Preference or Madness?
My best friend sent me this:
Yes, I personally have played around at home and abroad. And yes, my wife WILL have to be a virgin. How else will I enter into a lifetime contract with the thought in the back of my mind that I'm with a woman who some other guys may have manhandled and dumped? I may be selfish and all, but I have a right to my preference. Honestly, there are some weddings I attend and sincerely feel sorry for the guy, either because I know his bride too intimately, or I know the brides intimate history with other guys who got fed up and in many cases just dumped her. Only for someone else to make her his trophy. Selfish consideration, yes. But I no fit marry anyone from second hand and above. Dats my own thinking o. Period.
This was a comment on Nairaland on Sting's post which was plaigiarized.
At first read, I know a bunch of people that'll be like this guy is crazy or he is so primitive or how silly. I found this amusing because to some extent guys in our generation do have some idealistic, old fashioned ideas like this guy above. I admit this guy is on some deep end stuff but the thing is there are educated, enlightened men who share the same thoughts as he does albeit on varying levels.
I think there are some things we as women consider minute that are a big deal to men. For example, I think a woman could overlook knowing about a previous sexual partner of her man but I have had a male friend tell me that he had an ex who he gelled with in every way but he knew he would never wife her because he was aware of/knew a previous sexual partner of hers. I dunno, on one hand I can see how it might be bothersome but if you are aware your partner isn't a virgin, I think it's part of the package that there's that small chance that you might know someone she's been with. There are some people who believe some sexual acts shouldn't be performed with a wife because it is disrespectful. This one guy was telling me how when he was ready for a wife he went back home to get a wife from his home town and brought her to America. Thinking like that baffles me, like there aren't any good women in the states that you go all the way back to Nigeria with the sole purpose of getting a wife - because you think she will be submissive? Who knows but by the way, this guy's story ended with his wife coming over to the States, becoming a citizen, filing for her mom and her filing for divorce from the dude. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him.
There are a million and one examples, but like the title suggests, I read this and just wondered about the way the minds of these men work. What do you guys think? Can these be classified as preferences or insane thinking?
Have a wonderful week.
Yes, I personally have played around at home and abroad. And yes, my wife WILL have to be a virgin. How else will I enter into a lifetime contract with the thought in the back of my mind that I'm with a woman who some other guys may have manhandled and dumped? I may be selfish and all, but I have a right to my preference. Honestly, there are some weddings I attend and sincerely feel sorry for the guy, either because I know his bride too intimately, or I know the brides intimate history with other guys who got fed up and in many cases just dumped her. Only for someone else to make her his trophy. Selfish consideration, yes. But I no fit marry anyone from second hand and above. Dats my own thinking o. Period.
This was a comment on Nairaland on Sting's post which was plaigiarized.
At first read, I know a bunch of people that'll be like this guy is crazy or he is so primitive or how silly. I found this amusing because to some extent guys in our generation do have some idealistic, old fashioned ideas like this guy above. I admit this guy is on some deep end stuff but the thing is there are educated, enlightened men who share the same thoughts as he does albeit on varying levels.
I think there are some things we as women consider minute that are a big deal to men. For example, I think a woman could overlook knowing about a previous sexual partner of her man but I have had a male friend tell me that he had an ex who he gelled with in every way but he knew he would never wife her because he was aware of/knew a previous sexual partner of hers. I dunno, on one hand I can see how it might be bothersome but if you are aware your partner isn't a virgin, I think it's part of the package that there's that small chance that you might know someone she's been with. There are some people who believe some sexual acts shouldn't be performed with a wife because it is disrespectful. This one guy was telling me how when he was ready for a wife he went back home to get a wife from his home town and brought her to America. Thinking like that baffles me, like there aren't any good women in the states that you go all the way back to Nigeria with the sole purpose of getting a wife - because you think she will be submissive? Who knows but by the way, this guy's story ended with his wife coming over to the States, becoming a citizen, filing for her mom and her filing for divorce from the dude. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him.
There are a million and one examples, but like the title suggests, I read this and just wondered about the way the minds of these men work. What do you guys think? Can these be classified as preferences or insane thinking?
Have a wonderful week.
Comments
So many Naija men in our "generation" are closet "traditionalists" despite all their "modern" ideas about other things.
I agree with Ego, so so so many supposedly modern men are closet-traditionalists. I washed my hands long ago lol.
When guys go to Naija to pick their wives, I wonder too. I have heard some say "there are no good Nigerian girls in America." Yeah right. I have concluded that a lot of them are just intimidated by Nigerian girls in America and hope to get one in Nigeria that does not intimidate them. I could be wrong but that's what I think.
Ugh, just stay away from these idiotic animals.
Virgin ni, virgin ko
Rule of thumb on the internet, when someone ends with a variation of "dats my own thinking", they just uttered some epically silly shit.
It's not any closet traditionalist nothing, it's how MANY, if not MOST Nigerian men reason. Sad, very sad and unfortunate but true.
That is why i don't blame the women that claim virgin even after you know say dem don born.
But like LadyNgo said, it's male privilege and i doubt that it's about to change.
In the end, to each his own.