Friday, June 29, 2012

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. Can you believe June is over? This is crazy. On the bright side, it's Friday - yippee. Summer is here. I love summer. It's disgustingly hot especially here in TX but I'd take this over the cold anyday. So you may or may not know how much I love The Weeknd, incase you don't know - I LOVE The Weeknd, so imagine my delight when he came into town. It was everything I could imagine. I sometimes mentally have the live version of Dirty Diana playing in my head, I won't talk about the acoustic version of "Wicked Games". I actually really enjoy concerts and have been to quite a number of them. If i could this summer I would love to see Emeli De Sande and Lana Del Rey. There are some artists/bands I love but would never see in concert read: Coldplay. Not sure why, this is probably why I am stalling on buying Jason Mraz tickets. See you in July, Frank Ocean! I have a bunch of things going on this summer so Summer is off to a good start yay. Let's random.

I think one of the valuable lessons I have learned so far in life is knowing when to say no and being okay with it. Agreeing to something you are uncomfortable with just makes you miserable and life is too short to be unhappy.

If my husband kisses someone and confesses to me, I think I might slap him...for confessing.

Speaking of cheating, on a scale of 1-10 how hard do you think it is to stay faithful in a marriage? Are there any women who worry about being faithful when they get married? How many of you also believe that all men will cheat? I am by no means a rainbows and butterflies girl but I think I am still taken aback by the number of women I know who are resigned to the fact that their husbands might cheat especially after a certain number of years of marriage.

Is there such a thing as being too private?

Watching documentaries where people with cancer decide to stop all treatment and just let them go home and nature takes its course. I never used to understand that. I thought it had an element of selfishness but now I understand.

The pursuit of happyness is a long, not so easy journey.

This blog post totally read my mind from head to toe, especially that part where people try to hook you up and when you ask what you have in common, they're like I dunno he is single. That gets my goat everytime. So annoying!

I have often wondered at what point (and how) men realize they are below-average size wise "down there" and skill wise. Yes it's true, women talk and yes there are exceptions where the woman guides a man to what they like and what could have been done better but for the most part telling someone they suck is not the best conversation to have, so they go ahead sucking it up and the man continues life thinking he is the man. Do they ever realize or they live in ignorance?

Watching a tv show and there was a scene where a character's mom was dying but preferred for her son not to know. I've never understood that. People who do that think it's easier on the loved one but is it? To me, they have denied their loved one of precious last moments and basically taken an opportunity from them. What do you think should it be the choice of the dying?

This week I learned about a sexual act called - Gerbil Stuffing. What is this you say? Never fear, Sisteh Tayne will tell you . Gerbil Stuffing is a an act that involves a human being stuffing a gerbil into his ( it's apparently done mostly by gay men) rectum through the cardboard  tubing of a paper toilet roll. Once the animal is in the paper towel tubing is pulled out (kinda like how a tampon works). Now the idea is that while the rodent is suffocating, it scratches and claws at the lining of the rectum and provides an intense sensation. Ok I should add that this is an urban legend, but the fact that it has such detailed description, you just know that in the times that we live in some one has tried this out there.

Well, that's all I got for you folks. I am looking forward to the 4th of July weekend. Have a wonderful weekend and be safe!

Enjoy Jessie J's acoustic cover of Rihanna's We Found Love. She murdered Rihanna with this.

Sunday, June 24, 2012

The Diversity Complaint

Every now and then America picks on something to either pick on or hype up. I'll give you examples. Oh 50 shades of Grey is fantastic, the whole nation gets 50 Shades fever. Oh Emma Stone is the next best thing, the whole nation goes crazy and decides they love her and cast her in everything. Most recently, a new show "Girls" written, directed and produced by 25 year old Lena Dunham debuted on HBO, everyone raved about it and it was the topic of discussion, both good and bad (still not sure why) but anyways suddenly the criticism that it lacked diversity came up and quite frankly I was surprised. A lot of TV shows "lack diversity" so to speak (anyone remember the "Friends" backlash), so I couldn't quite for the life of me wonder why Girls was being singled out. I usually don't care about how many minority characters are in a show but at the time I  think I read an Essence article that made me kinda see their point for a second but it quickly left my mind...till two things happened that made me actually think about the topic.

 There's this reality show on the Sundance channel called "Push Girls" about women who are paralyzed from the waist down and are in wheel chairs. I was watching an interview with them and one of the girls said she definitely feels that their "kind" are under represented on TV. I was like hmm. Then there is this new show on ABC Family called Bunheads, when it premiered Shonda Rhimes (writer and creator of Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and Scandal who is famous for having minority characters in her show) tweeted:

 "Hey @abcbunheads, really? You couldn't cast even ONE young dancer of color so I could feel good about  my kid watching this show? NOT ONE?"

 Harsh words?

 I don't know but it got me thinking. For one, let's be realistic, everytime someone bitches about lack of diversity, the first thought is "no black people" even though there are a bunch of other minority races. Based on what the Push Girl cast member said, the hard truth is every group of people cannot be represented on a 30 minute or one hour show. Everyone will have a complaint - the gays, the little people, people with downs syndrome etc etc. Some may say noone makes complaints when all black shows have no white people (come to think of it, there wasn't that much noise made when Kelly - the only white character from "The Game" was fired from the show). The response is usually that they already have enough shows and have more opportunities than their black counterparts.

 Speaking on Shonda's tweet, I actually understand where she is coming from. I think sometimes as Nigerians, we forget that African Americans have a different view point and upbringing. I've heard so many times by older African Americans how excited they were when they saw someone like them on TV and it gave them hope that they could pursue a dream. ABC Family caters to a younger teen/tween crowd and I can see how easily a young black girl might think being a ballerina is "just for white people", sometimes I think we underestimate how easily influenced young people are especially by the media.

 In conclusion, do I think TV shows have a social responsibility? Yes but there are limitations. I think for a show about adults like Girls or Friends, it's a bit silly to complain about no minorities because hopefully you have lived life long enough to form and know your own relationship with minorities. The argument about being realistic is moot because tv and movies are not reality. With a show that affects young kids/teenagers, I feel it can't hurt to make extra effort in showing more minority faces.

Some things to think about before I go though is, again noone can be pleased because I am pretty sure I read an article about how having the token black guy or girl in shows is cliche and we can't forget that it's a business and unfortunately, all black shows don't cross over to mainstream audience like they used to, so there's that to consider. What do you think? How important do you think racial diversity is on a TV show?

PS Looks like Girls succumbed and is bringing in Donald Glover aka Childish Gambino for S2. I don't see how he won't be seen as the token black guy to shut everyone up.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Introducing - Adaku

In her own words, Adaku describes "Or You Can" as a song about being there for a friend, a lover or a loved one who needs a shoulder to lean on and most importantly a "big ass fro" to lay on. Initially posted on Youtube as a bedroom recording and a deviation from the usual YouTube cover videos, "Or You Can" took on a life of its own with over 15,000 YouTube views and troves of positive feedback that Adaku decided to create a studio version of "Or You Can" and release it as a single. Superbly written and produced by Adaku, it is a beautiful acoustic song with great lyrics and soothing guitar play that leaves the listener captivated and enthralled.
ADAKU is a US-Based Nigerian Singer/Songwriter from Rivers State who has had to hide her talent and passion for singing in order to fully complete her degree education in Electrical Engineering, an education which has finally culminated in a Master's Degree in Electrical Engineering. Throughout her education however, Adaku continued to immerse herself in music whenever and wherever she could - her YouTube covers of popular songs such as Bruno Mars' "Grenade", Adele's "Someone Like You and Nneka's "Heartbeat, garnering over 100,000 views on the popular video platform. 
Gifted with an amazing voice, the Singer/Songwriter who also plays the guitar and piano is set to storm the world with her uniquely sublime talents and is certainly well on her way on this journey as she was featured on YouTube's home page as a part of the month of June's Fresh face. This included a full day's feature on YouTube's music homepage.
Please direct all media and booking inquiries to Management ; 
Hey guys, my little baby has finally released a single, she's a friend of mine with enormous talent. Check out the single below and let me know what you think! Don't forget to check out her other covers on her youtube page!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Friday Randoms

Yes I am aware it is still Thursday but I am calling an early night tonight. It's one of those nights where I am so fatigued, I can't think straight. I keep telling myself, I am getting older and need to start taking vitamins but meeen, me and vitamins don't get along. I'll start taking 'em and a week or two in, I am out. I said I wasn't going to talk about the Dana victims, but I can't lie to you, they are still on my mind. Thoughts and prayers to the family and friends. May God be their comfort. In my good news of the week, I have been hoping and pleading for The Weeknd to come to TX, I didn't even care what city it was in TX,  I was going to make it either way and waddya know he is coming to Dallas! woohoo! I got my tickets waiting and can't wait to see him live.

Before I random, happy happy birthday to my most favorite CILy. Hope you have a wonderful day and you already got the best present you could have wished for. Wishing you many more years and you already know I love you plenty.

Let's random.

What's in a name? If someone was trying to set you up and you heard their name, would you be turned off it was a "funny" name? e.g ladies what if the guy's name was Valentine?

I've wondered what it feels like for someone when an ex dies especially if you parted on bad terms/they did you dirty. Like even though you feel nothing for the person or haven't spoken to them in years, it's still someone you shared a part of your life with for some time.

I wonder if I will miss my 20's cuz boy were they full of turbulence, a lot of ups and downs. A lot of discovery. You hear all these people on TV who claim that as they got older, they came into their own and became more at peace with themselves and poof serenity now. Can't wait to turn 30 and see if I'll have a poof moment too.

So you know how as Nigerians we grew up on certain foods so we are used to it. Some Nigerians still think it's magic to like sushi. Ok, my point is when you eat something frequently a certain way, you are used to it and that's what you know, so when people go on and on and rave about my mom's cooking is the best, noone does xyz like her. I was thinking the other day, if that's what you grew up on and are used to, wouldn't it be the best to you when you compare it to someone who cooks it a different way? or am i tripping and good tasting food is good tasting food regardless.

A lot of Nigerians are quite ambitious. Our Nigerian men are very ambitious. It's all about chasing that paper, providing for the family and all. Which in itself is not a bad thing. But I am a big believer in balance and while I think working hard to provide or to achiever that goal is a great thing, I also think it is very important to create time for your family.

I was listening to Beyonce's "I was here" the other day and I had a random thought. What if everytime a guy came near a girls hoo-ha (for whatever reason) *ahem* the voice of every guy that had ever been there would burst out in "I was heeeeere". How awkward would it be if dude has to wait for a while or if he recognizes a voice?

There's a show called The Conversation coproduced by Demi Moore where this lady has honest conversations with female celebs. Every now and then they drop nuggets. I got this from an episode: "everyone has a need for approval, the question is is it an obstacle? If it is your primary goal to get approval then you will never take risks". At the end of every show the same questions are asked, 2 of these questions are "what is you favorite sex position?" (so far majority is doggy and woman on top) and "What would you tell your 14 yr old self?"

Why are we as human beings never okay with the fact that someone sees things differently from how we do? Why do we try to convince them otherwise?

"Your limitations are not set by who you know, where you were born, what genes you have, how much money you have, how old you are right now, what you did before or other things that you can claim are your stamp of failure for life" Yay or Nay readers?"

These gymnasts are so young when they start in their teeny outfits. I wonder how the first convo about waxing or shaving goes.

Aaaaand that's all I have folks, have a blessed weekend.

Floating Favor

I still have my issues with the word "favor" - it just sounds like being better than another when I believe we are all God's children with different paths. For example, with the recent tragedy of the air crash, if someone missed the flight and makes a comment like "I am favored", doesn't that sound somehow? It could have been anyone, it's not because we are more special or better, it just wasn't our path. That being said, I came across this devotional that I thought to share. It does have the topic of Favor but you will get the general gist of the message the writer was trying to share.

This was written by Lisa Crum

I don’t know the history of Ivory soap, but it has been around at least as long as I have. When I was a little kid, most of the time my grandmother had two kinds of bath soap in the house--Dove and Ivory. She liked the Dove because it had moisturizers in it (and tasted terrible when the washcloth passed over my mouth, by the way); my pick, however, was Ivory.
I can remember how well I loved the smell of Ivory, and still do, but what intrigued me about it was that it floats. That’s not a big deal to the average person sitting in the bathtub, but for a kid whose bathwater sometimes looked more like stagnant swamp water after playing outside all day, I liked not having to search for that slimy piece of sunken soap!
The favor of God is that mystery ingredient in the believer which causes us to rise above our circumstances; it causes us to operate in a realm which, in the natural, we shouldn’t be able to attain. How do we know it’s in there? The manifestation of the anointing. You may not be able to see the secret substance in that soap, but you can see the outward evidence. The anointing is proof that God’s favor is on your life. Perhaps you feel less significant than your peers, but if you are operating in God’s favor, the buoyancy of the anointing can cause you to outlast and outperform someone more experienced, more talented, more credentialed than you—someone who perhaps operates in the realm of self-sufficiency rather than God-dependency.
I’m not sure I can validate this, but I’m guessing that Granny paid more for the fancy moisturizing soap than she did for my cut-through-the crud Ivory. I know I’ve made a lot of her bars disappear awfully fast when I dropped them in that bathwater and they dissolved to nothing more than tiny scraps for her wringer washer. And over the years, being somewhat of an almost-but-not-quite person, I’ve felt inferior to the college graduate, the music major, the certified accountant; and I’ve wasted a lot of time weighing in on my unfinished side, rather than rejoicing in the unmerited favor and abilities God has given me in spite of what I didn’t get to do.
Strive to become the best you can be. If you’re young and still in school, soak up every bit of knowledge you can absorb. Don’t pass up those golden opportunities; in a day like today when the resources for learning are unlimited, you should never whine, “I’m bored!” There will never be another time when you’re as uninterrupted in your schedule as you are now. When you’re older, you may carry a heavy weight of adult responsibilities and won’t be able to devote hours each day to developing your talents and gifts. If you are, however, an adult who has to compensate for missed opportunities, God can meet you where you are as well. He can make up for what you didn’t get to achieve, through His favor and anointing. And if He wills for you to go back and earn those accolades you missed in your youth, He’ll open up the right doors and help you carve out time in your day to get them done.
So, how do you get to the favor, and the anointing? This comes through time spent alone with God, and for that there is no shortcut. Just like the kid who spends time in the kitchen with Mom, or under the hood of the car with Dad, we gain in understanding by watching Him...listening to Him…putting His instruction into practice.
Regardless of what you are able to achieve in the natural, never underestimate the power of God’s favor upon your life. Without it in the mix, all those fancy extra ingredients won’t carry you above the dirtiness of the world. Don’t sink…when you can FLOAT.
Scripture of the Day: “But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him [out].” (Hebrews 11:6 AMP)

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Rest in Peace

By now, most Nigerians have heard of the ill fated Dana Airlines crash from Abuja to Lagos. Details aren't fully out and conflicting stories are coming out, the bottom line is a lot of lives, that could have been saved, were lost today. Numerous family and friends will be mourning the loss of a loved one.

I've never known anyone personally, but everytime news like this comes from Nigeria, my heart just breaks. This is not good news for anyone. This is not news anyone wants to hear. This is also a reminder that our government, our country, our officials are still not doing anything. You know, over here in yankee when they delay or cancel our flights we grumble, we make noise but deep down we know better safe than sorry. In naija, the general don't care attitude starting from the top i.e Goodluck Jonathan always wins in the decision. We still don't know the cause of the crash, seeing as they made it to Lagos but I can guarantee someone must have known this plane was not safe to fly. Let's assume they didn't know, doesn't this still not mean that there isn't a process to routinely make sure planes are safe to fly?

Reports say that when the plane crashed, it exploded 30 minutes later. Do we have an emergency rescue team?  2 Fire trucks made it and allegedly ran out of water. There is no light on the scene. Can we talk about the poor people who were in the houses that the plane crashed on? All this going on and that motherfucker is concerned about changing names of Universities? How long is this going to go on?Do I have my heart in my mouth everytime a loved one enters a plane? Everyone keeps saying we should stop complaining and make a change, I beg of you people, please tell me how-show me how? There are some certain basics/fundamentals needed to even begin somewhere.

All of the above is all so secondary right now though. I am all shaken up and I didn't know anyone close to me, so I can't imagine how the family and friends feel. I wish them all the strength and grace of God to go through this and may the souls of each and every passenger on that plane rest in perfect peace. Amen.