Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Tales About Nigeria - Part 5

Hi guys, thanks for reading the series. This is the final part in the series. Thank you so much to the contributor. I have no other contributors so this is also the end of the Naij series. It was fun while it lasted!

Here's the last post:

They arrive at a hotel in Surulere. The hotel was full of ashawo prostitutes and more familiar faces from the dinner. They walked into the restaurant and sitting down were two men wearing suits. As soon as the guy sat down, the men began to tell the guy his life story. The guy was in shock, how did they know all these things? He thought to blame PA, but there was no time for the PA to tell the men in suits everything that was discussed at the previous meeting. 

One of the men in a suit asked the guy if he still wanted to be rich and powerful. The guy thought about it briefly, then nodded his head. They told him that all he had to do was come back to them with two million naira by next week and he will be granted the power. The guy asked, "I have never seen 2 million naira in my life, how will I get that money to give it to you by next week?" The other guy in the suit brought out a bowl of what appeared to be slimy indomie. He told him that if he eats this food, he will find ways to get the money by any means and bring it to them. He explained that in order for him to get the riches and power that he wants, he must continue to eat that food, give them money, and keep his ways to himself. 

The guy looked at the indomie, looked at the personal assistant, looked at the two men in suits, and devoured the bowl of indomie. The following week, one of the guys friends from the village said that he was sending him money to buy a car in Lagos. The friend explained that the car was 2.5 million naira and he would send the full money to him so that he can have the car by this weekend. The guy just knew that it was his opportunity to get the money for the men in suits. So as soon as he received the credit alert, he arranged a meeting with the men in the suits and PA. 

The guy explained to them that he had the money, but he stole it from his friend that wanted to buy a car. The men in suits told him that he shouldn't worry, that once he eats this next bowl of food, his friend will be angry with him but he will not have the courage to confront him about it. The guy gave the 2 million to the men in suits. One of the guys in the suit brought out a bowl of slimy indomie for the guy to eat. He asked the guy, "what is your heart's desire?" The guy answered him, "I want to be rich and powerful." They explained to him that it takes time, but if he is able to bring 7 million naira, not only will he find ways to build businesses to make himself rich, but he will also have the power to control the lives of people around him.

This greatly intrigued the guy, and he asked them what he needed to do in order to get the 7 million naira. They told him that more and more people will continue to give him money for favors and he must keep the money for himself. These people will never have the courage to confront him because of the fear they have for him. Once he has the money complete, they will arrange for another meeting. 

It only took him one month to gather the 7 million to give to the men in suits. During this time he stole money from his brother, his mother, and some of his close friends from the village. All of these people were angry with him, but never approached him about it. In fact, even though they were angry with him, they still spoke and carried on with the guy as if nothing happened. During the meeting with the men in suits, the guy explained to them how his month has been and how he felt powerful. One of the men in suits again brought out a bowl of indomie and told him that once he eats the indomie, that he will be able to open businesses and people will continue to fear him as he becomes more and more successful. This greatly excited the guy and he ate the indomie. 

Once he finished, the men in suits told him that from now on, once a month, they guy will need to pay them 5 million naira to maintain the life he will live. If he needs anything specifically, he should call them and they will tell him what he needs to do for it to come true. They told the guy that he was now some form of a wizard. They told him that he should forget about his soul, and continue to live the rich and powerful life that he has always wanted. The men in suits then got up and left the meeting. 

CRAZY STORY RIGHT?! Yeah I know, what on earth is going on in Nigeria?! Don't worry about this story though, I made it up... or did I? hehe. Perhaps I may have embellished or changed some details a bit here and there (You want make dem find me?!), but what is not made up is the fact that this very thing is actually going on in Nigeria. We all make fun and say how ridiculous Nollywood movies are but you will be amazed how close to true they are, especially when it comes to the juju/jazz storylines. We live in a country that is pretty much a "everyman for themselves" one. Combine that with greed and desperation and stories like this one are a dime a dozen. Ask people you know in Nigeria, I am sure this won't be so strange to them.  All I am saying is years on social media you see someone go from tweets like, "eh sexi gal, kfb," to "God is good!" in the driver's side of an X6 BMW. Makes you really wonder what, where, when, why, and how these people come up and "make it", so fast. It's always so sudden and drastic! The lesson here is, be careful who you envy, you have no idea what that person's story is.