Sunday, September 11, 2016

+1

I don't know how many of this I have done but here we are again - another birthday.

I am grateful for seeing another year and this year was interesting. I am a huge birthday person but I think this birthday has solidified for me that it won't exactly be the same for me anymore.

I try to do something for my birthday every year and this year was no different. I was especially looking forward to it because two months ago my body betrayed me and I had to recuperate from that ordeal. I looked forward to my birthday and the trip I had planned with some of my dearest friends. I was looking at it as a thanksgiving and celebration and just grateful to be able to see another year. But on the day, I noticed I just wasn't as gingered as I usually am. I just couldn't stop thinking about my mom and how it's still so weird, we are going through moments in life without her here. I did my best to be upbeat but I acknowledged it. Last year, I figured because it was the first without her, it was normal but I guess this will be the new normal.

That being said, as it was an internal emotion, I had a great birthday filled with a lot of fun and awesome people. Thank God for another year and a hope that he grants many more filled with better days and blessings. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday, I appreciate yall and thank you for still hanging on to this blog!!!

Have a great week ahead!!

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Friday Randoms

Happy Olympic season to you and yours. I totally forgot the Olympics was this year. Even after I found out, the news reports and athletes dropping out weren't building up the ginger but it's been an eventful one and everything is more fun when you watch it with the twit fam. Kudos to each and every single athlete for their dedication to their sport and to the record breakers, I bow. Lots of back to school ads on TV which means school will soon be back in session which means summer is almost over :(

Speaking of Olympics, I am not sure I know where I stand on the whole drama surrounding Semenya's gender - which I thought was settled in the last Olympics. Technically, she is a man - with high testosterone and no womb but I guess she has a vagina? so where does she stand?

I am not a fan of young people who act like they know and have seen it all. I think there is a sweetness to being young and naive. It reminds me of like a kid who thinks they are grown.

I am also a bit unnerved by people who show no vulnerability. Like you gotta be bionic man/woman to be able to have it together 24/7.

Big life decisions are so scary. How do you know whether it is right or wrong? Risks are sometimes needed but after a certain age, can you afford some of these risks?

It's been some time now, but I noticed that there was not as much emotion for the first female presidential nominee as there was for the first black nominee. I get it. Hilary is hated (still not sure why as she is not the first politician to lie or be crooked) but I can't seem to shake it off that it is because she is a woman that she is held under much more scrutiny. It's funny, I think I know more men than women who like her.

"Your friends are only as good of  a friend as you are"

I don't like when Nigerians who live in the US bash the US. If you really feel Naija is a better place to live in why are you still here? There's no answer that justifies it. The fact that you even had to come here for any reason even if it is just school signifies a deeper problem in Nigeria. Even if you say you are waiting to make money, why can't you make it in Naija?

My wife is a prude she's not really sexual. How does that work? You didn't know that before you married her?

It's such a huge inconvenience taking things to Nigeria for people. Sometimes its not even the actual carrying but the logistics of whoever is getting it over there. It is such a pain. Nigeria is not a place you make plans, you never know where you will be.

I don't think it's cute to wear your flaws like a badge of honor. It's nothing wrong in recognizing it, being aware and work on it but to borderline brag about it is a bit weird.

I think if you are blessed in your life, say you have lived a life of privilege or you have had few and far between hardships in your life etc, I think one should embrace it and be thankful of it rather than create situations to "fit in" with people who may be the opposite.

Support a sister and tell a friend to tell a friend to visit www.taynement.com

That's all I got. I am a bit rusty but hope you all have a wonderful and blessed weekend.


Friday, August 5, 2016

Happy Friday

Checking in and saying Happy Friday. Hope everyone is doing well. Everyone have a good weekend.

Saturday, June 11, 2016

Blind(ing) Faith

Yesterday my TV was on WEtv and "Stepmom" happened to be playing. I hate watching movies on TV so it was more background noise as I read a book. I did however catch a scene where the mom, dying of cancer has an honest talk with her children about when she is gone and leaving an it inspired my blog post.

See, when my mom passed part of my anger and sadness was the fact that we never "said goodbye" so to speak. Never asked all the questions I had, had all the discussions or the advice one gets when you think you will be losing someone. As I have randomed before, I don't think I expected my mom to die - which in retrospect is something seeing as all the signs were there and the doctors kept trying to tell us in the best way possible that there was nothing else that could be done.

Which brings me to blind faith. I had a serious crisis of faith after my mom passed. It was like being hit and being shaken off my axis. It has been an intense struggle and one I am still struggling with and nothing seems to be helping. Watching that scene, just made me wonder whether faith helps or hurts. If I didn't feed into the typical Nigerian faith would it have been different, would I have made peace and feel better now.

I think about how every time all the signs would point to "not good at all", my first thought would be to chastise myself for not standing strong in my faith and believing that she would be cured vs. facing the realities of what was happening. My aunty and some other Nigerian people who I reached out to for prayers, scolding me when I tried to vent and saying stop thinking like that, just believe! and now I am kicking myself.

How do you separate faith from blind faith. I just heard a story of a couple that have been trying to have a kid for years. Due to health issues, she had to resort to IVF. 4 tries and it didn't work. Doctors said she had a less than 5% chance of getting pregnant and leaning towards giving up. She didn't and had faith and now she's pregnant. When do you know when to keep on trying and believing and when to give up, face realities and make allowances to prepare and adjust.

Faith requires suspending all logic and trusting completely in God. But as we don't know his overall plans or what is happening here , how do you forge ahead. I understand how it gives hope and helps one deal but I also see how it hurts especially being Nigerian. Every thing is seen as demonic, people with mental issues are not being helped because God will take care of it, things aren't being frankly discussed because you are thinking negative and you have to believe and think positive. When does faith become blinding.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. it's been a long time. My hubris led me to my last post thinking you guys were missing me and I would be flooded with suggestions and inspirations. The big fat crickets in my comment box brought me back down to earth. Hehe. How now. How have you guys been. I've been okay, just living life day to day. I am super stoked that summer has finally arrived. Like we are hitting 90's now and I am so happy to see the sun. I am also grateful for the upcoming memorial day holiday. Ain't doing shit but bumming is fun too. I think I am burnt out from work. Anyways, here are some randoms...

I've never really understood the obsession with life on earth after death. I have a friend who is so obsessed with leaving a legacy which isn't wrong at all but my mindset has always been do the best you can while here and be good and kind to those around you and when you're dead issalloverjackie.

It irks me when people hide their ages. I think it reeks a little bit of insecurity. Met a girl recently at a conference and we were talking about a topic that was age dependent but she went all out of her way to hide it and made it such a big deal, it was just annoying. I've never been one to be coy about my age but maybe I am missing something. What could possibly be a good reason to hide your age

Is it weird or normal to wish a non mother happy mother's day

It's quite a shame that girls can't just do what they want sexually without worrying about their reputations while men are just slanging it out there with not a care in the world about being labeled hoes.

I want to be the kind of girl that makes her bed everyday :(

If you follow me on twitter, then by now you should know that I have been binge watching Gilmore Girls from beginning. I have made it to Season 4 (it's 7 seasons) and I just wanted to say that I hate Lorelai so much and Rory is just a yoruba demon disguised as an innocent girl

Is entertaining something that comes with being married/being a couple or is it something that's just innate in people. I noticed a lot more of my married friends tell me more about having friends or other couples over for dinner but I don't think I notice that with my single friends.

Speaking of entertaining. I am definitely not an entertainer or host. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety. i have to be like uuuuubber comfortable with you to cook for you. I am no slouch in the kitchen but I often wonder what I would serve if I was hosting people. I still can't think of a menu.

It takes nothing for a driver to get me so revved up. Happened to me this morning and I was so embarrassed for myself. But some people drive so stupid, I don't even understand why it gets me so riled up. It's not worth it.

"Your task is not to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it"

Someone posted an article on marriage not being an accomplishment. While it is not something that I think will be admitted out loud, I think in some little way, people consider it to be one. Especially in our naija culture. And I don't necessarily consider it a negative.  I have had a friend tell me she doesn't know how she would handle it if she was single and my age. So isn't being a certain age and being married an accomplishment (my question mark button doesnt work). Also, when people date, isn't the end goal usually marriage and when that is achieved that's an accomplishment, no

It's not news to me that the way men and women see attractiveness is quite different. K Michelle is an example. Her disproportionate self is just .... to me but I know a couple of guys who don't see it as anything. But then again, I always tell my guy friends that they won't use ass to kill them.

It's really not fair that men can procreate till the day they die and women have a shelf life

Which makes me ask...if you tink am really well, all belief suspended and with logical mind, if you read the bible, doesn't it seem like Christianity doesn't like women. Are there any self identified feminists that have a hard time reconciling that with being Christian

That's all I got for you guys. I hope you have an enjoyable holiday weekend. Eat, drink and be merry and stay safe!




Thursday, May 12, 2016

Waves

Hi guys. Just waving. I have not forgotten about my blog, i just haven't had anything that has inspired me enough to write so I am coming to you guys for ideas. If you have any suggestions please feel free to mention. I am all ears. Have a lovely weekend guys!

Thursday, April 14, 2016

3 Theories and a Question

Last week or maybe 2 weeks ago, I had 3 different conversations with 3 different guy friends of mine that had me going hmm and because I love hearing your thoughts and opinions, I figured I'd bring it on down here and see what you think.


THEORY 1

My friend believes that a person who is messing with someone in a relationship has nothing to feel guilty about. He believes the onus is on the person who agreed to a monogamous relationship or said vows. He says the person technically isn't cheating on anyone. The taken person is the one taking actions that affects their relationship.

THEORY 2

My friend beleives that statistically more agreeable people are off the market and go off the market fast. I tried to give the examples of how some people who gave ultimatums and didn't have the best attitudes were off the market and he said it proves his point because it means they ended up with an agreeable person. An unagreeable person would probably be like "ain't nobody got time for that" but an agreeable person decides to tolerate. He says how do you think fucked up people get off the market. because they marry saints (which made me think of Jamie and Doug from Married at First Sight).

He says these people pair off and you are left with the people who are set in their ways, people who still haven't sorted out their issues and once you are over 30 and dating you begin to see this more clearly. He says women bear the brunt of this more because men can avoid this issue and just marry a young girl.

(The original convo was about how much more difficult it is to date after a certain age and the pool you are left with)

THEORY 3

I asked my friend if he believed in love. He said he did but the caveat is that he thinks it has an expiration date. He says he beleives at the beginning of a relationship there is love and all the mushy stuff and as life intervenes and couples settle in it becomes more about the life you have together. You get used to the routine and the comfort of having a person who knows the routines and you and you don't even realise when the transition happens. He says so much is invested at that time and it's not like you are unhappy so it is really more of a hassle to leave than to stay in a comfortable situation.


Now, these are 3 theories I have never really seen from this view point, so my initial reaction to all of them was to disagree but

Theory 1 - I dunno I think there should be guilt involved but technically it is true that the person isn't cheating on anyone and they aren't breaking up a home, the person who decided to step out already broke that home

Theory 2 - I don't know if I viewed this objectively because I am in the over 30 demographic, so my first reaction is to be defensive because that will have to admit to not being "agreeable" to some degree but thinking about it later, I see where he is coming from.

Theory 3 - I can see this too especially because the one thing I have heard from a lot of people is how kids change everything and the realities of life. Where I get jumbled is if you are comfortable and not unhappy for the most part, what's the big deal then. Then I remember I didn't ask about happiness but about love. I always say love is not enough to sustain a relationship which implies a relationship can continue without the giddy love. Tina Turner told us a while ago anyways "what's love gotta do with it"

ps love means in love-giddy love. the basic i care about you love still remains between the couple


I would REALLY LOVE to hear what you guys think about these three theories. Have a lovely weekend and stay blessed.