Thursday, October 30, 2014

Never too busy

This was floating on my timeline and was a status for one of my bbm's contacts:

"We're adults and busy. No reason to be in constant contact with you to prove my friendship to you. Just know when/if you need me, I'm here"

A lot of people were cosigning this statement but I do not agree with this at all. The statement itself just sounds so cold and like those people that feel cool that they can cut people off whenever. Ok maybe that's a harsh comparison.

The line "I don't need to prove my friendship to you". I mean, since when does being in constant contact mean proving a friendship? I simmered and remembered when I was much younger and felt that a friend who never reached out didn't really care. I know better now but I did acknowledge that maybe that is what they meant.

I admit that when it comes to things like these I am a big sap and I am a sentimental person. But the main things that nullifies the statement above is technology. There are SO many ways to get in contact with a person. I (personally) don't need a full gab long ass session on the phone as contact. I feel like as long as you are friends with someone, a simple hi, hope you are well every now and then or when they cross your mind goes a long way.

Yes, we are adults and busy but what is important in life is our loved ones. We are also adults and as such are dealing with various responsibilities and stress. Everyone is dealing with something, small or big. Sometimes, what helps or saves us is that human contact or knowledge that someone is in your corner. Sometimes, the person you are compelled to share with isn't even someone you gab with all the time.

It does say "Just know when/if you need me, I'm here". That's true. For some, it's hard to reach out or just bring up and that simple "sup?" might be all the difference.

Anyhue, I totally feel silly now because I probably read too much into this and didn't need to make much ado about nothing. It's how I felt when I read it and I said I was going to write about it. So here it is.

Have a great weekend everyone!!

Sunday, October 26, 2014

20 Random Things

It's been floating around and I figure it'll be fun to do. You will probably see things you already know about me as I have done these things a number of times but ah well.

1. I am a fake Nigerian because I can't handle pepper/spicy stuff. The day I realized people use more than 1 habanero when cooking, my eyes nearly popped out. I'll still eat it but I just don't handle it very well.

2. I really, really LOVE the artist - The Weeknd. I really do.

3. I have a huge massive fear of dogs. It doesn't matter how small or large or toothless they are. I just have an irrational fear of them. People never believe me or understand the magnitude of my fear and always try to tell me their dog is different. I think my friend with the chihuahua really understood when I burst into tears in her room.

4. I love a good deal. I search, plot, plan for what will be a good financial deal and save myself a few bucks in the long run.

5. I do not know the complete correct lyrics to any song. Not even for The Weeknd. I don't know why. Ad libs and runs though? I have that nailed down to a T. No matter how old the song.

6.  In all my years of living, no eye doctor has been able to fit me in contacts that work for me. My contacts are always dancing Azonto in my eyes. I have astigmatism, so I wear toric lenses but even then they move so much and become blurry. I have even had two different brands for each eye prescribed for me and yet. I have an eye test coming up, we shall see.

7. I think I am slowly giving up on heels. Them shit hurt! Old age no good :(

8. I really don't like tea. I drink tea when I am under the weather. Team Coffee all day, everyday.

9. As much tv as I watch, I really hate cop/detective/whodunnit shows. Which is probably why I knew How to Get Away With Murder wouldn't be my thing.

10. As much as I'd rather do everything the right way and the right time, I sometimes feel like I have failed my mom by not giving her a grandchild at my age.

11. I am an over thinker. And as such, I worry a lot. I have self diagnosed myself with anxiety. Whenever I am anxious and have a lot on my mind, I have a disgusting habit where I rip off the skin around my fingers and my cuticles. I just keep biting and tearing it off (sounds worse than it is lol)

12. I am not the tidiest person but I can be quite anal about things. There are just certain things I am particular about. I like things a certain way.

13. As much as I do not like shopping - and I really should rephrase that to clothes and makeup shopping. I loooove to grocery shop. If there was a job to grocery shop for people that would be fun (is there a job like that?)

14. I like doing different things to my hair. I am also a weavaholic.

15. I hate animals.

16. I don't have a fear of bugs or insects which is helpful cuz my new place is by greenery so I get unexpected "guests" all the time but they don't phase me. Now rats/mice. I don't play that.

17. I think I travel a lot and I never had a fear of flying but recent events have suddenly made me nervous. As my mom would say, its not necessarily you I am worried about but the world is kinda crazy now. And it is true. Strange things have just been happening recently.

18. I am avid concert goer. I am not at the point where I am wondering, who else I would like to see in person because I think I have seen everyone I would like to see.

19. I stan for Man U and Rooney is my guy. No matter what they say.

20. I still cite my braces as one of the best things I have ever spent my money on *flashes 32*

That's all my 20. Anyone who wants to do it, is free to. Did you learn anything new about me?

Saturday, October 18, 2014

My Harry Potter Experience

Before I go into my post. I don't respond individually to comments unless I am asked a question, but I always try to respond in the post after. So I wanted to say thank you to you guys for your kind thoughts and comments on my last post. I appreciate it. I truly was having a bad day that day but we keep on trucking and I am hanging in there and taking each day as it comes. For those who reached out to me offline, thank you to you too. I appreciate it. Ok on to Harry Potter.

So I had just arrived in America when the Harry Potter phenomenon was taking place and I read the first one for sure. I don't remember how many more I read but I stopped reading. Fast forward many more years later, I had always said I wanted to read the whole series. Amazon has a Netflix type program except it's for books and in August, the best friend informed me that first timers get a 30 day free trial. Decided to take the opportunity to read all 7 books in the series.

The books were great. I loved them and enjoyed them very much. I was very much in awe of how JK Rowling was able to write a book that could appeal to adults and kids at the same time. You could tell every story was well thought out and fleshed out, that and the characters. Everything was connected. So while I liked the series as a whole, Book 5 was the exception. It was such a doozy and took me forever to get through. It just dragged.

I found Harry Potter so annoying. My god. What a brat! I know he'd been through a lot and was fighting for his life and all but geez mr. get a grip on your temper. He was so impulsive and had a huge savior complex. At first, I thought I liked Dumbledore but honestly, noone can be that even keel. It got annoying after a while. my favorite character was Ginny Weasley. She was just a confident person that wouldn't take any shit. And clearly her milkshakes brought constant boys to the yard (ok that sounded dirtier than it really is but you catch my drift)

I don't think I can say much more without giving any spoilers but overall, I am glad I read it and all the kudos to J.K Rowling.

Monday, October 13, 2014

The Other Side of Cancer

Cancer just doesn't eat away at the insides of a person. It just burns a hole through any and everyone around it.

The other side of cancer that isn't discussed is how it affects the loved ones of the person who has the cancer. You can't really complain because ultimately it is seen as a better situation than the person who actually has the cancer.

It's a terrible feeling watching someone you love suffer and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

Everyday you try and be there for the person, you try to encourage and be kind and just transfer all the love you have for them, secretly hoping all your goodwill will cure them and make them better even though you know it's not possible. You say these things but the thing about cancer is you never know the outcome. It does as it pleases.

You are racked with guilt because no matter how much you do, it never seems enough. Doctor to Doctor, treatment to treatment everything costs money so there's that - the financial cost of it all.

You don't have the relationship you once had. You can't laugh, joke or seek advice or share personal worries and fears because everything becomes about the cancer. Survival is the main goal. You aren't there to add to their worries but to make them feel better.

When you are (what feels like) a million miles away, everything is magnified. Every missed phone call, every doctor visit, waiting for a prognosis. When you speak on the phone and you can hear your loved one trying to put on a brave face. Everything just weighs on you. It's like you have a permanent knot in your stomach.

Again, not a damn thing you can do. No magic wand to wave it all away.

There are good days and bad days (Although right now, I can't think of the good days). Today was just one of the bad days.

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Friday Randoms

Hi Folks. We are in October. Like 90 more days till we are in 2015. Like how scary is that? 2 thousand and freaking 15. chei! *thinks of what to say* I don't know what jibber jabber to jabber you guys with so I guess I will just random.

Just as we Christians are hypocritical, I am usually amused by Muslims who hold so true to their no-pork rule but will willingly break every other rule there is. I often wonder why it is the biggest sacrilege but everything else such as sex or drinking goes. I knew someone who wouldn't touch pork with a 10 foot pole but he drank and smoked like a chimney and owned a couple of strip clubs. funny, eh?

Some things you think are common basic human courtesy, really aren't.

In that same vein, how do you handle not doing the most for people? If you are doing something nice or doing things for a person from the goodness of your heart and because you care but you know if situations are flipped it wouldn't even occur to the person to do for you. Do you just do because that's what your spirit/nature tells you to or you don't because it won't be reciprocated? If the latter, doesn't it make it seem like you are doing stuff for reward? If former, at what point are you a mumu?

A tweet came across my timeline the other day talking about people seeking validation via tweets but the avatar of the person was in booty shorts and top a bit spread eagled on a pole. Maybe it was from a pole dancing class but it felt contradictory to me. or no?

Whenever someone says "I'll make it up to you" to me. I take it with a grain of salt. It don't mean shit. Nothing is ever made up.

When you are going through the worst or a rough patch in your life. It stings seeing that "I am blessed/favored etc" declaration. You just think about your life and wonder why God doesn't love you like he does them.

Sometimes, I think I believe that the further you are from God/less religious/not that strong in your faith, the less troubles and wahala you have in your life. ( I am a little angry at God now so this might change)

Honestly, people that don't keep their dogs on a leash INFURIATE me! Ughh.

How do kids know to call their parents mommy and daddy when no one else calls them that?

If I ever had to pick between short or long hair, it will always be long hair - on anybody. I keep trying to figure out why. Even though I chopped off my hair for a brief moment some time ago. I am just team long hair. I also have never met anyone who i preferred with short hair, not even Toni Braxton and Halle Berry. It's strange. Don't get me wrong, it's not utter hatred o. Like some short dos are just too fierce for words and its definitely a refreshing different look, some women rock the hell outta of it but if you had me pick I'll almost always go for the long.

People always say they prefer to hear the truth or people being straightforward but I don't think that's the case. It's better to be fake nice, fake laugh, "lol" and destroy behind back than being honest and direct.

Please those kids that sang "No Flex Zone" how old are they? Why are they already calling people ho's and telling women to "sit on their Balmain zipper"? Uwa e mebi (hope the Igbo police don't fine me for this)

I totally get why it is easier to say fine when you are asked how you are rather than answering honestly. You don't want to be that debbie downer that always has one calamity after the other. Na to just say fine, smile, keep ya head up and move on.

There was a topic about porn the other day and people were giving a reason for watching porn is to learn stuff. I mean sure, maybe people learn from porn but it's not always realistic. Besides that, anything I know how to do, I didn't learn from porn. Anyone who has learned from porn, please I'd like to hear.

Guys, please check out and tell a friend to tell a friend and tell everyone you know.

That's all I have for you guys. Have a wonderful weekend and remain blessed.