Monday, February 28, 2011

Much Ado About Nothing

This isn't going to be a long post, just wanted to get something out. I had no intention of blogging tonight but I just watched "Bethenny Ever After" and there's a scene where she is in therapy discussing her non relationship with her dad and her mom and I got that "feeling" I usually get when I watch stuff that pertains to non existent parent relationship.

As some of you may know, I have an almost non existent relationship with my dad, so it's hard for me to put that "feeling" in words. That's not the point of my post though, I think part of what comes with that feeling is a little resentment at not being able to talk about it. You know you hear about people who are labeled "the one with daddy issues" and you don't want to be that girl who blames everything in their life on their absent father and yea I agree with that, you shape your own life, you deal with the cards you are dealt with and try to move past it. The fact is, having an absentee father is part of my reality, it has shaped some of what I am today. I have done the best I can to not let it control my life. Have I done the best job? I don't know. Sometimes I do want to yell at people who have no idea when they casually throw out the "you have to just get over it" It's like, am I supposed to act like this never happened? Do I just keep going on suppressing thoughts and feelings? I don't know the answer but for the most part that's what I do, mostly because I am just really conscious of what I mentioned above - I don't want to be that girl, so even when I might just be venting, I'd feel like I was whining. Every now and then, I have those moments where I think about it, but for the most part, I am in a good place and I have reached a point where I can sincerely say I am good.

Anyhue, it really could be a lot worse and I am okay really. Before you guys flood the comment box with condolence sounding messages lol. Let me emphasize that I am okay oh!It was just a thought I had and felt the need to write about it. Hope y'all had a wonderful Monday. I sho' did thanks to Charlie Sheen and his numerous interviews. Oh did anyone catch the dry ass Oscars? I should do a write up on that. Laters!

PS Forgive my sucky title. I couldn't think of anything.


MPB said...

The oscars had some funny moments, or maybe I was on my natural high from it being the oscars.
You have the right to vent about your dad and that whole situation. Many times I wonder about your feelings and thoughts about that but don't want to seem nosy or insensitive, so it is surprising to me that you feel like you may be whining when you talk about such a crucial topic. Lets see do I have any condolence messages? lol naaa.

Anonymous said...

Okay no "condolence sounding messages" sweets. So all i'll say is i totally get where you're coming from.

Didn't watch the Oscars. Saw a clip of Mr Sheen rambling like a [insert word] today. Just so sad... Makes for good snl skits though. Can't wait for Saturday's show. Hopefully it's not a re-run...My Monday was okay...Not bad.

Ps: Defensive much! ---->"condolence sounding messages"

okay bye:)


Anonymous said...

Hi CILy, I came, I read and I conquered lol. This might be ur most personal/open post yet and I am happy that u were comfy enough to say some of what u feel.

I hope I never make u feel like u r whining or have daddy issues etc. I know I have the tendency to take the March on/Get over it approach to things but it is never to discourage or trivialize what is been said, it is just my attempt at providing a solution which is d only way I know to deal with stuff.

Lol, I sound like I have guilty conco. Lol. Anyways this is me commenting oh!

"As we have Marched into March, we will march with God's plans for us and we will March over all d̶̲̥̅̊ plans of the devil and glorify God's matchless name. We are marching forward into our glorious destiny, into divine favor, into divine protection, into divine blessings & into God's divine plans & path for our lives. March on well in Jesus Name."

Tihi :D

Anonymous said...

P.s. Is it not time to change dis template? Hurts my eyes when I read on my bb. Thank u in advance.

Said CILy

kitkat said...

the oscars are never really interesting right? we dnt xpect actors/actresses to be as flamboyant and interesting as musicians,lol. i never bother watchin any movie related award show..cos i know it'll be a snooze.
I wish i cld say i know hw u feel(asper the daddy issue) but i dnt strong girl, it must be real frustrating and painful attimes. glad u dnt wanna be whiny about it lool

LohiO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LohiO said...

Good to know you are Ok (((HUGS))))

Oscars----> Thank God for twitter!

RepOne said...

You are well within your right to vent as you so desire but i do get your hesitating to do so...not because i can relate to this particular situation but cos we don't like to come off as whiners.

Like CILy said, i hope i don't make you feel like you can't vent when you need to.

It is good to know that you are good tho'

PS: Bethenny [the housewive] got a spin-off show? doing wetin?

LucidLilith said...

I don't think you have daddy issues. You don't come across like someone with daddy issues.

On the other hand, I have serious daddy issues. He is very much in my life but not a very lovey dovey person. That was just him. I can count how many times he hugged me or anyone else. He was just strict while I was growing up.

Now I find I am just like him. It really saddens me but ... there is not much you can do about genetics.

Beulah! said...

Nice blog!!.... Yes ooo i agree with u, d year is definitely moving at light speed

Hae fun!