Friday, April 26, 2013

Friday Randoms

Howdy folks. How are ya? Hope life's been treating you well. Another month is about to end. It's no joke o, time waits for no man, just zipping through. I am tired of the Spring tease. It's almost May, there should be absolutely no reason why it is cold in Texas. I mean one minute it's hot, next minute it's cold again. I still need a light sweater or jacket. Ridiculous. Anyhueeee let's random...

I know I have listed a million and one things that irk me. Well, I have a million more, so get used to it. In today's irk news, it irks me when people say something and then add *shrug* at the end. I always wonder what the purpose is, especially when noone is fighting the person and it was just a comment made or said "IMHO" or "In my opinion" is another one. I have no logical reason, it just irks me. If you are saying it, then it's obvious it's your opinion and it's up to me to decipher if  you are humble or not :D

What if you have a friend who is doing something you don't agree with or support. What's the line between being honest with the friend and being there for them? Is it also considered being judgmental or standing by what you believe in? Cuz the people we call judgmental it's because they are standing by what they consider their own truth abi?

Have I asked for a life manual before? yes? ok well i am asking for one again.

I went for a professional mixer once and in a conversation, this man mentioned how he'd been at the same job for 12 years. The other guy said, well that must mean you must love your job. The other guy replied with, I don't know about that or maybe this is the only thing I can do and we all laughed. We laughed but it got me thinking, there really might be some truth to what he said. I may not be the most ambitious, conquer the world person but I always wish to do better and progress in my career (and life in general) basically being stagnant is not the motto. For every job rejection I get, my fear resurfaces and I think of that convo and wonder God I hope this isn't the only thing (job) I can be in.

Is it natural inclination for humans to not listen? I mean no matter how much you want to protect someone, sometimes you have to let them learn through their "mistakes". Is it even worth talking? People ultimately do what they want to do anyways.

I see all these pictures with people and their cool poses. Legs crossed, mouth slightly open, looking to the floor. I can't pull those off. I look awkward and silly.

You think you know human beings, but you really don't.

I think Lagos changes people and usually not for the better.

Is your happiness a stand alone or is it based off of being better than others?

Pretty sad news about the guy falsely accused of being the Boston Marathon bomber. His body was found in the river. I can't even imagine what his family is going through. People need to be careful with social media.

Tweets by a friend of mine - I find women make the mistake of forcing a guy make a decision about a relationship with them too early or too late …some will essentially make you decide if you want a relationship on day 1 … some will wait a year to ask "what is this?"

As many as my friend who are having babies that are boys, a lot of their babies seem to look more like their dads than their moms. Pretty fascinating stuff.

Well, that's all I got for you guys. This is my first full weekend in a while where I get to be home and I am looking forward to bumming hard. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Have a good time and as always be safe.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Cool Girl

Some randoms ago, I random'd about how a friend and I were talking and she said something about most girls who have a lot of guy friends tend to let a lot of things slide when they are in a relationship. I also added at the time that my random probably didn't make sense and I am sure it doesn't at this time. I read Gillian Flynn's book "Gone Girl" some time ago and there's a part where she describes a character as a "Cool Girl" - in summary, it's basically the girl who is everything she thinks a guy wants in a girl and anything but herself. When I read that part, I was reminded of my random thinking, "hmm this could be applied to that". So, I'll just drop that part of the book and y'all tell me what you think.

"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.
Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”
PS I have to say I chuckled at an article I read that wondered if the author hated women or if it was just keeping in character with the protagonist. Anyways, let me know. What do you think?

Friday, April 5, 2013

Friday Randoms

Howdy folks, it's yet another Friday. Hope you guys had a good Easter and a good week overall. Today we heard about the passing of famed movie critic, Roger Ebert. It really hit me cuz I really, truly respected him. He also had one of those cases where I ask God why? He went through salivary and thyroid cancer that made him lose his ability to talk (and eat if i recall). If you google his pics, you can see the vast difference in him physically. As if that wasn't enough, his cancer returned and that was what took his life. Sigh. Anyways, my condolences to his loved ones especially his wife, Chaz. May his soul rest in peace. Sorry for the dreary intro.I'll random now.

I actually don't think my thoughts are random today, more like Friday Well Thought Out Thoughts

"Knowing that things could be worse should not stop us from trying to make it better"

I don't think I know any triplets my age.

Why do you think people find it so hard to say "I don't know"?

A friend of mine told me a story of how a dude whose wife just had a baby. Him being the everly, doting husband decided to not stress his wife for sex but instead got 5 steadies, so that way there is balance and order. While that is so crazy given that it is Nigeria, I wasn't so surprised. In the course of convo, I mentioned well not all husbands will do that, it's kinda like saying that there aren't any guys who will be with a girl waiting till marriage for sex and she said you know I actually don't believe there are guys like that, they have people on the side. I thought about it, granted they may be rare, I still believe there are guys like that but she isnt the first person I have heard that from, a lot of people I know don't agree with me. What I did find funny was that I don't believe that guys who live in Naija will wait but those out the country will. lol pretty silly line of reasoning, eh?

I asked a question earlier this week, if you would be willing to carry your sister's baby if she couldn't conceive. A lot of people said yes and I was really surprised. I personally doubt I would. People, pregnancy is NOT beans, it's like...a process. Also, it wouldn't be fair to my husband. If I was going to do it, I wouldn't do it when I was single or before I have had my own kids. Maybe I am just selfish.

I was always of the mindset that people/friendship automatically changes once a person gets married. Talking to a friend of mine, I mean yes, some things change but when there are big changes, it's not because they got married, it's a personality thing. Afterall, even friendships when the person isn't married change, so what's the excuse then? Some people do take the marriage thing as a crown and can't associate with single folk but that's a different matter.

Speaking of that, sometimes mehn people be making it sound like single people have leprosy, it's quite amazing. They don't have the right to say xyz, when they say xyz it's because you are single and haven't been bestowed with the intelligence that comes when a ring is on your finger. Nigerians are something else lol.

It's amazing how my desire to move to Naij is at a 0. I remember when it was at a 1000 in 2008 when I started Grad school. Did my stint in Naij in 2009 and I was for sure that I was moving back right after grad school. I never found a job but i kept looking hard but now? No thanks.

"Sometimes when you are hurt so badly, what hurts might not be what they did but who did it"

If you read your bible by typing in verses and chapters online, does it still count?

You know how when you see a younger person, so full of hope, life, love etc and you remember when you were like that before the real world took over. You would want to say something but it is definitely not your place to shatter anyone and besides when you are young, you believe you are wise beyond your years and you can't tell me nothing. I was thinking about this and you can't project your life on someone else, we all live life based on our reality and what we have experienced. If you watch RHOA, Porscha has an intro that says people say she has a picture perfect life and she does. We used to joke that she lived in a bubble. She said whatever she projected to the Universe she always got and you know what? you can't go telling someone like that nah life is xyz because in her reality everything does go well. I do think eventually though, we all go through the school of life and we all learn life lessons that are important to our growth as human beings.

Based on the above, I went through an incident this week that reminded me how we are unaware as human beings about our fellow human beings. We are all in our own little world, everly ready to prove why the other person is wrong and we are right. Listening and going that one level deeper is fading slowly. 

Ladies who get terrible cramps. Not like ouch here and there, but like serious debilitating pain cramps, please go checked out with your doctor/obgyn. If your flow is heavy also, those two are symptoms of fibroids and per my doctor 1 in 4 black women have those. PSA done. Fellas sorry.

So I heard this quote on Survivor last week and forgot to put this on here. I loved it:
"I feel like I want to say she has a vanilla personality but I'll be doing a great disservice to the vanilla flavor. "People clamor for vanilla flavored things. Noone is clamoring for anything she has to offer"

I did my entry for the365ngproject. You can read it here -

Also, don't forget

Have a wonderful weekend guys!