Friday Randoms

I feel like I don't post anything on here anymore except for Friday Randoms. I need to do better. Sometimes, I have posts but I write them in my head and never transfer them to a computer. Hows everyone doing? Hope all is well as we are about to approach the 6 month mark of the year. I've been irritable all day. I just finished watching the Scandal finale. I have to say it's much more fun watching it with fellow twitters. Funny enough, a fellow tv addict and friend of mine were discussing Scandal and we put it in our category of "empty calorie" tv. It's entertaining and fun but it's definitely not in my Top 5 of shows, mostly because it's fluffy, soapy tv. Speaking of finales, I am so glad this is the week of finales cuz I get to have a break from my suffocating tv schedule and can catch up on shows that are on my to-watch list. Before I random, since I bitch about comment stinginess, I think it's only fair I thank yall for your comments. So thank you for taking the time to stop by, read and comment! Okay let's random.

I met someone who just went through a divorce (she's 34). I asked what went wrong. She said they just weren't compatible. She married someone that was a "good guy" compared to the previous guys she had dated and it wasn't till marriage that she noticed that maybe they weren't so compatible (ironically they dated 4yrs married a year and a half). Got me thinking about when people say choose a "good guy", while I get focusing on the important qualities, I don't think people should go so far deep and deviate from qualities they find attractive.

Something I noticed the lady above mentioned above is "we didn't live together", she seemed to think that was a big factor. I noticed a lot of Americans think it's a bit strange to not live together before marriage.

Was watching a show and a gay nale couple said they always have exciting sex whenever they are out of town and I wondered how exciting can male gay sex be? Are there different moves and actions like hetero sex? Is doggy their missionary?

As much as I think I am open minded, I gotta tell you if my kid came to tell me that they were transgender I really think I'd be so devastated. Dunno how I will handle it.

You know who is winning? People who don't have to work but live the good life. Latest gadgets, labels, vacays etc. That's the good life right thurr.

I wonder if flight attendants that fly the Naija routes get paid extra. We are a handful.

When the topic of marrying someone your parents don't approve of comes up I have had the same stance for a while but most people don't seem to believe me. My parents have to give me a valid reason why they don't approve for me to reconsider but best believe if it's something petty like tribe, traditional beliefs, religion etc. I will thank my parents for the years we have had together and do what I need to. My mindset is, parents have led their lives, it's time for me to live mine. It's their choice to not get over it. If you do choose to do their bidding and you are unhappy, God willing they are supposed to die before you. When they pass then what? I'd rather take the chance and even if it fails it was my choice and it's their job to love me and be there for me. Plus, do you know how hard it is to find someone you click with? then i will now say ok bye cuz you are hausa or something like that. And just in case I am close to my mom so it will def hurt if I am ostracized. What do you think?

"Do yall know what self-esteem is? Olivia Pope has a lot of it. Her piss poor love life decisions does not mean she sees herself poorly" someone tweeted that. and I disagreed. I feel self esteem plays a part in it but a friend of mine disagrees. I do think that it makes a difference if you consider what Fitz and Olivia have as love. This girl right here does not believe that is love at all at all.

Another tweet I saw "Treat and Pepa were the best hip hop couple minus the alleged beating" Things like that remind me of when people make arguments and say minus xyz. That's a pretty huge factor we are minusing. It doesn't disappear.

How would you define the American Dream?

Is it chunk the deuces or chuck the deuces?

It irritates me when people think they are the authority on what guys should or shouldn't watch. Oh you watch Scandal or Housewives or Love and HipHop then you are not a real man. ok.

Where did this "shalla" thing come from? Is it new or has it always been around?

Ok have a pleasant and wonderful weekend guys. Love this song to bits.

Friday Randoms

Howdy folks. Happy friday to ya. Can you believe it's May? It's May and spring is still playing peek-a-boo with us. I walked out my house yesterday and it was like 48 degrees and oh so windy. Had to grab a jacket. Sigh. It's been a long week and I am so tired, I need a vacation for real. I have had this nagging headache wondering if it's my new glasses. Speaking of glasses, I wish I had the balls to undergo Lasik, but I am a bit scared of it. I am so tired of wearing glasses and contacts. Ah well, enough of my woes. I don't have many randoms today but una go manage. Less go.

You know the concept of a Naija buffet restaurant is a little puzzling to me. I mean, what do you eat? Most of our foods are so heavy that I wonder if maybe that's the genius of it? I mean after you eat one wrap of fufu or eba, will you now have space for fried yam or rice or add beans to it. Quite interesting.

Jennifer Lawrence is quite popular and all right now and the media says she's every girl's girl. I was just thinking while i do like the girl, I don't think she's like hot. She seems normal. Speaking of hotness, Gwyneth Paltrow as People's most beautiful woman in the world is quite hilarious. My picks - If current relevance (no movies/music or anything out at the moment) doesn't matter, I would have picked Charlize Theron and if relevance mattered, as much as I don't care for her, Sofia Vergara would have been a good pick. Her iron is quite hot now.

Man, have you watched the Central Park 5 documentary that aired on PBS? A doc on 5 teens who were wrongfully accused of raping a woman in Central Park and were sentenced to life. It eventually came out that they were wrongfully charged and were released. I hate injustices man. I still haven't finished it. These kids were like 14. I mean, how do you get those years back?? Ugh.

Yesterday, was talking to one of our vendors who just had a kid, I asked if he planned on having more and he said he has no idea but if he never does he is still content. He was told that he'd never be able to have kids and chances were low and he still can't believe he has one and is so grateful for that. That really touched my heart. The little blessings we take for granted and also a reminder by God that ultimately it's his call, no matter what Doctors say.

Speaking of kids, a bunch of my friends are in baby phase and boy have i heard my fill of baby/pregnancy stories and it's all different. Was talking to a friend of mine about cramps and she said she hadn't had one cuz she is still breastfeeding. I was like whaa? (her kid is about to be 3). Oh that's something else I just learned through "baby phase", didn't know as long as you're breast feeding you get no period. Yes i am clueless. Anyways, back to the matter I know I wouldn't want to still be breastfeeding my kid when he is 3 but as she explained her reason, I remembered what one of my friecnds told me. She said having a kid made her realize the competitiveness among moms, whether consciously or not. She said it sometimes feels like they try to one up or think they are better cuz they did xyz as opposed to xyz. So i pushed out any judgemental thoughts I might have had about my friend still breastfeeding cuz ultimately everyone has their styles and just like relationships, its whatever works for you.

Ok so, I may or may not get heat for this but I don't get the concept/term - bisexual. I'll explain. I get the meaning and what it is, I just don't "buy" it. I think people are born gay or straight. I don't think people are born bisexual. That's a man made choice. A bisexual person is someone who doesn't care who they love or have sex with, man or woman as long as they get love. I also think anyone who identifies as bisexual has a stronger leaning to either being gay or straight.

The whole Jason Collins announcement was interesting. If someone comes out as gay and supports gay movement - they are applauded but if you speak about your beliefs and how it doesn't align - you are condemned. Now don't get me wrong,  I am all for acceptance but if someone like Chris Broussard did speaks against homosexuality as being a sin etc but isn't being hateful about it just being honest, I don't see why he should be vilified. I remember one of these beauty contests, the contestant was asked about gay marriage and she gave her answer as a christian. No hate or nothing and comments were that she gave the "wrong" answer.

There's always something in this life. Imagine being the healthy sibling/twin to a sickly sibling/twin. I mean, it's great to have your health but it sucks being the neglected child and everyone else is fawning over the sick child who would probably trade anything to be healthy.

This whole Plan B pill being available OTC for kids 15 and up is weird. I think it should have been done at like 18 and if under 18, there should be parental consent.

There is a high increase in auto correct errors (even from me) and it irks me.

Umm so oops, I guess I did have a number of thoughts, hehe. You guys have become miserly with your comments :( but if you can, I'd love to hear what you have to say or your thoughts on these. Lengthy comments welcome. Have a wonderful weekend, be safe and stay blessed!!!

oh and don't forget..www.taynement.com

This new Wizkid song is my jam!! I just want Sarz to be my friend but noone wants to hook it up.

Friday Randoms

Howdy folks. How are ya? Hope life's been treating you well. Another month is about to end. It's no joke o, time waits for no man, just zipping through. I am tired of the Spring tease. It's almost May, there should be absolutely no reason why it is cold in Texas. I mean one minute it's hot, next minute it's cold again. I still need a light sweater or jacket. Ridiculous. Anyhueeee let's random...

I know I have listed a million and one things that irk me. Well, I have a million more, so get used to it. In today's irk news, it irks me when people say something and then add *shrug* at the end. I always wonder what the purpose is, especially when noone is fighting the person and it was just a comment made or said "IMHO" or "In my opinion" is another one. I have no logical reason, it just irks me. If you are saying it, then it's obvious it's your opinion and it's up to me to decipher if  you are humble or not :D

What if you have a friend who is doing something you don't agree with or support. What's the line between being honest with the friend and being there for them? Is it also considered being judgmental or standing by what you believe in? Cuz the people we call judgmental it's because they are standing by what they consider their own truth abi?

Have I asked for a life manual before? yes? ok well i am asking for one again.

I went for a professional mixer once and in a conversation, this man mentioned how he'd been at the same job for 12 years. The other guy said, well that must mean you must love your job. The other guy replied with, I don't know about that or maybe this is the only thing I can do and we all laughed. We laughed but it got me thinking, there really might be some truth to what he said. I may not be the most ambitious, conquer the world person but I always wish to do better and progress in my career (and life in general) basically being stagnant is not the motto. For every job rejection I get, my fear resurfaces and I think of that convo and wonder God I hope this isn't the only thing (job) I can be in.

Is it natural inclination for humans to not listen? I mean no matter how much you want to protect someone, sometimes you have to let them learn through their "mistakes". Is it even worth talking? People ultimately do what they want to do anyways.

I see all these pictures with people and their cool poses. Legs crossed, mouth slightly open, looking to the floor. I can't pull those off. I look awkward and silly.

You think you know human beings, but you really don't.

I think Lagos changes people and usually not for the better.

Is your happiness a stand alone or is it based off of being better than others?

Pretty sad news about the guy falsely accused of being the Boston Marathon bomber. His body was found in the river. I can't even imagine what his family is going through. People need to be careful with social media.

Tweets by a friend of mine - I find women make the mistake of forcing a guy make a decision about a relationship with them too early or too late …some will essentially make you decide if you want a relationship on day 1 … some will wait a year to ask "what is this?"

As many as my friend who are having babies that are boys, a lot of their babies seem to look more like their dads than their moms. Pretty fascinating stuff.

Well, that's all I got for you guys. This is my first full weekend in a while where I get to be home and I am looking forward to bumming hard. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Have a good time and as always be safe.

Cool Girl

Some randoms ago, I random'd about how a friend and I were talking and she said something about most girls who have a lot of guy friends tend to let a lot of things slide when they are in a relationship. I also added at the time that my random probably didn't make sense and I am sure it doesn't at this time. I read Gillian Flynn's book "Gone Girl" some time ago and there's a part where she describes a character as a "Cool Girl" - in summary, it's basically the girl who is everything she thinks a guy wants in a girl and anything but herself. When I read that part, I was reminded of my random thinking, "hmm this could be applied to that". So, I'll just drop that part of the book and y'all tell me what you think.

"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men – friends, coworkers, strangers – giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I’d want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn’t really love chili dogs that much – no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They’re not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you’re not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn’t want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version – maybe he’s a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he’s a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn’t ever complain. (How do you know you’re not Cool Girl? Because he says things like: “I like strong women.” If he says that to you, he will at some point fuck someone else. Because “I like strong women” is code for “I hate strong women.”)”

PS I have to say I chuckled at an article I read that wondered if the author hated women or if it was just keeping in character with the protagonist. Anyways, let me know. What do you think?

Friday Randoms

Howdy folks, it's yet another Friday. Hope you guys had a good Easter and a good week overall. Today we heard about the passing of famed movie critic, Roger Ebert. It really hit me cuz I really, truly respected him. He also had one of those cases where I ask God why? He went through salivary and thyroid cancer that made him lose his ability to talk (and eat if i recall). If you google his pics, you can see the vast difference in him physically. As if that wasn't enough, his cancer returned and that was what took his life. Sigh. Anyways, my condolences to his loved ones especially his wife, Chaz. May his soul rest in peace. Sorry for the dreary intro.I'll random now.

I actually don't think my thoughts are random today, more like Friday Well Thought Out Thoughts


"Knowing that things could be worse should not stop us from trying to make it better"

I don't think I know any triplets my age.

Why do you think people find it so hard to say "I don't know"?

A friend of mine told me a story of how a dude whose wife just had a baby. Him being the everly, doting husband decided to not stress his wife for sex but instead got 5 steadies, so that way there is balance and order. While that is so crazy given that it is Nigeria, I wasn't so surprised. In the course of convo, I mentioned well not all husbands will do that, it's kinda like saying that there aren't any guys who will be with a girl waiting till marriage for sex and she said you know I actually don't believe there are guys like that, they have people on the side. I thought about it, granted they may be rare, I still believe there are guys like that but she isnt the first person I have heard that from, a lot of people I know don't agree with me. What I did find funny was that I don't believe that guys who live in Naija will wait but those out the country will. lol pretty silly line of reasoning, eh?

I asked a question earlier this week, if you would be willing to carry your sister's baby if she couldn't conceive. A lot of people said yes and I was really surprised. I personally doubt I would. People, pregnancy is NOT beans, it's like...a process. Also, it wouldn't be fair to my husband. If I was going to do it, I wouldn't do it when I was single or before I have had my own kids. Maybe I am just selfish.

I was always of the mindset that people/friendship automatically changes once a person gets married. Talking to a friend of mine, I mean yes, some things change but when there are big changes, it's not because they got married, it's a personality thing. Afterall, even friendships when the person isn't married change, so what's the excuse then? Some people do take the marriage thing as a crown and can't associate with single folk but that's a different matter.

Speaking of that, sometimes mehn people be making it sound like single people have leprosy, it's quite amazing. They don't have the right to say xyz, when they say xyz it's because you are single and haven't been bestowed with the intelligence that comes when a ring is on your finger. Nigerians are something else lol.

It's amazing how my desire to move to Naij is at a 0. I remember when it was at a 1000 in 2008 when I started Grad school. Did my stint in Naij in 2009 and I was for sure that I was moving back right after grad school. I never found a job but i kept looking hard but now? No thanks.

"Sometimes when you are hurt so badly, what hurts might not be what they did but who did it"

If you read your bible by typing in verses and chapters online, does it still count?

You know how when you see a younger person, so full of hope, life, love etc and you remember when you were like that before the real world took over. You would want to say something but it is definitely not your place to shatter anyone and besides when you are young, you believe you are wise beyond your years and you can't tell me nothing. I was thinking about this and you can't project your life on someone else, we all live life based on our reality and what we have experienced. If you watch RHOA, Porscha has an intro that says people say she has a picture perfect life and she does. We used to joke that she lived in a bubble. She said whatever she projected to the Universe she always got and you know what? you can't go telling someone like that nah life is xyz because in her reality everything does go well. I do think eventually though, we all go through the school of life and we all learn life lessons that are important to our growth as human beings.

Based on the above, I went through an incident this week that reminded me how we are unaware as human beings about our fellow human beings. We are all in our own little world, everly ready to prove why the other person is wrong and we are right. Listening and going that one level deeper is fading slowly. 

Ladies who get terrible cramps. Not like ouch here and there, but like serious debilitating pain cramps, please go checked out with your doctor/obgyn. If your flow is heavy also, those two are symptoms of fibroids and per my doctor 1 in 4 black women have those. PSA done. Fellas sorry.

So I heard this quote on Survivor last week and forgot to put this on here. I loved it:
"I feel like I want to say she has a vanilla personality but I'll be doing a great disservice to the vanilla flavor. "People clamor for vanilla flavored things. Noone is clamoring for anything she has to offer"

I did my entry for the365ngproject. You can read it here - http://the3six5ng.wordpress.com/2013/04/04/april-4-2013-taynement/

Also, don't forget www.taynement.com


Have a wonderful weekend guys!

Friday Randoms

It's been a minute huh? Sorry guys (well, that's if you even missed it at all). Hope you guys have been good and having a good life. Can you believe Easter is on Sunday? Lent went by so fast but then again like a broken record the year is flying by. I really had a good and productive lent, the curve balls keep coming but we have to keep trucking abi? Well, I'll just go ahead and random

"Don't question your blessings, own your blessings"

This is quite unnecessary but I still wanted to let you guys know that I changed my mind about this particular random thought and deleted it :p

I remembered reading somewhere that it's ok to be humble and brag as long as you don't forget to add the God aspect. That made me chuckle.

Man, am I the only one who feels for Kim K? That woman is getting some serious backlash over any and everything. This morning the radio station was talking about her answer to being asked how she plans on raising a biracial child. She said she plans on raising her child to not see color and somehow that was the wrong answer. One of the DJ's put an end to it and said it didn't really matter what her answer was, she still would have been pounced on anyways. Kim sef needs to go on a hideout till she born pikin. All this parading is not helping.

The biggest and hardest lesson you can ever learn in life is to not compare yourself to others. It's amazing how freeing it is when that's not hanging over you and you can accept your life path, no matter how difficult it is.

I have been watching the History Channel mini series, The Bible and I have enjoyed it so far, well till last week's which is when Jesus was captured. I like it and I always say it either makes you question your faith or gives you a renewed faith. From watching Noah and Lot's wife turn to salt, watching is a bit different from reading. I wondered for a second if any of these things really happened. Also watching the old testament stories, it seems pre marital sex was okay, who now came and poured sand in our garri, ehn? Oh I also noticed that the people God used were people who had done "bad" things. Moses killed someone, David kpanshed his friend's wife but God forgave and used them for some greater good. The main koko sha and in almost every story in the bible is to just keep calm and trust in the Lord aka having faith.

Thinking about the Bachelor series, people always make fun of them always splitting but the two marriages the show has yielded(one of them is 10yrs and 2 kids strong) have been from the Bachelorettes. And they say women are the ones who don't know what they want, eh?

Why do people ask if a celeb has a twitter handle? My first thought is to do a search. Meh, maybe responses are faster.

The other day I said I was in awe of the concept of marriage and I think it was misunderstood. I wasn't trying to be anti marriage or negative about it, not at all. I am in awe of it because the whole concept of two people from different backgrounds, pledging a forever to a future that is unknown is quite amazing. It's hard but doable and I am in awe of the whole concept.

The other day, I came across a picture of an ex crush of mine  and realized I based my college decision on him. He was at my aunt's house and he was a college boy talking about college, I was 17 trapped in a house with tight rules. All I could think of was college freedom and of course if we went to the same college and seeing as we were both catholic, of course he'd fall in love with me and we would be happy forever. We thank God for salvation from being young and stupid -_-

So in my wonderful brain, I feel it is wrong for a younger person to address someone older than them with "dear".

You know what's annoying? A woman being told oh you think that way or you are angry because you need to get laid. Someone used that as a comeback on twitter to a passionate somebody and it irked me. It's almost akin to asking if you are pms-ing.

I was watching Jwow and her fiance have a fight. He called her childish and she said so why did you propose to me? and he said "because you begged me to". Man, I felt that. One of the things I hope against is someone being with me for any reason other than because they wanted to. I mean I am sure they'll get over it but if someone ever said that to me, I don't care if it's out of anger the fact that it was said at all will forever nag me. It's the same thing as guys whose answer is "because it was the next thing to do" or "we had dated for a long time, it would have been mean to leave"

Speaking of, I watched Myne's recommendation, Strictly Soulmates. It's a documentary series on Youtube about people trying to find life partners within their faith. So far, I watched the Muslim, Hindi, Christian and a bit of the Jewish one and so far so good. If you have time, just search on Youtube and give it a shot.

Well ladies and gents, that's all I got. Have a wonderful Easter. Eat, drink, be merry and rejoice for He has risen ( or he would have by Sunday)

Don't forget to stop by www.taynement.com. Feel free to email me at taynement@gmail.com for anything.

Words n Thoughts

I wish I had saved it but I read something this week, I can't quote it but the gist was basically sometimes it's not that people don't want to be there for you or understand you but sometimes it's just too much for them to be able to handle someone else's troubles. I can kinda understand that, especially if you are like me, who is so cautious of not being a burden or wahala on people, asking for favors is just a long ting for me. Then I also ran into a tumblr post (sidebar - I must be the only person who doesn't tumbl, the most tumbling I do is clicking on links people post or if a friend sends me something) which I think was a good read. I also like the fact that the person who wrote it had in parentheses besides their name - Internal Acceptance Movement. I think Internal Acceptance is such a huge thing to have and is also missing in a lot of people in our generation - even when they think they have it. It's also seems to be the major theme in my Lenten Journey (another topic, another day). Anyways this was what it said:

"The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden. It doesn’t make you unloveable or undesirable or undeserving of care. It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy. It makes you human. Everyone struggles. Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart. During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay. No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time. Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult. And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad. But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being. The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved. You can be difficult and still be cared for. You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness"

I hope this helps/speaks out/encourages someone out there. Have a wonderful week ahead guys!

Oh and don't forget to visit www.taynement.com