Average

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Sometime ago, I random'd how it is a special type of painment when you feel like you are doing due diligence and putting all the work and there is nothing to show for it.

I think a different dimension to that painment is the day you discover you are just average.

I was watching awards being given out at work and I suddenly realized, I am never one of those people. In my professional career, I don't think I have ever been one of the super stars. Just the diligent, well liked, get things done worker. But not the superstar.

I have theories on why that might be but yea...

It's a funny thing, when I was younger, I truly thought the world was my oyster. I was so tenacious. I got an internship on sheer tenacity and got hired without ever being seen in person. On a regular day, I actually do think I am exceptional. I consider myself intelligent, I know a little bit about everything and can hold conversations on a number of things. I am a curious person and try to learn anything I can, I have drive, I take risks and almost always put to action things I think about. I also learn quickly (geez this sounds like a resume), so I seemingly have all the ingredients.

But I am not sure if these things translate professionally or if they even matter. Maybe there is more to being a stand out worker or maybe I just haven't found the right fit. But it'll be nice to find out. Per usual I could be being hard on myself, who knows? I guess I have two choices. Find out the secret to being a superstar or accept my mediocrity and be at peace with it.

Thanks for listening as always and I hope you guys are having a great summer especially as it winds down.

You guys say a prayer that Friday Randoms makes its way back someday! haha.

Comments

Berry Dakara said…
Funny enough, our department's monthly review was posted today and I felt a little sad that I didn't get a mention for anything. I think I'm slacking at work :(
8/22/2019 3:06 PM
TheRustGeek said…
Interestingly - triggered by a milestone birthday - having harboured similar thoughts recently I've concluded I haven't been as aggressive with switching jobs and speaking up for myself as some of my other peers have been... Guess most work places aren't exactly designed around supporting less extroverted team members...
8/24/2019 11:48 AM
neuyogi said…
I feel the same way...or like behind my peers in my med school class. My brother swears by a life/career coach.
8/25/2019 7:20 PM
Ife.O said…
Whew. This is an interesting one. And I don't know you that much, sooo this can't be seen as mere platitudes, but I really feel like you're being hard on yourself. I think it depends on the metric a LOT of time, and I also think sometimes we are not used to the mundane, no? I mean, the paragraph where you describe yourself says a LOT about your character that sometimes people at work are to busy to celebrate. But really, I feel your frustrations becauseI sometimes I find myself asking on the same question. I think we should just celebrate ourselves more.
9/01/2019 4:16 PM
Taynement said…
@ife.o - thank you so much for your comment. tbh the lines are blurry as to what is real and what is me being hard on myself. But I never want to live a delusional life so who knows?
9/01/2019 8:36 PM
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