Sunday, July 31, 2011

Top 5 takes on love

Some of you may know Whitney Cummings from the Chelsea Handler show. She got her own show and wrote 5 funny (not to be taken seriously)takes on love. They were:

1. If porn was made for women, it would be two hours of snuggling and at the end the guy would propose. I would watch that.

2. Women don't like men in uniform. We like men with jobs.

3. What's worse? Googling your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend or your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

4. Romantic comedies make us believe in fate and destiny. Fate and Destiny are strippers.

5. What's so cool about dating a DJ? All they do is play other people's music. That's like wanting to date a valet because he drives a nice car.

Have a nice week ahead people!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Randoms

Youp, Youp. It's another Friday. It's quite redundant to keep repeating how fast time is going, so I won't talk about it. It's almost 12.30am here and I just got done dancing not too long ago. Every now and then, ok maybe more times than usual, I get my playlist going and dance around my room or in front of my mirror, gets me in a good mood. Down side, is I am coming off the high and now it's back to reality. No yip yapping. Random time.

I have to wonder what it's like to have twins that are so vastly different. When I say different I mean one healthy and one with a disability. Watching a documentary and one kid is healthy, while the other has cerebral palsy or like with that one family about little people, where one twin was normal sized and the other a little person. I often wonder if the "normal" kid feels any guilt.

My friend said not everyone who gets married believes in it. Yay? Nay?

Is it against the law to watch porn on a plane?

I can't remember what I was reading but it basically advised that you shouldn't do a job that you don't like for too long because it will eventually show and they will get rid of you anyways.

I have often wondered the difference between a bestie and a bff. I noticed it's used more by the younger peeps but I think Lohi clarified on twitter than one (I forget) is for a male and the other for a girl.Lol, I am definitely getting old.

My friend asked me randomly, if I still had a crush on someone I had a crush on in college. I said no. She said how come? what happened? She's not the first to ask that question, but it still surprises me. I believe people change, get older, I dunno. I likened it to not having feelings anymore for an ex.

It's a major turn off when someone asks someone out on a date and has no plans. "What do you wanna do?" blech.

I need to hire someone in my house solely for the purpose of zipping me up.I swear sometimes, it feels like I popped a shoulder out trying to zip up my dress.

I have mad respect for TV writers. It's no easy feat to keep shows going for seasons with an interesting storyline. Kudos to them.

Would you shop for a wedding dress with your fiance?

I saw a movie preview with Anna Faris the other day, something about her exes and failed relationships. Come to find out she was not being herself in each relationship and was being whoever she thought the guy wanted to be. One of the movie lines that stood out was a question she was asked by her friend, "How do you know what you want when you don't even know who you are?"

"As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have tons of friends, and more important to have real ones"

I noticed most of the people who are anti e-readers are people who don't own or have tried one.

Finally ladies, listen up and listen good. Culled from BGAE blog: "It doesn't matter how you look or how much you weigh, you are a woman, and if you have enough swag, 90% of the men in this world will not be able to resist you". I don't have statistics to back up the 90%. but you get the gist of what he was saying.

That's all I got today. Headed out of town tomorrow, I really should be sleeping. Have a great weekend. I intend to. Muah!

Just cuz I was sampling the Psquare album. Here's a song of theirs that I really like.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Secrets to Adulthood

Saw this on another blog and liked it. Thought I'd share. I actually practice and agree with almost all of them. Enjoy.

Secrets to Adulthood

1. No one really cares!

2. Seriously, Its okay to say No

3. Don't expect too much from people.

4. Do good, feel good

5. It's important to be nice to everyone

6. If you can't find something, clean up

7. Not everyone is like you

8. Put yourself in other people's shoes

9. No one likes a selfish friend

10. Talk less about people

11. Cook more. It can make you happier

12. Lists work wonders

13. Your 20's are for experimenting!

14. Having a good support system is better than money. Sometimes

15. Exercise if an effective way to snap out of a funk

16. Great thoughts are conceived while walking

17. Never dress for him/her/them. Dress for you.

18. Junk attracts more junk. Spiritually, in friendships and in closets.

19. Do it now! Apply the one-minute rule. Anything that requires less than a minute, do it now

20. Sharing. Easier said than done

21. Always have a pen

22. Everyone loves a little extra love/attention. Not just on birthdays.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Guest Randoms

Hi guys. I have nothing for y'all. It's been a long week and I am tired in all ways(Is life really this complicated or do we make it complicated?). Anyhue, I am checking my email and I have an email from Swanboy with a bunch of randoms letting me know I could post or disregard. Since I got nothing, I decided to post them. Hope y'all enjoy and have a good week ahead.

PS - RIP to Amy Winehouse. I hope she finds the peace she never had here. It's genuinely sad. She was extremely talented and people just never realize the strength of addiction. We are all addicted to something or the other. We tell ourselves we will quit or we will try and do better and we don't. We are lucky they are minute things that don't cause immediate harm to us, hers unfortunately happened to be drugs and it got the better of her. God grant strength and peace to her family and loved ones.


Anyone who knows me knows I have necrophobia. In others words, dead people or anything associated with them (coffins, funerals etc) scare the shit out of me. Recently, I tried facing my fears by watching the comedy “Death at a Funeral.” I couldn’t make it past the first scene without freaking out. Then I laughed at myself. As big as I am. SMH.

For the same reasons as above, I still punk out whenever I’m asked to go into a haunted house at a theme park. Ah well…

Am I the only one who is taken aback whenever I see a white girl with an appreciable derriere? I take it for granted among black women and Latinos, but whenever I see a white girl with one; I wonder where the heck she got it from. One white friend of mine said she had black blood way back in her history.

In this day and age of 50% divorce, I refuse to pop the question until I am 110% convinced that my life is not worth living without the lady in question in it. Sometimes, I think that day will never come. That said, I don’t believe in the soul mate concept.

I think the rate of douchebaggery among people is steadily on the increase. Even “cool peeps” are being jerks nowadays, what gives?

Taynement once asked me what my greatest fear is. My greatest fear is that my life wouldn’t have mattered at all when I’m dead and gone. I really worry about it.

I love watching classic movies on TCM because I get to see pure talented acting, unaided by modern technology. Very few actors today have pure acting talent. In those days, you either could act or you couldn’t. It wasn’t about your looks or the rate you attracted controversy. It was entirely about how you handled the silver screen. How many people today can be compared to Cary Grant, Rex Harrison, Laurence Olivier, Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn? No, I’m not 50 or even middle-aged.

Speaking about movies, quality movies take a long time to make (about a year and a half on the average). Therefore, as long as Nollywood continues to spend a mere three days filming, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and “To God Be the Glory?”, I refuse to have any respect for that industry. That said, big props to the likes of Genevieve Nnaji.

Grad school has seen to it that I rarely have a life. If I ever make it out, I’ll never listen to my parents ever again. “It’ll go by quickly” they said, Bollocks.

I am really getting turned off by African Pentecostalism. The emphasis these days seems to be all about having God solve your problems as opposed to having genuine love for and awe of him. The biblical Job said, “Though he may slay me, yet will I trust him.” I am the last person to opine on religion and spiritualism but I wonder how many people would fill the church pews if they weren’t chasing “divine healing” and facing “demonic attacks”. Also remember when salvation was free? Today you have to sow a “seed offering”.

Yet on the same subject, my friend’s recent status on Facebook spoke volumes. “Calling on God to destroy your enemies with ‘Holy Ghost Faya’ is not being Christian.”

I kicked off my annual summer reading ritual last month and I was having a “Kindle vs Real Book” debate with some friends recently. One friend said “I think if I need to 'digest' information contained in a book, the kindle is where it’s at, but if I want to 'enjoy' a book, I'm not going to get it on the Kindle.” I couldn’t agree more.

Come oh, when did Nigeria decide it wanted to be the bombing capital of Africa?

Lest I overstay my welcome on our Host’s page I’ll leave it here, but before I go, here’s the LWKMD of the day: “The Nigerian prostitutes are calling on Immigration Officials to arrest and deport the foreign prostitutes because they are snatching their customers and also operating illegally in the country. “We want them out because most of our customers are Hausa who prefer them to us,” says one of the prostitutes at Mammy Market, Sokoto. So much for Sharia Law. You may read the rest here http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/07/22/nigerian-sex-workers-want-foreign-rivals-deported/

Keeping with Taynement’s custom of ending with a song, here’s Amy Winehouse’s ‘Rehab’. Her death is tragic if not shocking. As one of my friend’s noted, “I am glad she got to witness the end of one if the tabloid papers that tormented her before she died.”

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Friday, July 15, 2011

Tid Bits

A friend of mine asked me what my thoughts were on Soulmates. I've never quite believed in the concept of soulmates, mostly because I don't think there's that one person for everyone. You can be happy with more than one person, it's just a matter of timing and who you end up with and decide to make it work. Other questions asked were if you are married to someone does it mean they are your soulmate? Can the person you marry grow to be a soulmate? Who knows the answers? not I. We are a society in love with labels, to me all this is meaningless.

I am currently watching the HBO documentary Hot Coffee. Yankee na 419 country with structure. I totally had the wrong impression about the lady who sued Mcdonald's because the coffee was so hot. Apparently there were 700 burn complaints before her and Mcdonalds didn't pay them any mind. The pictures of the burns were pretty damn graphic and she was an old lady.

Lol, someone described me as emotionally damaged today. See my life oh! It wasn't said maliciously and I got what they were trynna say. I am really not any worse or better than the average person :D

House of Balloons na gbaka m n'isi. There goes your igbo lesson of the day. ha!

Breaking Bad is a great show.

You know, when someone asks me how I am, I can genuinely say fine. I really can't complain much, life is good and for that I am grateful. Still kinks here and there that need working out but in general I am good.

I just found out a good friend of mine who I thought didn't read my blog reads this. She really isn't into blogs but said she reads it to know what to ask me since I am never forthcoming. Whatever.

I found my dream job in Nigeria but they won't call/contact me back :(

Who remembers the song from Sound of Music that starts with what will my future beeee? I wonder...

The world is a small place. Always be on your best behaviour.

I had something I wanted to mention but I don't remember so I guess I am done. I am in town this weekend yay! These are getting rare, will be back in the sky next week. Have a great weekend everyone and be safe!

Oh before I forget, I updated my neglected sister blog,so take a sec to check it out if you can. www.tayne-ment.blogspot.com

Ok bye for real.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Untitled

Hey folks, no I still don't have anything to write about. Which means Mr Kay9 that no there will be no Drake "Best I ever had" reenactment up in this piece. I laughed out loud sha, nice try! I got a few suggestions via email. I will see what I can do with it. I just wanted to post a poem by a friend of mine that I really liked. Hope you enjoy. Have a lovely rest of the week!



His notoriety precedes him
Giant ears flapping
Offering a wind of change
Skin rough enough to cut through the silence

A deafening silence
Hollow glances exchanged
Trapped in this ever encroaching space
We are about to be trampled

The quaking ascends
Neither seek refuge
The bellowing a welcome break from our silence
Nothing left to salvage here?

Its sheer size threatening our existence
Stoic we remain, immovable
Furtive glances exchanged
Paralyzed otherwise

In he thunders
Glorious ivory tusks glistening
Destroying all in his path
Leaving behind no we, no us

And just like we never were
He saunters off into the distance
Pink tail swishing lazily
Triumphant

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Blogger's Block

Hi Guys, it's Monday's Eve (booo!). I had a good weekend, my momma is in town and it was really nice seeing her, she looks pretty good for her age and I hope that passes down to me oh. It's always so funny standing beside her, because as short as I am, I am still taller than she is. I am all stocked up on my naija stuvvs although they seized my gala (waah!).

So, the whole point of my post is that for the life of me I can't seem to come up with any topics to write about. I waltz in here with my randoms every now and then and that's about it. WHat happened to the days I had actual stuff to talk about? I'd really like to write something that's not a random and this is where y'all come in. If you are up to it, you could recommend topics for me to write on and I'll see what I can do. The other option is something I tried on my 100th post that failed ever so woefully when I had offered to do a Q&A where you could ask me anything and I'd reply and post it up.

Soooo, in conclusion hit me up with your suggestions and/or questions either in the comment box or via email taynement@gmail.com. Please note that if there are questions, I am at liberty to pick and choose oh! hehehe. Well I am off now, on to continue the cycle of sleep, wake up, work for the man and countdown to 5pm/friday.

Please pray for all those in Lagos who have been affected by the flood. I know some people have made jokes or made light of the situation but I can't help but think of the less fortunate or poor people so to speak who will probably have no way of dealing with any damage the flood might have caused. My brother says this is the worst he has seen of the rainy season. Alright later my lovelies!

Oh enjoy this cover of Kanye's "All of the Lights" by The Portland Cello Project. Simply brilliant

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Novocane





I stole this from someone's tumblr. I feel like the image represents a snapshot of my mind sometimes. Not these particular words just the way the words keep interchanging (although I think I share the sentiments hehe). *EDIT* :D

This probably didn't make any sense haha.

How are you guys, this lovely hump day? Hope you all are doing well. I have had an eventful week it seems, I feel like I haven't had time to chill and take a deep breath, my bumming weekend didn't quite work out that way and I am headed out of town again this weekend. Work has been crazy and I can't get myself to concentrate, as always I am not getting enough sleep so I am running on all spare cylinders left in me. This is not a complaint because I really can't complain, life is good, just a few things I need to sort out :)

Have a lovely evening.

Oh for those of you who don't know my blog title and the words on the gif image are from Frank Ocean's song - Novocane



*gif credit samanthafitzgeraldmusicblogtumblr