Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Fade into you

Y'all know how I love my music. I'm totally in love with the music on "Nashville". A new show on ABC about country music singers. Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio give the best duets. I had to rewind their duet on the first episode (originally done by The Civil Wars - who I adore). Just popped in here to share another of their duet I just heard. I didn't find who originally sang it, so I assume it's an original song of the show, I'll keep digging though. The show music director is T-Bone Burnett, one of the most amazing producers out there. Well, his wife is a producer on the show so I guess it wasn't so hard to nab him.

Fade into you

If you were the ocean and I was the sun
If the day made me heavy and gravity won
If I was the red and you were the blue
I could just fade into you
If you were a window and I was the rain
I’d pour myself out and wash off the pain
I’d fall like a tear so your light could shine through
Then I’d just fade into you

In your heart in your head in your
arms in your bed under your skin
Til there’s no way to know where
you end and where I begin
If I was a shadow and you were a
The cobblestone midnight is where
we first meet
Til the lights flickered out, we
dance with the moon
Then I’d just fade into you

In your heart in your head in your
arms in your bed under your skin
Til there’s no way to know where
you end and where I begin
I wanna melt in I wanna soak through
I only wanna move when you move
I wanna breathe out when you
breathe in then I wanna fade into you
If I was just ashes and you were
the ground
And under your willow they laid me
There’ll be no trace that one was
once two
After I fade into you

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Searched Keywords

Sometimes keywords can be funny. These were the most searched keywords for my blog for the month:

a bukateria in lagos
lady gaga haemophrodite
lost in my 20s
mi2 unstoppable lyric
naija slangs
20 things you should have learned by 25
cliches about getting old
eat pray love quotes you need rainmaker

[Umm, anyone peep #2? *scratches head*]

Of all time:

naija slangs
words of wisdom funny
hilarious words of wisdom
taynement blog
airin rachmi diany
demi moore interview 2012
25 things i learned in my 20s

Have a wonderful day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

You deserve to fall in love

Thought Catalog has the best articles. I thought this was a good read:

You deserve love. Not just any kind of love but, like big “I think I’m going to puke if you touch me (in a good way) and regress into a 16-year-old psycho if you don’t text me back” kind of love. You deserve to feel like a sexual being and have someone around who wants to see you naked all the time and doesn’t mind that you have cellulite or that your stomach has terrifying pockets of fat because bodies are flawed and you better deal with it, bitch.

You deserve to be proven wrong, to be brought back to life by someone’s kindness at a time when you thought that no one would ever love you again. The song does not remain the same. Lo and behold, the person you like actually wants to date you and now you know that you’re not the hideous monster you thought you were. Your faith has been restored. You’re lovable. You have the relationship to prove it.

You deserve to have high highs again, even if that means experiencing the occasional low. You forget the euphoria you often feel when you fall in love. You know on a certain level that it feels amazing but you forget the specifics. Like, how your life immediately becomes a stupid Taylor Swift song and your heart does somersaults over something as simple as a sweet text message or phone call. Every ounce of maturity and pride you’ve carefully cultivated over the years disappears and suddenly you’re just another person who’s fallen in love and is acting like a smitten teenager. It’s totally embarrassing but you’re too happy to care.

You deserve to do annoying couple-y things like making each other mixes, walking down the street hand-in-hand, making out in bars, and posting stupid pictures of the two of you on Facebook. Yes, everyone will hate you but, screw it, you’re in love! You’re owed this experience. You’ve never been that annoying person in a relationship, or at least you haven’t in awhile, so why not just go for it and let everyone know you’re in love? Your internet presence will suffer but who needs validation from the internet when you have a real life person giving you a scalp massage before bed every night?

You deserve compassion, understanding, oral sex, long, lingering make out sessions, and spooning. You deserve to feel safe and spoken for. Most importantly, you deserve passion. Big, messy, disgusting, and beautiful passion. Having that means you’re living and loving with a capital L. You’ve unlocked the secret. You get it now.

You only live once so why don’t you love a lot? Time is too precious to sit around and deny yourself this kind of romantic fulfillment. When you think of all the time you’ve wasted closing yourself off from human connection, doesn’t it make your heart sick? We were built to love. Go do your job, dammit!

You like? I wish you all this in your lifetime. Happy Hump day and have a wonderful day!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Preference or Madness?

My best friend sent me this:

Yes, I personally have played around at home and abroad. And yes, my wife WILL have to be a virgin. How else will I enter into a lifetime contract with the thought in the back of my mind that I'm with a woman who some other guys may have manhandled and dumped? I may be selfish and all, but I have a right to my preference. Honestly, there are some weddings I attend and sincerely feel sorry for the guy, either because I know his bride too intimately, or I know the brides intimate history with other guys who got fed up and in many cases just dumped her. Only for someone else to make her his trophy. Selfish consideration, yes. But I no fit marry anyone from second hand and above. Dats my own thinking o. Period.

This was a comment on Nairaland on Sting's post which was plaigiarized.

At first read, I know a bunch of people that'll be like this guy is crazy or he is so primitive or how silly. I found this amusing because to some extent guys in our generation do have some idealistic, old fashioned ideas like this guy above. I admit this guy is on some deep end stuff but the thing is there are educated, enlightened men who share the same thoughts as he does albeit on varying levels.

I think there are some things we as women consider minute that are a big deal to men. For example, I think a woman could overlook knowing about a previous sexual partner of her man but I have had a male friend tell me that he had an ex who he gelled with in every way but he knew he would never wife her because he was aware of/knew a previous sexual partner of hers. I dunno, on one hand I can see how it might be bothersome but if you are aware your partner isn't a virgin, I think it's part of the package that there's that small chance that you might know someone she's been with. There are some people who believe some sexual acts shouldn't be performed with a wife because it is disrespectful. This one guy was telling me how when he was ready for a wife he went back home to get a wife from his home town and brought her to America. Thinking like that baffles me, like there aren't any good women in the states that you go all the way back to Nigeria with the sole purpose of getting a wife - because you think she will be submissive? Who knows but by the way, this guy's story ended with his wife coming over to the States, becoming a citizen, filing for her mom and her filing for divorce from the dude. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him.

There are a million and one examples, but like the title suggests, I read this and just wondered about the way the minds of these men work. What do you guys think? Can these be classified as preferences or insane thinking?

Have a wonderful week.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Human Brain

In a conversation with a friend of mine, she told me about the three levels of the human brain. I was fascinated by it. She sent me some things and I went to the all knowing google to read some more about it.

So basically, the human brain consists of 3 layers:

  • The Reptilian Complex - This is the most fascinating of the 3 layers to me. The reptilian brain is also called the Lizard brain and likened to reptiles. It is the first and earliest brain to form. If a child does not receive a lot of love and security growing up, this will be the brain they will use most often and always  default to it. This part of the brain is the one that deals with basic survival, instinctive and reproductive functions. These are also known as the 4 F's. The 4 F's are - Feeding and Fucking, Fight or Flight. People who operate mostly on this brain are very defensive. When operating in that brain level, the frontal lobes which is the thinking brain that process and analyze shut down. These people can be very nice and still have no empathy. eg you could be crying and upset but they remain defensive and cannot process any emotion that isn't theirs. They either defend or attack. In summary, the overriding qualities of these kind of people are they are automatic, obsessive, compulsive, have ritualistic qualities and are highly resistant to change. This layer is very active and remains so even in deep sleep.

  • The Limbistic System - This is the second layer of the brain to develop and is a more complex brain. This part of the brain deals with a higher F, which stands for Feelings. This layer associates a lot of events with memory. It is the part of the brain responsible for converting information into memory. Repeated use of it enhances memory storage and memory recall as needed. This layer links emotion with behavior and comes into play in situations that arouse feelings such as fear, pity, anger or outrage. People that use this brain more often generate more nuanced, variable and flexible behavior which leads to them learning. They classify everything as agreeable or disagreeable and pursue a policy of avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure.

  • The Neo Cortex - This is the most recently developed brain also known as the human layer and is sometimes called the level of philosophers, scientists and mathematicians It's where the thinking and computer part of our brain resides. This is what makes language, speech and writing possible. This part of the brain is usually hijacked bu the Limbistic system and therefore reason is put to the service of emotions rather than vice versa. Interestingly, in times of great stress or sexual excitement the reptilian brain takes over and we operate at the most basic instinctive level.
That's the basic summary of the three layers of brain. It all sounds so contradictory which kinda explains why we humans can be self contradictory.  The Reptilian and Limbistic are the older brains and can't speak, they can only feel and act. I found two examples that I thought were interesting.

Example 1

Have you ever wondered why you reach for that pile of hot greasy fries while you tell yourself you are on a diet? It's because you have three brains and the older brains were wired to put on weight long ago when food was scarce while your old brains are not easily controlled by your fancy new brain that reads diet books. (This makes sense because I often say that our generation will try to justify and over intellectualize the simplest of concepts. Someone can tell you, I hate you and we will still be there trying to find ways the person loves you)

Example 2

A man cheats. He is married and loves his wife but feels lust for another woman. He cheats on his wife with another woman. In the aftermath of his rendezvous, he can simultaneously enjoy satisfied lust, feel sad because of his disloyalty and come up with a justification for his conduct. Interesting, no? and hey people, this is not an excuse to go cheating.

Anyways, I'll stop now. This might have been the longest post ever to get together, so hope it makes sense to you guys. What do you guys think?

*I got a lot of info from so many sites that I cannot list them all so I'll put a disclaimer here that if anyone finds their work on here then thank you and I give you full credit. I did however put it all together to make some type of sense.

Have a great day people.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Friday Randoms

Happy Friday guys. Take a moment and thank God for letting you see another morning, another day and another week. It's Friday, yay! I can't remember the last time I have been in a bad mood on a friday. Guys, I truly believe the world is going, rather is mad. There's so much strange news everywhere, it's just quite bizarre. Anyone catch the debate yesterday? I was quite surprised at my level of irritation by it, it was truly so meh. Looks like RiRi got her man back. Goodluck to them. I sit and await the eruption. I am prolly late but if you are like me and haven't seen it, here's a video of Karrueche making fun of Rihanna a while ago -  Too poor. Speaking of poor, this whole Nicki/Mariah thing on American Idol better be staged because it's terrible. Granted, I am not a fan of Mariah but this is a woman and mother in her 40's, please behave. Their tweets to each other are quite frankly ridiculous. Nonsense. Okay, let's random.

I learned something about myself 2 weeks ago. I should be ashamed.

Sometimes, you think to yourself that you shouldn't expect much because you may be disappointed or you don't want to be a burden or whatever else reason. The flip side of that is if you don't expect much then of course much won't be given to you. Raise the bar a little.

Not to be repetitive, but it is quite important to be yourself. A friend of mine, who I think has some ridiculously over high standards met a girl recently that he is giddy about. When he mentioned that she couldn't cook, I nearly fell out my chair. I am like and that's okay with you? And he's like it's not a biggie. Just do you and someone will like you for you...hopefully.

So how many of y'all will date a guy that tells you that he has been in love with a man before a la Frank Ocean style? If yes, would it make a difference if they slept together or not?

I really hope the economy gets better. It's a bit scary the number of people I know who are looking for work.

I am watching RHONY, some lady is organizing a charity runway show. She is trying to pep up someone going on the runway and she says "There's a black woman inside of you, I wanna see her". I paused and scratched my head, Wtf does that mean? The lady she told was like "White women can be strong too". Just all around awkward.

Ok guys, I know I am not a fan of fantasy movies/tv shows eg LOTR but I saw a preview of The Hobbit once and I swear I don't remember what I saw but what I took away from it and is in my head is that there are a bunch of gay, dwarf men roaming the earth looking for a cock ring -_-

Talking to a friend of mine (who is married) and she said marriage is like a cult where they promise you riches and it is not till you get in that they tell you that you have to sacrifice your mom and first son and you can't leave. Before anyone gets up in arms, it was just her humorous way of saying that you never really know what you signed up for till you are in it.

So I watched an episode of the Honey Boo Boo show to see what all the uproar was about and maybe because I saw one episode, I didn't get it but I didn't see anything wrong with it. I won't be watching cuz it is not my thing but what I took from it was this girl is a happy 7 year old who is happy and loved by her family. Yes they are redneck and eat unhealthy and do strange activities but it's what they know. It's how they grew up. Are we penalizing them because they aren't "enlightened" or "exposed" as we are? Americans no get wahala.

Which brought me to my thought earlier in the week that a lot of people in our generation think that they are open minded but we really aren't. We tend to not take kindly or be dismissive of people who think or are different from them.

If you are dating a married man, do you still earn the right to call him your boyfriend?

Myne, thank you for sharing your story with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband and I am sending nothing but positive vibes your way.

Sabira what is your blog url o!

I leave you with a few quotes:

"All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water and that's the tragedy of living" - Iain Thomas.

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

"It took me twenty something years to love myself. I do not have that kinda time to convince someone else" - Daniel Franzese (this made me laugh)

You guys have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe!