Showing posts from 2020

Happy Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day.

Mother's Day always comes with a myriad of emotions for me ever since I lost my mom. Somehow, some way it has been 5 years since I lost her and it still hits me like a ton of bricks. It's a lingering, never going anywhere hole but often times it hits harder at its own convenience and Mother's Day is one of them.

I saw a quote from Prince Harry that said it best "Missing a mother is like missing some sort of security.You need that as a son and it falls away when you lose your mother. But everything I do reminds me of her"

Like with some of the other big dates, I begin to feel the sinking feeling like a week before. On the day of when I reach for my phone (as an addict), I forget in the usual morning grogginess but social media suddenly reminds me its today. The slew of pics and homages hit and I try to take a deep breath because I have to have a conscious day.

Conscious day means no room for mindless consumption. Conscious decision …

When Will This End?

Hi Guys,

Hope everyone is staying safe. It's been...honestly don't know how long it has been...since COVID has been dropped on our heads and I don't know how to honestly say how I am doing.

On the surface, I want to say I am fine but if I dig deeper, I don't know if that is true. My mind is always racing. I am wondering when all this is going to end. If, it is going to end because if we have to be honest, based on all the reports coming out, NOONE knows ANYTHING about this virus. The news changes from day to day on what to look out for. Even surviving seems to come with consequences, as we now hear how survivors are in need of dialysis.

I know people who have lost their jobs, had hours cut, some of us in the job market or being furloughed. All of that comes with a lot of uncertainty. I think about all the businesses shut down and how owners have to decide whether to stay open or shut down with no income coming in. When I take my walks around the neighborhood, I see mor…

Friends With Benefits

Yesterday on twitter, I came across a tweet that read:

"The friendship is the most important part of being FWB tbh. That’s why it’s friends with benefits not benefits with friends. Think about it"

Now, the person was being cheeky but I had responded before I realized that.

So my thoughts on this.

The misleading thing about that title is thinking the person you are getting and giving benefits to is your friend. Now granted, we all define friends differently but once you get into a casual situationship or situation where you are just scratching each others itch then something about the friendship is pushed to the bottom, it's no longer a friendship but now a sexual understanding/arrangement.

It shouldn't be explained but I feel I have to. Whenever opinions are made it is not always fact and does not always apply to every single situation. In this case if this goes on for a long time without evolving to a relationship this is what I am referring to. A FWB situation.

Of al…


If you are reading this can you even believe what is going on right now?

Because I can't.

Every day I wake up and consume news I shouldn't be consuming in such copious amounts and fuel my anxiety. It honestly doesn't feel real to me. It is so surreal to know that we are actually living out something that will be in the history books and it is not a movie or a book.

And to think people aren't taking this seriously.

The way this has been handled by the govt. has been an absolute joke.

We had a headstart. We did nothing. Even now with all the measures being taken and telling us to socially distance ourselves, it all seems so laughable to me because everyday planes are taking off and landing in different countries and the virus continues to spread.

The Mr and I were talking the other day and we were saying how no matter how cautious you are, it just seems impossible to prevent any virus particles 100%. We just have so much interaction with everything. From mail to packages…

Friday Randoms?

Hi Guys! Welcome to my not Youtube channel.

I kid.

I am going to be hella random. How is everyone doing? Is your year going well? Do you feel as hopeful as you did the beginning of the year?

How are we feeling about the democratic party and the debates? I have caught a few and honestly I want to be optimistic but man, I just think he is going to get four more years.

Which do you think America is ready for first - a gay president or a female president?

Till today I will never not be in awe that America voted a black President - twice. Like the first time okay, but in retrospect how did Obama beat McCain that seems to be the epitome of everything America loves.

Obama scares me a bit. Noone is that perfect and his whole story was just easy breezy relatively.

Everyone is crazy about Love is Blind on Netflix. If you don't know about it, welp. Get to know more about it here.

Lent is here again. Once again, I implore people to not low key use it as a diet plan and try to add and improve …

Knock Knock

I have this affliction where I never fully enjoy good moments because I think it's too good to be true and surely something is waiting for me around the corner. This is an affliction because when the shoe actually drops you never know if it was going to be anyways or if it was a self fulfilling prophecy.

All that to say that I pushed past that fear and had me a positive reflective last post for my year in review and 2020 was like "aww you are cute" and here we are at me trying to paddle and keep myself afloat just like old times. I suppose that's what I get for not ringing in the new year in church (but on the flip side of that I got to finally kiss someone at midnight. Can you believe I just never have in my big age? For the most part I have spent a lot of new years on a plane, flying back to America. the rest were either with family praying or in church)

But that doesn't change my resolve. I resolved to practice trusting God and turning all things over to him. …