Thursday, June 22, 2017

Friday Randoms

The official first day of summer was yesterday. Ope o! We haven't been able to fight off the rain but at least we have the warm weather going. Soon come, the sun will follow it and shine wella wella. Everyone always asks if you have plans for the summer. I have absolutely zilch plans. I think the only one plan I have is to try paddle boarding. My friend said she was gonna teach me how to. That's about it. But hey, life is what happens while making plans, right? The question is probably what plans does the summer have for me? Last summer was a nightmare, so let's hope it's kinder to me this year. Time to random!

What makes a person a selfish person? What would make you call a person selfish?

Think of a relative or immediate family member you love so much and respect and one day you hear that they have been accused of sexual assault. What do you do? I see people give so much grief to people who still are friendly with their family members that have been accused and I just wondered, if your relative tells you they didn't do it. Wouldn't you be inclined to believe them?

A coworker told me a story of how he was so mad at his ex moving on so quickly even though he cheated on her while they were in a relationship. loool. men are interesting.

Why is it so hard for men to listen to a woman vent? Do they think we are that helpless that a solution has to be offered?

You know...perception is reality. People will always see what they want to see. You can laugh and joke and list all the happy things you have mentioned but if someone wants to see you as this angry, sad person then that's exactly what you are. They'll only remember the moments that corroborate with that perception.

I was being a dolt with my friend and the heifer completely called me out on it. After eating humble pie and apologizing, I gotta say I was hella impressed. Respect.

The world has progressed and we now have coed baby showers. In my mind guys are coerced to come for them but then again is there a chance they actually enjoy it? Why did it become coed?

If you are with a woman who has not orgasmed from sex with you. Will that bother you?

I heard somewhere that when a woman cannot orgasm from sex that it is a mental thing like maybe there's not a complete or deep connection/trust formed. Someone disagreed with me but I think I actually agree.

While we are on the subject, there's no such thing as not knowing if you had an orgasm or not after sex. You can't miss an orgasm. Not sure why people say that.

I find it weird when Nigerians categorize a period of time with yankee seasons. Then again it's only summer they use. It's hot all year round :/

Irks me when women call other women "babe"

The Kardashians have turned anxiety into something you pick up at the store. Every little thing, they have anxiety.

In my big age, I am learning how to let people be. People aren't always receptive to input especially if you weren't asked. Everyone is grown and perfectly capable of doing things they're own way even if it is different from mine. It is not something that comes easy for me as I feel like I've lived 500 lifetimes and have a lot of knowledge to impart on different situations lol. But yea, valuable lesson.

That's all I got for you beautiful folks. 4th of July is next weekend. Hope y'all got big plans. Make sure you do it big for two as I will probably be my usual boring self and hang out with my TV. Have a lovely weekend!






Friday, June 2, 2017

Friday Randoms

Happy Friday yall. This week was the longest short week ever at least for me. It was so busy at work and I just felt lethargic from my travels last weekend. Speaking of - it's amazing how American Airlines continue to find levels to being the shitty airline that they are. Tufia. We are in June but last week somehow, we were in the 50's. The sun is out now but who knows how long it will last. Ah well. Let's random.

For some reason, I used to think masturbation wasn't really needed when married. (Don't even ask me why I don't think it applies to being in a relationship) as per regular knacks. Anyways, I know better now but I wonder if the stats show that people masturbate less when married? But as I type this, I remember they say you have less sex as the years go by so maybe not? Yup, what a mess of a random. Jumbled thoughts.

I'd like to end up with someone who knows me in and out and can read me like a book. Is that a lofty wish? like the actual someone being able to know you that well?

There's such a thin line between a lot of things. Like thin line between self confident and arrogant, . Weird. Who decides what keeps things on either end of the line.

I am having such an epic mid life crisis. Nothing makes sense these days. Life is hard *sobs*

One morning, I realized I was chatting with 4 different people and we were complaining about work. Totally realizing that one should be grateful to have work to complain about but man that 9-5 can wear you down man. The politics and bs and your fate being in someone else's hands. It gets tiresome.

Why is it that other races look out for their own peeps except us black peeps? I remember when I was unemployed and went to the Black MBA conference. The black peeps were so snooty and condescending. I particularly remember this one lady that was so condescending to me. I actually cried that day sha. Maybe it was unemployment stress that made me react but she actually said she wanted to "mold" me as I have potential. Someone that probably wasn't much older than me. Na wa. A friend pointed out that some of them reach a certain status and want to be the only ones so to speak among the elite.

I am still so fascinated by social media. I observed a friend curating pics for the gram from a trip and it was so...interesting. I hear people talking how xyz viewed their pics and didn't even like it. And it's mentioned so casually like that's a normal thing. I think sometimes before I post something I ask myself what my motivation is. Is this to show off or let people know I'm living the life? or is it purely of no intent? It's so easy to be caught up in the world sha, we are still humans afterall. Shoo, I wish real life was like that where I can curate the life I want.

Speaking of toxic. I stopped listening to The Read. I just didn't like the vibes and it became all mean girl-y. They're kind of obnoxious too and just stay cursing people out and they are always right. Blech.

What are your thoughts on giving back an engagement ring if you break up? Whatever your stance can you tell me why you think so? Thanks!

www.taynement.com and www.rewatchingmadmen.blogspot.com

Yall have a great weekend. If you have good weather, enjoy it!


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Friday Randoms

Hiya folks. Long time no see. Summer is here! I love summer. Feels good to walk out the door and feel the sun on my skin instead of bitter cold winds. You will never catch me complaining about summer afterall for those of us who grew up in Naij, this was the weather we had all year round. I just got back from an awesome vacation but it has slowly faded to a memory as work just hit me in full force. I had like 5 back to back meetings today and I got home so drained. The 9-5 life can drain you sha. Just dealing with the corporate bs takes all the energy out of you. Let's random:


I have a recollection of randoming this before but it's my random and I will repeat if I want to. Our generation like to think that they are all open minded and non judgmental but there's a side eye when someone says they are not having sex or waiting till marriage.

Is it so terrible to say "if I get married" vs. "when I get married". Why do Nigerians think it's speaking ill will vs. really not knowing what your future holds?

I just finished reading this book called The 7 Levels of Intimacy (which I recommend to everyone especially anyone in a relationship). I don't know that it said anything so new but I liked how it broke down things. One of the things addressed was how success in a lot of things requires discipline but a lot of us don't want to apply it. Which is why we are always looking for quick fixes eg a quick way to lose weight vs the discipline required to eat less and work out more.

There was this thread on twitter that asked what was the craziest bible story to you? A lot of the responses just made me think that it's best not to scrutinize Christianity and the Bible with your brain because you would totally be left scratching your head

There are some things I see on social media that I know I would NEVER share but you know, sharing is relative. There are some things I am okay sharing that someone else would probably think is too much. Anyways, my point is there are some really open people and I have to say I admire them. There's something that seems so liberating about baring everything.

I don't know about you guys but most of the guys I have dated have been so closed off. When I was younger, I fooled myself into thinking that it was sexy and mysterious but now that my eyes have shined, I think it's such a stupid thing. Saying "that's how guys are" is also stupid. Fight me.

It's annoying when you have a big ass and people reduce you to just your ass. Guy hollers - oh, of course he did, look at all that ass or why are you single with all that ass you are packing? Ugh

I am so fascinated by Married at First Sight. In a recent episode one of the ladies said something that struck my soul. "It's so easy to love me during my lovable moments but I just realized that I have never had someone love me through my unlovable moments". Deep.

Wonder how catfish became synonymous with duping someone. Why those two creatures? cat and fish? why wasn't it something else like dogcrab? or horsecricket?

Unpopular opinion: on some level, I think eloping is a tad bit selfish. I totally get the no money for a big wedding angle but I think a dinner or a little party of loved ones is always doable. You guys know I have a thing about people all over you during their bad times and ditching you once they are situated and happy again. I think a celebration with all the people who care about you and who have been there through the bad and rough relationships is only right.

You know how I say people never see you the way you see yourself. Most people think they are a good person but what if you are not?

That's all I got for ya. Have a wonderful weekend. Take advantage of the great weather and be safe!


Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Risk

Anything worth having in life begins by taking a risk.
 
Risk is the Universe's way of pushing us to become more than what we are.
 
Risk is faith at the edge.
 
Risk is the pulsating essence of life.
 
Without risk, we are automatons going through our days with no purpose or meaning. 

We are safer, perhaps but we are also ironically, closer to death.

Saturday, April 1, 2017

2 Years

Today marked the second anniversary of my mom's death. There is a one week span between her birthday and her death so this year it (birthday) fell on Sunday which I didn't know was the UK and Naija mother's day, so that was like eek. It's been an emotionally nerve wracking few months but you know...life goes on.

It's been a weird emotion. I think at the back of my mind the countdown to the anniversary always begins from the start of the year and automatically takes me back to January of the year she died and how we felt every month to her death till then. Kinda like replaying it over. I still replay the day she died a lot in my head and everything I did that day right down to what I wore. It's ironic that at the moment she probably took her last breath, I had just deposited money for her hospital bills.

When she first passed, I got a lot of "it never goes away but it gets easier" and 2 years down I can't say that I have reached that level (and maybe it's too early). I don't think I have ever shed these many tears in my life this last year. The first year it was strictly just the pain but now it's like it has graduated and now manifests for no reason or for any tiny reason. It still feels so raw and surreal and painful mostly because almost everything is a reminder of her and everything I will never get to share with her.

For her anniversary, I decided I wouldn't let it be a day of wallowing and sadness and just honor her memory and try to be as upbeat as I can. I got a little sad when I got some texts and my cousins had her pic up (it's still a bit difficult to see her picture) but that passed. My brother face timed me by her graveside and we said a prayer. We've talked about the anxiousness of the approaching day before hand and talk a lot about how we feel day to day so that's helpful.

I'm grateful for the time spent with her and grateful for her life spent and to have been her child. Mama, you'll forever be in my heart. Love always. May your soul continue to rest in peace.

(Thank you all for listening to my ramblings. It helps a bit to write sometimes)

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Friday Randoms

Howdy Ho folks. There is one more day till March ends and just like that Q1 2016 is over. That being said, cold still dey catch us for here. Hey, Spring anytime you're ready show face o. We dey wait you. I had a great vacation two weeks ago in Vegas. I went to see my Backstreet Boys and it was so worth it. They still got it and it made me nostalgic for a bit. I lost my voice actually. Sounded like a toad for a few days. Good times with good people and I even won some money from the slot machines! The bad thing about vacation is you get back and its like you never went. Stress of real life hits you straight inna di chest as soon you get back like you never left. I don't have much randoms for yall today but figured I'd still drop the few I got. Here we go...

Had a conversation with someone who has very interesting and different views on life. One of the things he views differently is how people focus on certain things as the big things/decisions that determine our fate. For example, how people wonder should I go to this college or not?, should I take this job or not? because we believe whatever our decision us will have a big impact. He thinks it's the little every day decisions that we don't even think about or put much thought into that shape us more than that. Things like what we choose to eat everyday, picking up a phone to call someone, deciding to attend a party (where you might meet someone who has an impact on your life). I could see his point. What do you think?

You know how we always say certain reality show people are boring. my friend says that it's a fear of hers that she yabs some characters and think she is not that way or would appear different but what if you are actually boring and you just don't know it because you don't have cameras on you.

It's a wonder to me how people work out during lunch. How much does one get in in an hour? Is there enough time to change before and after and also shower? Maybe they have two hour lunches?

Speaking of work out, I really wish I was proficient in running and yoga

I know such is life but there is something a little sad about seeing about seeing someone in their late 40's go through heartbreak. I am not sure I can explain it but I have this thing about not dating the same way I dated in my 30's. Living longer, knowing better and doing better. Also, I feel like we put in time in heartbreaks younger and it seems a bit unfair to still be hurt in the older years. Make sense or nah?

Sometimes when I say I'm sleepy, the party on the other end of the convo says "why?" seeing as a number of people respond that way, I am assuming it's normal but it makes no sense in my head. Well, because I didn't get enough sleep or...I'm just sleepy. I have no idea why the feeling is in me. It's like if someone says "I'm hungry" and someone asks "why?" They didn't eat or they just are hungry.

Someone told me I was dark the other day. I didn't argue. Really can't. I know what they meant. It's a bit sad but it is what it is. I wish it were different but it isn't. I acknowledge my flaws and also acknowledge my attempts to be/do better.

You know that game we play where we guess who is good in bed just by their outward appearance or mannerisms and zero fact. Well I think Nicole Kidman would be good at the sex but then Keith Urban looks dry, which made me wonder what their sex is like (don't judge me, it's called Friday RANDOMS) :D

Well, that's all I got. Have a wonderful and safe weekend.





Thursday, March 16, 2017

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. Happy friday. As I type this, I am so tired. Work is kicking my ass and I am so burnt out. But much needed vacation starts tomorrow and it couldn't have come at a better time. We had a snow storm few days ago and it's quite cold here. Guys, what is going on in our country o?What kind of wickedness giving to people? How can these people expect to make heaven? On the other side, North Korea is ready to show us pepper. Okay o. Keep on rocking, 45. Keep on rocking. Anyways, let's random.

You get married. Your partner dies. You find out he/she has been cheating on you. How do you even mourn? Who do you direct your anger to?

Was talking about this with a friend and he asked if I had a friend in this situation who didn't know their partner was cheating and I knew, would I tell my friend? I had to think about that for a second but I don't think I will because at this stage, what is the point? It just seems cruel. How about you, would you tell?

My brother is younger than me and has not been married up to a year but I gotta tell you that I admire his marriage.

Man. Being a human being is so hard. Sometimes I wish I was more carefree and not so by the book or so aware. Life would probably be much simpler and I'd enjoy it more.

Last year, Shonda Rhimes "Year of Yes" was the best book I read. She mentioned something called Blue Sky Syndrome. Where she implied that human beings are more in love with the idea of making goals and existing and getting comfortable in the idea of having goals than actually achieving those goals. I think she speaks some truth.

I read this on someone's blog. To paraphrase "When things usually come easy for you, it's easier to give up on things quickly when things get rough" agree or disagree?


I have been binge watching Golden Girls on Hulu. The show has held up really well. Also, the shade on that show is on one hunned. Anyways, it led me to a google worm hole where I learned 3 of the 4 costars died in succession in 2008, 2009 and 2010. Betty White is the last living star and I wonder how she feels. How aware is she of her mortality? Heck. How does it feel when you are really old and know that inevitably, death is around the corner.

Speaking of death. It's such a pretty scary and traumatic thing. It's such a cruel thing that is part of the life cycle and I am not sure how we are supposed to keep on living and functioning as normal.

What does it mean when a person moves on so fast? Does it mean they never cared or they genuinely just moved on that fast?

Someone recently asked me what I have learned from self help books about happiness and I said: It's easier to be happy when things are going your way. Probably sounds like an obnoxious answer but it's true. They seem to have some reference point of a breakthrough that made them want to be happy. The closest book I have read was Rick Warren's wife's book but it came before her son committed suicide. I would love to hear her take on finding happiness after such a devastating loss. I think that would resonate more with me.

Being a parent seems like hard work

I am always surprised at certain things people don't know. I just haven't figured out yet if I am the exception or the anomaly

I am rewatching Mad Men from beginning. If you'd like to watch along with me, I am blogging each episode at http://rewatchingmadmen.blogspot.com/

Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend!