always wanting to see me or asking how I was. I always gave an excuse that I was at my dad’s house or sick. Talking to him reminded me of talking to my dad. He was just so fatherly and it just made me feel very weird when he’d try to talk sexually. Once, while I was talking to him at Nicole’s house, she took the phone and started telling him how I was broke and needed to buy so much stuff for my apartment. He was like “oh my baby, you should have told me, you know I don’t want you to suffer.”

The next day he sent me 40,000 naira to which he said to take care of myself. I was pretty happy about that actually. Nicole said it was ok for now but that I should better open your mouth and start asking for stuff and be willing to make him feel special so I could get more next time.  Every once in a while he’d randomly send me credit for my phones also. When I wanted to travel to see my boyfriend at the time, I asked him to pay for my ticket (of course he thought I was going to see my mom) and he did. He was supposed to come to my city a few times but for one reason or the other he couldn’t. He was always busy, going from state to state, out with the President and stuff so his schedule was never favorable, which was cool with me actually. He wanted me to come visit him which I was soooo not into doing even though Nicole thought it was a great idea, but I always made excuses. I haven’t seen him again since the first day but we talk a lot. I plan to keep him around but hopefully from afar because he has a lot of connections that would benefit me very soon. 

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Friday Randoms

Howdy Ho folks, Happy Friday! I can't tell you how glad I am that this weekend has finally arrived. Some months ago, I pulled out the vacay calendar to see how much longer before the next public holiday. See in my brain, it never occurs to me that I have vacation time and I can request time off unless I actually have some weekend travel or so. Maybe because I am used to hoarding for Nigeria in December but I need to do better and start taking time off. Either way, I am very glad for this upcoming long weekend. I have friends coming into town. Add food + booze and it should make for a fun weekend. I am listening to this Mariah album as I type this. I don't know, I am just not the biggest Mariah fan. Even that emancipation album people were going mad for didn't move me, so while this album doesn't sound bad at all, nothing is moving me except #beautiful. still a jam. Aite beautiful people, let's random.

See, I get it. We're women. Everyone has a complaint or problem with their body but please let there be a line. I can't hang out with you and all you do is complain about one body part or the other or just keep saying how fat you are or policing what you eat and just sucking the fun out of everything. mba mba, life is short. I had to caution someone about that recently.

Is it nerve wrecking or nerve wracking?

A friend said something to me recently about how she feels there seems to be an in-authenticity with bridesmaids lately. Friends thinks the groom genuinely picks his boys and people in his circle. Brides seem to pick based on varied reasons and somehow people they aren't necessarily close to are on the train.

Someone also said to me - and this might not make sense but I kinda got it. She said as first borns (or was it first born daughters, I can't remember) we need to pray harder than most in life. We are the ones who bear the brunt of whatever "sins of the father" may exist.Think about the ashawo men you know, the heartbroken women they leave in their trail usually swear for their daughters lol.

I was thinking about the Malaysian plane the other day. Like that plane was still not found. Someone tweeted something about God keeping us safe and I just wondered I am sure there might have been a few people on that plane (or people who die in travel accidents)who prayed before travelling but it didn't stop whatever crash from happening so then what be the point?

You know how people complain about friends just being there for the good times and not the bad? Sometimes I think I am that person people seek out to vent/listen during down times but not when it is to share the good.

I think I have a better understanding of why people just don't bother learning or practicing their native language if when you do and it's not up to par we usually laugh at the person.

I used to think it would be better to know when you are dying and you can prepare and all that but now I am just like...that must be terrifying. The fact that we don't know what is on the other side really bugs me and is really what scares me.

When people ask "Do you know anyone going to Nigeria?" I am quite baffled by that question (especially when its heavy stuff). Why would I subject someone I know, that you don't know to go through the hassle of carrying luggage, no matter that you are paying. It's hard enough doing it for someone you know. See, sometimes the hassle isn't even carrying it's the wahala of coordinating when you get there for the person to come get it. Having to call, having to arrange your schedule. Just stressful biko.

When a mother loses a child via miscarriage, can she say she was a mother? when a mother loses a child to death, is she still a mother?

I saw a couple on tv. they were both deaf and blind. how amazing is that? (as a sidebar - deaf and blind people are finding husband. Me I am able-bodied and forever dulling. It is well)

Monica Lewinsky said Bill Clinton was her sexual soulmate. I have never heard that term before. I can dig it. Have you met your sexual soulmate?

I envy people for the weirdest things like being able to put on makeup, style clothes etc. Having numerous degrees or advanced degrees, is not one of them.

That's all I got folks. Have yourself a wonderful weekend and stay safe! Please guys visit my site Thanks!

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Tales from Naij - Part 1

As an introduction, I randomed some time about how being in Nigeria changes you and not for the better. I had a reader email me that expressed interest in sharing their story anonymously from Nigeria. I plan to post the stories every wednesday, as I receive them. Here's the first one...

I don’t think I realized how true Nollywood movies were so much like real life in Nigeria until I got here. Sometimes I feel like my life is one extra long movie. The struggle is real out here and I’m not even exaggerating. I now know not to envy other people’s “rich” lifestyle, because you have no idea what they did or are still doing to live like that.

I have a friend who tells me that since it's almost inevitable that all men will cheat, why sit and be faithful to my boyfriend, when there are magas (rich men) I can date and get lots of money from. At first I always just laughed it off when she talked like that, but as the struggle became realer I started to think more on what she was saying. I’ve always been an independent type person, I’ve always had my own money, I pay for what I want, when I want, etc. If I can’t afford it then I just won’t get it till I can. I don’t like to ask people for money and I could care less how much a guy has, as long as he’s a good guy and treats me well.

Fast forward to living in Nigeria, where most girls have one or two magas and they get these magas to pay their rent, buy their cars, and all other expenses. Some, mind you, have steady boyfriends as well.  My above-mentioned friend, let’s call her Nicole, told me that if I want to make it here I need to at least have one maga; unless my boyfriend has money and willingly spends it on me. Some of these magas may or may not want sex in exchange for the money and gifts they’ll be giving out. Some girls know how to take their money and not open their legs (how that happens, is beyond me), while others open their legs knowing big money will come out of it.

The Gist 

I ran into this older man at the airport one time. There was a mix up with my seat and he kind of nudged me to the empty seat next to him. We started chatting on the plane (which I hate to do because I’d rather sleep), and he was saying how he had been watching me at the gate and was looking for any way to talk to me. He showed me pictures of his wife who is beautiful mind you, and proceeded to tell me how he liked to be very open with women so everyone is in the know. Why he decided to tell me this, I didn’t really understand at first.  I kept wondering why, if he had so much money (as he was talking about his offices all over the world and his lavish vacations) was he sitting in economy with lil ol’ me. As though he read my mind, he said he doesn’t like to flaunt his wealth, especially since he was robbed recently. When we landed he offered to have his driver drop me off somewhere away from the airport so I could get a cab to Lekki. Although I was reluctant, I accepted because that was less money I’d have to pay (now that I think of it, I was really taking my safety for granted). While on our way, we stopped for breakfast then he started calling me baby and being touchy feely. I kept pulling away from him, but that didn’t help much. Mind you, since we were both being open, I let him know that I had a boyfriend to which I could tell he wasn’t too pleased with. When we parted ways, we exchanged numbers and he asked that I made time for him that weekend to which I said probably not since I was in town to see my boyfriend.

I didn’t talk to him nor think of him again till a few weeks later when he was in my city and called me. He told me he was staying at some hotel and I should come there. I told him to meet me at a restaurant or something because I was busy with my aunty and didn’t have time to go to the part of town he was at ( I was actually alone, getting my nails done). He said I should finish with her then please come and spend the night with him. I said we’ll see and immediately deleted his number. I guess I should have known where this was leading, but I just felt so disgusted that he’d actually take me to be that type of girl. I was like is it because he has money; he thinks everyone wants his money? Wrong girl.

Some several weeks later, I was going through a rough patch and needed money like mad. I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize and I answered…it was him. I was actually sitting at home with Nicole. He said he was in town and I shouldn’t disappoint him like I did last time. That he just wants to see me and he’ll make it worth my while. He told me where he was staying and I said, when I’m done with what I’m doing, if it wasn’t too late then I’ll pass by. I told Nicole and she was like I should just go and see what’s up. I was still reluctant, but she was just like worst-case scenario, I should just say no and leave. She kept on trying to persuade me, why I don’t know, especially when I told her the hotel he was staying at, she was like he definitely has money.

I got to his hotel room and he was all hugs and excitement to see me. We chatted a bit, then he told me to order whatever I wanted. He had some guest come over and they were talking business while I waited on my food. He said he had to go to the ATM, so he left with the guest and I stayed behind. Several long minutes later he came back; it was probably like 11-11:30pm by then. We talked a bit then I said I was going to head out soon and where was the “worth my while” thing he was talking about. I think he got a bit irritated that I asked because he then said look, we’re both adults, we know what is going to happen and he said he will make me happy so when it’s all said and done, he will. He asked me to please just stay and leave in the morning. In my head I was just like damn, am I really about to stay here all because of some money? Has it really come to this. I said ok, got in the bed, fully clothed and said I was sleepy. He got on a business call and I pretended to sleep. When he was done, he started bugging me to wake up, then he started touching on me. He took my hand and put it where he wanted it and I just laid there while tears rolled down my cheeks. He climbed on top of me (I was still fully clothed) and I felt myself suffocating (oh yea he’s like 3-4 times my size). I pushed him off me and so he just went back to putting my hand places because I wouldn’t do anything else. After he realized nothing more was happening, he went to sleep. 

I tried to sleep but I kept counting the hours pass by before it was 5am and I could run out of there. When the time finally came, weirdly enough he moved near me to cuddle, I jumped up and said I had to pee, went to the bathroom, came out and picked up my bag. At that point I didn’t even want the money anymore; I just wanted to leave. He looked confused and asked where I was going. I said I had to be somewhere by 7:30 so I had to go home and get ready. He looked angry but he got up and went to his bag and I saw him count some money. Then he came back to lecture me on how he left me alone throughout the night, expecting to be pleased in the morning and that I should always please a man in the morning, regardless of who he is. I was like oh ok. He gave me the cash and told me to count it, I said no need, he said do it. He put me on his lap to sit and I counted it…30,000 naira. I said thank you and left. I cried all the way home and thought about how I not only cheated on my boyfriend, but I touched on this fatty for a mere 30k. I added his number to my blocked list and that was the last time I ever talked to him.

Friday, May 16, 2014

My 3 day cleanse - Day 3

So by now as you can tell I am over all this but sticking it through. Today, I didn't bother drinking any of the bottles I didn't like. I only had 3 and two happened to be the new ones for today which thankfully I liked.

Bottle 2 - Spicy Pomenade - pomegranate, lemon, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. yum

Bottle 4 - Chia Berry - which was my favorite of the whole thing

Bottle 5 - ChocoNana - chocolate, banana and strawberries - yum

By the third day, I don't think you feel hungry. You kinda just get used to the feeling like feeling numb. I didn't feel tired either. So emm, yea that's it. 3 days over. I can't decide if I failed or not but it's over. All said and done, I'd recommend the Jus by Julie though. I think my palate is just weird. Have a lovely weekend!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

My 3 Day Cleanse - Day 2

sigh. I honestly don't know why I am doing this again but since I have started I have to finish. Quite frankly, this is ridiculous. I didn't finish bottle 5 and didn't bother with bottle 6 and went to bed. So, I had the same bottles as yesterday with 2 changes.

  • Bottle 3 - Acai Blend - acai berries, strawberries and banana. I know all these things sound like they should taste great but for me it was a meh. I think the problem is my palate is used to that sweet and processed stuff so these things are bland to me...or maybe I just don't like it. The consistency of this was also weird but I finished it cuz I was starving.
  • Bottle 5 - Not so Chunky - peanut butter and banana - it tastes just like that and of course I hate it. To me it tastes like iced salt. I am staring at it now and I doubt I will finish it.
My day today, I can't even tell if it was better or worse. I was more hungry today and that's cuz I just couldn't with the ewedu bottle today. I had 2 gulps and I just couldn't. So I waited it out and was grateful for lemonade time. My stomach was growling and I was so hungry I appreciated the Sweet Spin more today. Also today I was much sleepier than I was yesterday. I wasn't tired. Just hungry and sleepy. I was so angry when I got home, I cheated and had a handful of grapes. As I am so, I am allowed to have egg whites but I don't know why I haven't had some or maybe I do. I feel like if I eat something I'll just say screw it and ditch the cleanse. Anyhue, tomorrow is the last day and Lord knows I can't wait. I don't understand how people do this for a week or 2 or 3 makes no damn sense. I want food! I love food! I miss food!

Oh yea, so far I haven't found the benefits. Well unless it's something internal that I can't tell. I'm having blood work done tomorrow, I hope it doesn't affect it. See you tomorrow. Tomorrow can't come soon enough. Happy Friday eve!

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

My 3 Day Cleanse - Day 1

So I have been meaning to do a cleanse since the beginning of the year. I really just felt like my body went through a lot of crap last year and I ingested a lot of drugs. The anasthesia from my surgery this time around wasn't so nice to me either and if it makes any sense, I just felt dirty inside. So anyways, I have read and seen a lot of people go on about the benefits of cleansing, so I figured by January, my body should be recovered and I could also flush out all the junk I ate in Naij hehe. Well I came back all determined and it was just so expensive - I have gotten a lot of flack for wanting to buy as opposed to juicing myself but yea, I don't have enough time to sit and be juicing and I don't trust that I will have enough nutrients for the three days and ultimately, I wanted to. So I stalked and found a $99 deal on GroupOn (as a self diagnosed addict) and since I had a credit with them I only paid about $50. Life happened and I didn't get the opportunity to start it till today.

So the one I am doing is Jus by Julie based in Brooklyn, NY. You basically tell them when you want them to deliver and they do next day shipping in a reusable cooler bag and ice packs. The rules are 6 bottles a day every 2-3 hours. Only thing you can have is tea or coffee with truvia or stevia, steamed veggies, sugarless gum and egg whites. Below is the breakdown of each bottle:

  • Bottle 1 - Morning Glory - romaine, celery, spinach, apple, kale, banana and strawberry. I am sure in all of the green they only threw in half a strawberry and half a banana. I honestly couldn't finish it. It tasted like Ewedu in a bottle and I just discarded it.
  • Bottle 2 - Spicy Lemonade - lemon, maple syrup, cayenne pepper - so by this time my head was spinning and I was thinking of all the different foods I could have and trying to remember why I was doing it. But I liked this a lot and was a welcome change from the Ewedu bottle.
  • Bottle 3 - Sweet Spin - spinach, kale, pineapple, banana, mango - so I was looking forward to this. All the reviews said this was their favorite and ingredients wise I expected a lot but meh. I didn't care for it. It was better than ewedu bottle but I was let down and definitely preferred the Spicy Lemonade.
  • Bottle 4 - Chia Berry - strawberries, chia seeds, lemon and pomegranate - this is supposed to be the sweet one to help with sugar cravings and i loved it. It was my last bottle at work and I didn't even finish it. I screwed up my timing but I finished it at home
  • Bottle 5 - Island Coconut - coconut meat & water, date, cinnamon - Again, everyone raved about this as the "dessert" drink but again it was a meh for me. I don't like coconut water and I am also not a fan of milk so for me it was just there.
  • Bottle 6 - Sweet Spin again. I haven't had it and I don't know if I will cuz I think I am just gonna go sleep. I should find out if its okay to do 5 instead of 6.
Overall, yes it was a tough day. I was/am hungry, I didn't even go near the cafeteria so I won't burst into tears. My coworker was chewing on celery and I felt envy. imagine, for celery. At work, I really thought I'd race home and make some egg whites but I haven't and probably won't. A lot of people said they missed chewing stuff but that hasn't been a problem for me. Oh yea, a lot of peeing has been going on and I find that annoying and quite disruptive. I usually work out with my friend after work but nna, energy no dey not even to walk. I can't wait for this to be over. Also, I don't know why people do this for weight loss if they are gonna go back to eating normally it doesn't make sense. Oh well, looking forward to bed time so I can get day 2 over and done with. I miss foooood! I'll keep you guys updated on day 2.