Monday, February 28, 2011

Much Ado About Nothing

This isn't going to be a long post, just wanted to get something out. I had no intention of blogging tonight but I just watched "Bethenny Ever After" and there's a scene where she is in therapy discussing her non relationship with her dad and her mom and I got that "feeling" I usually get when I watch stuff that pertains to non existent parent relationship.

As some of you may know, I have an almost non existent relationship with my dad, so it's hard for me to put that "feeling" in words. That's not the point of my post though, I think part of what comes with that feeling is a little resentment at not being able to talk about it. You know you hear about people who are labeled "the one with daddy issues" and you don't want to be that girl who blames everything in their life on their absent father and yea I agree with that, you shape your own life, you deal with the cards you are dealt with and try to move past it. The fact is, having an absentee father is part of my reality, it has shaped some of what I am today. I have done the best I can to not let it control my life. Have I done the best job? I don't know. Sometimes I do want to yell at people who have no idea when they casually throw out the "you have to just get over it" It's like, am I supposed to act like this never happened? Do I just keep going on suppressing thoughts and feelings? I don't know the answer but for the most part that's what I do, mostly because I am just really conscious of what I mentioned above - I don't want to be that girl, so even when I might just be venting, I'd feel like I was whining. Every now and then, I have those moments where I think about it, but for the most part, I am in a good place and I have reached a point where I can sincerely say I am good.

Anyhue, it really could be a lot worse and I am okay really. Before you guys flood the comment box with condolence sounding messages lol. Let me emphasize that I am okay oh!It was just a thought I had and felt the need to write about it. Hope y'all had a wonderful Monday. I sho' did thanks to Charlie Sheen and his numerous interviews. Oh did anyone catch the dry ass Oscars? I should do a write up on that. Laters!

PS Forgive my sucky title. I couldn't think of anything.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Friday Randoms

Aloha people! I am on a roll this week oh, third post in a week(CILy you see that? hiss). Thought I'd cap it off with some randoms for you guys. I have had a long week and I am looking forward to the weekend. Took a final today and that leaves one more class. Woohoo! Oh yea, thanks for all the comments on "my" last post, it was interesting to read although I think there was some misunderstanding. I don't think the guest blogger was trying to say that you should lie to your partner unnecessarily and ALL the time. I think the key part of the post for me was "The fact is we would have to use our knowledge of the person we are dealing with in order to answer any personal questions. Sort of like when you are in a job interview". Okay, let's random.

Soooo, I realized I am uncomfortable with sex being referred to as "making love". No rational reason, I'd just rather it wasn't called that. (Are you saying "seek help"? You can like to hug transformer :D)

I may have issues but I am awesome dammit.

Talking to a friend of mine and she said that men have the power when it comes to relationships and women just control sex. Yay? Nay?

I really don't know how my best friend and I are friends, she is so sappy it's cute. Yes I called you out. Luh you boo.

I have a "thing" with bathrooms. I can't get into detail but my friends know. This show "Shameless" has their whole opening credit montage filmed in a bathroom. Each family member goes in there and does different things. I saw it the first time and was so disgusted and now I can't watch it anymore, I have to fast forward.

You know that deal with guys, where they feel that a woman should at least offer to pay when she goes out to dinner with a guy, even if he will decline. I think the equivalent for me is whether its a friend or a significant other(boyfriend not husband), if a woman cooks, the man should at least just offer to wash up even though she'd probably decline the offer.

How do you fix it when you don't know the problem?

Anonymous comments rub me off the wrong way, even when it's not a vicious one. Yes I know I can disable anonymous comments.

You've all seen the ad, "the average person has 28 first kisses". Omo man, if that's true then I am dulling and have a lot of catching up to do.

That being said I could do with a really good kiss right about now.

Oh when I was trynna get a count for the above, I did it by timeline but also considered doing it by ranking hehe

Wedding crashers irk me.

If chickens had free will to visit their fellow bird family, would they ever visit a bird that could fly? Won't they feel insecure?

How anyone can think I have no feelings is beyond me.

I was watching the All Star basketball game. So many fine men on tv. I just wondered how anyone could be a lesbian and miss out on the goodness of attractive men.

My tolerance gets lower as I get older :(

"If you don't let go of the past, you will keep bleeding"

I really look forward to taking my kids to Disney world.

As seen on twitter: "Did you think the anthem was about a blind spanish person "joseeee can you seeee?". I thought that was funny. my friends? not so much. dry people.

Another thing seen on twitter: What if your bbm's were wikileaked. Are you safe? lol

Ok, that's all I have folks. Be good this weekend.or not. I will be good, as I am most times lol. Instead of a music video, I thought I'd share this Cheetos ad that I like. I really think the Cheetos Cheetah is a stonehead and is creepy but the way the dude is dancing in the video is what cracks me up.Enjoy


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

I promise to tell the truth and nothing but the...oh wait..

Hi Guys. Thanks for the comments on my last post, obviously I haven't uncluttered my mind cuz I am up at 3.30am lol, but I did get some sleep sha. Today's post is a post by a friend of mine who we shall refer to as VerbalFornication. Enjoy and don't forget to leave your comments.

We have all heard the phrase, so cliché that I don’t even need to repeat it hailing honesty in its dark twisted forms. Dark? Twisted? Come on! No its true. Lets forget that political correctedness is slowly eating away at society’s individualistic thoughts and expression like gastric acid and stomach lining. My focus is on relationships and the faux pact we make with our significant other to be honest “no matter what” while the truth is…it matters a great deal.

“Honey does this dress make me look fat?”


If it didn’t why would she ask you? I mean before you two started dating she would dress herself and come to conclusions however biased or jaded they were without your input. So why does it suddenly matter?

How many men/women have you slept with?

Was your ex better than me in bed?

These are just some of the many many questions that significant others ask (yes women AND men) which there is only ONE satisfactory answer. Now consider telling the truth, which could have one of three outcomes:

1. He or she doesn’t really care either way what the answer is. They would just like to KNOW – this scenario is rare. So rare that we shall not delve into the psyche of such individuals at this time.
2. You give the RIGHT answer. – all is well! You have passed the test (wait that was a test?) YES it was. Because you COULD fail by giving the wrong answer.
3. You give the WRONG answer. – all hell breaks loose. She becomes quiet, moody, weepy. He scorns you, mistrusts you, all of a sudden he thinks you’re a whore…

The fact is we would have to use our knowledge of the person we are dealing with in order to answer any personal questions. Sort of like when you are in a job interview.

In relationships I have always felt that the truth is the best option even if it blows up in your face. But that does not make for a long relationship and you will surely find yourself with a constant expiration date of 3-6 months; a bevy of ex-girlfriends who dumped you “suddenly” and a deep-seated envy of those jerks whom you KNOW you are better than, but always seem to end up with your girl.

So guys, lie to your girl.
Ladies, lie to your man.
They want you to.
They NEED you to.
Everyone has insecurities, and wants someone to make those insecurities go away

Sunday, February 20, 2011

I know I Should Blog...

....but I honestly can't think of a single thing to blog about. Which is funny, because I have been having trouble sleeping lately and the only time that happens is when I have stuff on my mind. I should be able to pull a topic from the clusterfuck that's my mind eh? Well just checking in and for the person who bugged my ear off today in my sleepless stupor about not blogging consistently and being tired of seeing the same blogpost, hope this is different enough for you hehehe.

Have a wonderful week ahead, y'all.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Rambling and a Realization

I get told about myself a lot. I get analyzed by people and I get varying reasons as to why I do some of the things I do. In recent years, of course it's been relationship wise. The conclusions are sometimes amusing, sometimes off base and sometimes on the money.I have my self reflections, and I address or recognize some things that I need to work on and/or come up with questions that I have no answers to. I was speaking to a friend the other day and I was telling him how I had just never allowed myself to ever let go completely with someone of the opposite sex. I have actually been told by a guy I was seeing that he felt I never gave any genuine emotion and he can never quite gauge what I am feeling. Fair enough.

There are a few reasons this happens:
1) If you have been reading my blog long enough, I won't bore you again with my trust issues.
2) How much is too much to reveal to someone at the beginning. You can't just meet someone and dump everything about you in one full serving yet I feel everything I do is connected to understanding something else about me so it all makes sense. So me being the over thinker I am end up holding back.
3) And this is the option I will say has the most weight. I see most relationships as temporary, so I never see the need to fully invest. Yes I know that's terrible. I am aware and I am working on it.


Was talking to my friend about the above topic and he said he whole heartedly could relate to #3 and I was a bit taken aback. Talking to another friend and he told me that he couldn't date me because I'd probably make him cry every day. He said I had a sharp mouth and thinks I use it as some defense mechanism and as a tool to chase guys away (dunno bout all that). See, I have this thing when I am comfortable with guys, I don't censor myself as much as I would with females. Why? Because in all my 28 years of living, I am just now realizing that in my head I really think guys have no feelings lol. I might be exaggerating but I usually think nyeh, they don't think most things are a big deal or they'll get over it quickly so it's okay. I don't know why or how it hit me but I am glad it did. I am aware that men have egos, especially nigerian men, so I can't just be running my mouth and acting like they are immune to everything.

Ok that was my ramble and realization post, hope it made sense. If not, ah well. Wishing you all a happy valentine's day. It'll be a normal day for me but my friend has invited me to dinner, so I might take her up on her offer. For you lovebirds out there, have a wonderful day with your loved one!!


Wednesday, February 9, 2011

The Good Wife

Howdy folks, don't mind my title. I just finished watching Season 1 and 2 of the "The Good Wife" and I am very impressed. I couldn't think of a title for this post, so I just went with that. Ok let me get to the koko of my blog post.

"All men want freaks they just dont want them for a wife" - Spike Lee

"Men marry the ‘good girl,’ become unsatistfied & then have the side-chick to do all the things they’re uncomfortable doing with their wife"

"Some men are never able to reconcile the reality. In their minds, wife = good girl, side-chick = bad girl. They cannot be one & the same"

So I read the above this morning on this teeny site you might have heard of called Twitter. The person went further and asked the fellas if they would allow their woman to be completely freaky with them and not judge them? She was of the belief that most men will say that they won't judge the female in question believing they are liberal and go ahead to judge their non-wife partner (lol) and end up looking for a traditional(read: less freaky) woman when it's time to get married.

Ok for those of you saying define freaky. My definition is someone who is open and willing to try almost anything sexually.

Anyways, Yours Truly completely agrees with the author especially when it comes to Nigerian men. It's not like they don't enjoy the openness but something about having a wife that is that "open" I dunno sits uncomfortably with them. I spoke to two of my male friends about this. The first one said he didn't think that was the case, at least speaking for himself but being a man of very little words, I didn't get enough info to satisfy my curiosity so I asked the second friend and he agreed with me that unfortunately that *is* the case with most men and most men can't handle freaks as wives. I didn't understand, so I asked why and his theory was maybe they can't handle or reconcile the freaky women also being the mother of their children, he also thought that maybe some guys have issues with what they do sexually and feel that there is something inherently dirty about it and don't want that with their wives.

I just started scratching my head sha, I don't understand how we (females) are the confused gender. I mean all we hear from our beloved rap stars who permeate the brain of our lovely men is wanting a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed (in a past convo, another guy friend of mine says that whether a couple has good or bad sex is dependent on the guy but that's another post for another time) but it looks like women are being penalized for it anyways because if you say you no do, dem say you be prude. If you say you do, now you are too freaky to be the mother of my children. They end up with the prude and then cheat on her with the freak because he is not satisfied - mon dieu! My friend did ask if I thought my freakiness or lack of it (whichever the case may be) is aiding/hurting my marriage chances lol. I replied with a no. I would hope that I wouldn't end up with someone whose decision is solely based on my freak o meter and not other qualities about me.

Ok I am sure this isn't all I wanted to say but I have a horrible headache and I have had this thing for like a week now and I have to step away from the screen but please feel free as usual to share your pov? What do you think? Should you hold back with someone so you don't get judged or just do your thing judgement be damned? Have a great week!!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Friday Randoms

Hiya folks, what's good. As promised, I think I got some randoms for you guys, how was your week? My week has been weird, I was so emotional but I am blaming it on the weather. Texas got the real cold and just froze. I worked from home two days this week and when I eventually ventured out the roads were (still is) covered in ice, we are like ice skating with our cars on the road lol. I feel bad for the Super Bowl events and the business owners looking forward to all the business. Anyhue, I am glad it's the weekend, even though snow is expected today and Monday, I will still make time to regroup and refresh. Let's random shall we?

I really would love to visit Dubai. I feel like I am the only one who hasn't been there.

Things I read on blogsville: I believe the longer the relationship the less likely it is to lead to marriage. Your thoughts?

I always used to wonder why I get uncomfortable when people try to matchmake me. I think it's because I don't think anyone really knows what I like and I'd probably sound demented if I tried to describe.

How do people take pictures of their food while they are cooking. That is the last thing on my mind when I am in the kitchen. Then again, I don't take pictures in general, so maybe that has something to do with it?

I find it very aggravating when people start slowing down 50ft away from their right turn. Grrrr!

Whose bright idea was it to incorporate animated bears with tissue paper? Yes, I am talking about the Charmin ad. Last I checked, they don't wipe their asses, right?

I hate the word natchy. No particular reason, I just do. Same goes for "Awwww". I don't like when people awwww me.

Someone asked if I felt my space was invaded because Chuck Bass found my blog and I said no. That led me to thinking about some people who hate being questioned about things they blog about. I feel they have a right to not respond if they don't want to but can't be offended if someone asks a question. A blog is something public, if someone writes something on it, its because they want it out there, if they didn't they'd pick up a pen and paper and scribble their private thoughts or get a private blog. Just my opinion of course.

When I get married, there are two things I shall work hard to not be: A nagging and an unhot wife.

Someone told me that I'd make a good evil ex wife :(. hehe, I thought that was funny.

I really wonder why most people don't utilize google. I love google, it answers all questions.

I prefer gummy worms over gummy bears.

Caught a story on American Idol. This dude was engaged to be married for 2 years and 2 months before the wedding, she got into an accident and is practically a vegetable now. He says "what kind of person would I be if I left her?". Well what kind of person, would he be? Is he really a douche if he leaves?

Watched a documentary about Joan Rivers. It's depressing that she carries ashes of her friends around since most of her friends are dead. Eek!

Is it odd that I think I am open minded but I would still prefer that I don't have a child that's gay?

My friend told me I have a knack for saying everything without revealing nothing. I think this is good and bad.

It's funny how these artists (and everyday men sef) all talk about rocking your bed and being these bedroom phenomenoms. If that's the case, then why are there all these women who aren't having good sex?

The world can be evil. I saw on tv, how a sunday school teacher killed a 6 year old and sexually assaulted her violently with a rolling pin before she did.

I wish it was easier for women to let go and move on. Speaking to someone in a situation, it occurred to me that hope is a killer. Sometimes, it's harder to move on when you have hope that you will still be reunited.

Hank Baskett must really love Kendra sha. I read her autobiography (feel free to judge me). While she was at the mansion, when Hef had 8 girlfriends, they had "party tuesdays" or so, where each girl rode Hef for about a minute and a half and then the next person will take over. She revealed all this and more in her book, plus her sex tape and all and Hank still thinks she is the best thing since sliced bread. Kudos to him.

I heard something hilarious, my friend said her cousin was having a bad day and called to find out what's new in her life cos he knows whatever she tells him is guaranteed to make him feel better. LOL

PRAYER REQUEST: For all people that are homeless in this terrible weather, that they are able to find some form of shelter

Love this song by Christina Perry - Jar of Hearts