Thursday, July 30, 2015

Friday Randoms

Hello all. Hope you are all doing well. I really love summer. I never understand when people complain about the heat. I'd take this all day vs. the winter or fall. I really hate wearing coats and sweaters. Can you believe we have just 5 months left of this year? It feels like January was just here. Personally, it's just been a long ass year but this isn't about me. Let's random.

How are celebs able to rebound from relationships so quickly? Like it doesn't matter the age, circumstance or look you are guaranteed to hear of their new relationship almost immediately after a split. Thinking about it, it's just not reserved for celebs sha. There are people who are almost rarely single. They always have a significant other. How do you guys do it o?

How do you kick a person out your system?

How many of your friends were made online vs. physically in real life? Was talking to a friend who mentioned how he met his friend via some msn community thingie and it had me remembering a convo with another friend who said he thought most of my bridal party would be friends I made online (not even sure why he thought that). I thought about it and while I have made a lot of friends via online mediums, none of the people I have in mind for my bridal party right now (except 1, which is even a comma whether she's online) would be from online and most of my close friends are friends I made in college.

Those of you that have hope for Nigeria, where do you get it from? This is a serious question btw.

It's a bit awkward being friends with 2 people who were dating and are now split.

Why do celebs retweet their compliments? Don't they get enough attention? I noticed this is a common practice among reality stars sha, so that makes sense.

I envy people who are always on some "life is great" tip because I don't care if you positive patrolers come to get me but LIFE IS HARD. All the decisions, responsibilities and curve balls you have to deal with and navigate while preserving your sanity. It's hard biko.

I thought this was a really good read pertaining to life http://markmanson.net/question

Nigerians can be so extra about stuff. When they do stuff you'd think they've never done it before. Like they've never seen champagne before or traveled abroad or *insert any cool kid activity*. just be making noise about it up and dahn.

You can try to edit yourself taya to make people more comfortable around you but honestly, you can please everyone. Something will always still be an issue. Guess it is better to just be you. Noone is obligated to hang out with you or be your friend.

That's all I have for you guys. Have a great weekend. Be safe and stay prayed up.






Sunday, July 26, 2015

12 Steps to Self Care

I come across a lot of these things online and once upon a time I'd view them as cliches and roll my eyes but as I get older I have realized that these reminders are so necessary because once again, we know better but we don't do better.

1. If it feels wrong, don't do it

2.  Say [exactly] what you mean

3.  Don't be a people pleaser

4.  Trust your instincts

5.  Never speak bad about yourself

6.  Never give up on your dreams

7.  Don't be afraid to say no

8.  Don't be afraid to say yes

9.  Be kind to yourself

10. Let go of what you can't control

11. Stay away from drama and negativity

12. LOVE

Hope you found at least one thing that resonates? Which ones resonated with you? Have a lovely week ahead.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Friday Randoms

Hi all. Hope everyone had a good week. We are having a lot of thunderstorms here and it's kind of annoying just rain all the time. I don't think I got to say this but thank you to everyone who left a kind message or sent an email to me about my mom. I appreciate it and thank you for the prayers, they are much needed and truly appreciated. Regarding my last post about nature vs. nurture, I read this article last week about two sets of twins switched in error - http://www.nytimes.com/2015/07/12/magazine/the-mixed-up-brothers-of-bogota.html?_r=1 - it was such a fascinating read and also mentioned in there was: One unexpected finding in his research suggested that the effect of a pair’s shared environment — say, their parents — had little bearing on personality. Genes and unique experiences — a semester abroad, an important friend — were more influential. Pretty fascinating. Anyways here are my randoms:

I have finally decided that I don't like it when an older woman dates a much younger man. More oft than not, she is gonna want stuff that he is not ready to give and it's kinda like what's the point?

Honestly, celebs living in their own world is a thing because they never seem to learn. I am totally not against Russell and Ciara being celibate not at all but why announce it? Someone responded to me that it gives inspiration for those practicing same which I kinda see but biko they are celebs. I can give you a long list of celebs who declared same and didn't follow through. I feel like Russell has invited a whole slew of people into their relationship, things always get blown out of proportion when you are a celeb. Also, the whole God told me to lead her etc rubbed me the wrong way. Breh, you just got a divorce, we are all sinners and learning.

I don't think it's harder to make friends as you get older, I think it's harder to find people you click with especially because your tolerance for bullshit is at a low.

Technology advancement is a bit scary. I look at some of the things we can do now and I am just like can we slow down?

If you watch Married to Medicine, you know Dr Jackie is constantly on some be skinny under the guise of be healthy tip and she borders on rudeness. One of the doctors made a comment that it's interesting hearing Dr Jackie make these comments when she has never had to struggle with her weight before and I think he had a point. Sometimes it's amusing seeing people who never had to struggle give all these tips like it's easy but if you have never had to struggle you get to have your cheat days and gorge on fattening foods and skip workouts and still be skinny where someone who struggles has to do twice the work. Long and short sha, sometimes some sensitivity is lacking.

Has anyone ever read an obituary that was honest? Every obituary seems to make the dead person a paragon of virtue of human being-hood. You aren't supposed to speak ill of the dead but is it ill if it's truth?

I listened to a podcast that made me think of people who reside in troubled countries. I honestly can't imagine what it would be like to live in a place where you are in fear 24/7.

I am always fascinated by people with pseudo or full on igbo accents who can't speak the language. One of my closest friends today, the day I met her and she said she couldn't speak I was all "who are you fronting for?". yes i am a mess.

I don't know if I will ever delete my mom from my bbm or my contacts. I miss her everyday.

Once again, always believe that the way you see yourself is definitely not how people see you.

Social Media is not a true representation of how people are really doing. People always make that mistake.

In today's episode of Taynement's irrational irks. I dislike when I am having a conversation with someone and they just start dropping links. I totally get why, to back up a point but I work in research and know that you can skew anything to back up whatever point you want to. Kinda like how you can find any bible passage for whatever you want to prove. But I'd just rather have a discussion that having to take a break and go read then come back. Remember i said it was irrational. Thanks.

Guys, self delusion is the way to go. If you truly believe you are the shit, nothing can phase you and you believe your hype. I know people who operate this way and it's totally working for them. So people, get your dose of self delusion today!

Have a wonderful week guys. Stay prayed up and be safe.

I love this song.










Sunday, July 5, 2015

Nature vs. Nurture

The other day I came across this tweet on my TL:

"i sometimes feel like the children of single parent homes or of divorce will stay in relationships LONG past the sell by date..."

I found this tweet silly because it reminded me of many sayings like this that I have heard in the past that seem to imply certain behaviors are solely or majorly found in people from single parent or divorced homes without recognizing that there are many scarred people that come from 2 parent/stayed together parents. Just because it's a 2 parent home doesn't mean it was rosy but anyways that's not my point. It led me to thinking whether people's lives/characteristics is because of their environment or their natural traits.

The age old Nature vs. Nurture question.

I still don't know where I stand on this question, but I think if I had to pick I'd pick Nature.

I think we are born with certain characteristics at birth that guide us through our decisions in life. Sure along the way, our experiences alter/modify, but I don't think the core of a person can be changed? or can it?

Another reason for those who might pick nurture. I met a couple. Married 50 years, been together about 54 years. They are a joy to be around. Still laugh together, hold hands etc. I asked what they thought was most important and he said she makes him laugh everyday. So basically, the epitome of a happy marriage. Now switch to their kids. A different story. I think except for one, none stayed married. Made bad dating decisions, single mom, problems with kids etc. They had an exemplary marriage to look up to so why?

I can recognize if people think I am making it simplistic with this example but i'd like to hear your thoughts. What do you think? What do you think has more influence in a person's life?

Nature vs. Nurture?