Friday Randoms

Howdy folks, it's yet another Friday. Hope you guys had a good Easter and a good week overall. Today we heard about the passing of famed movie critic, Roger Ebert. It really hit me cuz I really, truly respected him. He also had one of those cases where I ask God why? He went through salivary and thyroid cancer that made him lose his ability to talk (and eat if i recall). If you google his pics, you can see the vast difference in him physically. As if that wasn't enough, his cancer returned and that was what took his life. Sigh. Anyways, my condolences to his loved ones especially his wife, Chaz. May his soul rest in peace. Sorry for the dreary intro.I'll random now.

I actually don't think my thoughts are random today, more like Friday Well Thought Out Thoughts

"Knowing that things could be worse should not stop us from trying to make it better"

I don't think I know any triplets my age.

Why do you think people find it so hard to say "I don't know"?

A friend of mine told me a story of how a dude whose wife just had a baby. Him being the everly, doting husband decided to not stress his wife for sex but instead got 5 steadies, so that way there is balance and order. While that is so crazy given that it is Nigeria, I wasn't so surprised. In the course of convo, I mentioned well not all husbands will do that, it's kinda like saying that there aren't any guys who will be with a girl waiting till marriage for sex and she said you know I actually don't believe there are guys like that, they have people on the side. I thought about it, granted they may be rare, I still believe there are guys like that but she isnt the first person I have heard that from, a lot of people I know don't agree with me. What I did find funny was that I don't believe that guys who live in Naija will wait but those out the country will. lol pretty silly line of reasoning, eh?

I asked a question earlier this week, if you would be willing to carry your sister's baby if she couldn't conceive. A lot of people said yes and I was really surprised. I personally doubt I would. People, pregnancy is NOT beans, it's like...a process. Also, it wouldn't be fair to my husband. If I was going to do it, I wouldn't do it when I was single or before I have had my own kids. Maybe I am just selfish.

I was always of the mindset that people/friendship automatically changes once a person gets married. Talking to a friend of mine, I mean yes, some things change but when there are big changes, it's not because they got married, it's a personality thing. Afterall, even friendships when the person isn't married change, so what's the excuse then? Some people do take the marriage thing as a crown and can't associate with single folk but that's a different matter.

Speaking of that, sometimes mehn people be making it sound like single people have leprosy, it's quite amazing. They don't have the right to say xyz, when they say xyz it's because you are single and haven't been bestowed with the intelligence that comes when a ring is on your finger. Nigerians are something else lol.

It's amazing how my desire to move to Naij is at a 0. I remember when it was at a 1000 in 2008 when I started Grad school. Did my stint in Naij in 2009 and I was for sure that I was moving back right after grad school. I never found a job but i kept looking hard but now? No thanks.

"Sometimes when you are hurt so badly, what hurts might not be what they did but who did it"

If you read your bible by typing in verses and chapters online, does it still count?

You know how when you see a younger person, so full of hope, life, love etc and you remember when you were like that before the real world took over. You would want to say something but it is definitely not your place to shatter anyone and besides when you are young, you believe you are wise beyond your years and you can't tell me nothing. I was thinking about this and you can't project your life on someone else, we all live life based on our reality and what we have experienced. If you watch RHOA, Porscha has an intro that says people say she has a picture perfect life and she does. We used to joke that she lived in a bubble. She said whatever she projected to the Universe she always got and you know what? you can't go telling someone like that nah life is xyz because in her reality everything does go well. I do think eventually though, we all go through the school of life and we all learn life lessons that are important to our growth as human beings.

Based on the above, I went through an incident this week that reminded me how we are unaware as human beings about our fellow human beings. We are all in our own little world, everly ready to prove why the other person is wrong and we are right. Listening and going that one level deeper is fading slowly. 

Ladies who get terrible cramps. Not like ouch here and there, but like serious debilitating pain cramps, please go checked out with your doctor/obgyn. If your flow is heavy also, those two are symptoms of fibroids and per my doctor 1 in 4 black women have those. PSA done. Fellas sorry.

So I heard this quote on Survivor last week and forgot to put this on here. I loved it:
"I feel like I want to say she has a vanilla personality but I'll be doing a great disservice to the vanilla flavor. "People clamor for vanilla flavored things. Noone is clamoring for anything she has to offer"

I did my entry for the365ngproject. You can read it here -

Also, don't forget

Have a wonderful weekend guys!


Berry Dakara said…
It's a REALLY long post. But from what I gathered...

1. I'm a weirdo cos I say "I don't know" ALL THE TIME!

2. Erm, I saw your 365 entry - nice!

3. Sooooooooooooooo sad about Roger Ebert. I saw that he announced his cancer returned, then spent 30 minutes looking up Before/After pics, and reading about him on Wikipedia. Cut to yesterday and he's dead?! Cancer is terrible!
LadyNgo said…
I don't think i know triplets of any age.

i say i don't know all the damn time lol. it's a lil too easy for me.

I'm not even half interested in having my own kids so i'd never be a surrogate for anyone- friend, foe or family. If you can't get pregnant, adopt. The end. (no offense to those who have fertility issues)

Chiiiiild, its not just Nigerians that treat you like you're some sort of invalid if you are single.
leggy said…
i have terrible cramps but i have such a light flow, like my period lasts just 3 days. the doctors have given up.they're just like well, at least nothing is wrong with you. i might start on birth control pills for the cramps but not sure yet.
some nigerian married women are ridiculous. they're in their loveless marriage where their husbands cheat so much and beat the shit out of them and are looking down at their single friends who have totally amazing lives. to each their own though.
lol. i really hope men who wait for their girlfriends to be ready are higher than what you stated oh. lol.
Ada said…
The news about Roger Ebert was sad for me too. I've always known him as a respected critic in the film industry and to find out that he battled such an illness before he died is heartbreaking. May his soul rest in peace.
R. One said…
People have a hard time saying 'i don't know'? Hmm.

I'm the opposite. I don't think i can carry a child for another before i'm able to carry one for myself [totally selfish reasons]. I'd be more inclined to do it after but I do get the bit about not being fair to the hubby.

Yes it counts!

Haha...i remember that blue boom box ;)
Kash said…
I do believe marriage can change some friendships however luckily I haven't experienced that yet. My best friend's husband was of the mindset that she couldn't have single friends after they got married but seeing as though most of her friends are not married, that changed and we're still pretty tight. I definitely don't agree with that whole mess.

I would not even entertain the idea of carrying a baby for my sister. Not trying to be mean or anything but I can't even do it. I barely want to carry mine and would gladly use a surrogate if my husband would be ok with it.

Back in the day I was at a 0 for moving back to Nigeria, but now I'm at a 10...I'm not quite sure why.
Mz.T said…
LOL at your friend who thinks there aren't any guys who will wait till marriage and you know why I'm lol-ing.

I would not carry a baby for my sister.

I think it's normal for the change in friendships/relationships after marriage... It's like you're in a new stage of life and you need people who understand your new struggles and who you can do coupley things with. Heehee.

I don't remember the rest of your blog post so bye.
MPB said…
why dont you want to move back to naija anymore?
jubekee said…
Let me just say that's why I don't usually post comments, cos I have a lot to say in my head and when I think of typing ,laziness will not allow me,that said , let me now comment :
Didn't even know who the roger guy was, and when we saw it on tv, my mum was like ewooo, this man, so the cancer finally killed him, and I'm like........never mind.
Come to think of it, I've never seen any age of triplets my whole life.
I didn't understand the story your friend told you,you mean as in he had girlfriends because he didn't want to disturb his wife for sex?make me understand biko.
I wish somebody would even ask me sef,I was watching that true life show and I thought I heard the lady say 50 k for been a surrogate , I said whaaa,these ones that won't let me sleep are free naa. Anyway, pregnancy is not that hard , I would totally do it for sister, friend, as long as they don't tell me what to eat or when to take my vitamins and stuff.
True talk , friendship changes with marriage,but it's not always on the part of the married person. Me I would take all my old single friends anyday than make new married friends. I think it's because you guys don't share common challenges anymore mostly.and sometimes too some husbands make it difficult. If its friends that knew you guys before you we're married, most times the relationship stays thesame. One question though, why is it hard to make new friends as a mature adult, or is it just me?
It should count, all na the word. Youversion bible app helps me a lot.
It's all part of been young,so I don't say anything. Sometimes when I'm on twitter I just shake my head at how young people think, and I'm like give yourself a few years and you'll see it differently.
Cochran is so funny, the last episode on survivor though, tension.
I miss naija.
That is all.
* excuse any typos, It's autocorrects' fault.
Fabulo-la said…
Absolutely DEAD at that vanilla comment!
Like WOWzer!

I get the change in relationships after marriage or whatnot. But when people start avoiding their single friends...well.
Lets not get into that.
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mizchif said…
Me that i'm looking for who i will pay to be my surrogate, definitely cannot be a surrogate for anybody.

I miss that young less cynical time sha. *sigh* Age teaches you so many things. And by teach i mean makes you jaded/cynical.

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