Good Family

I was talking to a friend who lives in Nigeria and she brought up how, in the quest to marry her off she was set up with a guy. When she asked why they thought they'd be a good match, she was told he is Igbo and "from a good home" and that's all you really need. Social media people always type up essays implying not having a good relationship with a parent ruins your dating life and it is oh so important and many other things along those lines.

From a good home.

I've heard this statement so much. What does this even mean? Why does it hold so much weight? Should it hold so much weight? Is it fair to judge a person by that?

Even though I hear it so much among Nigerians, I know it is not strictly a Nigerian thing. But focusing on Nigerians who are the champions of presenting the best face while suffering behind it, how do we define a good home?

If a person has a parent that's an addict is it fair to judge what the kid is? If a person loses a parent early and the structure balance is a little shaken, are they still from a good home? Don't get me wrong, there are many variables in a family structure that affect the personality of a person and who  they grow to be, in relationships but is it fair to judge what a person has shown you vs. what you think they will be based on their family?

Personally,a good home would mean how the person in question relates to their family and how the family as a whole interact. Are they supportive? Are they loving? because you can be separated and still provide these to your kid. Good home doesn't mean being intact with no divorces and let's be honest, that's usually what people mean.

We don't get to pick the homes we come from so...I dunno. What is a good home to you? What do you think people read: Nigerians mean when they say it?

Comments

yujubee said…
*sigh
I have plenty to say but I am tired. But I will just say from first hand experience it’s just stupid cos I know someone close to me married to a “we know family “ same village and shit and it is fraustrating me , because save for that ,said dude has nothing, the family too nothing. Tchwww. And by nothing I don’t mean money, common sense and ambition self.
Was just talking about this with the hubby, and we agreed that if that was him presenting as that, my family would have made it difficult or not even agreed bcos he is “ onye mba” , Igbo for foreigner, which is just from a different state o, and family is not known, raised by a widowed mom since high school, but he presented well as compared to the one that family is know, let me just shake my head and say that bs is what it is bs
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