Monday, October 22, 2012

Preference or Madness?

My best friend sent me this:

Yes, I personally have played around at home and abroad. And yes, my wife WILL have to be a virgin. How else will I enter into a lifetime contract with the thought in the back of my mind that I'm with a woman who some other guys may have manhandled and dumped? I may be selfish and all, but I have a right to my preference. Honestly, there are some weddings I attend and sincerely feel sorry for the guy, either because I know his bride too intimately, or I know the brides intimate history with other guys who got fed up and in many cases just dumped her. Only for someone else to make her his trophy. Selfish consideration, yes. But I no fit marry anyone from second hand and above. Dats my own thinking o. Period.


This was a comment on Nairaland on Sting's post which was plaigiarized.

At first read, I know a bunch of people that'll be like this guy is crazy or he is so primitive or how silly. I found this amusing because to some extent guys in our generation do have some idealistic, old fashioned ideas like this guy above. I admit this guy is on some deep end stuff but the thing is there are educated, enlightened men who share the same thoughts as he does albeit on varying levels.

I think there are some things we as women consider minute that are a big deal to men. For example, I think a woman could overlook knowing about a previous sexual partner of her man but I have had a male friend tell me that he had an ex who he gelled with in every way but he knew he would never wife her because he was aware of/knew a previous sexual partner of hers. I dunno, on one hand I can see how it might be bothersome but if you are aware your partner isn't a virgin, I think it's part of the package that there's that small chance that you might know someone she's been with. There are some people who believe some sexual acts shouldn't be performed with a wife because it is disrespectful. This one guy was telling me how when he was ready for a wife he went back home to get a wife from his home town and brought her to America. Thinking like that baffles me, like there aren't any good women in the states that you go all the way back to Nigeria with the sole purpose of getting a wife - because you think she will be submissive? Who knows but by the way, this guy's story ended with his wife coming over to the States, becoming a citizen, filing for her mom and her filing for divorce from the dude. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him.

There are a million and one examples, but like the title suggests, I read this and just wondered about the way the minds of these men work. What do you guys think? Can these be classified as preferences or insane thinking?

Have a wonderful week.

14 comments:

Ego Dag said...

I think this qualifies as madness coupled with blatant foolishness. I don't understand this sort of hypocrisy but then why should I be surprised.

So many Naija men in our "generation" are closet "traditionalists" despite all their "modern" ideas about other things.

leggy said...

i will never date a man who specifically wants to date a virgin.

Madame Sting said...

I remember this comment. I wasn't surprised at all. It's madness if u ask me.

LadyNgo said...

I knew that story looked familiar lol. Anyway, its not preference or insanity. Its called male privilege. They act that way because they know they have the privilege of acting that way. They know women outnumber men and that for a lot of women, getting married is a do or die affair and they use that to their advantage to continue on with this foolish line of thinking.

I agree with Ego, so so so many supposedly modern men are closet-traditionalists. I washed my hands long ago lol.

Onakachi said...

Madness.

When guys go to Naija to pick their wives, I wonder too. I have heard some say "there are no good Nigerian girls in America." Yeah right. I have concluded that a lot of them are just intimidated by Nigerian girls in America and hope to get one in Nigeria that does not intimidate them. I could be wrong but that's what I think.

MPB said...

I could not understand the gall of this guy's comment. I wish he stated his thought as a preference, but it wasn't, it was an absolute and he capitalized the letters too for he will not marry a non-virgin. I am sorry but I have to rein my thoughts in from wishing something bad to him.

HoneyDame said...

mchewww....... it is indeeed his preference. Doesnt mean that's what he'll end up with. I hear things are becoming vaguer still in that respect. supposedly, hymens are for sale in China. Isnt the its existence the ultimate prove of virginity? Females can always go one-upper on these yeye people with such an "innovation"

Sugabelly said...

It's comments like this that make me hate Nigerian men. A good number of them have this stupid as fuck mentality.

Ugh, just stay away from these idiotic animals.

Virgin ni, virgin ko

LohiO said...

It's his preference. A stupid preference......the worst part is he has probably been with at least 10 women. Double standards. Olowdow

blogoratti said...

Each to his own really...

Aural Adultery said...

I suppose this guys daughter will never be "manhandled and dumped". How exactly does he establish her "virginhood"? Her telling him?

Rule of thumb on the internet, when someone ends with a variation of "dats my own thinking", they just uttered some epically silly shit.

mizchif said...

Maybe 6 months ago i'd have started my comment with "Madness! Fooloish olodo man". However, i have heard several variations of this same sentiment shared with me these past how many months i've been in naij. And not from some old men, but from young i.e 26-29yr old guys i work with.
It's not any closet traditionalist nothing, it's how MANY, if not MOST Nigerian men reason. Sad, very sad and unfortunate but true.
That is why i don't blame the women that claim virgin even after you know say dem don born.

But like LadyNgo said, it's male privilege and i doubt that it's about to change.
In the end, to each his own.

Original Mgbeke said...

This is reason #12345 why most men annoy me with their stupidity.

Ada said...

what a bastard!