Thursday, December 22, 2011

Touch Down Lagos

Hi guys, I don reach Lagos o. Like everytime, it feels nice to be back. I had an eventful plane ride. I spent a day in London. On our way there, we had a sick passenger and had to make an emergency landing. Pilot announces we have to land in Memphis, we are almost there and he announces they have to change to Nashville, we head on out there and once almost there again, pilot says we have to go back to Memphis cuz they are better equipped to check the plane and make sure we can fly over water *confused face* err, thought it was a sick passenger? Anyways we land and passenger is rushed off to hospital.I found it interesting that even though there were no Nigerians on my flight, there sure was clapping when we landed.

Immigration line in the UK is cuh-razy man. Takes forever.I happened to be in line behind background singers from Rihanna's tour who seemed miffed that they were standing in line with us "regular folks" - goats. London was so cold man chei. Finally got to taste Nando's chicken and I liked. Anyways back to airport for final leg to Lagos and it was full of skinny jeans wearing youngsters. My ears were ringing with juvenile convos like "I fancy xyz's bro" "maybe I'll ask him if he wants to join the mile high club". Virgin Airlines is awesomeness though. Had a air hostess who looked JUST like Adele.

Well, touchdown Lagos at 6am, luggage came out smooth including hand luggage I had to check in. Got home, took a shower and hit the streets, went to say hi to a friend and had drinks with friends at Radisson. Next day I slept some and hit up Likwid and that was major fun, I danced like a fool (as always). Hung out at ebar the next day and ran into ms sassy. This lagos sef, na small place. Well today, all roads were supposed to lead to Swe but all the goddamn smoking in this country got to me and I'm here sneezing and hacking my brains out. I'm bummed out lying here in my jammies, when I could be dancing and losing my voice but tomorrow na tomorrow. I'll make up for this. Well that's my update so far, hope you guys are doing well. Merry christmas guys and thank you for the time you take out to read this blog!

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Non Randoms

Hello people. How are ya? and how are you getting ready for the holidays? I actually had randoms for this week but due to unforeseen circumstances, I wasn't able to get it all together. I leave for Naija soon and I still am not done packing plus so much work to wrap up on. So basically, for those of you that hit me up for randoms, I'm sorry! and I will be sure to have some up soon enough. I am going to do my year in review at the end of they year or maybe when I get back, it's pretty cool stuff and hopefully some of y'all will do it too.

On a side note, it's funny how your mood can change so quickly (or is it just me). I woke up this morning all in a fantastic mood till I saw something that just annoyed me. Whatever. Also, what's with people and giving you stuff to take home to naija for them when you aren't that cool, isn't it awkward?. I think I have said no in so many different ways.

Well, wishing you guys a very very happy holidays. Hope you have a blessed one and an even better new year and year ahead. I might or might not update, depending on my internet connection. Muah!




"Had to leave, Had to live"

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Thursday, December 8, 2011

Friday Randoms

Whaddya know, it's another Friday and I have randoms this Friday. Again. 2 weeks in a row. I'm on fire! I keed. It's been a very strange week and some of my friends have just had a hard week and sometimes there are just no right words to say. It is freezing in Texas guys! I'm talking ice on my car, 30 degree weather and it's not cute at all. I'd say I am looking forward to Naija heat but I hear it's major hot there too. Speaking of which, I don't think I realize that I am leaving for Naija in a few. I haven't done diddly squat. Random time.

So I asked a couple of my female friends if they'd want to come back as a guy or a girl again and everyone said they'd want to come back as a girl. Go figure that I am the only one who would want to come back as a man.

I have said this before but as hard as it is to find a life partner/someone that gets you. I can't imagine losing them while you are still young.

When something devastating happens to you and you feel your world has stopped. I think one of the hardest things to grasp is that the world doesn't stop just because yours has. It keeps going...

Would you rather have a banging body or a beautiful face?

Why do people think that they can control their emotions? I don't think you can control how you feel, you can only control if you want to suppress or express it but how you feel can't be controlled. Abi ki lo feel?

Dilemma Dilemma Dilemma. Jesus be my decision maker.

Whose responsibility is it to bring up the "status" talk in a boy/girl talking situation. My friend who is a guy makes it his duty to always be clear on where they stand, most girls seem to wait on the guy to bring it up, but should it be that way? I think anyone of the two should be able to express what they want or is it better for it to be the guy?

The more I hear about life after children the more I get a bit worried about it. It just seems to change everything. I see these women who just seem exhausted mentally, physically and are overwhelmed. But women, have been doing this for years, no? So we go do am.

The way people dey scream divorce you'd think that it was so easy and it really isn't at all.

Why can't Jlo be single? Is it such taboo to be single? I always wonder what drives people to that point where they can't stand to be alone.

It is surprising to me that there are females out there who do not enjoy oral sex.

It's funny how we women are quick to call men out for some stuff that we do. Think about it I am sure you have gone on a few dates or had a good time with a dude and suddenly decided you don't want to talk to them and ignored calls. If it was a dude now, curses would have been rained on his head.

I like gisting with my guy friends. They have some of the most hilarious stories I have ever heard. On the flip, I don't think it helps with my guy cynicism.

I have never kissed anyone at midnight on New Years Day before.

Katherine Heigl said that if she found our her husband was cheating and it was a one time thing, she'd be devastated but she would forgive him and work through things. Now that's all great and dandy but why announce it to all and sundry or let him know for that matter?

"I've learned so much from my mistakes...I'm thinking of making some more". This quote doesn't make sense but i just thought it was cute when I read it.

Have a fantastic weekend guys. As always be safe in all you do and enjoy life to the maximum.

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

Friday Randoms

Howdy Ho guys. I feel like I haven't done this in forever, well actually I haven't. Can you believe we are in December?? Like a whole year flew by just like that *snaps fingers*. We thank God for giving us life to see this month. I have been doing considerably okay, still on the road of recovery, getting back to the swing of things at work (honestly, I don't think I have 100% to give till next year),dashing money to my city's police force via speeding tickets and traffic violations and "recapturing my pearl"(inside joke). How was your thanksgiving? I had a good one, got to see my family and hang out with friends. While people were yammering on about being stuffed, I didn't get to eat much. For some reason, I just didn't have any appetite. Do you realize that we have some kind of holiday going from October to get money going?Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Valentine's...Oh dear, Valentine's is in two months?? moving right along. Let's random.

It's a weird feeling when you recommend a song to someone and they don't like it. Can't imagine how the artists themselves who work hard on a project and get trashed by critics/public feel.

So I have this thing that I'd like to visit all 50 states in the U.S (ha, right?. Well I'm 30 states behind. God give me life and money, let's see what we can do in 2012.

I think it's admirable to own your own business but sometimes I get irked by people who want to shove it down your throat like you're an idiot if you aren't self employed. I mean is it beans to just own your business? biko, shift.

Not sure where I saw this: If you have chemistry, you only need one other thing - timing. Except timing's a bitch.

Why do people feel that their purpose must be this big grandiose thing? Why can't one's purpose be something simple. You don't have to do something big and splashy to leave an impact on someone's life. Everyone isn't a Steve Jobs.

I was making peppersoup the other day and was staring at my dried ukazi and I was wondering if it could be smoked.

Thou shall not compare thyself to anyone. Not healthy. Not wise and just plain useless.

I commented the other day that it seemed majority of my bbm contacts are happy/blessed/favored/thankful. I often wonder if Nigerians are the only ones who love these adjectives and use it as much as my people do.

I read or saw somewhere that whether or not they like it, parents always have a favorite child. They'll NEVER admit it but they do. They think they do a good job of covering it up but often times, it's pretty obvious who it is. I am not sure if I am making this part up, but I hear a lot of the time it's the oldest.

I find it quite amusing that the general thought is that women are crazy. Men have their moments more times than not.

That, which you know is bad for you is what you can't help but want. smh

I've never gone out to eat alone. Has anyone done that?

I've never seen myself as a "shut up and swallow it" kinda person, actually I am quite vocal. If I am annoyed, I don't like to react immediately. I'll talk about it eventually and also you learn to pick your battles and some things just aren't worth it, so I find it interesting that some people perceive me as a "don't speak" kind of person. Actually, some time ago someone told me that he didn't think I would say anything if my husband hit me *major confused face*

How do the muppets get to keep their voices consistent especially when they die?

Is there anyone reading that wouldn't watch porn with their significant other? Please let me know why in the comment box. Thanks!

My friend asked me if I thought it was possible to be in love with someone and still miss sex with another person and I said absolutely. What say ye?

I am not gonna touch the Kim K nonsense but I have to say that Kourtney Kardashian seems depressed. Why stay with someone you find a fault in every second? Speaking of which, why do women who decide to give their cheating husbands another try, make their lives living hell? Noone forced you to stay, so either you truly give it a chance or you just carry go.

I think I don try jare. Y'all have a great weekend. Enjoy yourselves and if you are going to, please drink, drive and sex responsibly.

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Thursday, November 17, 2011

Howdy

As seen on twitter:

"To love is to suffer, to avoid suffering, one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love, to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness."

Did that make sense to you? Let me know your thoughts.

Hi guys, It's been a minute hasn't it? My friend asked if I'd ever blog again and i was like who knows. I have totally lost my blogging mojo. I hope everyone is doing well. I am doing okay and trudging with each day. This cold is not smiling. I don't do well with cold at all. I feel like I am coming down with something but I really hope not. I am looking forward to thanksgiving, not a fan of turkey but looking forward to hanging out with friends and family. Christmas is round the corner guys, anyone else going to Nigeria? I don't yet have naija excitement but I always have a good time there, so we'll see. Yall have a great weekend and stay safe!

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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Happiness

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Random




You can click on it to make it bigger.





*Stolen from RG's blog. Thanks!:D

Monday, October 17, 2011

Female Health

Hi Guys. Long time no blog. Thanks to everyone who reached out and checked up on me. I had my surgery last Tuesday and it went well. I am home now on bed rest, healing well so far and OD'ing on pain pills. My mom has practically been an angel since I can't really do much of anything - although I can take a shower myself now and get off the bed without help woot! woot! - I am truly, truly grateful that she could make it back here.

Ok, back to my topic. I just listened to an interview with Guiliana Rancic on her breast cancer. For those of you that may not know, Guiliana has also been public about how difficult it has been for her to conceive after trying IVF twice before, miscarrying on the first try and it not taking on the second try. Her third attempt, her doctor forced her to get a mammogram even though she is just 36 and that's how it was discovered. I just kept thinking that she doesn't deserve this on top of that, so why her?

I think I really took notice of this because I know how many times the word cancer kept being thrown out to me during the time I was doing many tests. In fact, not until 2 days before my surgery was cancer ruled out completely and nothing quite rocks your world like hearing that word. Guiliana as a precaution took the breast cancer gene test a few years ago and didn't test positive for it. Her family also has no history of cancer. I remember when the doctor would try to reassure me and be like for someone your age there's only a 3% chance of cancer but I wasn't reassured because I really feel stuff we eat in this country is messing with our bodies and all these stats are changing.

They tell you not to get a mammogram till 40 but more and more people my age and younger are getting breast cancer or ovarian cancer prognoses. I am probably biased but as if it is not enough that we deal with periods every month (some painful). I feel we have all these other things that we have to deal with that men don't necessarily have to. Everything has a fighting chance if caught early, so I beg you ladies to always listen to your body and see a doctor when you feel something is off. October is Breast Cancer Awareness month but we should be aware always of everything going on in our body. She's probably never going to see this but I wish Guiliana all the best with surgery and radiation, I hope she pulls through and gets that baby that she wants Amen.

I'll stop now before I get preachy :D. Have a great week ahead and P.S If you aren't watching Homeland, you should.

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Sunday, October 2, 2011

Life is what happens...

...while you are busy making plans.

A few weeks ago, my concerns included sulking about a boy/figuring out how to make the Adele concert/what to wear to a wedding etc etc. In the last week, my priorities have become trying to keep up with my doctor appointments and figuring out which hospital or specialist I am seeing on that particular day.

A month ago, I started having abdominal pains but I am the kind to brush things off and ride the pain out. It didn't go away and my brother urged me to see a doctor. I went to see the doctor and she shoo'd me away with antibiotics. I dutifully took it and the pain didn't go away and it was becoming worse, so I went back to see another doctor last week Monday. I was actually going to cancel the appointment but went ahead anyways. Well, one abdominal pain complaint led to a week of tests upon tests and surgery next week.

It's all been so surreal because you watch these things on TV and in the movies but never think it'd be you. I am sitting in the doctor's office and watching her mouth move as she is listing things and all I can wonder is if she is really talking to me.(Why are doctors always so cheerful regardless of what news they are breaking to you?). A friend who is a doctor, came along with me on Friday to the doctor and she said, this was the first time she saw how it was to be on the other side and it was just a lot of info.

I am pretty tough when it comes to a lot of things but I am not gonna front and say I am not scared. I am. I go through waves when I am okay and I tell myself everything will be okay but then at random times, I just start crying. I am scared about a lot of things. Surgery itself, my job (i have to be out for 6 weeks), medical costs ( I have insurance and I have spent $500 alone in the last week. I don't know how people without insurance do it) and just stuff. But as always, I am touched by the thoughtfulness of my friends and their offer to help. All I really wanted was my mom and I am so relieved that she is dropping everything and coming next week.

Anyhue, I am keeping the faith and holding it together but I am not ashamed to ask you all for your prayers, because you can never get enough of those. So whether you are the praying kind or not, be kind enough to drop one line for me. I still am not 100% in the clear and this week brings about a bunch of new tests and pre op stuff with one of the surgeons but I am thinking positive. Speaking to friends in the medical field, )I hope I am not being humored) but it doesn't sound so terrible, I guess just to me the lay man it's just a bit scary. If nothing else guys, always listen to your body and if something isn't right, just go check it out.

I can't believe I hated this song when I first heard it.

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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Monday, September 12, 2011

My To-Do List

Fairy God Mother Lucid decided that since this is my last year being in my twenties, she would give me a to-do list to accomplish before I hit the big 3-0. I dunno if the title was supposed to be "Ways to ruin my life (and credit) haha but I loved it and it made me smile, so thanks Mama Lucid.

Enjoy:

1) Call in sick to work and take yourself shopping, watch a matinee and eat copious amounts of your favorite ice cream in an outdoor cafe.

2) Max out your credit card for no reason. Buy your self an entire wardrobe if you want but max out one card because next year, you will have to start being “responsible.”

3) Get drunk at a bar/night club and dance on a table.

4) Get kicked out or a bar.

[side bar] you don’t have to do number 4 and number 5 on the same night. Pace yourself girl.[/sidebar]

5) Drive really really fast.

6) Get in a fist fight.

7) Have a one night stand.

8) Do NOT date your one night stand.

9) Show up to work still drunk from the night before. Tell everyone you caught a bug. No one will know the difference.

10) Stalk your crush and steal an item of clothing that belongs to him, preferably a shirt. Sniff it when you dream of him as your baby daddy.

11) Cry like a baby when that guy that you had dinner with did not call. And you really really liked him.

12) When you feel like things are going really bad and you feel overwhelmed, allow yourself to have a meltdown.

13) Don’t feel embarrassed about your meltdown. You just saved yourself some serious dough on shrink bills in the future.

14) Let that guy that has been harassing you take you out to dinner. Then order the most expensive items on the menu.

15) Have sex in a public bathroom and the back of a car, but not on an airplane bathroom. This is post 9/11.

16) Date two guys that are friends. The order in which you date them is up to you.

17) Discontinue useless friendships.

18) Wear something that is so NOT you and will raise eyebrows and a possible write-up at work.

19) Have a drink before noon.

20) Spend a night in jail for a misdemeanor that has to do with any of the above.


You can make it more fun for yourself and figure out which ones I have already done. Naturally, I am not gonna tell you which ones they are :p

Have a lovely week my people!

I like this song a lot

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Sunday, September 11, 2011

Funny

Stolen from another blog..

I should add that I don't believe all men are assholes or are all basically the same. #carryon







The original Spartacus from the show - Spartacus, Andy Whitfield passed away today at the age of 39 from cancer. May his soul rest in peace.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

+1

Well, I blinked and suddenly it's my birthday. I am 29 today and I am thankful to see another day. Thankful for my health, my family, my friends and everything else. I was too exhausted to be excited as I usually am but my friend dragged me out and I got a bit of excitement going - maybe it was the Ciroc in my system lol. It's amazing but I know at least 4 or is it 5 other people who share this date with me. I got a little patch of sadness during the night but meh such is life, guess it's time to close the door and move on. Let the healing process begin.

Thank you to everyone for their birthday wishes, I truly appreciate it.

Happy Birthday to me :)

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Randoms

Howdy Ho people, how goeth life? Once again I am glad it's Friday. Happy new month people, we are into the -mber months, which means it's going to fly by and before you know it, a new year is upon us. Tick.Tock people lol. Speaking of time flying, I went to see a friend who had a baby and it's so weird to see college friends I partied with being parents, some on their second child. My sleep cycle is still shit, but I did try Yoga on saturday. I definitely rolled my eyes a lot but it wasn't so terrible, I'll go back. Oh yea, I got into my journal for a few days and now it's being tossed aside. I should just accept writing isn't for me jo. Anyhue, let's random.

Oh twitter, twitter, twitter...

It's funny how I saw someone's tweet that said they use their skype more than their phone. Having a bb that's definitely not the case for me, in fact whenever my skype pops up(it automatically comes on when my laptop is switched on), it says: Your contacts have not been very active lately.

I read this somewhere: " I can’t think of anything lonelier than spending the rest of my life with someone I can’t talk to, or worse, someone I can’t be silent with". I couldn't agree more. I remember asking a friend of mine how he knew his wife was who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and one of his reasons was he could be silent with her. Comfortable silence is highly underrated.

I still get surprised when people do nice things for me.

It's funny how Tia and Tamera are identical twins but somehow Tamera is prettier.

I got a number of people telling me to make my own video for Oliver. While $2500 is awesome money, I'd rather not have a public video of me shaking yansh to Oliver, there's enough already out there anyways (I'd totally murk it tho! hehe)

Internalizer toh bad.

For anyone who watches Breaking Bad, it irks me that Walt still uses a flip phone. Whenever I see one in real life actually, I am still taken aback.

If I had the opportunity, I don't think I'd want to date a celeb whether a Nigerian one or an American. I don't think I could handle it.

Ripe has been added to my yucky, dirty sounding vocab list.

One of my promotional events for work is sponsoring a Gay and Lesbian Film Festival. I often wonder what it would be like if someone who was vehemently opposed to the gay and lesbian lifestyle were in this position. Would they decline to work the event?

You know, when you don't get to see your parents often, the first thing that hits you when you do is how much they've aged over the years. It's a bit sad.Makes you very aware of their mortality.

I haven't been to a Zumba class in a while, so I went last week. After the class, I had a number of people come up to compliment me on my dancing and one lady actually said she can tell I do African dance (shio!)and for a second I missed my old dance group, I could totally return but men rehearsals were a bitch. I need to get back to things I used to do before school ate up my time like volunteering.

This week 2 of my friends who didn't know each other asked me for my ring size. I thought it was funny considering. In case you were wondering, I have no idea what it is.

Oh yea if you ever have this conversation where a friend asks are you single? "I know a guy, he is xyz years old, he is tall and cute and ready to marry/searching/looking to settle down". I can guarantee you 95% of the time that the dude is Igbo.

Cancer is a bitch.

Finally, I read a blog post in which a male commented saying: "Hell, should it not be fairly easier to be kind, courteous, and charming while remaining distant then unnecessarily going the extra yard for someone you’re pretty ambivalent on?". He was talking about a guy's attitude to a girl he isn't really feeling anymore. At first, I agreed with him, cuz really I don't think one needs to be a jackass just because you aren't feeling a chick anymore, but I took a second and thought about it and I wondered, how can you be kind, courteous and charming and be distant at the same time? is that possible?

Okay people, that's all I got. I am headed to the city that has my heart tomorrow and as usual I am overpacking. I am looking forward to it, I need it and I intend to have an awesome time. Naughty little me already found an aphrodisiac bar called OralFix, I totally intend to try it out and see if the side effects they promise are actually true. It's going to be a busy week for me, I come back Monday and immediately head out of town again for work on Tuesday but I am grateful for the distraction. Have a wonderful Labor Day weekend.

Once again I have two songs for today.

The first comes from Amos Lee whose music is a combination of like folk, rock, soul and whatever else. I just think this song is so "pretty" and chilled. I love it.

Amos Lee - Hello Again

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You can't go wrong with R. Kelly. I like this song because it's sexy in a mature way and not all sleazed up as is characteristic of him.

R.Kelly - Taxi Cab

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Shoutout to Youtube for just being awesome. Actually shout out to Google. Alright I am out for real. Kisses!




Monday, August 29, 2011

I need...

As seen on a blog on my blog rounds:

I need someone who is prepared for:

A million questions
Uncontrollable laughter
My family
My appetite
Musical outbursts
Random dancing
My friends
Sad/Happy tears
Deep Talks
My imagination
My dreams
Walks in the rain
Random Texts
Useless arguments
...and acceptance of the real me.

So take away walks in the rain, give or take that appetite could be for both food and sex, add bbms to texts, know the random dancing could also be just being random and yea I totally agree with the list. Whatchu think?


Have a great week ahead :)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

30 mins to Friday

I was going to title the post It's Friday but it won't be for another 30 and some minutes. There should be randoms but there won't be. So many thoughts, so many feelings but nothing that can be put here. This is probably why my sleep habits have been shit the last month or so. My trainer was on some, I don't enter some realm of sleep or something, so the slightest things wakes me up so I am not really sleeping, which just sounded weird. I don't know how I make it through the day really but I am tired a lot. I think if I can figure out how to shut my brain off it might help, thinking about trying yoga again. When I first tried it, it just freaked me out, it was too...serene. I felt like I could hear my thoughts, but it's worth a shot.

I've never had a high threshold for pain, well unless it's waxing or piercings - speaking of which I want a piercing but I can't think of where to get it, I'm all grown now so I will probably settle for a 4th on my ear (how boring) - this is no different,feels like punishment and it's funny how everytime still cuts like the first time. Ha, probably why I ran. Anyhues, enough of my whining. Yall have a good weekend, enjoy and good times. I should have randoms next week!

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

The tragedy of missing out

A friend posted this on twitter and I thought it was a great read. I shared it with some friends but I figure I'd post it on here. Enjoy.

A father and his son went fishing on a small boat, hungry.
The father helped his son reel in his first fish, and it was a beauty. “Great catch, son,” the father said.
“Yes, but I’m worried I’m missing out on better fish,” the son said. “What if I could catch a bigger, tastier fish?”
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching an even bigger fish an hour later. “A real beaut,” the father said.
“But what if there are better fish out there?” the son asked.
“Maybe you should try,” the father said.
And the son did, catching a bigger fish, then wondering if there were better fish, catching another, and so on.
At the end of the day, the son was exhausted. The father asked, “How did the fish taste?”
The son hesitated. “I’m not sure. I was so busy looking for better fish that I didn’t taste any of them.”
The father smiled contentedly, patted his belly. “Don’t worry. They were delicious.”



We are all of us like the son. We all worry, at some time or other, that we’re missing out on things.
It’s why we’re so busy — we take on so much because we don’t want to miss out. We take on dozens of goals and aspirations, because we don’t want to miss out.
But here’s the bare truth: we will miss out, no matter what. It’s inevitable. We cannot do or try everything in the world, even with lives twice as long. We cannot see every town and city, read every interesting book, watch every important film. We will always, always miss out.

Here’s the second, more important truth: if you always worry about what you’re missing out on, you will miss out on what you already have.
Don’t make a reading list a mile long — focus on the book in your hand. Don’t pack your vacation itinerary with every highlight of the city you’re visiting — walk around and enjoy what you find. Don’t worry about traveling the entire world — be delighted with the world around you. Don’t worry about what you’re missing online, or in the news — what you’re doing is good enough.

And let go of your long to-do lists and goal lists. They are a futile attempt to keep from missing out. You will miss out, but in striving to do everything, you’ll miss out on the wonder of the thing you are doing right now.
What you’re doing right now is all that matters. Let the rest go, and enjoy the fish you’ve already caught.


*I did not write this. This was written by Leo Babauta and I got this from http://zenhabits.net/miss/

Friday, August 19, 2011

Friday Randoms

Hi guys, hope y'all are doing well. I had a pretty uneventful week and it went by really quickly. Hmm, I actually can't think of anything to talk about, that's how uneventful my week was. Summer is technically almost over but since I am in Texas, I think I still have a few months in...Ok, I have resorted to talking about the weather sha. I will stop this and just go straight to randoming.

So, in naija songs and here and there, I have heard some naija men mention being lightskinned to a woman as a compliment. It makes me uncomfortable.

Are there any guys that don't snore?

I went out last weekend and hit the drive through afterwards. There was a cab in front of us with some drunk white girls. I couldn't help but wonder if the meter was running and if it was if they were even aware, cuz we sure were in line for a while.

Why are my people (nigerians) so into appearances and flossing? It's like a sport to make sure everyone knows what you have or are doing and how you are living it up. It's not cute.

When people say f*ck or fck, not sure what I am missing but are we not supposed to know they are saying fuck? Does it make you classier? I mean you might as well, write what it is and if you have a problem with the word, just don't use it.

So like emm, watching True Blood I wondered how these vamps give head. Don't the fangs interfere?

In today's #weirdtaynementnews, Ricky Gervais featured on Curb your enthusiasm on sunday (still everly hilarious)and I thought to myself, this man isn't cute but he could get it. I don't know what it is about him - you may commence judgement. Oh, Turtle from Entourage too. :)

I read something online about some celeb's ex who was giving his new girl trouble. Calling and hanging up, leaving hateful voicemails. Why do people do that? Ok fine, pain, hurt etc but do that ish in private na. Call your friend up and vent or something, going all that extra mile won't bring him back to you. It's over.

There are naija songs begging to be danced to in Naija this december. And that is all folks.

Have you ever wished that you never met someone?

I have been looking for tickets to Nigeria and spoken to a lot of travel agents. Why do they [majority of the time] always try to change your dates? I mean if I was flexible I would have told you in the beginning.

Speaking of travel agents, why are most of them middle eastern/indian?

The myth is that big girls work harder in bed. Assuming it's true, do they still maintain the work ethic if they lose weight?

That's all I got today folks. Have a wonderful weekend. I think I have a fun one planned. Have some friends coming into town and they are always a good time so fingers crossed.

I couldn't decide which song to post so I decided to post both songs. Who says it has to be just one song, right?

My booboo. My voice. I was tripping hard when I heard this song and said it sucked. This song is amazeballs and I love it. When he hits that falsetto...

Frank Ocean - Thinking about you
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This man/group whatever brings a smile to my face. I don't think I will ever get tired of listening to him. I think this song is sweet.

The Weeknd - Rescue you
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Thursday, August 11, 2011

Randoms

Hey people. I figured I'd just post this before I pass out. I just got back from dinner with the Moms and I ate too damn much, I can literally feel my stomach stretching, yuck. Oh, speaking of the Moms, I can't believe she got carded tonight, granted they claim that Texas has a strict state law with alcohol blah blah, it was hilarious sha. It's been fun having my mom around sha even though she stays calling me "mad girl" :(. We've shopped so damn much, I have fulfilled my quota for the year. The last couple of days, I have come home from work to find my mom, lounging on the sofa in my dresses, smiling sheepishly. Come to find out she had gone through my closet and tried on my dresses and I only got spared some cuz "they were so short". Oh and once she was in front of my mirror dancing (guess I am her daughter). She's listening to a lot of Top 40 music and stays humming to them. "Give me everything" is her favorite, she asked me who the boy was that sings the chorus because "he has a lovely voice and I don't understand what the other man is saying before then". She asked who sang the "I'm into you" song and wondered why she never heard the "boom boom" song in nigeria - that would be Super Bass, people (her jam). Ok I could go on and on so I'll stop. I'll miss her when she leaves :(. Random shall we?

Not that I intend to, but I think I understand a little why people settle.

"Some niggas recognize the light but can't handle the glare" - A line from "The Light" by Common. Beautiful lyrics all around.

So ehn, this ogbanje show or True Blood as it's better known as gets weirder and weirder each week. I won't lie, I think of myself as an enlightened Nigerian but biko, I still have Nigerian suspicion in me. If I was an actor I dunno if I would have liver to do some of the scenes they have on there. Like the whole witch scene last week and the chanting will spook me the hell out.

Still on True Blood, yes I know it's acting but err the actors who play Bill and Sookie dey try. I wonder if he is able to watch the sex scenes between Sookie and Eric. Again, I know it's acting but fact is she is still topless. Aren't most men really protective of their wives/girls?

I like how the default assumption when I say I am single is "maybe you are picky". Someone, I hadn't spoken to in forever just said that to me. Err, you don't know me.

Added to my dirty (sounding) word list - spurt

I don't really like small talk sha, you know - how are you? how is work? etc. I usually can't wait for that part to be done. A friend of mine always complains that I start a convo with her from the middle, instead of saying hello, I go in like we've been talking forever lol

"What doesnt break you, changes you and not always for the better"


What makes Louboutins so great? Why is it always on people's wish lists? I should try a pair and see if I feel different. Don't get me wrong, if I got it as a gift, I'd probably appreciate but I think I'd prefer an airline gift certificate or travel voucher or something before those.

I watch trashy reality shows. Bad Girls Club is one of them - oh, feel free to judge me. Anyways, in one scene this girl is yarning with a dude in the house and all of a sudden she goes "do you wanna have a deep conversation or do you wanna fuck cuz I can go either way". That was hella hilarious to me. No beating around the bush. Just in case you were curious the answer was the latter.

I don't think it's so weird that I like to plan waaay ahead for stuff. It just makes everything easier. Most of my guy friends are so scatter brained, its frustrating planning stuff. The whole go with the flow thing makes me itch.

My friend was telling me how she went to a psychic. I don't think I will ever see one.

Read this on someone's blog: “Oh I pray to him everynight but looks like they all go to voicemail”. That was funny - and not because I could relate *cough*

Alrighty, that's all I have. Hope you all have a fun weekend, I intend to. I have a couple of friends coming into town, one or two shindigs to attend and will hang with the Moms. Stay safe everyone and let's all say a prayer or two for all the unrest around the world. Have a lovely weekend!!

I love this song. I love her version. I love her voice. I love the words.



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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Pick me, Choose me, Love me....then Discuss

Before I post the topic of discussion, I have to preface it by saying that even though Grey's Anatomy is shit now, there was once a time it was a really good show. Ok, maybe shit is harsh but it definitely has more down than up episodes. Anyways, I really despised Meredith, my best friend never quite got why I couldn't stand her, she thought I would be able to relate to her (oh dear god, yuck!). I vividly remember that episode, when Derek was torn between Addison and herself and she told him:

"okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. but, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. so pick me, choose me, love me".

Dear God, I cringed. I remember feeling so embarassed for Meredith. I remember wondering what kind of woman loses her pride and dignity for a man all in the name of love. *insert image of Igbo woman spitting and saying "Tufia!".

Well I was 24 then...

....Now I'm almost 29

And boy do I get it.... (umm not saying I don reach Meredith level oh, that was deep)

You see for some, it's pretty easy to just let people in and let things be and for others e.g me it requires more effort, effort I am willing to put in as much as I can. Looking back, I think that was a brave thing she did. She put herself out there, laid all her cards on the table and took a risk. Risks can be good..and can be bad. There are only two ways it can turn out. If things do go bad, like the resilient human beings that we are, we will recover.

Okay na, all my long tori was resurrected because I came across a speech Meredith gave on the most recent season that reminded me of the speech above and maybe shift small in my chair:

There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone.It wasnt cos I thot I'd be happy alone.It was becos I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart,I might not make it.It's easier to be alone, because what if u learn that u need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? If you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can u even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage.It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? Could go on forever.


This is where the discuss part comes in. I would really love to hear what your thoughts are on this, I think I gave my thoughts on this in my yakking above. Have a wonderful rest of the week!

PS Those of you who like to give me your opinion via chat or bbm mba mba, I don't want to hear, write it here :D

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. Hope everyone is doing well. Well it's weekend again. We thank God for the ability to see another Friday cuz not everyone was that fortunate. It's been an emotional week for me but moms being around helps in terms of distraction. All she wants to do is shop, so after work I drive her around. I intend to spoil her a bit this weekend and hit her with a massage, mani/pedi etc. I had her thread her eyebrows yesterday and it was hilarious, cuz her pain threshold is really low. I kept laughing as she squealed in pain. It's cool having her around sha. I don't have that many randoms this week, so this should be quick. Let's go:

I always joke that everyone I love always ends up leaving me especially since all my good friends have up and left my dry city. Now the last of my friends are leaving soon and I am gonna miss them :(

I have never understood getting closure from someone else when a relationship ends. Something I learned a few years ago. Some may disagree with me but only you can give yourself closure. Sure as human beings, you may want to know why but honestly I think it's pointless.

I went to a strip club last weekend. I was majorly bothered by this one fat - no not phat- but fat stripper who had on glasses. Like a stripper with glasses though??

I don't like being called "kid", I know people don't mean it that way but I think it's condescending. It's one of the reasons I hated Big's character on SATC. He used to call Carrie kid. Yuck.

Men are from mars and women are from venus.

I think I have mentioned this before. I don't think there is such a thing as an emotionally unavailable man - he's just not that into you.

Fellas, if you met an awesome girl who met most of what you were looking for but didn't give head, is that a deal breaker? Oh and she wouldn't expect you to dine on southern cuisine either. I'd ask females but females in general are more accepting of stuff.

Smash into you.

Today on the radio, they mentioned that if you had a kid at 31, your kid will be 9 when you are 40. That didn't really sit well with me sha. I always used to want to wait 3 years after marriage before I had kids but seeing as I have no clue when that will be and I am 29 already, that might not be the case. Have I ever mentioned that I want 4 kids? lol. Even i laugh when I say that, I'll probably have 2. Yes biological clock is real, I think about kids more these days *covers face in shame*

Why are my instincts always right about everyone else except in my own case? Or are they right and I turn a blind eye?

That's all I got folk. Y'all have a great weekend and stay blessed! :)

Amy Winehouse - Tears dry on their own
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Wednesday, August 3, 2011

We all try

Today has just been one of those days. I feel drained, almost wary but God dey. And because he does, I said a prayer. I really should get better with my praying habits. Like I pray every morning and almost all nights and I am sure to pray for my friends especially when they have something big coming up but I know I could do better and have some real conversations with Baba God. Anyways, like I said I said a prayer to God, so now I need to find a way to get out of my head and just let him do what He does and take care of everything. In addition to praying, I also listened to Frank Ocean's "We all Try" a lot. As corny as it sounds, that song for some reason just gives me hope when I feel overwhelmed (my friend thinks that it's strange that of all songs it's this one lol).

i believe jehovah jireh
i believe there's heaven
i believe in war
i believe a woman's temple
gives her the right to choose
but baby don't abort
i believe that marriage isn't
between a man & woman
but between love and love
and i believe you when you say that
you've lost all faith
but you must believe in something
something something
you gotta believe in something
something something

i still believe in man
a wise one asked me why
cause i just don't believe we're wicked
i know that we sin but i do believe we try
we all try
the girls try
the boys try
women try
men try
you and i
try try we all try

i don't believe in time travel
i don't believe our nation's flag is on the moon
i don't believe our lives are simple
and i don't believe they're short
this is interlude
i don't believe my hands are cleanly
can't believe that you would
let me touch your heart
she didn't believe me when i said that
i lost my faith
said you must believe in something
something something
you gottta believe in something
something something



I really do like that line - I believe you when you say that you've lost all faith, but you must believe in something.

Have a great rest of the week.

PS I have been making noise about getting one and I finally got a journal. Let's see how long I last with this.

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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Top 5 takes on love

Some of you may know Whitney Cummings from the Chelsea Handler show. She got her own show and wrote 5 funny (not to be taken seriously)takes on love. They were:

1. If porn was made for women, it would be two hours of snuggling and at the end the guy would propose. I would watch that.

2. Women don't like men in uniform. We like men with jobs.

3. What's worse? Googling your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend or your current boyfriend's ex-girlfriend.

4. Romantic comedies make us believe in fate and destiny. Fate and Destiny are strippers.

5. What's so cool about dating a DJ? All they do is play other people's music. That's like wanting to date a valet because he drives a nice car.

Have a nice week ahead people!

Friday, July 29, 2011

Friday Randoms

Youp, Youp. It's another Friday. It's quite redundant to keep repeating how fast time is going, so I won't talk about it. It's almost 12.30am here and I just got done dancing not too long ago. Every now and then, ok maybe more times than usual, I get my playlist going and dance around my room or in front of my mirror, gets me in a good mood. Down side, is I am coming off the high and now it's back to reality. No yip yapping. Random time.

I have to wonder what it's like to have twins that are so vastly different. When I say different I mean one healthy and one with a disability. Watching a documentary and one kid is healthy, while the other has cerebral palsy or like with that one family about little people, where one twin was normal sized and the other a little person. I often wonder if the "normal" kid feels any guilt.

My friend said not everyone who gets married believes in it. Yay? Nay?

Is it against the law to watch porn on a plane?

I can't remember what I was reading but it basically advised that you shouldn't do a job that you don't like for too long because it will eventually show and they will get rid of you anyways.

I have often wondered the difference between a bestie and a bff. I noticed it's used more by the younger peeps but I think Lohi clarified on twitter than one (I forget) is for a male and the other for a girl.Lol, I am definitely getting old.

My friend asked me randomly, if I still had a crush on someone I had a crush on in college. I said no. She said how come? what happened? She's not the first to ask that question, but it still surprises me. I believe people change, get older, I dunno. I likened it to not having feelings anymore for an ex.

It's a major turn off when someone asks someone out on a date and has no plans. "What do you wanna do?" blech.

I need to hire someone in my house solely for the purpose of zipping me up.I swear sometimes, it feels like I popped a shoulder out trying to zip up my dress.

I have mad respect for TV writers. It's no easy feat to keep shows going for seasons with an interesting storyline. Kudos to them.

Would you shop for a wedding dress with your fiance?

I saw a movie preview with Anna Faris the other day, something about her exes and failed relationships. Come to find out she was not being herself in each relationship and was being whoever she thought the guy wanted to be. One of the movie lines that stood out was a question she was asked by her friend, "How do you know what you want when you don't even know who you are?"

"As we grow up, we realize it becomes less important to have tons of friends, and more important to have real ones"

I noticed most of the people who are anti e-readers are people who don't own or have tried one.

Finally ladies, listen up and listen good. Culled from BGAE blog: "It doesn't matter how you look or how much you weigh, you are a woman, and if you have enough swag, 90% of the men in this world will not be able to resist you". I don't have statistics to back up the 90%. but you get the gist of what he was saying.

That's all I got today. Headed out of town tomorrow, I really should be sleeping. Have a great weekend. I intend to. Muah!

Just cuz I was sampling the Psquare album. Here's a song of theirs that I really like.

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Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Secrets to Adulthood

Saw this on another blog and liked it. Thought I'd share. I actually practice and agree with almost all of them. Enjoy.

Secrets to Adulthood

1. No one really cares!

2. Seriously, Its okay to say No

3. Don't expect too much from people.

4. Do good, feel good

5. It's important to be nice to everyone

6. If you can't find something, clean up

7. Not everyone is like you

8. Put yourself in other people's shoes

9. No one likes a selfish friend

10. Talk less about people

11. Cook more. It can make you happier

12. Lists work wonders

13. Your 20's are for experimenting!

14. Having a good support system is better than money. Sometimes

15. Exercise if an effective way to snap out of a funk

16. Great thoughts are conceived while walking

17. Never dress for him/her/them. Dress for you.

18. Junk attracts more junk. Spiritually, in friendships and in closets.

19. Do it now! Apply the one-minute rule. Anything that requires less than a minute, do it now

20. Sharing. Easier said than done

21. Always have a pen

22. Everyone loves a little extra love/attention. Not just on birthdays.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Guest Randoms

Hi guys. I have nothing for y'all. It's been a long week and I am tired in all ways(Is life really this complicated or do we make it complicated?). Anyhue, I am checking my email and I have an email from Swanboy with a bunch of randoms letting me know I could post or disregard. Since I got nothing, I decided to post them. Hope y'all enjoy and have a good week ahead.

PS - RIP to Amy Winehouse. I hope she finds the peace she never had here. It's genuinely sad. She was extremely talented and people just never realize the strength of addiction. We are all addicted to something or the other. We tell ourselves we will quit or we will try and do better and we don't. We are lucky they are minute things that don't cause immediate harm to us, hers unfortunately happened to be drugs and it got the better of her. God grant strength and peace to her family and loved ones.


Anyone who knows me knows I have necrophobia. In others words, dead people or anything associated with them (coffins, funerals etc) scare the shit out of me. Recently, I tried facing my fears by watching the comedy “Death at a Funeral.” I couldn’t make it past the first scene without freaking out. Then I laughed at myself. As big as I am. SMH.

For the same reasons as above, I still punk out whenever I’m asked to go into a haunted house at a theme park. Ah well…

Am I the only one who is taken aback whenever I see a white girl with an appreciable derriere? I take it for granted among black women and Latinos, but whenever I see a white girl with one; I wonder where the heck she got it from. One white friend of mine said she had black blood way back in her history.

In this day and age of 50% divorce, I refuse to pop the question until I am 110% convinced that my life is not worth living without the lady in question in it. Sometimes, I think that day will never come. That said, I don’t believe in the soul mate concept.

I think the rate of douchebaggery among people is steadily on the increase. Even “cool peeps” are being jerks nowadays, what gives?

Taynement once asked me what my greatest fear is. My greatest fear is that my life wouldn’t have mattered at all when I’m dead and gone. I really worry about it.

I love watching classic movies on TCM because I get to see pure talented acting, unaided by modern technology. Very few actors today have pure acting talent. In those days, you either could act or you couldn’t. It wasn’t about your looks or the rate you attracted controversy. It was entirely about how you handled the silver screen. How many people today can be compared to Cary Grant, Rex Harrison, Laurence Olivier, Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn and Audrey Hepburn? No, I’m not 50 or even middle-aged.

Speaking about movies, quality movies take a long time to make (about a year and a half on the average). Therefore, as long as Nollywood continues to spend a mere three days filming, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and “To God Be the Glory?”, I refuse to have any respect for that industry. That said, big props to the likes of Genevieve Nnaji.

Grad school has seen to it that I rarely have a life. If I ever make it out, I’ll never listen to my parents ever again. “It’ll go by quickly” they said, Bollocks.

I am really getting turned off by African Pentecostalism. The emphasis these days seems to be all about having God solve your problems as opposed to having genuine love for and awe of him. The biblical Job said, “Though he may slay me, yet will I trust him.” I am the last person to opine on religion and spiritualism but I wonder how many people would fill the church pews if they weren’t chasing “divine healing” and facing “demonic attacks”. Also remember when salvation was free? Today you have to sow a “seed offering”.

Yet on the same subject, my friend’s recent status on Facebook spoke volumes. “Calling on God to destroy your enemies with ‘Holy Ghost Faya’ is not being Christian.”

I kicked off my annual summer reading ritual last month and I was having a “Kindle vs Real Book” debate with some friends recently. One friend said “I think if I need to 'digest' information contained in a book, the kindle is where it’s at, but if I want to 'enjoy' a book, I'm not going to get it on the Kindle.” I couldn’t agree more.

Come oh, when did Nigeria decide it wanted to be the bombing capital of Africa?

Lest I overstay my welcome on our Host’s page I’ll leave it here, but before I go, here’s the LWKMD of the day: “The Nigerian prostitutes are calling on Immigration Officials to arrest and deport the foreign prostitutes because they are snatching their customers and also operating illegally in the country. “We want them out because most of our customers are Hausa who prefer them to us,” says one of the prostitutes at Mammy Market, Sokoto. So much for Sharia Law. You may read the rest here http://pmnewsnigeria.com/2011/07/22/nigerian-sex-workers-want-foreign-rivals-deported/

Keeping with Taynement’s custom of ending with a song, here’s Amy Winehouse’s ‘Rehab’. Her death is tragic if not shocking. As one of my friend’s noted, “I am glad she got to witness the end of one if the tabloid papers that tormented her before she died.”

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Friday, July 15, 2011

Tid Bits

A friend of mine asked me what my thoughts were on Soulmates. I've never quite believed in the concept of soulmates, mostly because I don't think there's that one person for everyone. You can be happy with more than one person, it's just a matter of timing and who you end up with and decide to make it work. Other questions asked were if you are married to someone does it mean they are your soulmate? Can the person you marry grow to be a soulmate? Who knows the answers? not I. We are a society in love with labels, to me all this is meaningless.

I am currently watching the HBO documentary Hot Coffee. Yankee na 419 country with structure. I totally had the wrong impression about the lady who sued Mcdonald's because the coffee was so hot. Apparently there were 700 burn complaints before her and Mcdonalds didn't pay them any mind. The pictures of the burns were pretty damn graphic and she was an old lady.

Lol, someone described me as emotionally damaged today. See my life oh! It wasn't said maliciously and I got what they were trynna say. I am really not any worse or better than the average person :D

House of Balloons na gbaka m n'isi. There goes your igbo lesson of the day. ha!

Breaking Bad is a great show.

You know, when someone asks me how I am, I can genuinely say fine. I really can't complain much, life is good and for that I am grateful. Still kinks here and there that need working out but in general I am good.

I just found out a good friend of mine who I thought didn't read my blog reads this. She really isn't into blogs but said she reads it to know what to ask me since I am never forthcoming. Whatever.

I found my dream job in Nigeria but they won't call/contact me back :(

Who remembers the song from Sound of Music that starts with what will my future beeee? I wonder...

The world is a small place. Always be on your best behaviour.

I had something I wanted to mention but I don't remember so I guess I am done. I am in town this weekend yay! These are getting rare, will be back in the sky next week. Have a great weekend everyone and be safe!

Oh before I forget, I updated my neglected sister blog,so take a sec to check it out if you can. www.tayne-ment.blogspot.com

Ok bye for real.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Untitled

Hey folks, no I still don't have anything to write about. Which means Mr Kay9 that no there will be no Drake "Best I ever had" reenactment up in this piece. I laughed out loud sha, nice try! I got a few suggestions via email. I will see what I can do with it. I just wanted to post a poem by a friend of mine that I really liked. Hope you enjoy. Have a lovely rest of the week!



His notoriety precedes him
Giant ears flapping
Offering a wind of change
Skin rough enough to cut through the silence

A deafening silence
Hollow glances exchanged
Trapped in this ever encroaching space
We are about to be trampled

The quaking ascends
Neither seek refuge
The bellowing a welcome break from our silence
Nothing left to salvage here?

Its sheer size threatening our existence
Stoic we remain, immovable
Furtive glances exchanged
Paralyzed otherwise

In he thunders
Glorious ivory tusks glistening
Destroying all in his path
Leaving behind no we, no us

And just like we never were
He saunters off into the distance
Pink tail swishing lazily
Triumphant

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Blogger's Block

Hi Guys, it's Monday's Eve (booo!). I had a good weekend, my momma is in town and it was really nice seeing her, she looks pretty good for her age and I hope that passes down to me oh. It's always so funny standing beside her, because as short as I am, I am still taller than she is. I am all stocked up on my naija stuvvs although they seized my gala (waah!).

So, the whole point of my post is that for the life of me I can't seem to come up with any topics to write about. I waltz in here with my randoms every now and then and that's about it. WHat happened to the days I had actual stuff to talk about? I'd really like to write something that's not a random and this is where y'all come in. If you are up to it, you could recommend topics for me to write on and I'll see what I can do. The other option is something I tried on my 100th post that failed ever so woefully when I had offered to do a Q&A where you could ask me anything and I'd reply and post it up.

Soooo, in conclusion hit me up with your suggestions and/or questions either in the comment box or via email taynement@gmail.com. Please note that if there are questions, I am at liberty to pick and choose oh! hehehe. Well I am off now, on to continue the cycle of sleep, wake up, work for the man and countdown to 5pm/friday.

Please pray for all those in Lagos who have been affected by the flood. I know some people have made jokes or made light of the situation but I can't help but think of the less fortunate or poor people so to speak who will probably have no way of dealing with any damage the flood might have caused. My brother says this is the worst he has seen of the rainy season. Alright later my lovelies!

Oh enjoy this cover of Kanye's "All of the Lights" by The Portland Cello Project. Simply brilliant

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Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Novocane





I stole this from someone's tumblr. I feel like the image represents a snapshot of my mind sometimes. Not these particular words just the way the words keep interchanging (although I think I share the sentiments hehe). *EDIT* :D

This probably didn't make any sense haha.

How are you guys, this lovely hump day? Hope you all are doing well. I have had an eventful week it seems, I feel like I haven't had time to chill and take a deep breath, my bumming weekend didn't quite work out that way and I am headed out of town again this weekend. Work has been crazy and I can't get myself to concentrate, as always I am not getting enough sleep so I am running on all spare cylinders left in me. This is not a complaint because I really can't complain, life is good, just a few things I need to sort out :)

Have a lovely evening.

Oh for those of you who don't know my blog title and the words on the gif image are from Frank Ocean's song - Novocane



*gif credit samanthafitzgeraldmusicblogtumblr

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Friday Randoms

Hi guys, can you believe it's friday already? Well it is. I am just going to breeze by last week's randoms. It was what it was, but I am glad you guys enjoyed it. Sorry you won't be getting that a lot. I had a pretty decent week. Continued my girl's birthday celebration on saturday and let's just say it was a fun night. Good peoples, Good drink and Good music. Sunday, I carried myself to the BSB concert (if you know me well or are an avid reader, you will know I love them so). It really was the NKOTBSB concert but I purposely block out NKOTB, they were more of a nuisance to me. Jordin Sparks opened for them and looked fabulous, weight loss na good thing. I went to the concert by myself because I didn't expect anyone to want to go as evidenced by reactions and comments I got when I mentioned it. Apparently, I'm supposed to be ashamed of myself for still liking them at my age. Last I checked it was a free country and we all have our preferences. I had a great time and I am glad I went. I am so looking forward to this weekend. Straight hard knock bumming, no travel. Travel will resume next month. Enough talk, more randoming.

So in M.I's song "Slow Down" he has a line that says "She reminds me of nights in Paris" and I wondered if MI had actually ever been to paris and knows what the nights were like.

Why do naija pastors who prophesy and allegedy see visions always see gloom and doom type news and someone always out to get you?

Why would people be scared of having kids in terms of being in charge of another human being? You get to control them! lol I keed. I have never had fears of being a mom. I think I'd be a great mom and I look forward to being one. I already love caring for people, how much more a human I pushed out. That being said, umm I am not looking for kids right now o!

It was bound to happen but I forgot to mention how this black girl at the club last week had this big ole fascinator sitting atop her head. I mean..at the club though?

Last week, someone made a comment to me "You're not fat, you're overweight. There's a difference". I was very pleased with myself that it absolutely had no effect on me. yay to progress.

So, I've never quite understood that term "Taking it slow" and if it made any difference. Ok, I know most people take that to mean not sleeping with a man so soon. But then what defines too soon? Does the time you sleep with him determine anything? If he is going to leave, he'd leave, no? Would a man leave because of the length of time it took to get you in bed or because of other factors?

Another phrase "You are what you attract". How many of you think this is true or bollocks?

It was National HIV day a few days ago. I am under the impression that a lot of young Nigerians don't get HIV tests, so I asked a bunch of my friends. It was a half n half, but I was surprised that a lot of the sexually active ones had never had one before ever. Meh, it's everyone's prerogative, just stay safe everyone.

You know how you hear a bunch of guys say that girls are listening to Beyonce and lapping up her single ladies mantra/anthems while she got her own man at home chilling? For those of you that read Black Girls Are Easy blog that's how I see it. Dude be spewing things but he knows wassup and has his wifey chilling at home.

Speaking of Beyonce, I have heard this a lot and read this that she is one of the hottest celebs that you don't want to sleep with. I'm inclined to agree.

I didn't expect it to have that much of an effect on me but it did. I truly wish him the best and as long as he is happy, that's all that matters.

I watched a movie - Diary of a Nymphomaniac. As the name implies, the woman didn't joke with her sex, but she was lonely. She wanted love. She found love but the sex was wack,lasted like 2 mins. She eventually left to work in a brothel lol. Anyways, question is, you find someone you truly love and click with but sex is wack. Would you stay or would you go?

Oh also,according to the movie the 4 things all humans want are: recognition, pleasure, self esteem and love and affection.

You will be amazed the little things guys notice and pick up on.

Someone asked me the #1 thing I look for in a guy and without blinking I replied with Acceptance. Someone who accepts me for me and doesn't try to change me. I understand that they are celebs, it might be silly to use them as examples and they'll prolly break up soon but for example IceT and Coco, but it explains what I am saying. Coco might be one of the ditziest people ever and she says things that make you go huh? but IceT never flinches and just thinks she is wonderful lol. In the future, I wish for myself someone that thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread in spite of my flaws instead of making me very aware of my flaws.

Alright cuties, that's it for today. Happy New Month! Wishing you nothing but good things and blessings from the Good Lord above. Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend and everyone be safe and enjoy life!

In the spirit of the holiday weekend/new month and just being alive to experience it, enjoy today's song.

One Republic - Good Life
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Friday, June 24, 2011

Friday Randoms

Hellooooo boys and girls! Happy Friday to ya. "Tis Random Friday again. Yay! What is the cause of my good mood you ask? It is alcohol!. I should be ashamed of myself. I have to be up in 4 hours for work and I am here just a tad bit tipsy/buzzed but not drunk ( I insist!_). It was my girl's birthday yesterday and hse wanted to party(omg i just deleted 5 tomes to get party right)today. I haven't gone out on a week day in a LOOONG time but I figured what the hell. It was mucho fun, dj was on point. You will be glad to know that yours truly can still make it to the floor - and get up, can still wind and can still make a grown man say "oh shit" on the dancefloor. The compliments weren't bad either (not like I get these on the regular). I am such a light weight sha. I had a tequila shot, a goldschlager shot and was Team Jameson for the night. Anyhue, I know I could have waited to do this but I figured i'd let you guys see this side of me and also say a big ha! t o all those who think I can't be open. Yes I can!- with alcohol. ok maybe not but I have a feeling I will be doing some deleting come tomorrow. All of una wey wan judge me, wa wa okay.Who wants to random with Tipsy Taynement?? Meee! Lesssgo!

The Weeknd+Weed+Sex+1particularperson

Can I just say unrequited like sucks? I can? Thanks. It does.

What has twitter turned into? Is houdl say nigerian twitter. A place full of cliques with the mean girls and boys picking on people all in the name of keeping it real. I still maintain yu can be "real" and honest without being mean/rude. Twitter characters are people. Don't catch your fun at someone else's expense.

Six months later and people are still asking about Chuck Bass. Amusing. Let me answer a few of the questions. To the anonymous commenter who asked "where the heck Chuck Bass is". He is in Nigeria. Last I checked Chuck Bass is fine. No, we are not dating but we communicate and still keep in contact because we are friends (although he might be mad at me at the moment).Yep, I think that;s about it right? Right.

A lot more people read this blog than I think sha. Meh!

I really should get back on my sister blog. I started my blog because I thought I'd be the next Diablo Cody and get discovered. *yimu*

*sidebar - I would KILL for some chips and dip right about now. Shet!

Sophia Bush dated her costar on One Tree Hill, Chad Michael Murray. They got married and divorced within months. You'd think she'd be wary of doing that again but she dated another costar and has been dating him for 5 years.

So like people with disabilities such as Down's Syndrome and issues similar to that aren't like fully there, so I reckon it'll be hard to be aware of the nuances of being a Christian. So if they die, how do they hget judged by God?

Most of us heard might have heard about teh 51yr old who married the 16yr old and we say it's creepy. What is accepted age? How old is okay say a man in my age group (28-30yrs old)wants to date an 18-21 yr old, is that creepy too? What age differences do you consider creepy?

They say flirting is unacceptable when you are in a relationship? I don't know if I necessarily agree. Comma dey. What do you think?

A friend of mine and I were talking about getting flack for letting his girl pay for dinner at a restaurant. While I see nothing wrong with getting the check for you and your man every now and then or going dutch on a date, I do wonder why some naija guys who come to yankee be acting all brand new when they meet nigerian girls who think its taboo to pay or go dutch. It's our culture, the guys usually pay. It's all well and good if you pick up the yankee culture but don't be acting shocked. Right now if I go to Naija,I know that a dude won't let me go dutch or pay for the meal.Its just what we do.

sidebar I am really sleepy.why am i doing ths again?

It's funny how the muslims I know can break every rule, heck one of them I know owns a strip club but the one rule they won't breal is eating pork. Wonder why they stick that rule.

Just a quick thank you to friends of mine who asked how I was doing on Father's day. I was fine really. A slight pinch there but it was nothing but Thanks for thinking about me!

Surely this can't be life when all we look forward to when we go to work is 5pm or Friday.

Can you date an atheist? For me, It's a deal breaker but I have to say I was surprised when I asked some (nigerian) girlfriends of mine and they said they would.

My friend once did a poll among his female friends askiig if they had to pick one for the rest of their life - head or actual intercourse- which would they pick? Majority of them picked head. I;m in the minority.

My friend came up with a category of guys in convo - Nerds (when they were younger) who think they are special now. I know what she means.

How can 2 siblings be raised in teh same household and turn out soooo different.

Marsha Ambrosius is hot!

I've always said Yorubas about more picky about food than Igbos. I guess its the peopel I know. They are more inclined to not eat this n that or eat other people'sfood.

Ok I am done. At this poiunt I need to sleep. Don't be surprised if this post is ocmpletely different next time you read it. I can't even think of a song. This girl right chea is going to bed. I want to sleep in arms. big strong arms. that's not gonna happen.I lovbe you alllllll! maybe the alcohol loves you all? I dunno. Thamks for reading though. Bye!

*Hic*

Sunday, June 19, 2011

The Hardest Thing....and a little bit of everything

Hello my little bloglettes, how are you all doing? Hope everyone is doing well and hanging in there in this journey called life. I had a good weekend myself. Finally and for the first time ever, I got to visit California, specifically Los Angeles. I happened to find a cheap ticket earlier in the year, chose a random date and bought it. It was a chilled trip compared to my other trips, no clubbing or wilding out. I went sight seeing by myself, saw the Walk of Fame, the Chinese Theater, Saddle Ranch (they film a reality show about it on Vh1). Drove around The Grove, Laurel Canyon, Sunset Blvd et al. While walking around, I ran into a Top Chef tour thingie and got to see Jaimie and Antonia. My coworker was nice enough to enter me to see a Jay Leno taping and I got selected, so many frustrated GPS and Cali traffic moments later I made it into the (freezing) studio. Jay Leno looks just like he does on TV. Josh Duhamel is just as gorgeous in person and so is Jill Scott. Anthony Hamilton is just as...homeless looking and short. Man, they make you do a lot of clapping, I felt like either the applause screen was flashing or the hype man was signaling the audience to clap every second.

Met up with ShadeNonconform, who suggested an Ethiopian restaurant that was pretty good. Tried a brunch place that served the most AMAZING red velvet pancakes, had those with 2 glasses of Cranberry Buzzes (Cranberry juice + Champagne)and I was a bit buzzed. Went to the Santa Monica Pier/Beach. I love the beach, played a bit in the water, took a long walk. It was nice. Hit up a dessert shop that stays open late. Funny, how I always wanted to live there, but I don't think I want to anymore. Bits of the place reminded me of being on the Island in Lagos.

Anyways, to make sense of the title of my blog, this trip came at a good time cuz I hadn't been in a good head space for about a week or so before I left. I had some time to think over my "vacay" and sort some things out. While I am a work in progress, like everyone else, one of the things I realized is that one of the hardest things for me is being vulnerable. I have had a variation of this convo with two of my friends - where I thought I was carefree and let it all hang out but as one of them pointed out, anytime I let it out, it took a lot of prodding on their part. Hmm, the dictionary defines vulnerable as capable of being physically or emotionally wounded. So logically, maybe it's a fear of being emotionally wounded? I have no clue because I can't tell you why it is so. The closest I can come up with is I think I just got so used to reigning my emotions in and keeping it lock tight, combined with having difficulty expressing it.

Blah who knows, I know some may think that some things I say on here show that I can be vulnerable and that's true but trust me I still keep it rather surface on here lol. My final question is, Do you think being vulnerable is a behavioral trait or something inspired by the company around you?i.e your friends/partner etc.

Hope everyone has a great week ahead. Monday just likes to sneak up on us sha. I am lying in my room practically naked because it looks like the vents in my room aren't working and it's so hot. I'm gonna attempt to sleep, I say attempt because sleep is hit or miss with me and try to start my week of right with positive vibes. Yeehaw! lol

Enjoy the song I stole my title from Frank Ocean - The Hardest Thing

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Thursday, June 9, 2011

Make your faith a target

I got this from my brother, we've been talking about some issues the last couple of days and I needed to hear this. Thought I'd share this incase anyone else needed this too.

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see”(Hebrews 11:1, NLT)


So many people today get down and discouraged because they only focus on their present circumstances. They’re constantly dwelling on their problems, what they don’t have, and what’s wrong with them. They don’t realize it, but they’re allowing the enemy to steal their hope. This negative frame of mind is what keeps people from moving forward in life.

Understand today that faith is confidence and assurance about the things we hope for according to the promises of God. Like an arrow, your faith points to the target of hope. If you don’t have hope, that arrow of faith has nothing to aim for. It won’t accomplish anything. But when you keep your hopes up, when you keep expecting and believing, it’s like making that target larger and larger and easier to hit!

Choose today to live with an attitude of expectancy. Don’t focus on your circumstances; focus on your God! Get your hopes up! Take captive every negative thought. As you focus on God’s goodness and faithfulness, you’ll feel that hope inside of you growing. Give your faith a target and move forward confidently in the direction of your dreams!

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father in heaven, today I surrender every thought to You. I choose to release my cares and concerns so I can focus on Your goodness. Thank You for the gift of faith to see the impossible become possible as I continue to place my hope and confidence in You. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Have a wonderful day, peoples!!

Monday, June 6, 2011

Randoms

Hallo, it hasn't been a while has it? In progressive news, I only got abused by two people for not updating. In my defense, I did say my blog was nearing its end didn't i? I haven't had any blog worthy topics (or stuff I'd wanna put on here :D)but life's been okay, the post grad life is the business. It's nice leaving work and not having to worry about school work or feeling guilty while watching tv. I've tried to have a bit of fun, had fun in houston, fun in atlanta and even ventured out to the movies which I haven't done in a while. Other than that, my life is pretty uneventful and just trying to take each day as it comes and figure out my career. So yea, I think you are all caught up on my life sooooo let's random.

Why do people care where they are buried? I see nigerians who say "lai lai I can't be buried here oh. I must be buried in my homeland". Err when you were alive you didn't live there, now that you are dead and unaware and will be rotting in dirt,you care? yea don't get it.

The Nigerian community is quite small. Everyone knows someone that knows someone. We always have weddings in our community. All I can ask of God is when I get married (nigerian or not)I don't want to be that oblivious bride where everyone knows my new husband's philandering except me and while I am cheesing with happiness, people are whispering behind my back and shaking head. Let me just have a good man. The end.

Speaking of which, it's 2011 and people are still latching on to the fake gist that Will and Jada are in an open marriage. Jada said they are open with each other, so if they find anyone attractive they were open with each other. But I guess that's boring.

They say the last person you sleep with owns your vajayjay. yay?nay?

Life can be unfair sometimes.I have a friend that has had a tough year on all fronts and it's been kinda sad seeing her go from this cheerful person to jaded.I know life throws curve balls but dang I wish she'd catch a break.

Some of my guy friends amuse me. Talking to one the other day and he says he is ready to be in a long term relationship and I just shook my head. I told him that he has to have a mind shift. You can't enter a relationship with a single frame of mind. You are just gonna have to give up some habits, it's two people now.

I swear noone has as much action with no action like I do.

I get irritated very easily but I don't hold on to things. It takes a LOT to get me angry but I got really angry last week when some jackass in a club in Atlanta grabbed my ass. I was so angry, I started yelling at him, I shoved him and hit him not even hard enough. I don't remember the last time I was that angry but i really really wished I had given him a hot slap.

Many might disagree with me but I have to say that I am of the school of thought that most men would be intimidated by a woman way more successful than they are.

You know, I can see why men would be attracted to younger women besides their youthful looks. They are usually so boisterous, so confident, so sure of their convictions (even when it's head scratch worthy) and they just aren't as jaded.

I'd be perfectly okay if heaven and hell didn't exist and when we died we were just...dead. But I'd admit that life would be a whole different ballgame if that was the case.

I don't like Dwayne Wayde. I see him and I am just annoyed. With his puffy cheeks, I don't even find him attractive. I am not hating because I like the Mavs, I've just always felt that way about him.

If a black man says he has a preference for dating white women, is that offensive or just a preference that he has a right to?

Well, that's all folks. Enjoy today's song, one of my current favorite songs to dance to in front of my mirror. Has a Nelly vibe to it.

A Bay Bay ft Dorrough and Official - She hot
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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Staying Faithful

Unless you have been living under a rock, you have probably heard about the whole Arnold Schwarzeneggar fiasco. The fiasco being that he separated from his wife of 25 years after he confessed to her that he fathered a child 10yrs ago outside their marriage. Allegedly, this child was born 5 days after their youngest child. Everyone has had their opinion on the matter, today someone said Arnold is not the first or last man to cheat (with the help), so everyone should calm down and give him a break. While this is true, this just shows how the attitude people are having now towards cheating but it had me remembering an article a friend had directed me to some time back.

See, I have said it before Marriage is not beans, being with the same person for an average of say 30 years? You're practically going to do everything you can imagine with that person. For example, I have a friend who has been married 8yrs and every occasion, he asks me what to get his wifey because he has exhausted almost all his resources between mother's day/bday/valentine's/just because etc. It's all well and dandy the first few years, as time goes on, temptation arises, yes when you choose to get married it is your job to avoid temptation as much as you can and not cheat on your partner at least that's what I believe. Does shit happen? yes it does. I guess that will be for the couple to decide what direction to take from there.

The article was an interview with the director of a movie called "Monogamy". He touched on a few points that I'd like to share with you guys.

When asked about his basis for the characters in his movie he said:

I was interested in the question of, when do you fuse your identity versus lose your identity when you're in a couple? When does someone enhance who you are as opposed to suppress you? Also, they have this lived-in chemistry that can only come from living together and being together for years, but they're not all over each other. There's chemistry, but it's not carnal anymore, which is what can happen after you've been with someone for a long time. I think a lot of couples become best friends, and that's great. But if you lose the sex part, you're in trouble.

To what extent does sex drive the drama forward?

I think Theo's central crisis is that I don’t think his fear is that ‘I’m never gonna be able to have sex with another girl again [if I get married].’ His fear is that ‘I’m worried that I’m gonna be a bad husband. I’m worried that I’m gonna cheat. I’m worried that I’m gonna be like this guy who [he has been hired to spy on who he thinks] is cheating on his wife in an alley.’ When he’s looking at [the man] in the alley, he’s not turned on, necessarily, he’s almost outraged morally. He’s like, ‘I might end up in an alley with a prostitute if I marry [Nat], because she doesn’t wanna have sex with me. Can I do this? I’m worried about becoming someone I don’t wanna be.'

The one thing--really, the only thing--that Theo can say when they're breaking up at the end of the film is, 'I love you.' It seems like everything else has broken down, communication-wise. Is that one thing you saw from your interviews, that love is not enough?

Yeah, it's those three words in movies or novels, and you grow up saying 'when's the first time I'm gonna say 'I love you' to someone?' It is this huge phrase that means everything. And then you realize there are many different kinds of love. And it evolves over the course of a relationship. But I don't think it's enough. You can love someone but find him or her incompatible to live with. You can love someone but not be attracted to him or her physically.

You've interviewed dozens of divorcees about their experiences, so you're something of an expert. Do you think adultery is the biggest challenge couples face today?

I think there's more possibility out there. Of the twenty percent of all marriages that end in adultery, the adultery started on Facebook. It's a lot easier to have an affair now, but it's also a lot easier to get caught. Like with Don Draper, you watch it and he's having tons of affairs, and it's just like, he's calling on a rotary phone. There's no answering machine. There's no paper trail, there's no text that someone can look at when you're sleeping. You look at Tiger Woods or Eliot Spitzer, or a guy who sent a picture of his dick or whatever, there are bread crumbs everywhere. It's very easy to trace back. At the same time, it's made it very easy to maintain this kind of extra-marital relationship.

What are some of the more memorable nuggets that emerged from your research that intact couples can learn from?

Learn how to fight fairly and productively. Be yourself in the courtship phase; don't present too idealized version of yourself, because unless you're prepared to uphold that lie for the rest of your life, [your partner is] gonna find out.


There's nothing more to say but he gave some food for thought in some of his answers. I'll definitely be watching the movie whenever it comes out. What say ye peoples, what do you think?


*Interview excerpts from HuffingtonPost website.