Thursday, October 17, 2013

What is the biggest lesson you have learned in Marriage?

I know I haven't had randoms in a while but men, life is on a long ting right now with me so my thoughts have been everywhere but not just here. I did have a random question I decided to take one step further. My title says it - What is the biggest lesson you have learned in marriage? I asked a whole bunch of my friends who are married. I should mention all the people I asked are in marriages that are less than 5 years old. The first 3 people I asked all said the same thing - "patience". So, ladies and gentlemen, find your patience! As impatient as I am, Lord knows I need his healing powers in this area. Anyways, below are the answers that I received. Hope you enjoy or find a nugget or two.


"As a newlywed, I would say being supportive and exhibiting being supportive is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from marriage thus far (closely following the need for an abundance of patience and the importance of communicating and solidifying unified ambitions).  Many times couples fail to be the cheerleader one another needs.  When I say cheerleader, I don’t mean the transient “you can do it!” and “go you!” but rather I mean demonstrating support by getting involved.  I find I have greater satisfaction in pursuing (and accomplishing) personal targets/goals when my husband takes an interest in them and participates in making sure they are realized. Likewise it is extremely disheartening when he fails to do so. He would certainly say the same from his perspective. Support, although seemingly trivial, is vital in cementing a sense of genuine partnership and love in a relationship"

"Till death do us part is a loooooooooooooooong contract"

"You are going to have to do a bunch shit that makes NO sense to you... but seem to matter a great deal to her"

"When she comes to me with a problem, she is rarely ever looking for a solution. Instead she is looking for pampering. That is one of the hardest things to have to adapt to"

"You can think it, but you don't have to speak it. Holding your tongue is way more important than honesty"

"Press reset and pick your battles. Leave hurts, anger etc behind and start each day like the day you got married"

"I can finally understand why people get divorced. Marriage is and can be sweet but there are times that you're like wtf is this and if you don't marry your friend, you're screwed"

"Choosing your battles and understanding that no one is perfect, including me"

"Don't do it"

"Start the way you want to finish and don't lose your identity"

"Keep my mouth shut"

"When we are wrong we say I'm sorry. It clears the air so fast and restores peace. We say thank you a lot for the big and small things, makes each person feel appreciated"

Okay I think these are all the quotes. I collected all these a while ago and just didn't post. Anyways, have any faves? Married folk please feel free to add any in the comment section. Have a wonderful weekend guys!

7 comments:

mizchif said...

WEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Separate comment window.
Patience is a virtue.....that i LACK!
My impatience is legendary. I will flip at the slightest. It's on my list of things i'm working on. Oh and the fact that i don't know how to apologise.

Love the honesty of the quotes, especially that one about the wife just needing pampering and not a solution. Says so much about how different both sexes are, while men are more focused on finding a solution, us females just want plenty of sympathy sometimes.

Marriage is not a joke, you and one person for the rest of your lives.....ko easy.

Berry Dakara said...

Marriage is scary. I know mine is coming up very soon, but still.

Tega said...

Communication...talk,talk,talk A LOT!...it will never get old and resolution comes faster that way.

Timing: I've learnt to not always speak at the point of my anger or irritation. Time gives me perspective on what's really important. So while I do eventually get my point across, it doesn't have to be all serious-like. We can really just laugh

But then again...I'm a juvie..ask me after year 5...lol

Toinlicious said...

"don't do it" cracked me up.

I love: "Choosing your battles and understanding that no one is perfect, including me"

and: "I can finally understand why people get divorced. Marriage is and can be sweet but there are times that you're like wtf is this and if you don't marry your friend, you're screwed"

I like Tega's take too. Forever is a really long time

Joxy said...

Not necessarily things I've learnt, just general advice...Marriage is not about being right. It is about team effort, not contesting against each other. You both have flaws, work on getting rid of your own, instead of concentrating on the other's. And don't think you can change your spouse. Real change only comes from volition, because your spouse wants to, not is compelled to.Don't report your spouse to your parents, you might forgive and forget, they never will. Lastly, prayer is invaluable.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm....all very interesting and I can say, the list of do's and dont's is probably not exhaustive and even when you know these things, reminders are great. For example: do not speak on the subject of a quarrel but speak - communication is key; be patient with your spouse - their thoughts/feelings/opinions don't always have to make sense to you; be sensitive - while opening your heart to others (purely and innocently), remember the one to whom your heart belongs; and be warm and happy - don't let the stress of the outside world affect the love (including physical!) you show your spouse at home.

Original Mgbeke said...

LMAO @ "don't do it".
Also: "Till death do us part is a loooooooooooooooong contract"

Pretty interesting perspectives.