Friends With Benefits

Yesterday on twitter, I came across a tweet that read:

"The friendship is the most important part of being FWB tbh. That’s why it’s friends with benefits not benefits with friends. Think about it"

Now, the person was being cheeky but I had responded before I realized that.

So my thoughts on this.

The misleading thing about that title is thinking the person you are getting and giving benefits to is your friend. Now granted, we all define friends differently but once you get into a casual situationship or situation where you are just scratching each others itch then something about the friendship is pushed to the bottom, it's no longer a friendship but now a sexual understanding/arrangement.

It shouldn't be explained but I feel I have to. Whenever opinions are made it is not always fact and does not always apply to every single situation. In this case if this goes on for a long time without evolving to a relationship this is what I am referring to. A FWB situation.

Of all the people in the world, why hook up with someone who considers you a friend? Are you treated differently depending on whether or not you are having sex? Would you call someone who hooks up with you when single, does not see you as a romantic interest, then drops you (if they drop sef) when they get a girlfriend and comes right back to you when that is over? A friend that sees you as an intermission?

I get that just because they do the basic things anyone would do as a decent human being to anyone and care about your welfare, does not make them a friend or excuse some of their actions. I also know there are some progressive people who never catch feelings or don't care but for the most part that is not the case. It usually ends in tears. In the past, you couldn't convince me that these people weren't my friends. I even think it's what made it last longer. But in recent realizations and introspections, I came to the conclusion that they were not my friends, it was just convenience (and stupidity on my end tbh)

I watch a lot of reality shows that involve romantic involvements and a lot of what I have noticed is just how much unhealthy dating habits we have as a people. We tend to lie to ourselves. And sometimes to move forward and not stay in the same hamster wheel of ruts, it requires not doing the same things and changing. Being honest about ourselves and what we want.

Now, I am not being a prude and not saying don't get yours when you want with whoever, I think I am just saying that I think the "friend" in FWB should be taken very loosely. I know it might be an unpopular opinion but ah well.

Hope everyone is staying safe in this weird COVID times. Hopefully, this will pass at some point and we can experience the outside to the fullest again!

P.S ICYMI PSA ANNOUNCEMENT - Original Mgbeke blogged. I repeat. Original Mgbeke blogged. If you think I am lying, go see for yourself!


yujubee said…
That PSA. LOL.
mizchif said…
Lol, had to run to check that OM really posted, then read, then commented, then came back here.

I remember seeing the tweet and your response.
I don't have all the english to opine on this right now but i hear you. Don't fully agree but hear.

What you said about poor relationship habits, next time @ me okay?
I mean i know i need to do things differently so why i'm not i don't know.
And i'm not sure i'm ready to unpack what might be possible self sabotage yet so ya, carrying on.

Hope you're keeping well. Take care.

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