Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Merry Christmas

Hi my luvs. It's been a minute hasn't it? Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you. Hope everyone had a lovely christmas. I had a good one actually spending it with lots of friends and family and plenty food. Except I didn't eat much food, all the naija food it seemed caught up with me and my stomach was in gas shambles. I've been chugging pepto bismol. This is how I am reminded I am getting older cuz Lord knows I often brag about how strong a stomach I have, except as I get older it seems to get weaker.

Naija has been okay, big difference this year is I haven't gone out as much as I usually do and it's been more of hanging out (again my age dey show hehe). The traffic this year seems to be hella terrible and way worse than previous years, wonder what's different this time. Anyways, just thought to say hi to you guys and to wish you the very best of the holiday season.

Sunday, December 9, 2012


Y'all already know how much I love Pink. I've listened to her song 'Try' so many times this week. Guess you can say it's my song of the week.

Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame, someone's bound to get burned
But just because it burns doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try, try, try, try

Have a wonderful week ahead guys!

Monday, December 3, 2012

The Shack

My friend recommended a book called The Shack by William P Young to me. It's a book that talks about faith and our relationship with God. I have only heard extremes about this book, either people hated it or loved it. Once I had it on the elevator and these two women commented on it. The first lady said "oh i loved this book" and the other lady said " she couldn't stand it". Another friend of mine said she just couldn't get pas the few pages. I didn't hate or love it but it had some quotables I liked that I'll share. The premise of the book is about a man who was born to an alcoholic dad who beat up his mom. He ran away from home met a good woman who had strong faith in God. They had 4 kids and were relatively okay till something big happened to their family.

These quotes are from where the man receives a letter to come hang with "Papa" - who is God. God happens to be a big black woman, the Holy Spirit- Sarayu who is Asian and Jesus- who is a Hispanic man that's well Jesus. They spend time with the man to help him deal with his hurt, questions, faith etc. Below are some quotes I found interesting.

"Relationships[any kind] are never about power and one way to avoid the will to power is to choose to limit oneself  - to serve. Humans often do this - in touching the infirm an sick, in serving the ones whose minds have left to wander, in relating to the poor, in loving the very old and the very young or in even caring for the other who has assumed a position of power over them"

After the man makes a comment about being confused how the Holy Spirit fits in and what the chain of command is between God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit:

"We have no concept of final authority among us, only unity. We are in a circle of relationship, not a chain of command or 'great chain of being' as your ancestors termed it. What you're seeing here is relationship without an overlay of power. We don't need power over the other because we are always looking out for the best. Hierarchy would make no sense among us. Actually, this is your problem, not ours"

Jesus tells the man to do something but it was difficult for him. Jesus says, tell me what you are afraid of. He lists a bunch of things and Jesus says:

"You imagine. Such a powerful ability, the imagination. Without wisdom, imagination is a cruel task master"

The man says: I spend a big piece in the past, but most for the rest of the time, I am trying to figure out the future. Jesus says:

"When I dwell with you, I do so in the present. I live in the present. Not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay. Do you realize that your imagination of the future, which is almost always dictated by fear of some kind, rarely, if ever pictures me there with you?" ( I don't know about you guys but the bolded part is so me)

The man asks: Why do i have so much fear in my life? God says:

"Because you don't believe. You don't know that we love you. The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love. To the degrees that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in your heart that I love you. You sing about it, you talk about it, but you don't know it"

Jesus said "To force my will on you is exactly what love does not do. Genuine relationships are marked by submission even when your choices are not helpful or healthy"

The man asked "You're not too fond of religion and institutions?"

Jesus said : "I don't create institutions - never have, never will". The man says "What about the institution of marriage?" Jesus says " Marriage is not an institution. It's a relationship. Like I said, I don't create institutions, that's an occupation for those who want to play God. So no, I'm not too big on religion and not very fond of politics or economics either and why should I be? They are the man-created trinity of terrors that ravages the earth and deceives those I care about"

This is the last quote and my favorite:

"Remember those who know me are the ones who free to live and love without any agenda". Man says, "Is that what it means to be Christian?" and God says "Who said anything about being a Christian, I'm not a Christian" - Absolutely loved this.

Anyways, I won't bore you with any more. Did you have any opinions on any of the quotes? or have you read the book? If you have let me know what you think. Have a wonderful week!

Friday, November 30, 2012

Friday Randoms

Hi guys, how are you? Hope you all had a wonderful thanksgiving and a great week ahead. Funny enough, I couldn't eat on thankgsiving day. I was starving but by the time I made it to my friend's house, I was surrounded by food but I just couldn't eat (first world problem, eh?). I am currently addicted to this british "reality" show Made in Chelsea. It premiered on Style Network and it was so bad and so obviously scripted but I couldn't help myself. Then I found out it was 4 seasons in and now I am glued to my computer trying to catch up. Loser, I know. Guys, December is here already, I can't believe the year just flew by, then again somehow I can. I should apologize for my randoms today, they aren't really randoms more like quotes but I figured better this than nothing. Ok here are my make shift randoms:

"There are good men out there...but women don't like to keep it simple and they are getting worse" me: but "bad" women get chosen. "Thats the amazing thing .which proves there are more 'stupid" men out there than good ones. not bad men, stupid ones. - my brother.

So I randomly remembered that at my old job, I had a coworker who I became good friends with. He was gay so he would tell me who was packing or not based on his observations in the men's room. lol.

I know I have my issues so to add to the list, one of the many things that irk me is when people call their baby cousins their nephew or niece. I'm like your sibling didn't have a child, it's your baby cousin. You see I don't have problems in life abi?

"he looked at me like i was crazy. most of my lovers do and that's partly why they love me and partly why they leave" - jeanette winterson

My friend and I were talking about a guy and he made a passing comment that I probably wouldn't go for the guy because he wasn't mean and cocky. I thought that was terrible but I am changing my ways. I think I have learned my lesson.

You know what blows my mind. The huge communication gap between men and women. My friend (a guy) says we just speak different languages. I just don't comprehend how we say A and a guy hears B then proceeds to tell you how YOU feel about the situation and how and why you are wrong. My same friend says we never just go straight to the point and we go round in circles without ever saying anything. This might be true but omo, even when you are direct there is still that disconnect.

"Catholic guilt on the streets, sexual deviant in the sheets" - I cracked up so hard when I read this.

You know that saying, "What's done in the dark always comes to light", how many of you actually believe that? How many of you also believe Karma exists? I am leaning towards believing it doesn't exist but I don't know. Also, I am beginning to wonder about the whole Heaven and hell theory. Is there an after life or is our Heaven and hell here on earth. Please feel free to share your theories on these. I'd love to read.

"Human beings are never satisfied but the art of being content is a lesson we should all learn"

That's all I got for you folks. Oh, thank you for your responses to my prayer question. I took something from everyone's answers, so thanks again. Hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Stay blessed and stay safe.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

A few things you need to know.... get over an ex *as stolen from Huffington post.

1. Stop all communication cold turkey. No texting, no facebook stalking, emails or phone calls...literally no unnecessary contact. It's called a breakup because it's broken, and your first and most important act is to create a healthy distance. If you have children, communicate briefly and only in writing if possible, and say only what needs to be said.

2. Accept that it's over. If the person you were with doesn't want to be with you, then clearly you shouldn't want to be with them. You deserve the best, and the best isn't included in someone who doesn't want to be by your side.

3. Turn your face and focus to the light and future. Begin to imagine how you want your future to evolve, reate a new vision for your future and then take the first steps to making them your reality.

4. Take accountability. No matter how big a jerk your ex was, you inevitably did things that contributed to the end of the relationship as well. Focusing on your ex's flaws will only leave you mired in the past and destined to make same mistakes in next relationships.

5. Give yourself time to grieve. But remember, your goal is to pull yourself together and move forward.

6. Don;'t obsess over the causes. The relationship is over, the time to fix has passed.

7. Breakups change your life, it doesn't end it.

8. Stop idealizing. It is easy to start romanticizing your ex as time passes after a breakup. When you are in pain and don't encounter others that meet and exceed your expectations, your ex starts to look really good. DOn't be fooled, there are reasons it did not work out.

9. Love yourself.

10. The grief process is over when it's over, not when you want it to be or when it's convenient. Grief has a life of its own and the more you fight your true feelings, the more they hang around.

What do you guys think? You have any additions or subtractions? Have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Why do you pray?

Sorry guys, no actual blog post but if you could ever so kindly in your own words, answer the question, as long or as short as you'd like to - Why do you pray?

To my fellow American residents, I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Just because I am a thief...

... I completely just stole the content of this post from two blogs. They both had lines that I really liked.

From Onakachi's blog:

"Stop trying to continually convince someone to like you. Here's the key: Go where you are are celebrated not where you are tolerated. Quit trying to win over a person that just tolerates you; they are not really for you, truth be told, they're kinda jealous of the gift God's given you. No matter what you do, they are never going to be 100% behind you. You may convince them for a little while but as soon as you don't perform perfectly they'll find something that you're doing wrong"

- Pastor Joel Osteen

From LadyNgo's blog:

"It's simple chemistry but the equation is so complex. Timing is everything, the combination is more than sex"

(this was from a song that she posted)

Hope you guys had a good monday. Have a great rest of the week.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Friday Randoms

I really have no intro today but thank you to all of you who checked up on me. I am doing much better now. Thank you again.


Whenever you ask a naija guy what happened with an ex or female that they were involved with and they respond with "oh that one, she's crazy", I almost want to burst out in laughter because it always sounds like some default answer from a script.

You know how some companies are family companies ie passed down from one generation to the other. I notice that the age difference is huge in our generation and I often wonder if there's enough time to train the kiddos and pass it down. For example, I know a family where the dad passed down to the daughter. The dad recently passed away and the daughter is currently running affairs. Thing is she's kinda an older lady and her kids are both under 10. I wonder if there's enough time so to speak to groom the kids.

A friend of mine told me about an article he read where this lady was giving her boyfriend head and let him come on her face and in that moment she suddenly felt like he didn't see her as long term/wifey material. It reminded me of a friend who had told me that he would never do that to his wife/mother of his children. I did a mini poll and most of my guy friends feel the same way and think it is disrespectful. So my question is this, fellas if your woman is down, do you find it disrespectful and if yes does it make a difference if she is your gf or wife? Ladies, do you think it means anything?

I really listened to the lyrics of "Bands a make her dance" this week and my first thought was man, this is awful sha(still love the song tho). I don't identify as a feminist but I wondered if it was possible to be a feminist and like this song or many a rap song that's out there.

To clarify my statement above about not identifying as feminist. Till today, I don't know what the definition of a feminist is or if there is a set definition at all. In all the different variations I have seen, I think I fail. I am not an activist, I feel prettier with weaves (does this even count), I am very comfortable letting a man do hard labor tings for me etc. However, what I do believe in is respect and fairness for both sexes/humanity in general. I believe in growth for all humanity. I don't dwell on whether we are equal or not, I feel each sex has their strength and weakness. I am by no means demeaning those ahead of me and who currently fight for women's rights etc. I guess the long and short of my long tory is, I don't know the definition of one and what it entails so i don't call myself one. I am very open to being educated.

When does the pain go away?

How important is it for you that your significant other get along with your friends? not fam o. Friends.

I feel like there's some kind of trigger once you get married, abi is it have a kid? that makes you want to do that family picture christmas card thingie. Guess, I'll find out when it's my turn, cuz right now the desire to do that is at 0. Althought that could be because I have never really had a traditional christmas family tradition per se?

It's true, once you don't like someone everything they do is annoying. Well some people are just naturally annoying.

I have no immediate plans to move back to Naij but I feel envious when I see someone going to do or finishing NYSC. Shoulda really taken care of that ish when I was in naij for an extensive period of time but I don't think i can describe how much NYSC frightens me.

I finally purchased my first Apple product!

I am truly a believer in action speaking louder than words. I don't think proclaiming something makes it fact eg if I keep proclaiming I am nice and my attitude is straight bitch like what's the point? Why do I even have to announce it, let my actions do the talking.

Please this fun. song "We are young" says it features Janelle Monae. Has anyone found out when exactly she comes on in the song, cuz I sho haven't heard it.

This guy hit his head and lost all his memory from the last 46 years. Didn't know his wife and couldn't remember the birth of his kids. I felt so bad for the wife. Like isn't that worse than if he died? Someone you built a life with, poof! all gone.

Why do people ask non urgent questions with multiple question marks? It irks me.

Every time I hear a celeb donated a huge amount of money to a cause, while it's for a good cause my first thought is usually Tax Writeoff!!!.

Man, I ran my mouth today huh? Oh before I leave y'all my friend and I discuss a myriad of topics everyday and feels like he should get credit on my randoms. While I won't give him credit, I'll give him a shout out, so Waddup Kweku! (happy now?)

This song always make me smile, takes me back to my younger days in Naij when all i wanted to do was watch MTV. Have a wonderful weekend my lovelies and be blessed.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Four More Years!

My TV screen is still flashing projected winner but we all know that Barry made it in yall!! I have to say it was a journey, from being so sure that he will win to doubting and thinking maybe just maybe the Republicans might sneak in. All that aside today and the numbers didn't lie! I wasn't as emotional this time voting for him as I was 4 years ago but this is still pretty historic to me. The Republicans really need to get their shit together if they want to get back in office, they can't keep insulting our intelligence with these make shift candidates. Anyways, back to why we are here. Congratulations to everyone that rallied, voted, volunteered. So much work has to be done (hopefully the House/Senate stop bickering and get to getting things done). Here's to the next 4 years!

My President is back [and black!]


*image from Google Images

Friday, November 2, 2012

Friday Randoms

Hi guys. How are you? Hope you are having a better week than I am. My week didn't start out in the best way and to cap it off, 2 nights ago I was stuck hugging my toilet bowl puking my guts out and last night I had to go to an emergency center to have an iv put in for fluids. I've never had it before but apparently I had food poisoning. I was on the phone with a friend of mine the whole day and she told me to sip on gatorade but I couldn't even keep that down. As the day went along, I became increasingly confused. I was fading in and out of sleep and my dreams were meshing with tv shows (go figure lol), I think at some point I found myself lying on my bathroom floor. I called my friend and she said if I was that confused then I probably was dehydrated and to go find a doctor. My friends took me to a doctor and I got home early hours this morning (This is one of the few times I think living alone sucks). I feel much better, just fighting a raging headache now and can't eat much. That being said, let's thank God for a new month and the grace to see it. Here's hoping for many more months. I shall begin to random.

Having mystique as a woman is an important tool to have. I think guys find that attractive. Mystique does not mean playing hard to get o.

I think one of the cruelest things one has to do in this life is identifying a body knowing it's a loved one.

One of the biggest lessons one can learn in life is learning how to not sweat the small stuff. It's also one of the hardest.

I brought up the topic of emotional cheating some time ago. I wondered if any guys believed such a thing existed. I know most women agreed it existed. I am on the fence about it. How would you define emotional cheating? Isn't cheating just cheating?

My friend and I read a blogpost about women being dishonest to men about being satisfied in bed.We both agreed that the women who do so weren't doing their partners a favor. It got me wondering if it was harder to be honest to someone who you weren't in an exclusive relationship/married to?

That being said, I think our generation has more undefined relationships than official relationships.

Speaking of that, I recently saw Nelly and Ashanti on the red carpet together. I think that may have been one of the first times I saw them together and my first thought was Yay, he's finally claiming her. Then I stopped and thought about why I thought that, because some celebs try to be private eg Beyonce and Jayz but i never once thought hey he is not claiming her. I guess where's the line between privacy and not being claimed publicly.

I've often wondered why Toolz has such heavy backlash against her. The most I have got is that she is fat and tries to appear not to be and wears body magic. emm ok. My thought on this is I think girls find it hard to accept that guys could find someone her size attractive. I have always said what guys and girls find attractive are completely different.

I think it sucks to think that you gave your best and your best was not good enough. Not worse than someone making you feel so small sha.

What's the logic of kicking out your young kid because they got pregnant? Isn't that when they need you the most?

Respect is something I definitely underestimated. The way a person treats you is in direct correlation to the respect they have for you.

I wonder where the word widget came from...reminds me of midget but I am sure they have no relation, *scratches head*

My doctor friend says there are more baby boys being delivered lately and even among my friends they've all been majority boys. That's wonderful. The cycle continues. They have more options and the bullshit continues.

Does the world still produce identical twins?

Would you have a problem with your boyfriend financing your engagement ring?

My friend thinks it's a better situation for someone to leave you for someone else than leave you with noone in the picture. I beg to differ.

I am perfectly okay with the amount of money athletes make. It is not beans the kind of hits and conditioning they have to put their body through.

According to stats, only one in 12 friendships endure. Don't know how true that is.

I look forward to dressing my kids up for halloween.

If you have an open mind, check out Chris Wallace's album - Push Rewind. It's pop

I think I may have run my mouth today. Hope you guys have a great weekend. I will be posted up getting all the rest I can. Have a wonderful day.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Fade into you

Y'all know how I love my music. I'm totally in love with the music on "Nashville". A new show on ABC about country music singers. Clare Bowen and Sam Palladio give the best duets. I had to rewind their duet on the first episode (originally done by The Civil Wars - who I adore). Just popped in here to share another of their duet I just heard. I didn't find who originally sang it, so I assume it's an original song of the show, I'll keep digging though. The show music director is T-Bone Burnett, one of the most amazing producers out there. Well, his wife is a producer on the show so I guess it wasn't so hard to nab him.

Fade into you

If you were the ocean and I was the sun
If the day made me heavy and gravity won
If I was the red and you were the blue
I could just fade into you
If you were a window and I was the rain
I’d pour myself out and wash off the pain
I’d fall like a tear so your light could shine through
Then I’d just fade into you

In your heart in your head in your
arms in your bed under your skin
Til there’s no way to know where
you end and where I begin
If I was a shadow and you were a
The cobblestone midnight is where
we first meet
Til the lights flickered out, we
dance with the moon
Then I’d just fade into you

In your heart in your head in your
arms in your bed under your skin
Til there’s no way to know where
you end and where I begin
I wanna melt in I wanna soak through
I only wanna move when you move
I wanna breathe out when you
breathe in then I wanna fade into you
If I was just ashes and you were
the ground
And under your willow they laid me
There’ll be no trace that one was
once two
After I fade into you

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Searched Keywords

Sometimes keywords can be funny. These were the most searched keywords for my blog for the month:

a bukateria in lagos
lady gaga haemophrodite
lost in my 20s
mi2 unstoppable lyric
naija slangs
20 things you should have learned by 25
cliches about getting old
eat pray love quotes you need rainmaker

[Umm, anyone peep #2? *scratches head*]

Of all time:

naija slangs
words of wisdom funny
hilarious words of wisdom
taynement blog
airin rachmi diany
demi moore interview 2012
25 things i learned in my 20s

Have a wonderful day.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

You deserve to fall in love

Thought Catalog has the best articles. I thought this was a good read:

You deserve love. Not just any kind of love but, like big “I think I’m going to puke if you touch me (in a good way) and regress into a 16-year-old psycho if you don’t text me back” kind of love. You deserve to feel like a sexual being and have someone around who wants to see you naked all the time and doesn’t mind that you have cellulite or that your stomach has terrifying pockets of fat because bodies are flawed and you better deal with it, bitch.

You deserve to be proven wrong, to be brought back to life by someone’s kindness at a time when you thought that no one would ever love you again. The song does not remain the same. Lo and behold, the person you like actually wants to date you and now you know that you’re not the hideous monster you thought you were. Your faith has been restored. You’re lovable. You have the relationship to prove it.

You deserve to have high highs again, even if that means experiencing the occasional low. You forget the euphoria you often feel when you fall in love. You know on a certain level that it feels amazing but you forget the specifics. Like, how your life immediately becomes a stupid Taylor Swift song and your heart does somersaults over something as simple as a sweet text message or phone call. Every ounce of maturity and pride you’ve carefully cultivated over the years disappears and suddenly you’re just another person who’s fallen in love and is acting like a smitten teenager. It’s totally embarrassing but you’re too happy to care.

You deserve to do annoying couple-y things like making each other mixes, walking down the street hand-in-hand, making out in bars, and posting stupid pictures of the two of you on Facebook. Yes, everyone will hate you but, screw it, you’re in love! You’re owed this experience. You’ve never been that annoying person in a relationship, or at least you haven’t in awhile, so why not just go for it and let everyone know you’re in love? Your internet presence will suffer but who needs validation from the internet when you have a real life person giving you a scalp massage before bed every night?

You deserve compassion, understanding, oral sex, long, lingering make out sessions, and spooning. You deserve to feel safe and spoken for. Most importantly, you deserve passion. Big, messy, disgusting, and beautiful passion. Having that means you’re living and loving with a capital L. You’ve unlocked the secret. You get it now.

You only live once so why don’t you love a lot? Time is too precious to sit around and deny yourself this kind of romantic fulfillment. When you think of all the time you’ve wasted closing yourself off from human connection, doesn’t it make your heart sick? We were built to love. Go do your job, dammit!

You like? I wish you all this in your lifetime. Happy Hump day and have a wonderful day!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Preference or Madness?

My best friend sent me this:

Yes, I personally have played around at home and abroad. And yes, my wife WILL have to be a virgin. How else will I enter into a lifetime contract with the thought in the back of my mind that I'm with a woman who some other guys may have manhandled and dumped? I may be selfish and all, but I have a right to my preference. Honestly, there are some weddings I attend and sincerely feel sorry for the guy, either because I know his bride too intimately, or I know the brides intimate history with other guys who got fed up and in many cases just dumped her. Only for someone else to make her his trophy. Selfish consideration, yes. But I no fit marry anyone from second hand and above. Dats my own thinking o. Period.

This was a comment on Nairaland on Sting's post which was plaigiarized.

At first read, I know a bunch of people that'll be like this guy is crazy or he is so primitive or how silly. I found this amusing because to some extent guys in our generation do have some idealistic, old fashioned ideas like this guy above. I admit this guy is on some deep end stuff but the thing is there are educated, enlightened men who share the same thoughts as he does albeit on varying levels.

I think there are some things we as women consider minute that are a big deal to men. For example, I think a woman could overlook knowing about a previous sexual partner of her man but I have had a male friend tell me that he had an ex who he gelled with in every way but he knew he would never wife her because he was aware of/knew a previous sexual partner of hers. I dunno, on one hand I can see how it might be bothersome but if you are aware your partner isn't a virgin, I think it's part of the package that there's that small chance that you might know someone she's been with. There are some people who believe some sexual acts shouldn't be performed with a wife because it is disrespectful. This one guy was telling me how when he was ready for a wife he went back home to get a wife from his home town and brought her to America. Thinking like that baffles me, like there aren't any good women in the states that you go all the way back to Nigeria with the sole purpose of getting a wife - because you think she will be submissive? Who knows but by the way, this guy's story ended with his wife coming over to the States, becoming a citizen, filing for her mom and her filing for divorce from the dude. It was all I could do to not stick my tongue out at him.

There are a million and one examples, but like the title suggests, I read this and just wondered about the way the minds of these men work. What do you guys think? Can these be classified as preferences or insane thinking?

Have a wonderful week.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Human Brain

In a conversation with a friend of mine, she told me about the three levels of the human brain. I was fascinated by it. She sent me some things and I went to the all knowing google to read some more about it.

So basically, the human brain consists of 3 layers:

  • The Reptilian Complex - This is the most fascinating of the 3 layers to me. The reptilian brain is also called the Lizard brain and likened to reptiles. It is the first and earliest brain to form. If a child does not receive a lot of love and security growing up, this will be the brain they will use most often and always  default to it. This part of the brain is the one that deals with basic survival, instinctive and reproductive functions. These are also known as the 4 F's. The 4 F's are - Feeding and Fucking, Fight or Flight. People who operate mostly on this brain are very defensive. When operating in that brain level, the frontal lobes which is the thinking brain that process and analyze shut down. These people can be very nice and still have no empathy. eg you could be crying and upset but they remain defensive and cannot process any emotion that isn't theirs. They either defend or attack. In summary, the overriding qualities of these kind of people are they are automatic, obsessive, compulsive, have ritualistic qualities and are highly resistant to change. This layer is very active and remains so even in deep sleep.

  • The Limbistic System - This is the second layer of the brain to develop and is a more complex brain. This part of the brain deals with a higher F, which stands for Feelings. This layer associates a lot of events with memory. It is the part of the brain responsible for converting information into memory. Repeated use of it enhances memory storage and memory recall as needed. This layer links emotion with behavior and comes into play in situations that arouse feelings such as fear, pity, anger or outrage. People that use this brain more often generate more nuanced, variable and flexible behavior which leads to them learning. They classify everything as agreeable or disagreeable and pursue a policy of avoiding pain and pursuing pleasure.

  • The Neo Cortex - This is the most recently developed brain also known as the human layer and is sometimes called the level of philosophers, scientists and mathematicians It's where the thinking and computer part of our brain resides. This is what makes language, speech and writing possible. This part of the brain is usually hijacked bu the Limbistic system and therefore reason is put to the service of emotions rather than vice versa. Interestingly, in times of great stress or sexual excitement the reptilian brain takes over and we operate at the most basic instinctive level.
That's the basic summary of the three layers of brain. It all sounds so contradictory which kinda explains why we humans can be self contradictory.  The Reptilian and Limbistic are the older brains and can't speak, they can only feel and act. I found two examples that I thought were interesting.

Example 1

Have you ever wondered why you reach for that pile of hot greasy fries while you tell yourself you are on a diet? It's because you have three brains and the older brains were wired to put on weight long ago when food was scarce while your old brains are not easily controlled by your fancy new brain that reads diet books. (This makes sense because I often say that our generation will try to justify and over intellectualize the simplest of concepts. Someone can tell you, I hate you and we will still be there trying to find ways the person loves you)

Example 2

A man cheats. He is married and loves his wife but feels lust for another woman. He cheats on his wife with another woman. In the aftermath of his rendezvous, he can simultaneously enjoy satisfied lust, feel sad because of his disloyalty and come up with a justification for his conduct. Interesting, no? and hey people, this is not an excuse to go cheating.

Anyways, I'll stop now. This might have been the longest post ever to get together, so hope it makes sense to you guys. What do you guys think?

*I got a lot of info from so many sites that I cannot list them all so I'll put a disclaimer here that if anyone finds their work on here then thank you and I give you full credit. I did however put it all together to make some type of sense.

Have a great day people.

Friday, October 5, 2012

Friday Randoms

Happy Friday guys. Take a moment and thank God for letting you see another morning, another day and another week. It's Friday, yay! I can't remember the last time I have been in a bad mood on a friday. Guys, I truly believe the world is going, rather is mad. There's so much strange news everywhere, it's just quite bizarre. Anyone catch the debate yesterday? I was quite surprised at my level of irritation by it, it was truly so meh. Looks like RiRi got her man back. Goodluck to them. I sit and await the eruption. I am prolly late but if you are like me and haven't seen it, here's a video of Karrueche making fun of Rihanna a while ago -  Too poor. Speaking of poor, this whole Nicki/Mariah thing on American Idol better be staged because it's terrible. Granted, I am not a fan of Mariah but this is a woman and mother in her 40's, please behave. Their tweets to each other are quite frankly ridiculous. Nonsense. Okay, let's random.

I learned something about myself 2 weeks ago. I should be ashamed.

Sometimes, you think to yourself that you shouldn't expect much because you may be disappointed or you don't want to be a burden or whatever else reason. The flip side of that is if you don't expect much then of course much won't be given to you. Raise the bar a little.

Not to be repetitive, but it is quite important to be yourself. A friend of mine, who I think has some ridiculously over high standards met a girl recently that he is giddy about. When he mentioned that she couldn't cook, I nearly fell out my chair. I am like and that's okay with you? And he's like it's not a biggie. Just do you and someone will like you for you...hopefully.

So how many of y'all will date a guy that tells you that he has been in love with a man before a la Frank Ocean style? If yes, would it make a difference if they slept together or not?

I really hope the economy gets better. It's a bit scary the number of people I know who are looking for work.

I am watching RHONY, some lady is organizing a charity runway show. She is trying to pep up someone going on the runway and she says "There's a black woman inside of you, I wanna see her". I paused and scratched my head, Wtf does that mean? The lady she told was like "White women can be strong too". Just all around awkward.

Ok guys, I know I am not a fan of fantasy movies/tv shows eg LOTR but I saw a preview of The Hobbit once and I swear I don't remember what I saw but what I took away from it and is in my head is that there are a bunch of gay, dwarf men roaming the earth looking for a cock ring -_-

Talking to a friend of mine (who is married) and she said marriage is like a cult where they promise you riches and it is not till you get in that they tell you that you have to sacrifice your mom and first son and you can't leave. Before anyone gets up in arms, it was just her humorous way of saying that you never really know what you signed up for till you are in it.

So I watched an episode of the Honey Boo Boo show to see what all the uproar was about and maybe because I saw one episode, I didn't get it but I didn't see anything wrong with it. I won't be watching cuz it is not my thing but what I took from it was this girl is a happy 7 year old who is happy and loved by her family. Yes they are redneck and eat unhealthy and do strange activities but it's what they know. It's how they grew up. Are we penalizing them because they aren't "enlightened" or "exposed" as we are? Americans no get wahala.

Which brought me to my thought earlier in the week that a lot of people in our generation think that they are open minded but we really aren't. We tend to not take kindly or be dismissive of people who think or are different from them.

If you are dating a married man, do you still earn the right to call him your boyfriend?

Myne, thank you for sharing your story with us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband and I am sending nothing but positive vibes your way.

Sabira what is your blog url o!

I leave you with a few quotes:

"All the hardest, coldest people you meet were once as soft as water and that's the tragedy of living" - Iain Thomas.

"We accept the love we think we deserve"

"It took me twenty something years to love myself. I do not have that kinda time to convince someone else" - Daniel Franzese (this made me laugh)

You guys have a wonderful weekend. Stay safe!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Friday Randoms

Hi guys, how are ya? How have you been? I've been pretty good and taking advantage of this thing called life. I went to one of the funnest weddings I've ever been to last week and it was fun seeing friends I hadn't seen in a while, we partied for like 3 days straight and generally had a good time. Today was such an annoying day for me, I had to go somewhere work related and as I was chilling in traffic some big ol' van hit me from behind. Great! I pull over, damage not bad but it's a company car, have to go through procedure, I am getting the insurance info and of course I see the insurance is expired. I call my office, they say I have to get a police report. I call the police (did you know that if you call 911, you can be put on hold?). 3 calls and 3 hours later they show up and say since it's minimal damage they can't file a report. The cop speaks spanish and is rapping merrily with the guy who hit me. While he does that his partner, instead of helping, proceeds to now start asking me if I live in Dallas, how long I have lived there, how old am i? mschewww. A bunch of other nonsense happened but whatever. re: my last post I am not allowed to complain. So counting blessings and moving on. Let's random.

How crazy is the whole Johnny Lewis death story? For those of you who don't know, Johnny Lewis is an actor, best known as Half Sack on Sons of Anarchy. He died today from either a fall or a jump from the roof of a house where an old woman was found dead, and he allegedly killed her. There was also a dead cat. The whole thing is just strange.

Please does anyone get what this Mike and Ike (candy) ad is about? I get so irritated when I see it because it doesn't make any sense to me.

What age do you consider reasonable for your kid to start having sex (assuming they are gonna do it anyway). Would it vary depending on their sex? if yes, why?

I'm not sure how I would feel dating a guy with one kid talkless of four. I keep wondering how Keke Wyatt's husband did it, seeing as she has 6 kids and I think either 1 or 2 is/are his. Fear go catch me.

Ladies, would the number of women a guy has slept with bother you? If you say no, how about if it's up to or over a 100?

At the rate we are going in our generation, I honestly don't know who "hates" the other sex more, men or women. It just feels like lately, we have nothing nice to say about each other. Which is ironic, because we can't live without each other.

Please feel free to disagree, but life is hard and life is exhausting.

I read a blog where this lady was giving her remedies on how she gets over heartbreak. She mentioned that she goes through this at least 3 times a year and I am like huh?? How does one experience heartbreak at least 3 times a year and keep repeating the cycle? Actually, how do people get over heartbreak and have the energy to do it all over again. Do people ever really get over people? Love is for the strong y'all.

I'm not sure if I have any male readers, but if you do can you please explain the reasoning (besides madness) behind a guy not wanting to be with you but not wanting you to be with someone else?

I found it very interesting and cool that while I was in Mexico, they pronounced my last name right, every single time.

So, Usher cheated on Tameka with not one but two women who were bridesmaids at his wedding. Read an excerpt from Wyclef's book and he outlines how he was cheating on his girlfriend (now wife) with Lauryn Hill, even after they got married. I just...I don't know. I know men cheat, I know men play games but it's like fear no dey anymore. I truly believe it's so much worse when you cheat with someone that she knows or that is close to home. Usher can have anyone he wants, why cheat with your wife's friend??? Don't get me wrong, the women who knowingly go along with it too are in the wrong also. I just...why am i trying to figure this out. maybe it's the thrill. meh.

It's a wonderful thing when you meet someone you have amazing chemistry/passion with but it could go either way. It could be the best thing ever or the most dangerous thing ever.

I get annoyed when I am watching an ad for a show and I am waiting for the times and they say "Check your local listings". Well, if it is a nationally aired show, there's a set time, why not just tell us the time?

If you follow me on twitter, you might have read a whole bunch of rants that a friend of mine went on, on wednesday and thursday. It was quite amusing and the reactions were also amusing. I was going to do a post on it but I am still undecided as to whether I will or not. All I can say is this is why the concept of marriage is quite fascinating to me. Men and women are so vastly different that it's a wonder how people survive a lifetime of marriage. God be with us all.

Iyanla might be very extra and annoying but the one thing I will agree with her on is, your intuition is your power as a woman. Now, I am talking about the real intuition, not paranoid thoughts stemming from jealousy. Personally, my intuition has always led me right. Too bad, I almost always ignore it.

I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend. Stay blessed and stay safe.

You might recognize this song from the Internet Explorer ad. I like the words of the song. It's ultimately about choosing honesty even though the other party might be hurt.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

No Complaining Rule

One of my devotionals that I receive via email, the topic today was about complaining, which I know most of us are guilty off. I felt compelled to share this with you guys. Hope it speaks to you, like it did me. See y'all later tonight, I think I just might have some randoms to share. Have a wonderful day!

5 Things to Do Instead of ComplainBy Jon Gordon
This week's topic: The Power Of The Tongue

I’ve been speaking to a lot of organizations around the country and one thing I keep hearing from leaders and employees is that complaining is at an all time high. I’m not surprised. There are usually two main reasons why we complain. 1. We complain because we feel powerless. 2. We complain because it’s a habit. The economy has shaken a lot of people’s foundations and we feel powerless which leads to a rise in habitual complaining.
But complaining isn’t something new. Think about the Israelites who had spent years as captive slaves and within a short time of being freed they start complaining. They complained about being hungry. They complained about not having enough water. They complained about living in the wilderness. They even said it would be better to be back in Egypt as slaves rather than be free in the desert. Four hundred years of slavery, and they didn’t appreciate the freedom and blessing they have been given.
Here’s the thing, God doesn’t want us to be complainers, He wants us to live with a spirit of joy and thanksgiving.
“Now when the people complained, it displeased the Lord…” – Numbers 11:1 (NKJV
“Do all things without complaining and disputing…” -Philippians 2:14 (NKJV)
So today I want to encourage you to adopt a No Complaining Rule and go on a complaining fast. Not because it will make everyone around you happier, although it will, but because it will help you experience more of the peace and joy that God wants for you, and it will help you build strong, positive relationships with others.
Believe me; I know a lot about complaining. I use to be a professional complainer and found that it not only sabotages your happiness but the morale of your team and family.
To help you break out of a “complaining” rut here are five things you can do instead of complain. These tips will help you realize you are not powerless. You have the power to choose your beliefs and actions. And in your focus on the positive instead of the negative you'll find the faith, strength and confidence to take on life’s challenges and identify the solutions to your complaints.
1. Practice Gratitude. Research shows that when we count three blessings a day, we get a measurable boost in happiness that uplifts and energizes us. It's also physiologically impossible to be stressed and thankful at the same time. If you are focusing on gratitude, you can't be negative. (Psalm 118:24)
2. Praise Others. Instead of complaining about what others are doing wrong, start focusing on what they are doing right. Praise them and watch as they create more success as a result. Of course, point out their mistakes so they can learn and grow, but make sure you give three times as much praise as criticism. You can energize and engage your coworkers by encouraging them and their work. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
3. Focus on Success. Start a success journal. Each night before you go to bed, write down the one great thing about your day. The one great conversation, accomplishment, or win that you are most proud of. Focus on your success, and you'll look forward to creating more success tomorrow. (Philippians 4:8)
4. Let Go. Focus on the things that you have the power to change, and let go of the things that are beyond your control. Give it up to God and trust Him with the outcome. You’ll be amazed that when you stop trying to control everything, it all somehow works out. Surrender is the answer. (Proverbs 3:5)
5. Pray. God wants to hear from you. He wants to have a personal relationship with you on a daily basis. Take your worries to Him and He will help you. If you’re a skeptic, also know that scientific research shows that daily prayer reduces stress; boosts positive energy; and promotes health, vitality, and longevity. When you are faced with the urge to complain or you are feeling stressed to the max, stop, be still, plug-in to the ultimate power of God and recharge. (Philippians 4:6)
Scripture of the Day: “Do all things without complaining and disputing…” -Philippians 2:14 (NKJV)

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Letter to her younger self

This is a letter Tatyana Ali wrote to her youngerself. I completely and shamelessly stole this from Anomaly's blog (Check her out). Happy Hump Day!

Dear Tatyana,

Don't be afraid of who you are.  In the times that lie ahead, you would have to stand up for yourself and hold your ground for what you believe in and those moments will define you.  Put your relationship with God first and everything else will fall into place. Cherish your sisters, your family, and your true friends - you will know who they are because they will speak truth to you.  Remember that love never needs to be rushed, take your time.  When you truly love and honor yourself, real love will find you.  I want you to know how capable you are.  You can do anything.  All you need to carry is your courage.

PS Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Say Hello to Goodbye

My blog title may not relate to my post today but in my head it did. It's a song title that popped in my head and I decided to use. It's my birthday today and today is also the day I say hello to my 30's and goodbye to my 20's (make sense now?).

I am a big birthday person. Whether it's mine or not, there's just something so exciting about celebrating a birthday. To me it means celebrating the fact that you made it through another year in this tough thing called life. The way I see it, it's either you are dead or getting older and I don't know about you but I'd rather be getting older. I just came back from a great trip with great friends to Cancun and I will be chilling today and enjoying my own company. A friend of mine made a comment about enjoying seeing me grow over the years, embracing life and its challenges and growing into my own woman. I agree with her and think I have grown over the years. I have learned a lot and I have seen my fair share of challenges. My twenties were very very very eventful and I look forward to seeing what my thirties have for me. As I type this, I thank God for all he has given me, especially the grace of life. I hope he sees it fit to continue to bless, guide and protect me.

Happy Birthday to me and y'all have a wonderful week! :)

Monday, September 3, 2012

Your thoughts?

I have always liked Pink (the singer). I think she is very underrated. It's quite hard for me to find a Pink song that I don't like, whether it's the R&B Pink or the alternative-pop Pink. I think what I like about her is you can tell she is being her. Even when she is being obnoxious and rude, you can tell her songs are straight from her heart. I just read an interview that she had and there were two things from the interview that stood out to me.

The first

Pink: I am never the kind of person sitting at home reading the charts and basing how I feel about myself or even my career on stats. I've always based it on, Am I doing the best that I can do? And how's my Fuck you account?

Q: What's that?

Pink: When I first started, L.A Reid said, "Make sure you put money in your Fuck You account. That's the account that, one day when people ask you to do things you don't want to do, you say Fuck you". I make sure that my Fuck you account is okay, so that you never have to make decisions based on money. I fell like that's where people kill their careers.

I am obviously not a famous gazillionaire, but if I was I think this would be fantastic advise. You would think with the way fame is fleeting it would be common sense but alas...

The second

Q: At one point on the new album, you sing "I really hate you so much. I think it must be true love". How much of that is you being funny and how much is it you being honest about your relationship with Carey (her husband. They broke up once before getting back together)

Pink: It's 100 percent always going on in my head. Carey and I have a very passionate relationship. No one pisses me off like my mom or my husband. I think psychologically, if you can get a rise out of someone, it means they care. We're also taught from a young age - and I am watching it with my daughter - that sometimes the only way she can get our attention is to do something bad. So we're kind of programmed from a young age to test the waters, and who do we do that with? The people we feel safest with. It's fucked up.

So the second one was really the one I wanted to ask what you guys thought. But in general, what do you think of her answer to the second question, especially the bolded parts? I don't agree that getting a rise out of someone means they care but I do know how easy it is for people we love like our parents to get under our skin, so hence the blogpost title - your thoughts?

PS To my fellow yankee peeps, have a wonderful Labor day holiday.

*interview except was retrieved from Entertainment Weekly.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

For women who are "difficult" to love

Leggy has been posting little quotes and excerpts from the poetry of Warsan Shire and I have been liking what I read. I looked her up and she is a 23 year old Kenyan born Somali Brit woman. I think her name is cool and she seems like an interesting person. I say this because, for one pictures of her show her in hijabs or her hair covered, then there are the other set of pics that have a huge hoop between her nostrils.

Interesting quote and excerpt from an interview:

I am a lover without a lover. I am lovely and lonely and I belong deeply to myself.

HL: Who taught you most about love?
WS: I think it was probably my parents.They taught me more about the absence of love. They taught me about love through the loss of it…
HL: Can you explain a little more?
WS: For a long while, I was obsessed about the breakdown of my parents’ marriage. Because I admired both of them so much separately, I couldn’t understand or make sense of how it couldn’t work. And as I grew up, the more I learned and the more I realized that sometimes it just doesn’t work out. The more I saw them as human beings and as people who have feelings and have memories, secrets and all the rest of it, I definitely made peace with it.  I learned what I want from what I don’t want.

The title of my blogpost is from a poem of hers below:

you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth

his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial 
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who 
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
less volatile, less awake

but even when sleeping you could feel 
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.