...while you are busy making plans.
A few weeks ago, my concerns included sulking about a boy/figuring out how to make the Adele concert/what to wear to a wedding etc etc. In the last week, my priorities have become trying to keep up with my doctor appointments and figuring out which hospital or specialist I am seeing on that particular day.
A month ago, I started having abdominal pains but I am the kind to brush things off and ride the pain out. It didn't go away and my brother urged me to see a doctor. I went to see the doctor and she shoo'd me away with antibiotics. I dutifully took it and the pain didn't go away and it was becoming worse, so I went back to see another doctor last week Monday. I was actually going to cancel the appointment but went ahead anyways. Well, one abdominal pain complaint led to a week of tests upon tests and surgery next week.
It's all been so surreal because you watch these things on TV and in the movies but never think it'd be you. I am sitting in the doctor's office and watching her mouth move as she is listing things and all I can wonder is if she is really talking to me.(Why are doctors always so cheerful regardless of what news they are breaking to you?). A friend who is a doctor, came along with me on Friday to the doctor and she said, this was the first time she saw how it was to be on the other side and it was just a lot of info.
I am pretty tough when it comes to a lot of things but I am not gonna front and say I am not scared. I am. I go through waves when I am okay and I tell myself everything will be okay but then at random times, I just start crying. I am scared about a lot of things. Surgery itself, my job (i have to be out for 6 weeks), medical costs ( I have insurance and I have spent $500 alone in the last week. I don't know how people without insurance do it) and just stuff. But as always, I am touched by the thoughtfulness of my friends and their offer to help. All I really wanted was my mom and I am so relieved that she is dropping everything and coming next week.
Anyhue, I am keeping the faith and holding it together but I am not ashamed to ask you all for your prayers, because you can never get enough of those. So whether you are the praying kind or not, be kind enough to drop one line for me. I still am not 100% in the clear and this week brings about a bunch of new tests and pre op stuff with one of the surgeons but I am thinking positive. Speaking to friends in the medical field, )I hope I am not being humored) but it doesn't sound so terrible, I guess just to me the lay man it's just a bit scary. If nothing else guys, always listen to your body and if something isn't right, just go check it out.
I can't believe I hated this song when I first heard it.