Monday, October 24, 2016

Loneliness

I watch this show called 90 Day Fiance. It is not meant to be hilarious but it is. It's basically a show about Americans that fall in love with people who aren't Americans and live in their country. They apply for a Fiance visa and when they get it and come over to America, they have 90 days to get married before they have to leave.

It's hilarious because it's hard to believe what you are watching. Some of these pairings are obvious scams but the American in the relationship can't see it. We have had a couple where the guy was like in his 60's and he married a 19 year old Filipino. Bear in mind he imported his ex wife from the Phillipines ans she left him. We have another couple who has been married 3 times and this is his 4th and of course because Naija no dey carry last. We have a Yoruba demon who actually catfished his now fiancee and even told her that the mother of his son was dead amongst other lies. He still proposed and she said yes, which brings me to the point of my post.

You hear so many stories in life and so many scenarios on social media that you can't help but ponder. I think I have come to the conclusion that marriages nowadays aren't failing mostly because people aren't trying as hard but more because they got married for the wrong reasons in the first place. You see so many things that seem like obvious red flags to everyone but the couple involved and you hear but we love each other. Same applies to staying or extending an already dead relationship. Why does this happen? I think its loneliness.

If you know me long enough, you will know that I think the actual concept of marriage is so bizarre but hey it's how we are wired. Humans long to belong to someone and to find their person and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, again it is how we are wired. But that longing, I believe sometimes leads us to bad decision making - justifying bad behavior, landing in a bed you shouldn't be in, staying in an unhealthy situation all in a bid to not be alone.

There are people who genuinely fear being alone/single. Like real fear. Everyone has different fears, so I can't knock them. But isn't it so amazing how something like that can have such a huge effect in our lives? To the point of being okay with being in a mediocre relationship, just as long as they aren't alone.

I have lost my train of thought and I really hope this doesn't come off as me bashing people but I watched Princess on Love and Hip Hop tonight list a whole bunch of nonsense and nasty things she and Ray have done to each other and yet they went ahead with a wedding and that just set something off in my head like hooww? or whyyy? and maybe things are a lot more complicated than I realize but my main point is more about me marveling on how powerful the need to be paired off is that strong a force in our lives.

What do yall think?

3 comments:

yujubee said...

90dayfiance? I'm tired . I conclude it has to be beyond loneliness to been naive. Like how can people not see through all that BS. Scripted maybe? Cos I think I tweeted something to that effect of which the guy on marriage number 4 even tweeted something back at me.

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Moringa India said...

Excellent Article