Thursday, November 29, 2012

A few things you need to know....

...to get over an ex *as stolen from Huffington post.


1. Stop all communication cold turkey. No texting, no facebook stalking, emails or phone calls...literally no unnecessary contact. It's called a breakup because it's broken, and your first and most important act is to create a healthy distance. If you have children, communicate briefly and only in writing if possible, and say only what needs to be said.

2. Accept that it's over. If the person you were with doesn't want to be with you, then clearly you shouldn't want to be with them. You deserve the best, and the best isn't included in someone who doesn't want to be by your side.

3. Turn your face and focus to the light and future. Begin to imagine how you want your future to evolve, reate a new vision for your future and then take the first steps to making them your reality.

4. Take accountability. No matter how big a jerk your ex was, you inevitably did things that contributed to the end of the relationship as well. Focusing on your ex's flaws will only leave you mired in the past and destined to make same mistakes in next relationships.

5. Give yourself time to grieve. But remember, your goal is to pull yourself together and move forward.

6. Don;'t obsess over the causes. The relationship is over, the time to fix has passed.

7. Breakups change your life, it doesn't end it.

8. Stop idealizing. It is easy to start romanticizing your ex as time passes after a breakup. When you are in pain and don't encounter others that meet and exceed your expectations, your ex starts to look really good. DOn't be fooled, there are reasons it did not work out.

9. Love yourself.

10. The grief process is over when it's over, not when you want it to be or when it's convenient. Grief has a life of its own and the more you fight your true feelings, the more they hang around.

What do you guys think? You have any additions or subtractions? Have a wonderful day!

2 comments:

original mgbeke said...

Amen to all of this! I'm definitely big on #1...cut and distance myself from them.

mizchif said...

#GBAMATION
I almost feel like i wrote this even.

I mean if we're not together anymore i don't need you intruding into my conciousness via your bbm personal message or facebook status update. Or following your life with your new boo via your twitter feed? Mba nu, no need. Delete.

Oh i also imagine all the evil things i'm wishing your way coming to pass and i laugh my evil laugh, it helps. Yea i know i'm evil *shrug*