Wednesday, September 10, 2014

+1

Here we are again. Another year has rolled by and I am one year older. I am currently sniffling with a splitting headache and my throat feels like there's a mini fire in it. My body finally gave out on me on my birthday. Regardless, I am still thankful and grateful to see another year. As always, it's been an eventful year with the good and the bad mixed in together.

I thank you God for everything and I thank you for the Grace to see another year. I thank you for prayers answered and prayers yet unanswered. I thank you for the good people you have given me as friends who genuinely have my best interests at heart. Continue to bless them for me.

Thank you to those who have reached already to wish me a happy birthday. I appreciate you all.

Happy Birthday to me.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

[Guest] Friday Randoms

Howdy guys. Hope you guys had a good week. Man, I only worked 3 days this week but it felt like 500. I totally enjoyed my labor day weekend. Me and some college friends of mine spent the long weekend at a resort in Arizona and it was so much fun. Kinda hard to believe that I have known some of these people for about 15 years and even harder to believe that people I partied with now have kids that they are responsible for. Life goes by fast sha! I have another eventful weekend ahead. Meeen, I miss my lay in weekends at home..ok not really but it's almost coming to an end. Fall is round the corner. Can you believe Christmas is 3 months away??!!!!

Today's randoms are by a friend of mine who has guested before (and you guys loved so much). If anyone would like to guest random, please feel free to hit me up. Here we go:

I have come to the considered opinion that Linda Ikeji is a shameless agbaya. Dazzol.  As they say on twitter, “argue on your TL.”

I saw a lady’s tweet over the weekend saying that a “cocksure” guy hollering at a chick without being “a touch nervous is street harassment”. Wondafu!  She also said that the “MERE (emphasis mine) sight of a group of men on the street evokes fear.” Replace men with black and we’d rightly start forming voltron.  It is one thing to rail against entitled men who misbehave, that’s valid because it happens. I’ve seen it and asked the guys to leave the chick alone. But which kin ebolic yans be this one? So without any action whatsoever, a group of men are by definition dangerous brutes? Sigh, my homie Kermit said I should go and buy sugar for the tea he’s making. I can’t abeg. Oro rirun. Shior!

I will never understand why people feel the need to “announce” their departure from social media. If you want to unplug for a bit do so. Whenever I read an “I’ll be leaving Facebook or twitter soon” post, first thing I wonder is if there’ll be a send forth ceremony and how much the aso-ebi is?

You know you’ve overdosed on wedding planning mode when as a guy, you find yourself voluntarily watching, nay DVRing “Four Weddings” on TLC.

Speaking of wedding planning, I was talking to a white coworker (guy) the other day. He too is in wedding planning mode and is pulling hair out. Women often complain about guys not wanting to be involved in the wedding planning and leaving it all to them. My coworker’s problem is that he actually has an opinion. He started out not sending oh, then his fiancĂ© got on him. Now, dude genuinely cares what colour the napkins should be in relation to the tablecloth and other finicky stuff. This is causing wahala, but I must agree with the guy. You can’t start vexing when awon boys now have an opinion when they originally didn’t send. As for me, let’s just say that I’ve been affirmatively nodding like an agama lizard drinking quite a lot of tea lately. That is the solution to world peace in these situations.

Ehen question: Is there a derogatory word for white people in any Nigerian language? Oyibo simply means a white person. It’s descriptive, not derogatory. Funny how we have a derogatory word for American blacks (Akata-which means wild cat), but don’t seem to have one for white people. At least none that I’ve heard sha.

Translate “sha” as used above to English. Please tell me what you come up with because I can’t.              
See ehn, I don’t get people who just balk at trends in an attempt to appear too cool for school. Let us look at the ALS Ice-Bucket challenge trend for instance. Until a couple of weeks ago, many people had no clue what ALS was. Now many people do and money has been raised for ALS research. That’s a good thing. If you don’t want to pour ice water on your body and shake in the frigid cold like a cow’s dick afterwards, that’s fine, but allow people who do.  
“There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.” Maya Angelou. I like very much. That was me years ago.
The adigunjales (armed robbers) at United are now selling December tickets to Nigeria from the U.S at $2500. Fear God na. See ehn, those who take a wife and two kids to Nigeria during Christmas season are the real heroes. Especially when you realize that for that amount, there are so many other places one could visit.  Unless there’s an event like a wedding or funeral, Thailand dey, Dubai dey, Hong Kong dey, Carribean dey, ati bee bee lo. (etcetera). One will now use all this money to travel to Nigeria to experience NEPA, go-slow and “what did you bring for us?” relatives. Diarris God.
Then again, authentic Suya and roasted groundnut questionably bottled in a used bottle of Schnapps is worth the trip.
A friend shared this link which lists 10 ways to sound smart in a meeting a work. I LOLed because I’ve done quite a few of these https://medium.com/comedy-corner/10-tricks-to-appear-smart-during-meetings-27b489a39d1a
Movie recommendation: The Hundred Foot Journey starring Helen Mirren, Manish Dayal, Om Puri and a remarkable looking Charlotte Le Bon (Loved her accent too).  Saw it over the weekend and loved it. Taynement, expect a review.
Prayer request for the week: That the almighty God in his infinite mercies should smite (yes smite) my new neigbour’s incessantly barking dog, so that I can sleep. Lord hear our prayer.
Taynement here - so, my friend's sign out song was Sia's "Chandelier", as I have posted that before I decided to overrule and post a song choice of mine (It's my blog and I post what I wanna *sticks tongue out*). Thank you for the guest randoms!

There was absolutely no bias in choosing this song -___-


Tuesday, September 2, 2014

The Writer

You wait for a silence
I wait for a word
Lying next to your frame
Girl unobserved
You change your position
And you're changing me
Casting these shadows
Where they shouldn't be

We're interrupted
By the heat of the sun
Trying to prevent
What's already begun
Oh, you're just a body
I can smell your skin
And when we feel it
You're wearing thin

Oh, but I've got a plan
And why don't you be the artist?
And make me out of clay?
Why don't you be the writer?
And decide the words I say?
'Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it's too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?

Sat on your sofa
It's all broken springs
This isn't the place for
Those violin strings
Oh, I try out a smile
And I aim it at you
Oh, you must have missed it
You always do

Oh, but I've got a plan
And why don't you be the artist?
And make me out of clay?
Oh, why don't you be the writer?
And decide the words I say?
‘Cause I'd rather pretend
I'll still be there at the end
Only it’s too hard to ask
Won't you try to help me?




Thursday, August 28, 2014

Mercy on Me

Lord have mercy on my soul
For I have walked the sinful road
That I'm down on my knees
Lord have mercy on me, please

Ohh yeah

Jesus, I must confess
That in all my loneliness
I've forsaken and I've sinned
Leaving fragments of a man so broken

I could tell you what I've done
Or should I tell you where I went wrong?

Well the more that I start to play
My deceitful, evil ways
Keep on growing stronger by the day

Oh lord have mercy on my soul
For I have walked a sinful road
So I'm gonna get down on my knees
Beg forgiveness to help set me free
Lord have mercy on me, please

Mother Mary full of grace
In my weakness, I've lost faith
I've been careless, and I have been warned
And the devil inside me is torn
God bless the men that I have scorned

So don't let me fool around no more
Send your angels down to guide me through that door
Well I've gone and confessed my regrets
And I pray I'm not held in contempt
I'm so lost, and I need you to help me repent

Oh lord have mercy on my soul
Oh I'm begging, I'm pleeding, I'm needing
I want you to know
So I'm down upon my knees
Oh lord, I need forgiveness
I need forgiveness from you








Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Broken

Not a quitter, 
But I need to give up this fight 
For my sanity, my pride 
Do I leave? Do I stay and try? 

Cause any minute, 
You will say the words goodbye 
Give me love, then change your mind 
And break all that I am inside 


That's why I'm never gonna love this way again 
I'm never gonna give my heart again 
Cause every time I try 
I end up broken 
I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh) 
I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh) 
I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh) 
I end up broken (Oh oh ooh ooh) 

These are stars 
These are the days 
And they shine for you and me 
So tell me why do we stand in the rain? 

Cause any minute, 
We will both be killing time 
Tryna save you and I 
And that's no way to live 

Someday you'll miss my love 
Yes my love 
You'll remember what you had 
And I'll forget the past 
And move on to someone else 
A love I can feel 





Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Who You Are

Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh yeah yeah I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error
I nearly left the real me on the shelf
No, no, no, no, no,no

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

Tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are

Who you are, who you are, who you are
Who you are, who you are, who you are no no no no no no
Who you are, who you are, who you are who you are who you are
Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah
The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no,no,no,no

Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart

But tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising
There's nothing wrong with who you are


Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are
Yeah, yeah, yeah



Monday, August 25, 2014

Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And the worst part is there's no one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me