Monday, June 14, 2010

Favored/Unfavored

So my post was inspired by an old friend of mine who even though we don't talk often over the phone, we tend to catch up online every now and then and have these "make your brain cells" think situation. lol you know yourself. Here is what she asked:


do you think fate/destiny plays a part in our lives? do you think we do, our state of mind, speech, thoughts..play a significant part in our lives? - how helpless do you think most people feel about their future plans, goals, aspirations?

Of course, my first answer was "Uggh, I've pondered that a lot but I have no idea", only because it seems as I get older, everything I think that is, really isn't. But days passed and ponder more I did and here are my scrambled thoughts (as usual).

So ask me some time ago and I always used to (half)jokingly say that at least 85% of my friends were highly favored. I said this because I felt like things came easy for them. It was like as long as they spoke something in the air, it came to fruition, meanwhile I had been speaking just for one thing for like six years and zilch. Anyways as I get older and add to my knowledge, I realise that I was wrong, very wrong. I remember when I was fervently looking for a job that matched my qualifications, I heard a lot of things. I remember once when someone was trying to "console" me and I asked what they would do if they were in my position and the answer I got was they don't think they would be in that position because they would have done everything possible and thought everything through to ensure some form of job security. I am really sure the person didn't mean it in a bad way, but it made me feel like it might seem like I wasn't searching or working hard enough to secure this job I thought I deserved.


To answer my friends's questions, yes I believe faith and destiny play a part in our lives. As a christian, I believe our lives are already mapped out, I don't think we create our destiny, thsi is not to say we just sit back and watch oh!, no we were given brains to use so we have to play our own part. I don't think positive/negative thinking leads to positive/negative things happening to you in your life. I do think that positive thinking is a better option because it helps you get through tough times better and in general its just a way better option than being negative.I think most people are helpless about their future plans but I could be wrong because you hear these people on TV who say, "I knew what I wanted and I worked hard to get there". This is where the thing about favor comes in. For example, two people with good voices(and all other things of equal amount) go audition for a record deal and one of them gets it. Some might call that favor, I believe it just wasn't their destiny to get it at that time. Infact the more I think about it, I don't know how I feel about the word favor, it implies being better than another and the way I see it we are all God's children (both believers and unbelievers) and He loves us all equally. My friend and I also talked about generational curses and I am still on the fence about that because the God I serve doesn't seem unfair to punish sons for the sins of their father *cue in old testament*

In conclusion sha I do not believe that anyone is unfavored, I believe we are all favored, some things do just come easier to some people and that's only because our lives are different and our paths are different, our job is to roll with the punches and try to learn lessons. This weekend I watched two documentaries Saving Africa's Witch Children - PLEASE, I beg everyone to watch, it's on HBO and is focused on children in Akwa Ibom states, if you think you are not favored please tell me if you have ever had a 3inch nail hammered into your head so they can get a confession from you because a "pastor" randomly said you are a witch. The second was The Lazarus Effect focused on people with HIV who have lost siblings and children to this disease and I know I am deviating but I just want to put things in perspective and the next time any of us feel like we are "not favored", we should remember to put things in perspective, like mommy always says, we don't know the whole story for everyone. A friend of mine sent an email today: Until you make peace with who you are, you'll never be content with what u have. "Life isnt a matter of milestones but of moments" (Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy)! Start laughing now! Start dancing now!.

Have a lovely week mi blog familia and please, please, please leave your very detailed opinions on whatever made sense to you from my ramblings.

PS This is my opinion as of right now and is subject to change :D

10 comments:

Nutty J. said...

Sweetheart, lemme start from your statement here:

//the God I serve doesn't seem unfair to punish sons for the sins of their father //

This scripture answers that:

Exodus 34:7

(''maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.")

Secondly as for favour...people by default are favoured of God...( Romans 9:13—As it is written, "Jacob have I loved, but Esau have I hated.")

Again, Romans 9: 15: For he says to Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion."

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But lets lets not use bible now and come down to our own level... God loves everyone equally ya? Just pause for an instant and think about a mother with many children she loves equally.... the one child who is always at her service, who is always willing to please her...who goes the extra mile for her....automatically becomes more favoured than the rest. Its the same with God...these sets are not favoured by default, they are favoured becos of their selfless love for God.

So Jacob was destined to be great and he was favoured by default by God... others are favoured for their love for God....


Just my understanding sha.

Diyani said...

mmh, just when consistency of thought almost approached- Nutty J had to come and.. :)
..."yet he does not leave guilty unpunished...." so a child born into the world may just be partially doomed because of the sins of his grandfather or great grandparents? Seems a bit dark and unfortunate because most people cannot and do not know what has occurred in generations prior. Do we then believe that all the "lucky" people just had great ancestors?
what then happens if you serve God and are one of the "favored" but your ancestors were evil, are you then immune from the sins of your fathers? You get a pass then?

Also, I know of non Christians who to seem to have wonderful lives .. are the favored but not by GOD? or is it just luck??

I think I am responding more to Nutty J than to the post.. lol.

Interesting post though, your old friend sounds awesome! :) This should make for a nice debate..

Nutty J. said...

Diyani:

//what then happens if you serve God and are one of the "favored" but your ancestors were evil, are you then immune from the sins of your fathers?//

(2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.)

...but the difference here is that you have to be in christ...not just a follower of christ (christian) but u have to be born again, repented of all your sin and find a new family (away from ur ancestors o jare ) and belong to the family of christ.
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//Do we then believe that all the "lucky" people just had great ancestors?//

okay that first verse of my last comment...this is the continuation : (...visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, and on the third and the fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands of generations)

sO YES...Those ancestors most have done something good that the reward is still flowing to their children)
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//Also, I know of non Christians who to seem to have wonderful lives .. are the favored but not by GOD? or is it just luck??//

I'm tempted to still use the passage of ''...i'll have mercy on whom I'll have mercy on and compassion on who I'll have compassion on'' and this could also be 50% true.

But something else I discovered is this passage:

( Pro. 13: 22 A good [man] leaveth an inheritance to his children's children: and the wealth of the sinner [is] laid up for the just)

The things you see the unbelievers enjoying is either sheer mercy from God cos he has choosen to show them mercy....or maybe, just maybe they are amassing such wealth for the Just to take it from them...by the 'just' I mean the 'righteous'.
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Another reason why non-christians prosper is becos they are willing to work....the christians forget to give what is ceaser to ceaser and concentrate on giving everything to God...hence time to work, you will see them praying or reading their bible, having faith that manner will come from heaven...forgetting that there is time for everything.
***********************************Have you ever heard that the world is not fair...well these are the reasons. children paying for sins of their fore fathers... non-believers better placed in society. The honest man toiling to no avail for a better life. It has all been written...we just have to pray that the God of time and chance would make time and chance favour us.

TayneMent said...

Nutty J i appreciate your comments please I hope you check back often and respond to comments. I have read of the scriptures you mentioned and even the Bible says it, it just seems unjust. I also have the same question as Diyani.

Diyani said...

First thought- ..and he hunts for me even through the invisible people of the web..

Nutty- Thanks for the detailed response. As usual there will forever be a discord between logic and religion, one must drop one to fully embrace the other... and there in lies the conflict.

I appreciate you actually pulling up verses.. I will go find them... and try not to over analyze :)

Taynement! 2 comments in one day, I am officially off the non commenting followers!!

Original Mgbeke said...

The whole 'you're so favored' deal irks me. The way I see things is: I might be the singer who wants that record deal, and at the same wants to get into Harvard and the girl next door got those 2 things. In my opinion, that doesn't make her more favored than me. Our paths are different, and I don't know where she is going and vice versa.
Secondly, I feel that looking at people from the outside and instantly jumping to conclusions about their 'favored' status get as e be. Yeah she might have that coveted record deal and the Harvard admission, but might come from a really shitty family where her father raped her and all sorts of horrible shit. How is that for comparing her to myself and feeling that I'm less favored.
You get my drift?
And I definitely like how you inserted the last bits about the HBO documentary and all. I'm all for whining but half of the time, the stuff that we complain about makes no sense compared to what other people are going through. I was put in check the other day, my car was jerking and I felt like 'gosh, I need a new car. Getting really tired of mine'...lil pity party, and at the next light I saw a man carrying his tired son/nephew on his back in 90 degree weather. I definitely felt quite blessed in my air conditioned and comfy car, issues and all.

The end.
How's that for my longest ever comment on the Taynement blog?

MPB said...

This topic is slightly amusing to me, since my name means God's favor :) Have I been favored? In many aspects of my life I have felt unduly blessed so yes. Mgbeks says it best. People seem "favored" but until you have truly lived their life and seen that no negative/bad stuff hasn't happened to them, it's hard to truly know. We are all different with unique purposes in life, so it make sense (to me anyways) that the way we experience life will be different, with different ranges of good and bad experiences. Personally, in some situations, I have found that a person with all sorts of good experiences can often inspire me to be hopeful. Also, that person that is going through bad things inspires feelings of charity, gratitude in me. So, these two differently "favored" people affect my life positively. Are the 2 concepts mutually exclusive of "destiny" and "self acts"? I don't think so. It's a mix, element of luck and destiny and your own hard work.

Kate said...

*side eye* YOU KNOW WHY I'M SIDE-EYEING YOU!!!

Anyway... It also says in the bible that God does NOT show favorites..so i guess it depends on the context.

I know that somethings "appear" to come easier for some people than for others. But i honestly believe that it takes a lot of hard work and it also depends on the path people have chosen to take to arrive at their own "success".

I don't believe in luck..i believe that if you know your calling (religiously and nonreligiously)...and you work towards accomplishing it..eventually you'll get there.

Religiously..it might take one person a lot longer to get to where they want to than others. It might be more difficult...it might not even happen..but like you said...it's about the moments...good or bad that build your character, strengthen your faith..etc..

The nitty-gritty tales of a housewife said...

HE allows rain & sun to fall & shine both on the righteous & wicked!...just that am not happy HE visits the sins of our fore fathers upon their off -springs..up to the 4th generation! ..what we did not know about..ALAS! HE IS GOD...i am always begging HIM to FORGIVE all sins past & present so that my kids don't suffer for what they no NOTHING about..it really gets me!....*sigh*!

MPB said...

@Kate. What part of the Bible does it say God does not show favorites???? Nutty J clearly showed us from the book of exodus that he does punish children fro teh sins of their ancestors...