Why won't you let us live, COVID?

-

 I am always complaining about people leaving blogville and now I have become one of the people who don't post regularly. This is not intentional. I have COVID burnout and I am not ashamed to admit it. I feel a bit weird to say it because I didn't have to spend lockdown by myself and I also didn't have to spend it with kids while trying to manage a full time job, so do I have a right to complain?

I think I do though. (It's my party, I can cry if I want to...and all that jazz)

COVID has affected people in different ways and believe it or not for some, they haven't really been affected. In fact, they have thrived. Again, I don't know where I fall in this category. On paper, most would say I was thriving. I started the lockdown unemployed and with no direction. Fast forward and I am at a job I like with a great boss and I started two podcasts with one doing better than we ever expected. It didn't occur to me until much later in a random moment that I was doing what I always said I wanted to do - to get paid to gab about anything pop culture related. Life is funny eh?

On the flip side, my anxiety was through the roof not knowing what this virus was about, witnessing so much death and illness, I lost my uncle during this time, despite my best attempts I did not avoid the COVID weight gain, I have not seen most of my family in almost two years, I had a nephew that I will never have newborn pics with and I have yet to meet. 

A year later, with the fakeout that was the light at the end of the tunnel all I felt/feel is exhaustion. I am tired, people. Mentally, physically, emotionally et al. We still don't know what this virus is about, there is so much going on. I had a mini vacation but I don't even know if vacations refresh anyone anymore because it was almost like it didn't happen.

I truly recognize my blessings and I am grateful but I also recognize my exhaustion. I wish I could take like a 6 month sabbatical and just coast through everything. It's just all too much. I have never done well with the unknown and COVID is seeming to be a big giant ball of the unknown. I know I have to adjust and get with the program and I will. Humans are resilient.

You can thank the resurgence of COVID for this post. I AM TIRED OF COVID AND ALL THAT IT COMES WITH! I am not as scared as the first time around because I just don't have the same energy to give but more than anything I wish everything would "normalize" so we can just worry about the million other things life already gives us to worry about. COVID just elevates all of those worries with another layer.

How is everyone doing, really and truly? Hope everyone is hanging in there and for those who are doing well, do you have any tips?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Learn about me - 100 truths

-
Thanks for the well wishes from my last post guys, I appreciate it. So far, so good in the week. I am ready for the weekend before another week of travels. Today's post was totally fapped from Lohi's blog . Feel free to do it also if you're compelled to. 1.  Last drink:  One of them Naked Smoothies 2.  Last phone call:    My Eej 3.  Last text message : Bolustic 4.  Last song you listened to:  Scared of Beautiful - Frank Ocean 5.  Last time you cried:   few weeks ago SIX HAVE YOU EVER: 6.  Dated someone twice:  Nope 7.  Been cheated on:  Not to my knowledge. 8.  Kissed someone:  Yes. 9.  Lost someone special:  Hmm..don't think so 10.  Been depressed:  I'd hate to say yes because I know it's a big thing for some but I've been deeply sad. 11.  Been drunk and threw up : Yes...in public. It was embarrassing. Patron is not my friend. LIST FOUR FAVORITE COLOURS: 12. Black 13. Red 14...
Read more

Pick me, Choose me, Love me....then Discuss

-
Before I post the topic of discussion, I have to preface it by saying that even though Grey's Anatomy is shit now, there was once a time it was a really good show. Ok, maybe shit is harsh but it definitely has more down than up episodes. Anyways, I really despised Meredith, my best friend never quite got why I couldn't stand her, she thought I would be able to relate to her (oh dear god, yuck!). I vividly remember that episode, when Derek was torn between Addison and herself and she told him: "okay, here it is, your choice... it's simple, her or me, and I'm sure she is really great. but, I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake,hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. so pick me, choose me, love me". Dear God, I cringed. I remember feeling so embarassed for Meredith. I remember wondering what kind of woman loses her pride and...
Read more

Random Thursday

-
I am in class all bored and stuff with A LOT of stuff on my mind, sigh. I have done blog rounds and visited a lot of bloggers for the first time, so I decided to just write out some stuff I can share. - Are there people out there who don't suffer from procrastination? I need to get on whatever it is they are on. It's like I know what I need to be doing and should be doing but I just don't, it's the most amazing and infuriating thing. - So you know the stereotype of how most Asians are small and skinny. When I see a fat one, I usually wonder how they feel and if they feel like they have failed their race. Oh yea, Fat Asians make me uncomfortable (It's my random, sue me) - I used to LOVE the show, Friends. I still love it, actually it's my favorite comedy and second favorite show (behind Six Feet Under). Never missed an episode when it was on. I had the soundtrack cd to the show, I'd watch the reruns like I hadn't seen it ten million times, I'd say th...
Read more