Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Do you remember?

I watch this show called Marriage Bootcamp on WE. It's a marriage/relationship bootcamp for reality stars. It's run by a married couple who are marriage counselors and they put the couples through many exercises to help them dig deep and communicate and try to solve the issues with their partners.

In one of the exercises, each person was asked if they remember a single event in their lives that shaped who they are and how they are in past and present relationships.

I thought that that was a very deep question and proceeded to ask a bunch of people I knew (and learned that people either don't like being asked deep questions or don't like digging deep into their lives). A lot of people told me that they couldn't think of one single event, which is fair. Some examples from the show were the death of a mom that caused him to feel guilt and made him shut down and now he tends to notice he shuts down a lot in relationships, someone had a mom break trophies she had earned in anger and she remembered seeing her as the enemy and she tends to look at her boyfriends as the enemy and if her mom could do that to her, what guarantee is there that they won't so she is guarded and feels unlovable.

And so I pose the question to you: Can you think of a single event that has shaped who you are and manifests itself in how you behave in relationships?

2 comments:

LadyNgo said...

That is a really good question. I'm still sitting here trying to think if anything sticks out in particular. I know there are things that have happened that I've convinced myself will inform my decision making in certain situations that haven't come to pass yet.

If anything, I will say having guy friends that are dirtbags (and even some that genuinely aren't but do dirtbag things) and seeing how they think and act has made me very cautious and guarded with my relationships.

yujubee said...

I cannot think of a single event, but I always relate some of my actions or attitudes to things due to events from my childhood. E.g, I am not an affectionate person at all, saying I love you is a struggle ( I'm learning) but my husband and kids are, so it's a struggle and I explain to him I wasn't raised like that, so that made him understand a little,I still forget sometimes and not hug my kids back (*facepalm). Yea, but no single life altering event. Nope.
Hope that answers the question sha.