Thursday, February 15, 2018

Friday Randoms

We are halfway through February! Felt like January took forever and now we are whizzing through February. Weather is still cold but nothing too terrible. It just keeps fluctuating between low temperatures to mid-decent. Looking forward to the advent of Spring though. Nice weather is always welcome.

2018 has been okay so far. Okay, not meaning without its trials but I am trying to enjoy my 2018 as much as I can and handle disappointments as best as I can, especially the things I cannot control. I'm trying not to overthink and to just go with the flow and maybe the Universe will be kind to me. In that vein, I tried something I had never done before and went skiing last weekend and it was terrifying guys!! I took a lesson and many falls and practice later, I got the hang of it and it was a bit exhilarating but I was stressed for most of the time. Here's to many more exhilarating moments in the year.

Let's random.

I really hope people with good health really and truly appreciate it. It's such a debilitating thing when you have something that controls your life in so many ways. Emotionally, physically, financially. Like it's not cancer but it's still such a weight. If you have good health just say a quick prayer of thanks to Baba God for all the things you never have to worry about.

It's so truly frustrating when you tell someone something and you don't get the response/reaction that you want because then you have to pause and remember that everyone is different, everyone is not a mind reader and expectations always have to be managed.

Human relations is exhausting.

I truly realized that there are actually people that don't know how to process bad or negative emotions. I mean, I am all for thinking and being positive but didn't they watch Inside Out? We need to go through negative emotions to balance things and make us well rounded.

Everyone thinks they are self-aware. You think you are the exception and are actually self aware. You are wrong.

A friend of mine said something scary that with the state of the nation + lack of gun control, the thought crossed her mind that some loco person could decide to go all racist and take advantage of a whole bunch of black people in one space. I reject this happening by God's grace but the craziest thing is that this is a valid thought in the world we are living in right now.

Please can someone tell me what people talk about when they date?? I'm seeing some scenarios and people will tell me "oh they had no idea". I was listening to a podcast and this girl had no idea that her boyfriend couldn't read...for 3 years!!! 3! How do you not figure out your boyfriend couldn't read? Are people that self absorbed?? Are people good at hiding who they are? Or are people just sticking their head in the clouds just so they make it to the end game of having someone? What in the world??

A friend of mine said that she thinks she is terrible at giving gifts because she is selfish. I never really thought about it but she might be on to something.

Guys help support a sister and please visit my sister blogs at and We are also on instagram @nightstands2. Thank you! Please spread the word.

That's all I got for you guys. Hope you have a fantastical weekend.Stay safe and stay blessed!

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Friday Randoms

Happy Friday guys. Thank God for making it to the weekend. Even though it felt like it took forever for it to get here. How about this winter, huh? Just showing up and showing out. Even our friends in the south are part of the party. It's payback for the mild winters we have had. How's everyone's first month going? Still feeling gingered and optimistic and sticking to intended goals? Hope your answer is yes and if it isn't remember every day is a new day. New day to start over and begin again.

Let's random.

Talking to a friend about legacies and impact on people when you die and I think unless you are a truly heinous person, everyone becomes a hero when they die. It could be the most minute thing or even if it is that this person was the life of the party or a random high school/college memory for the most part people are remembered as remarkable.

Life is hard guys :(

Perspective is such a tricky thing. It's amazing how we can see things from one perspective and be faced with something similar just different situations and be completely blind to the perspective we had when we were on the other side.

When you drill deep down, fear is the driving force for most decisions we make in our lives. A lot of us are not bold.

I truly believe that those who give won't lack

I am aware I have a lot of irrational pet peeves. In today's edition, I hate being told "duh"

People will tell you private stuff and then regret it. I've learned that in most cases it's best not to follow up as they do not like the reminder that they were vulnerable to you at some point and have moved on or have a clearer head on the situation.

I really enjoy blogging. I currently run 3 blogs and post consistently on them. It never feels like a chore to me and it's fun

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I am that annoying person that likes to talk things out, have it out in the open and dead it. You know that saying that is something like "They will kill you and say that you like it" basically when a person doesn't know that they are doing something you don't like, you can't hold it against them. I recently did that and got a response that read like "this one has come again"

Which leads me to something I have said before, people really don't like honesty, they just think they do :(

That's all I got for you this week. The weather is supposed to be kinda nice this weekend for us on the East coast so I hope to enjoy it. Have a wonderful weekend. Stay warm and stay blessed and leave a comment or two! let a sister know she is not speaking to herself :D

P.S re: my song choice. I watched Coco and instantly fell in love. I loved every bit of it and had me listening to the soundtrack on repeat. This is my favorite song on the album.

Monday, January 15, 2018

Happy New Year

Happy New Year guys. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I had a wonderful holiday and a reminder that family is everything. The only bad part about the holidays is post-holidays when you have to go back to reality and face all the aftermath of the things you pretended didn't exist - work, calories, bills/bank account, real life everything.

There's a sect of people every year who question people that choose to see the new year as a fresh start and say what's different? every day regardless of date can be a day for a fresh start. I don't see why it matters. To each their own. There is a reason we have markers in life - birthdays, anniversaries etc. it's just how it works. You can't pick and choose.

I like to see the new year as a fresh start but as the years go by it has become depressing because each year I seem to be faced with seeing my failures vs. my accomplishments (since people like to tell me they exist). I remember the first time I saw the saying "The more things change, the more things stay the same" and I asked what it meant and now I COMPLETELY understand what it means even if I might not be able to explain it.

A friend gave me a 5 year journal in her words so I can see the progress when things finally turn around for me. But the thing is seeing the same things year after year with no turn around doesn't help my mental state.

But the thing about life is it never stops. As people and life progress and you feel stuck, life won't stop for you because you aren't special. Just one more living being in this vast expanse called the universe. So there's no choice but to keep on trucking and hope for a miraculous breakthrough.

So as I sit here pondering my future and feeling scared and uncertain, I still say here's to 2018 and as usual, here's to hoping for a better year because another thing about life to never forget is that, it could turn for better or for worse in a second. Here's to hoping for the better.

Happy New Year.

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Friday, December 22, 2017

2017 Year in Recap

I really hate doing these but I think they are good as someone who is not good at maintaining memories, it's good to have these things down so you can look back and see how far you have come or how you are still in the same place.

Overall, I think I had a pretty decent year. I started out 2017 with all the hope and expectations in the world. I even followed through and made a vision board. I am not sure if I will ever do one again. Here's the thing, I am one of those people that aren't really stuck on goals and outlining stuff because my life has shown me that it doesn't follow an outline and always turns me on my head because there are things I did not account for and that changed everything else.

Sooo that's a long way of saying that nothing on my vision board was really achieved which doesn't necessarily translate to a bad year. I had two things that I'd consider major dings that happened to me this year but you know what? I've gotten quite used to my dings so we move and i'll get past it.

Some highlights:

I had a decent year health wise. I still made plenty visits to the doc and my house still looks like a mini pharmacy but any year without surgery is a success for me. So I am grateful for that.

I really did a lot of traveling this year which was unexpected considering I said I was going to give traveling a rest this year to focus on some debt (See what i said about goals/plans?) Besides my domestic travels (I still haven't visited a new state in years waah!), I got to visit 5 new countries and finally got to visit Asia. I had a great time and was glad I got to go

The two biggest things I learned this year was valuing myself more and learning to let things go. The latter is still a work in progress but honestly, stressing myself out was not really helping me in any way and I realized that things always work out eventually. Whatever you are going through that feels like the biggest situation in the present will pass and sort itself out but just taking a breath and accepting as things come is just the better option.

I got to mend two friendships that seemed sort of rocky in the past and I am better for it. I don't have much family here in the States and my friends are really my family so it always feels nice when things are good on that end.

The world is awful but there are decent human beings around. I get to see them in my friends and in people I haven't even met in person. My group of friends are such personal cheerleaders and they always lift me up in the many moments that I am down. I never feel like I am alone and that's a nice feeling.

Not so major, but I finally got a book blog running with my friend and I. I enjoy reading books so I am glad we finally got our lazy asses and started posting considering we got the domain some time ago. If you'd like to check us out, we are at

Those are the main points that I can think of really. Overall, I am thankful for the year. I know there were many times where I doubted myself and I still struggle with finding hope and being positive. It can be a difficult thing when you feel like your life is crumbling and everyone around you is flourishing but these are the times when I have to stop and take the moment to be thankful for the seemingly little things that could easily be taken for granted.

I wish everyone a happy holidays and an even better year. Here's to all good things happening in our lives in the new year (if 45 doesn't fuck us over). Thank you for still reading my lil ol' blog and once again MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Friday Randoms

This is probably going to be the last randoms for the year and it's unfortunate it's going to be a lame one as I only have less than a handful of randoms. But I figure I'd just give a little something. I thought about combining it with a Year in Recap post but I figured that didn't go together. I am traveling for the holidays and can't figure out how to pack my stuff without worrying about it being too heavy. I always want to travel light but as an overpacker, I always fail on that front.

Here are my handful of randoms:

Everytime I travel with someone or just in general there's always much ado about sunset. Don't get me wrong, sunsets are pretty but are there differences in sunsets? Do people really appreciate it so much or have we just been told that it's something we have to make a fuss about.

There's something unfortunate about being the boisterous one in any kind of relationship and maybe boisterous is the wrong word. Maybe the more outspoken one? Because it always makes you the villain when an issue comes up. Like a case of *state issue* and then it's like "What did you do?" I'll give an example - Tamar and Vince. Tamar is not without her issues not at all but like every other human, Vince isn't either but because Tamar is the "wahala" one it's easy to paint her as the villain everytime. While Vince is the chill one so it can't be him.

Nothing annoys me more than being told how strong I am. Okay that's a lie, a lot of things annoy me.

Case in point, I hate being given advice when I didn't ask for it. I think it's reflex to provide suggestions but sometimes it could be a case of venting cuz being the overthinker that I am, chances are I have probably thought it over. On the flip someone could tell me something and because they didn't specifically ask for advice, I'll keep mum and it could come across as uninterested. My issues are plenty.

Apologies are nice. But they can also be annoying because it's meant to serve as a vanishing stick and take away the hurt or annoyance it caused. What happens if the person isn't ready to receive it?

Well that's all I got for you guys. I wish you guys from the bottom of my heart a very merry Christmas. Hope you get to have a good one surrounded with love and you feel the reason for the season in your heart. Merry Christmas!!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Friday Randoms

Whoosh! It's been a while hasn't it? I have received a few texts asking where randoms are. My bad guys. It's been so busy and I have been traveling. This weekend is the first weekend I can put my feet up and relax. Maybe I can finally start Stranger Things 2. Can you believe Thanksgiving is next week?!! Wow guys, another year almost down in the books. I am tired of getting older *waaaah!*

I am looking forward to the holidays though, just down time from work and resting. I always get senioritis once Q4 hits. Smart me started Christmas shopping early so it's not so overwhelming. Just waiting for my bank account to cooperate so I can be done faster. Oh yea, winter is here. Broke out my coats. Anyways, enough yacking. Let's random.

I noticed recently that whenever I got into a debate with friends, I got hit with "It's not that simple. You are over simplifying things". All men.

Time has passed but I honestly still feel like my mom passed yesterday. I sometimes physically feel it. It also hits me at the oddest times. I most recently bawled my eyes out in the parking lot of a mall. Anyways, I am still looking for ways to manage my grief or maybe answer questions is a better way so I read books that allude to helping. So far I haven't found any. The last one was a huge disappointment. But I just got another recommendation that I will try. If you guys have any recommendations please feel free to let me know.

We all have our good and bad traits. When people choose to focus on your bad traits, it hurts. That hurt feeling sometimes serves as a reminder when I start veering towards making the sum of a person based on a bad trait exhibited.

Not a fan of this snap back culture. I am that annoying person that makes a comment to the E! twitter account when they tweet about a mom with a 6 pack just 2 weeks after birth! It's hard enough when you have to worry about it in every day life talk less of being a new mom with hormones and stress.

What do you think it means when everyone our age is always tired? people stay complaining about not getting enough sleep and dragging through work. The scariest part is when these people don't have kids. What are we going to do when we do!

Fake pastors who stay preaching the word is such a trip. Like every day you preach about going to hell for not following the rules meanwhile you know you are scamming. Meaning you don't believe what you are saying? For you to not have fear, I have concluded fake pastors actually don't even believe in God.

I find it kinda weird that Obama was/is close to perfect. Do you?

A friend of mine thinks that our generation is not equipped to pick life partners because most of us are not honest with ourselves about ourselves and actually lack self awareness. He says he thinks the people he sees with strong marriages are emotionally healthy. Had to stop him right there. Not sure if that exists, as I have randomed before we are all fucked up :)

A friend of mine gave me a tip that I follow. To save yourself from declutter, whenever you get any new item of clothing, get rid of something in place of that new item. So now I keep a trash bag by my closet so whenever something new comes in I throw immediately into the bag and when it's full it goes straight to donation. There's a tip for you! But on the real, it's come in handy and definitely one i find valuable.

Well that's all I got for you folks. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. Stay warm and Stay blessed.

Tuesday, October 10, 2017

Way Too Much


There's like way too much going on in the world. What in the fuck is happening??!!

My friend says it has always been this way but we are just way over exposed now. Which is probably true. My only social media involvement is Twitter and it has been so overwhelming that I can't imagine how I would have managed the news cycle on all the platforms.

The most current headline is the whole sexual harassment scandal with Harvey Weinstein and all the dregs its bringing up. Dredging up all the ugliness that is being harassed by men in power and the silence women have to go through. Right on its heels is the whole kneeling saga and the NFL really thinking they have the right to tell players what they can or can't do. Let's not forget our Commander In Chief and the endless sound bytes he provides us.

What propelled me to write today is the whole NFL shit show. Because it's just another indicator of things that have always been. As if as black people we haven't been oppressed enough. First of all, the kneeling started as a protest to black men being slaughtered (you damn straight i said slaughtered) by men who are supposed to protect us and people/government acting like it's just another day in the office when it would be nice to be seen as people.

Somehow, somewhere along the way the narrative has changed to the flag and anthem being disrespected and vets not being honored or some bullshit. Like huh?? And then now the NFL issued some statement that all players have to stand.

Here's what really gets my goat. I can't help but see it as yet another form of oppression. I could be wrong but I think I heard the same instructions given for NBA players. Assume that's true, why is it the leagues that have a generous number of black players where this is issued? Why does a team owner think it's okay to tell a grown ass man what he can't or can't do?

What we consider entertainment is a job for these men. Most of these men got into this to escape the hood and a system designed to fail them before they even start. This is now their livelihood. These owners know this. Now you put them in a bind on what to do as they are dependent on a salary. I mean, how many of us would leave our 9-5's to stand up for a principle when we have bills to pay? How much more can we take? It just frustrates me to no end.

Americans truly have a knack for missing the mark because somehow the Weinstein saga has turned to night watch on who is commenting and who is not and who is standing up for who and isn't instead of focusing on the person who committed the crime and vilifying him. Ugh.

A white guy...oh sorry "kid" as the media refers to him, just shot a police officer dead and was apprehended. Alive. But let it be a black man who is unarmed and all of a sudden trained police officers fear for their lives. Oh and the officer who tackled and cuffed a nurse fighting for her patient's rights just got fired. Don't think any of the beast who shot black men dead have been fired so quickly, if at all.

I don't know. I am probably rambling but my heart is sick at all that is going on. It's even sicker because I don't have the hope that some have that this is pulling back the veils that some have on what the country is really like and will propel change because while I agree that the veil is being pulled back, I also think the people in charge are giving confidence to the ugly hearted people who now feel even more comfortable spreading their heinous crimes.

BTW fuck everyone who voted for Trump or said Hillary was just as bad. You must be out your damn mind.