Friday, November 25, 2016

Friday Randoms

Happy Friday or Happy Friday after thanksgiving. Hope you guys had a good Thanksgiving and had fun with your loved ones. Hard to believe Thanksgiving is here already especially since that means that Christmas is just round the corner. Well, fellow Americas Trump is now officially our president-elect. Congratulations to you all and may the force be with us all. I really don't have much to say and I strongly suspect the few randoms I have, I have mentioned before so oh well :D

I feel like the one thing I won't budge on is a long distance relationship where both parties are on different continents. I am okay with long distance within America but just not beyond that. My aunty recently tried to hook me up with someone in Nigeria and I mentioned this to her and she said she hopes I am not blocking my blessings. But I am willing to take that chance. My argument is for one, I don't have money to be visiting all the time and I think there's only so much you can know about a person. I also enjoy being in close proximity with someone I am dating. That being said it is a personal preference that does not apply to everyone.

Why is it that it's people with skeletons in the closet and basically everything to hide that run for center stage and the spotlight? Do you think there's a secret desire to be caught?

Anyone have the answer yet as to why people date many hundred years and are seemingly good. Get married and then everything goes up in flames within a short period of time.

The other day I saw a tweet by a popular tweeter where she mentioned how last year she was asking her husband to pick up stuff for thanksgiving and this year she is a widow. I went searching and found her blog where she mentioned how her husband was just 34 and had an aneurysm. She mentioned some end of life discussion tips for couples to have, stating that it is never too early too have because funerals cost money and sometimes difficult decisions have to be made. As morbid as it may sound, it made a lot of sense to me. We sometimes think we are invincible but life has its own plans.

Speaking of, was reading a magazine that had an article on a serial killer and it just made me wonder how leaving your house and making it home every day is such a blessing. This poor girl and her boyfriend were just kidnapped and the dude just murdered her boyfriend in cold blood for no good reason. For those of us who live alone it's even more of something because I have also read horror stories by people in the split second when they were trying to open their doors.

This may be odd but I find over ambition - especially the kind by naija guys - a turn off. While it's great to be motivated and want to be something, when it takes over everything and someone is too busy to be present then it's like meh.

I read a tweet the other day that I agree with is that a lot of people are in lukewarm relationships for various reasons. The tweet went on to say that due to this lukewarm situation that's why it is easy for some people to cheat vs. if they were in a passionate, fulfilling one. The question now is we have been told that passion fades. How do you know the difference between meh and natural progression?

Speaking of, I do think any two people put together can make it work and it just depends on the level of commitment both parties have. I think why we hear a lot of relationship/marriage is hard talk is because in all honesty a high percentage of people are married to the wrong person. Very few people get to meet their actual person and the few that do tend to find the whole thing a breeze (I use breeze lightly)

So I watched and read a couple of Yvonne Orji interviews where she talked about her character being different from her real life self who is christian and saving herself for marriage. I had a discussion with two friends about it. One agreed and one disagreed. My take was wondering how she was able to reconcile her character and her faith because based on basic christian tenets don't they clash? For my friend who disagreed, I tried getting her to view it from just the Christian pov and not with the liberal christianity that most of us but she insisted that acting is acting and not real. I said it was more about the message being portrayed and also if her reason was not religion based then it won't be a big deal but since it is, it seemed like a conflict. What do you guys think?

That's all I have for you guys. Have a wonderful weekend, be safe, stay warm, stay blessed and visit www.taynement. com.







Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Double Take

Having a conversation with someone and he was telling me how he sometimes watches a movie first before going to see it with a date or person who constantly asks questions during a movie. I am like huh? Who has the patience for this? He said yup that he knows a couple of other guys who do the same and gave an example of his closest friend who would watch a movie with him first before going to see it with his wife.

I was like if I was a dude, don't think I could I think I would just let them know they asked too many questions and it sucks out all the fun. He said well men would suck it up but would women do the same? and then he painted a scenario of if he told her:

Day 1: Baby, you talk too much when we are in the cinema

Day 2:  Guy: Babe, let's go to the cinema 

            Answer: No, why?...cuz you said I talk too much. I don't want to go anywhere with you again.
            You're mean and made me feel bad. 

            In fact, I don't want to go out to dinner with you again before you tell me that I've put on                     weight. 

            You're always criticizing me and I don't know why I put up with you.

            Guy: I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I don't think you talk too much and you have been the                          same ever since we met.That's why I'm with you. Perfect in ever way.

Clearly, that's an exaggerated convo above but his point was there's no way saying you talk too much would go over well but in their mind it's better to just double watch. Mba o. I don't think I agree. What do you think?


           

Monday, October 24, 2016

Loneliness

I watch this show called 90 Day Fiance. It is not meant to be hilarious but it is. It's basically a show about Americans that fall in love with people who aren't Americans and live in their country. They apply for a Fiance visa and when they get it and come over to America, they have 90 days to get married before they have to leave.

It's hilarious because it's hard to believe what you are watching. Some of these pairings are obvious scams but the American in the relationship can't see it. We have had a couple where the guy was like in his 60's and he married a 19 year old Filipino. Bear in mind he imported his ex wife from the Phillipines ans she left him. We have another couple who has been married 3 times and this is his 4th and of course because Naija no dey carry last. We have a Yoruba demon who actually catfished his now fiancee and even told her that the mother of his son was dead amongst other lies. He still proposed and she said yes, which brings me to the point of my post.

You hear so many stories in life and so many scenarios on social media that you can't help but ponder. I think I have come to the conclusion that marriages nowadays aren't failing mostly because people aren't trying as hard but more because they got married for the wrong reasons in the first place. You see so many things that seem like obvious red flags to everyone but the couple involved and you hear but we love each other. Same applies to staying or extending an already dead relationship. Why does this happen? I think its loneliness.

If you know me long enough, you will know that I think the actual concept of marriage is so bizarre but hey it's how we are wired. Humans long to belong to someone and to find their person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, again it is how we are wired. But that longing, I believe sometimes leads us to bad decision making - justifying bad behavior, landing in a bed you shouldn't be in, staying in an unhealthy situation all in a bid to not be alone.

There are people who genuinely fear being alone/single. Like real fear. Everyone has different fears, so I can't knock them. But isn't it so amazing how something like that can have such a huge effect in our lives? To the point of being okay with being in a mediocre relationship, just as long as they aren't alone.

I have lost my train of thought and I really hope this doesn't come off as me bashing people but I watched Princess on Love and Hip Hop tonight list a whole bunch of nonsense and nasty things she and Ray have done to each other and yet they went ahead with a wedding and that just set something off in my head like hooww? or whyyy? and maybe things are a lot more complicated than I realize but my main point is more about me marveling on how powerful the need to be paired off is that strong a force in our lives.

What do yall think?

Thursday, October 13, 2016

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. How are yall doing? Are you as bummed as I am that the temperatures have dropped? *sad face* and to make things worse daylight savings is round the corner. Ah well, time to bundle up and for the fashion people who won't let us hear word, time to show off their fashionz. I saw someone bundled up the other day. Coat, scarf, boots the works. I am like geez, its still high 60's/70's. Let's observe some calm. There will be plenty of time to dress for the actual cold. Here we go on some randoms:

I don't like when women call their friends "girlfriends". I dunno, just sounds odd to me.

What is faith? How do you find faith? If your faith has not truly been tested, do you really have faith?

I thought it was a phase but clearly guys, I am still struggling :(

Was talking to a friend about her relationship and she just blurted out that relationships are so much hard work and "98.7% people are lying about their relationships and most won't confess about their hardship till you say your own" I put that in quotes cuz that was what she said verbatim.

I think that people often think that the path not chosen might have been a better choice but they don't realize that it almost always seems like the better choice because it is the path that wasn't traveled.

I am watching this show and while I think that I am pretty open minded, I gotta say that I don't know that I will be comfortable dating a trans person (I hope this isn't offensive)

This just made me wonder if the above is in the same vein as maybe a white person saying I don't know that I will be comfortable dating a black person. racism or preference?

All that to say that a lot of  Nigerians seem to think they are modern and open minded and really honestly aren't.

I was in London not too long ago and its much colder there. All the men are in sweats or joggers as they prefer to call it so basically it's dick print galore over there. My cousin was like do they not care that there's just walking around with a protrusion. They don't care or they don't know how to pack it?

That being said, some men aren't capable of having bulges. Their flat fronts are always...flat. Which is not indicative of anything. :)

Is there an equivalent of down low brothers for gay people? i.e a self identifying gay person (not bisexual) who is secretly having sex with members of the opposite sex

A friend of mine said one of the weird things about marriage is there's just certain things you can't talk about. For example, when you have a completely bad ass session with a chick you tell your boys but that's something you can't do with a wife. That gave me all the lolz.

A teacher in my gym class said if she could afford it, she would have more kids because she enjoys being pregnant and would totally be a surrogate. Made me wonder how many white surrogates have carried black children.

It's so weird to me when virgins say things like "it was an orgasm in my mouth" or "orgasm to my eyes". Yes I know they might be virgins who self pleasure. But still weird to me. Nobody said I made sense all the time.

I tweeted today about how Naija women will complain about Naija men die and yet stay loyal to them and date noone else but them. Not unlike how black women stick to just black men. Funny enough, in both groups the men don't hesitate to look beyond and fulfill their own happiness. I wonder why that is.

Okay guys. That's all I got. Have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe and stay blessed. Oh and please visit www,taynement.com

sorry you have to click on another link to hear the song.







Sunday, September 11, 2016

+1

I don't know how many of this I have done but here we are again - another birthday.

I am grateful for seeing another year and this year was interesting. I am a huge birthday person but I think this birthday has solidified for me that it won't exactly be the same for me anymore.

I try to do something for my birthday every year and this year was no different. I was especially looking forward to it because two months ago my body betrayed me and I had to recuperate from that ordeal. I looked forward to my birthday and the trip I had planned with some of my dearest friends. I was looking at it as a thanksgiving and celebration and just grateful to be able to see another year. But on the day, I noticed I just wasn't as gingered as I usually am. I just couldn't stop thinking about my mom and how it's still so weird, we are going through moments in life without her here. I did my best to be upbeat but I acknowledged it. Last year, I figured because it was the first without her, it was normal but I guess this will be the new normal.

That being said, as it was an internal emotion, I had a great birthday filled with a lot of fun and awesome people. Thank God for another year and a hope that he grants many more filled with better days and blessings. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, I appreciate yall and thank you for still hanging on to this blog!!!

Have a great week ahead!!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Friday Randoms

Happy Olympic season to you and yours. I totally forgot the Olympics was this year. Even after I found out, the news reports and athletes dropping out weren't building up the ginger but it's been an eventful one and everything is more fun when you watch it with the twit fam. Kudos to each and every single athlete for their dedication to their sport and to the record breakers, I bow. Lots of back to school ads on TV which means school will soon be back in session which means summer is almost over :(

Speaking of Olympics, I am not sure I know where I stand on the whole drama surrounding Semenya's gender - which I thought was settled in the last Olympics. Technically, she is a man - with high testosterone and no womb but I guess she has a vagina? so where does she stand?

I am not a fan of young people who act like they know and have seen it all. I think there is a sweetness to being young and naive. It reminds me of like a kid who thinks they are grown.

I am also a bit unnerved by people who show no vulnerability. Like you gotta be bionic man/woman to be able to have it together 24/7.

Big life decisions are so scary. How do you know whether it is right or wrong? Risks are sometimes needed but after a certain age, can you afford some of these risks?

It's been some time now, but I noticed that there was not as much emotion for the first female presidential nominee as there was for the first black nominee. I get it. Hilary is hated (still not sure why as she is not the first politician to lie or be crooked) but I can't seem to shake it off that it is because she is a woman that she is held under much more scrutiny. It's funny, I think I know more men than women who like her.

"Your friends are only as good of  a friend as you are"

I don't like when Nigerians who live in the US bash the US. If you really feel Naija is a better place to live in why are you still here? There's no answer that justifies it. The fact that you even had to come here for any reason even if it is just school signifies a deeper problem in Nigeria. Even if you say you are waiting to make money, why can't you make it in Naija?

My wife is a prude she's not really sexual. How does that work? You didn't know that before you married her?

It's such a huge inconvenience taking things to Nigeria for people. Sometimes its not even the actual carrying but the logistics of whoever is getting it over there. It is such a pain. Nigeria is not a place you make plans, you never know where you will be.

I don't think it's cute to wear your flaws like a badge of honor. It's nothing wrong in recognizing it, being aware and work on it but to borderline brag about it is a bit weird.

I think if you are blessed in your life, say you have lived a life of privilege or you have had few and far between hardships in your life etc, I think one should embrace it and be thankful of it rather than create situations to "fit in" with people who may be the opposite.

Support a sister and tell a friend to tell a friend to visit www.taynement.com

That's all I got. I am a bit rusty but hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend.


Friday, August 5, 2016

Happy Friday

Checking in and saying Happy Friday. Hope everyone is doing well. Everyone have a good weekend.