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Friday Randoms

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Just like that, the cold came. Time for coats and chill and for all the fashion people that will be shouting fall fashion and layering. Mschew. I am not happy about this but what can I do. The year is also almost over and for the first time in many years I have no plans for Christmas, which makes me sad but guess it's on par with the majority of this year for me. I don't mean to always be a downer you guys. Please pray for me. I want to be less gloom and more joy.

In the spirit of more joy, I did have a fantastic vacation recently where I got to see my family and that always adds pockets of joy to my life. I went to Cape Town, which has to be one of the most gorgeous places. Almost every place looks like a damn post card in the background and also to Abu Dhabi, which was more of a family wedding, so didn't do as much exploring.

Let me see if I can rustle up some randoms.

This week I found out that the average length of time couples date before they get married is 4.9 years…

Religion

Sigh you guys.

I think I am filled with so much anger and confusion. I recently watched two things back to back that centered around religion that just has me fuming.

First, I watched "3 Wives, 1 Husband" on Netflix. It's about families who are fundamental mormons and believe in polygamy. The reasoning is that having many wives and many kids is spiritual and brings you closer to God. Basically like how God manages the whole world, this is a very tiny fraction of them managing a big, chaotic family. They are uber religious and pray all the time.

My thing is, anytime I watch anything about polygamous marriages, it is almost always guaranteed that the women are miserable and the man is the only one who seems happy with the arrangement. In one of the families, the second wife was so visibly miserable. She barely spoke, arms always crossed. The third wife was like after the honeymoon period was over she was like "What was I thinking?" but nope they keep saying I kno…

Speed Dating

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Not long ago, I went speed dating with a friend. I have been speed dating before, many years ago and actually matched with someone. We spoke a lot on the phone, went on a date but it never led to anything. Anyways, I went because I figured it was something to do that could be fun, so I didn't have any expectations.

Hopefully the picture above can be enlarged but it basically was my summary of the night. I had surveyed the room before we got started and had our 5 mins with each guy and I didn't spot anyone that sparked my interest. Let's just say that the pickings for the night were not of the best quality.

In my extensive history of 2 whole speed dating events the similarities I picked up on was that a lot of Indians seem to enjoy this, there are people who legit do this as a hobby (one guy said he has been to about 50+ of these and also medical doctors - usually Indian again are huge fans). The bunch was so eccentric. I mean the one black guy was so stoned he couldn'…

+1 - Happy Birthday To Me

This is a late one but I added another year to my life and I am thankful for that. I used to be the person so uber excited about birthdays, while it's still kind of cool, it hasn't been the same the last few years but I am still grateful for them.

Whenever my life feels like a tornado (which feels like all the time) the one constant is always my ever faithful friends and family. They just make my life much better and I am forever grateful for them in my life.

For my new year, my goals are:

To continue trying to focus on the positives in my life, no matter how small or big because it makes weathering the storm just a tad bit easier.

I want to be intentional in my happiness. I can't be this old and not put into practice things I have learned along the way or learn from mistakes. I want to make decisions that are bold and fill my happy tank.

To always remember that life is short and make the best of it.

Be appreciative and think I am deserving.

Thank you all for all the birth…

Saturday Randoms

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It's my blog and I can bend the rules right? Today was one of those days. It wasn't a great day. Do you guys ever wonder why life has to be so hard and complicated? or is it just me? Are there people who find life not that hard and uncomplicated? Show yourself and also tag me in! Sigh.

Anyways, I feel fall around the corner. The weather gets a bit nippy in the mornings. That makes me sadder. I am a heat baby. I love the sun and the heat, it just makes things slightly better. Meanwhile, I practically lost all dignity and begged yall for comments and got crickets. Oh well, I take my L and continue screaming to my echoes.

Let's random.

John Cena and Nicki Bella have been playing tag on their wedding and breaking up and making up. There was a scene on their TV show where she says she doesn't want to be the 66 year old woman who started being happy at 63 and that was some honest talk. Why do we always delay our happiness under the hubris that life will wait for us or give u…

Friday Randoms

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Happy Friday y'all. It was brought to my attention that I don't random as much anymore. In my head, I was like I random'd two weeks ago. I checked and I was like sheesh. Time really is flying. I got to hang with my friends' kids this past weekend and it really has me wondering where time is flying. Like, August is literally next week and before you know it the end of the year is here. We just keep getting older and I am like eeeeek! Speaking of, summer is almost over and I hope you guys are having a great summer.

Let's random.

I totally understand that it is different for everyone but there's the widespread belief that your life ends or something akin to it, once you have kids and you can't do anything anymore. But I have friends with kids who still travel as much as they used to, with or without their kids but more so with their kids. So in the case where finances is not an issue, is it more of a personality thing than the notion that kids make everything …

Self Care While Adulting

We are thick in to the summer and I hope you guys are enjoying the warm weather. I am a summer baby and will always always prefer the heat to the cold so I am grateful for the warm weather to step out and not need a jacket or a coat.

Unfortunately, good weather doesn't always make your problems go away and we still have to adult. Adulting comes with so many commitments and priorities that we sometimes forget to stop and smell the roses and take some time out to enjoy life or take care of ourselves. We take it for granted that our bodies will keep going and our friends and family will be there waiting for us when in reality, life changes in seconds. Whether from good to bad or bad to good.

I came across this on twitter and thought these were good guidelines to practice. Figured I'd share. It says to schedule this sometime every month:

1. Lunch date with a friend
2. 24 hours with no social media
3. 1 day outdoors
4. 1 night out with friends
5. 1 date night (even if it is with yo…

Friday Randoms

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I've been a bad, bad blogger. It's so amazing how time sneaks up on you and suddenly its been a hot minute since you have done friday randoms. How are you guys doing in these perilous times we are living in? This week alone we heard of so many losses in Nigeria, preventable losses that is. Let's not even address what is going on in America. Everything is just lining up in favor for our "leader" to continue to spread his evilness, we have had yet another shooting and I don't even know what the hell is going on anymore. Today I tweeted that this might have been what the Bible meant by the end times because everything happening is like emotional and mental warfare and it's just too much.

On the bright side, what an exciting World Cup!

Let's random.

We as humans are quite anecdotal. We'll know one or two people doing something and we will say "everyone i know or a lot of people I know are doing xyz"

The groupthink on social media is truly ou…

Happy Birthday, Anthony Bourdain

Can you believe it has been almost 3 weeks since Anthony Bourdain passed away? Today would have been his 62nd birthday.

The whole situation combined with Kate Spade's is just a sad situation but if nothing else we are in a time where more people are taking notice of mental awareness and being encouraged to speak out more and reach out to people when you need help.

I have been through my dark moments and I know how hard it can be to actually seek out the help so as not to seem like a bother so I can't imagine how much more harder it is for people who go through depression and deep mental issues and aren't really in control of their thoughts.

In some communities, it's almost like taboo to seek professional help but my hope is that more and more people get comfortable seeking that help.

For anyone looking for help or needing a push, we are lucky to be in a time of technology where we can find almost anything online. If you need to take baby steps and maybe talk to someone…

Good Family

I was talking to a friend who lives in Nigeria and she brought up how, in the quest to marry her off she was set up with a guy. When she asked why they thought they'd be a good match, she was told he is Igbo and "from a good home" and that's all you really need. Social media people always type up essays implying not having a good relationship with a parent ruins your dating life and it is oh so important and many other things along those lines.

From a good home.

I've heard this statement so much. What does this even mean? Why does it hold so much weight? Should it hold so much weight? Is it fair to judge a person by that?

Even though I hear it so much among Nigerians, I know it is not strictly a Nigerian thing. But focusing on Nigerians who are the champions of presenting the best face while suffering behind it, how do we define a good home?

If a person has a parent that's an addict is it fair to judge what the kid is? If a person loses a parent early and the…