Sunday, September 29, 2013

Songs I am currently feeling

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I thought I'd share with you some songs I am currently feeling. Hopefully you find a gem or two in the list.

My list wouldn't be complete without The Weeknd and I'd just tell you to listen to the whole album, but these are my three favorite songs on his latest album:
Have a great week ahead. I am sure I have forgotten a few but let me know if theres any you like.

Friday, September 20, 2013

Friday Randoms

Hi my people. My goodness, its been such a long time. Life men, it really knows how to get in the way. Thank you all for all the birthday wishes! I truly appreciate it. For the most part, I always do something for my birthday but I have to say this year's birthday ranks high as one of my most useless birthdays. It was so uneventful it was ridiculous. For one, I went to work. I had the day off but corporate decided that was the day we had to move. So it was just a mess with the office in disarray and everyone annoying me. The devil was trynna use people to get to me, I almost wept from frustration. The day finally ended and I got home to my empty apartment but I received lovely cards from two of my friends with one of them that had a note and a list of nice things about me that made me cry. People called to wish me well, so was on the phone for most of it then I made myself some eba and had it with onugbu a friend had made for me (I am not even joking) and I watched Sons of Anarchy and went to sleep. Sounds meh-ish abi? BUUUUT I made up for it during the weekend. See the thing is most of my good friends don't live in my city so my friend told me to get my ass to houston. I had friday off, so I did and I had a fun fun weekend. Smoked lots of hookah, got my light weight ass buzzed and had a lovely birthday dinner and even got cake. so yay to turn around and shout out to my friend for organizing and making sure I had a good time. I still have 2 dinner and drinks to cash in on and I get to see The Weeknd on Sunday woohooo. You know its real love when I am missing the Emmys for him, considering I have seen him twice before. Okay once again, Thank you!!! and let's random.

I don't like when people rant and vex about Naija and they say "but it's your country". It reminds me way too much of a dead beat dad who ain't acting right and when you choose not to stand for it some people say "but he's your dad". Umm and so?

These weddings in Naij are so lavish. Can any of these children afford these wedding on their own? Na the parents wey dey sponsor abi?

Speaking of, are there any legitimate people of our generation who are as wealthy as their parent's generation? I often wonder sometimes what the plan is for rich kids when their parents pass away. There's an increasing number of "rich kids" who don't work. I guess they inherit it?

You see a couple going through a divorce and you can't help but wonder what went wrong when you remember how in love they were at their wedding.

It really should be standard knowledge that love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Love is a great thing. Not all love is healthy though and it seems to cloud judgement. Values, Beliefs etc should also be in line in addition to love. Those are important.

The reasoning behind "divorce is not an option" makes sense but how much can one endure. I would imagine that it feels sucky to feel stuck and alone in an unhappy marriage. Most say thats why most of our parents have long lasting marriages. I think they did because they endured. And I think most of them were unhappy. The problem is now we allow ourselves to be happy and we have way too many options.

Someone asked me about naija weddings and I am like lately you can smell the desperation. It's strong. You can literally smell hunting and preying. Girls darting their eyes looking for who is eligible or not, people asking how's the wedding? any single men? find anyone? and guys chatting up any and everyone hoping to smash. At the end of the day the question is usually not how's the couple it's did you meet anyone?

It irks me when people say " I have no regrets, everything I have done has made me and led me to who I am today" Umm okay, Dali Lama. I mean we are human beings, noone's saying you can change it or you won't be who I am, you don't know what you could have been, you could have been better. Just admit to things you may have done differently/

Speaking of would you regret things you did over things you didn't do?

I think if I was a guy I'd be a (bigger) douche.

Well, that's all I got for yall. Have a wonderful wonderful weekend. Be safe and stay blessed. Love this song below, I expect to hear it at a lot of weddings.




Monday, September 9, 2013

Another year, Another +1

Another year, another thank you to God for giving me life to see another year. It's been a tough year since the last birthday ( I feel like I say this every time but hopefully that's not true). Anyways, I'm thankful for the grace, strength and opportunity to deal with all. I'm thankful for the fun times I'm able to have with my friends and family, that I can afford for myself  and the kindness and love by strangers, friends and acquaintances. Thank you blog family for still reading my blog after all these years and for being kind. For the first time in a while, I'm actually doing nothing for my birthday and actually even going to work. Change is good abi? Lol. Ehen and for those of you who don't believe in the love me and Abel (the weeknd to you mere mortals) share, his album comes out tomorrow, make sure you get it. Also Sons of Anarchy debuts tomorrow, so should be a good day overall. Have a wonderful rest of the week guys and happy birthday to me!

Friday, September 6, 2013

Things Your Single Friends Wish You’d Stop Saying To Them

Hi guys, happy friday! Happy New month too, it's my month of September, the month I get to add one more year to my life gracefully. So I had randoms all ready except I forgot it was Friday and I had to post them, I'll post them in the next day or two. In the meantime, here's something a friend just sent to me that I thought was funny. It was written by one of Tamera's best friends, Andrea (if you watch the show then you will know who she is). Figured i'd copy and paste for you guys. Which one is the most annoying? I think #2 and #3 for me. Have a lovely weekend!

1.) “You’re such an amazing person. I don’t understand why you’re still single!”

My dear, sweet friends have the best intentions when they make this statement. They think they’re giving me a compliment. My friends love me and can’t imagine why some strapping stud hasn’t scooped me up by now. Thank you, friends, for thinking that I am amazing. Really. I TOTALLY appreciate it! But I’d like to know what on Earth that has to do with my relationship status? Some of the best human beings I know are still single. If being a good person is directly correlated to being in a relationship, wouldn’t all the bad people in the world be single? Haven’t we all met some downright awful people who are blissfully coupled up? And what’s so bad about being single anyway? Some of us actually enjoy it. You might be thinking, “That girl is in denial! Nobody likes being single!” But if I’m being honest, I truly enjoy my singlehood. I like not having anyone else to consider when making big decisions. I crave alone time. I love being able to go wherever I want, whenever I want and with whomever I want. I’ve worked hard to get to this place. After my last heartbreak, I decided to take some time to get my stuff together. I felt like I had been obsessing about one guy or another from the time I hit puberty until well into my twenties. After years of focusing on the men in my life, I decided it was time to focus on myself. I dug deep and tried to figure out why I always picked the wrong guy and why I allowed myself to get into a pattern of unhealthy relationships. I decided to focus on my relationships with God, family and friends. I worked on my goals and dreams. I’m so grateful for this time of self-discovery. For those of you who are struggling in your singlehood, I encourage you to take full advantage of this time in your life. Figure out what makes you happy. Identify your strengths and weaknesses. Spend time with your loved ones. Volunteer for worthy causes. Move forward with your dreams. It’s time to start being grateful for your single life instead of focusing on what you don’t have. Our married and coupled up friends can help this process by celebrating our singlehood instead of treating it like bad place we need to hurry up and get out of. We know you mean well, but next time please stop the sentence at, “you’re such an amazing person” - then tell us how hot we are :)
  

2.) “How’s your dating life going? You seriously haven’t met ANYONE?” 

Define “anyone”. Haha...Does the grocery store clerk who used his last name (Hung) to describe his male anatomy and then asked if I want him to be my papacito for the night count? What about the guy I went on a date with that just stared at me all night with a creepy serial killer look? Oh how about the guy who hit on me at the car wash? We were actually having a great conversation and about to exchange numbers until he got a call…FROM HIS GIRLFRIEND. Yes, my loving friends & family, I’ve met lots of people, and not all of them have been crazy. Some just don’t work out. I still have hope that there are some awesome men out there and when I do meet someone special, I will let you know. I promise! I’ll scream it from the mountaintops, tweet, update my Facebook status and post a pic on instagram. You’ll know. Believe me. Please stop starting our conversations by asking about my dating life. Ask me about what’s going on in my life. I’ll have lots of fun and exciting stuff to fill you in on!

3.) “Maybe you’re just too picky”

Aaaaand maybe I should punch you in the face? Okay, okay I’m just joking and not condoning violence here, but if I hear this one more time I might actually punch someone in the face…or at least give them a really dirty look! I am not picky. I am selective. There is a difference. According to Dictionary.com, “Picky” means “extremely fussy or finicky, usually over trifles.” Trifles are trivial or insignificant things. I am not concerned with trivial things. I don’t care what color his hair is, how much he can bench press, or what car he drives. I care most about a man’s character and values. It’s okay have preferences, but I encourage you to take a look at the list of things you want in a mate. If any of the characteristics on your list are trivial, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your priorities. I’ve made bad dating decisions in the past. Surviving those experiences brings wisdom. There is nothing wrong with making wise decisions. I’ve earned my right to be selective, to choose carefully. So have you! We need to make good dating choices ladies because forever is a LONG time. We don’t want to end up married to a bad decision.

4.) “OMG I think I just met your husband! He’s perfect for you!”

My friends are amazing. They are always on the lookout for my man (I’m lookin’ at you Tamera Mowry-Housley). They are happily married and desperately want that kind of happiness for me too. I love them for it. I do. But this statement scares the heck outta me! Husband? Already? Can I please meet the guy before we start calling him my husband? I’m all for being set up. Bring it on! It’s a great way to meet new people. It’s fun and exciting. But, please don’t call him my husband, unless you want me to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. We know all you married friends want us to join you in the wedded bliss club, but please go easy on the “perfect guy” talk. It’s a lot of pressure for the poor fella! What if he doesn’t live up to our expectations? What if we don’t see what you see? What if we really like him and because you planted the husband seed, we start watering it and it grows and grows. Before you know it we’re planning the perfect wedding in our heads before our meal even arrives…or so I’ve heard ;) We appreciate you keeping an eye out, but please proceed with caution.

5.) “I can’t wait until you get married and have kids. You have NO IDEA how hard life can be.”

I’ve had some exhausted and stressed out friends say this to me and it was one of the most brought up statements that bothered other single gals the most. We know our mom friends are going through a lot and don’t mean to sound condescending, but we can’t help but be offended. It feels like they are saying that the things we are going through don’t matter because they are not as important as being a wife and mother. Again, that might not be what you mean, but it’s how we take it. I completely respect their positions. Being a wife and mother are very important and they’re right - I have no idea how hard it is to be married and adjust to having a man around ALL THE TIME. (I’m praying for a husband who travels a lot. Haha!)  I don’t know what it’s like to hold a precious little one in my arms and be responsible for making sure that little person becomes a God-fearing, respectable member of society. I can’t imagine the pressure they must be under and I’m here, as a friend, to help alleviate any of that stress. On the flipside, they don’t know what it’s like to have my demanding job, or the stresses of my family and my life. We’re all friends here right? We need to support each other. It’s not a competition. We’re not trying to win a medal for who lives the hardest life. We all have different challenges. Let’s try to be more compassionate about these challenges and build each other up. Girlfriends unite! Woo hoo!

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest! Stay tuned for part 2 of this post. Do you single gals have any more things to add to this list? Has anyone ever said one of these things to your single friends?