Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Perspective

Perspective is defined as "A way of regarding situations, facts, etc., and judging their relative importance".

I think as we get older Perspective is an important thing to have. It helps see things from different points of views and saves us from one track/narrow mindedness. The beauty of it all is as human beings a lot of us things factor into things that become our Perspective such as life experiences, personality traits etc so everyone sees things differently, which isn't a bad thing because we don't have to agree but we can learn from it. To visualize what I am trying to say, try to think of that Bayer ad were a bunch of women were blindfolded and told to guess what they were touching and it varied from a rope, to a wall, to a pillar depending on what part of the rhino they were touching. Here's the link if you haven't seen it.

Why am I yapping about this? There are two reasons.

1) Today I was talking to my friend and telling her of a recent complaint my friend had about me. I guess this isn't the first time I had mentioned complaints that my friends had about me because she asked why I put up with it. Thinking about it, I don't know if the complaints are frequent but every now and then I do get into conversations where my transgressions are laid out by my friends. I digress, anyways my friend continued to say friendship should not be that hard and if it were her she would walk away. I've thought about this in the past and my conclusion was what I told my friend, for me putting things in perspective ie the big picture. To me, I don't expect perfect relationships I think there are ups and downs within reason. The same way my friends put up with my imperfections, I am willing to reciprocate. Over the years, I have learned about my oldest friends, i don't get upset about the little things I used to expect, it's the big picture that matters to me e.g in the time that I was unemployed, my friend who is not a caller or keep in toucher was the one who housed me and fed me, my lirru panda who I (used to) butt heads with often, was a managing student but sent me lirru pocket money in a timely manner. These are the things I choose to remember and that I put in perspective when I wonder why I bother.

2) We humans tend to waste no time in feeling sorry for ourselves and that cliche term that no matter how bad things are, there is always someone worse is so true. A few weeks ago, my company sponsored the Special Olympics and I was privileged to watch the opening ceremony and that left a huge impact on me. Seeing these kids who ALL had some form of mental disability being so happy and just enjoying life, made me wonder what I complained about. Some of these kids will never fully be able to have perfect speech, some will never have functioning motor skills and yet I want to complain. I watched Jennifer Hudson's "Behind the Music" yesterday and they recounted the whole tragedy of the murder of her mother, brother and nephew. Yes she has the fame and money but putting things in perspective, that was a terrible thing that happened and most of us are in a position (i think) to say that we have not experienced that. We should be brought back to earth and be thankful for the little blessings that we have.

Perspective gives us sight where our selfishness blinds us.

P.S - Due to MPB's comment, I am editing to add that in no way do I mean this as a reprimand, sermon or to imply that I am perfect and I am always "perspective-y". Not at all, I lose sight of things like everyone else and I believe everyone is allowed to have down moments and to whine and complain as much as they want, I only wanted to use it as a reminder that in those moments at a certain point we can always turn to the little things we can be grateful for to help lift our mood. It doesn't always work but it's worth a try.

Hope I made sense to you guys, feel free to share your thoughts and have a blessed remainder of the week :)

7 comments:

MPB said...

Oooooh I am first and I have a lot to say. Love the tying in of everything to "perspective". For the thing you wrote about friendship. I agree that there are no perfect friendships, but there are limits and boundaries. I don't rely on my friends for happiness, and there is no reason why my friend should be a constant source of negativity to me, so if a friendship is bringing negative feelings to my life, then i let it go. There's a difference between keeping that friend who forgot to send me a birthday card vs getting rid of that friend who makes me feel like the scum of the earth in the name of "constructive criticism". I know what I can handle in friendships and it seems like you know what you can handle as well.

Next, I find it weird that people constantly seem to reprimand others for complaining or feeling bad about themselves because someone out there has it worse. I think they know, but whatever happened to them feels bad too at that time. I say they know, because most people that have ever bitched or whined to me about something, I have seen being grateful for the good things too. God gave us those feelings ....shoo there's a whole book in the Bible called Lamentations lol. You probably didnt mean it as a reprimand, but it feels like I have seen a couple of blog posts along those lines in Blogville, where the message seems to be "don't feel bad or complain, be thankful, others have it worse".

Nutty J. said...

Okay I dont really blame people who dont look beyond the 'now' sometimes...whatever happened to them, at that time may have shocked 'perspective' out of them.

Only later can they now see it in another light. And for real Perspective does give us sight where our selfishness blinds us.


Good Post Girl

TayneMent said...

@MPB - Yes you are right, I did not mean it as a reprimand more like something to use/help as a pick me up during the down times. In no way am I implying to push those feelings down and suck it up, hope it didnt' come out that way.

@Nutty J, yes you are right.

blogoratti said...

Having different perspectives about life allows for inner strength and personal growth.

Best thing is to cherish life and live for the moment-and learn from the past.

neefemi said...

What blogoratti said.... i just think that one's happiness is very important and looking at the "big picture" might allow you settle for what you shouldn't settle for....p.s you can allow it from your friends, will you allow it from the man in your life?

Jaycee said...

I completely feel you. I've learned that because no two finger-prints are equal, our perspectives will remain different.

There's something else I'm sure of though, the fact that we have different perspectives does not necessarily mean each of them are true. I will use the color analogy: one color has different shades, and because those different shades vary does not mean that the color changes. But someone else might come and tell you that the color is a different color entirely, and that person's perspective would be false.

So yes, we all have different perspectives and can learn from each other, but we also need to learn to filter those things we hear. In other words, not every complaint from your friends are accurate...but you can correct those that were targeted in all honesty.

ps: I did not know I was gonna have a long comment on this one. I promise you I was supposed to write just one line. Lol.

Myne Whitman said...

Nice reminder. I don't think it's about being preachy or thinking one is perfect. Sometimes you do have to choose your battles and attitudes. It removes so much stress from life.