Once upon a date

I don't know about y'all but I was just celebrating the beginning of Spring, but somehow in the last few days, the gods vexed and now its cold even in Texas. Had to burst out the turtlenecks and boots again (speaking of boots, I have these pair of knee highs that always make me feel sexy and on top of the world, but I digress). Today it's all rainy and dark and gloomy and all that jazz. This girl is not happy at all. I want my sun and heat back! In my ever cluttered brain of non stop thoughts, the other day I pulled out a memory of a date I went on, back when I was young and actually went on dates. It always makes me laugh so I thought I'd share.

So, in my old apartment complex I'm checking my mail and this black dude comes by to check his mail also. I could feel him staring but I thought nothing of it - I promise I say this with 95% humility, African American men love me, so I am accustomed to them staring and I just ignore them unless they say something. Well this one said something, it's been a while so I can't remember it all, besides being tall, he wasn't my spec but I said yes to dinner anyways. We agreed to meet at a spot within the complex and I think I had spoken to him on the phone right before I headed out my apartment. So I am standing there and a car was driving up to me with a black man in it, I gave a half smile in recognition but he drove right past me but then reversed. I said hi and jumped in the car, the guy said hi back and was smiling. I said so where are we headed and he looked puzzled and said you tell me. Hmmm, something wasn't right, I think I'd remember if the guy had dreads or would I?. Then I realized that I had no clue what the dude who was taking me out to dinner ( lets call him Kevin. I don't even remember his real name) looked like, but it definitely wasn't whoever I was in the car with at this moment. I had totally forgotten! I quickly apologized and hopped out the car.

Kevin eventually drove up and yea I definitely didn't remember him at all and umm I must have been on cough syrup when I agreed to dinner cuz for one he looked waaay older, I'll leave the other reasons alone. No yawa, let's go na. He took me to On the Border, a mexican restaurant and he did most of the talking, I don't remember any of it now but it wasn't riveting convo. I think he asked questions about Nigeria or something, honestly I don't remember. At the end of dinner, when it was time to pay he pulled out 2 gift cards and instructed the waitress on how much to charge on each one. Till date, I still don't know if there is anything wrong with that but I'd be lying if I said I was not a bit taken aback. I think he suggested going somewhere afterwards but I was just ready to get home at this point. On the way home, I am not even sure how donuts came up and he said "it reminds me of breakfast they used to give us when I was in jail". I was like say wha? and he was like "oh yea, I was in jail for a little bit, I couldn't pay my bond....". Now he said this so casually like it was normal to have gone to jail and began to regal me with tales from jail like their routine, his chores etc till I got home.

Let's just say that was the last time I saw Kevin. I was always on the lookout whenever I checked my mail but I think he moved out. He did give me a call on Christmas day later in the year because he remembered my family wasn't in the country and just wanted to make sure I was ok, which was nice of him, but that was it. I don't know why I remembered this but it still makes me chuckle. Hope everyone has a good rest of the week. Happy Hump Day!

PS Nice Anon - osiso. Chiata to the world jo. nonsense.


HoneyDame said…
Oh gawd oh gawd!!!
I know of several dates i have gone on without remembering what my dates were supposed to look like before hand. There was even one that I went on dates with about 5 times and I never even remembered his name...smh
Your story is hella hilarious tho'.
Happy hump day?....**ears straining** biko tell me more
HoneyDame said…
See me and my constantly-in-the-gutter-mind. Here I was thinking hump day was "hump" day. Dont worry jare, I now know what it means...and yeah, I feel deflated....
Interesting, at least the guy was open about it. I would haave been so afraid....
Vivi said…
This story is just too effin' funny. It just made me night! I thought you just jumping in some random's car was going to be the highlight. But no! We got the guy whipping out two gift cards on the 1st date. Then not to be outdone, you guys engaged in a random conversation about doughnuts which lead to the gem of the story: his stint in jail. *faints* And because going to jail is just an everyday thing for some folks, he decides to educate you in his daily routine of what he used to do while he was in jail. Wow oh wow. I'm done. So done.
Mgbeks said…
LMAOOO. I had a good chuckle at this. From jumping into the wrong car to giftcards to jail. What a day, huh!
Twas sweet of him to call sha sha. Haha!
LWKMD...Jail ke? I wld have jst gone silent all thru till we reach house lol
dhjax said…
I guess you're on the inquisitive side then... Bloke was up front about the jail thingy too I think.. A wee plus..
Mamuje said…
OMGosh.... Pele my dear. Our good Lord will not let that happen again.
Anonymous said…
"Number forty-seven said to number three:
"You're the cutest jailbird I ever did see.
I sure would be delighted with your company,
come on and do the Jailhouse Rock with me."
Let's rock, everybody, let's rock.
Everybody in the whole cell block
was dancin' to the Jailhouse Rock."

MPB said…
This gave me a good laugh, thanks!
kitkat said…
hahaha!! i cnt believe u jumpd into a random guy's car :p
and as for kevin,lool! girl what were u thinkin? smh. the highest i cn do is xchange number, but to go out on a date with a questionable looking person?? O_o lol
EDJ said…
LOL. Wow. Gift cards on a date? Na wah oh! Wonders shall never cease. AT least he didn't bankrupt himself because of a date. Actually we should be applauding his fiscal responsibility.

I also can't believe you got into the wrong car. Lol. Its that old age shey? :P
Diyani said…
Just had the best laugh of the week. Thank you! I remember having one of those, when I decided not to see him again.. he delivered gingerbread cookies houses to my house... I don't even like gingerbread cookies, much less to eat a whole house! Lol... life and dating!
Yankeenaijababe said…
lol..crazy dude, to know you reside in Texas...wow!!! We have to hang out sometime when I move there.lol

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