Let me backtrack a little. Something I have also said before is that I don't believe that being a positive, happy go lucky person guarantees or brings you good things. It just means you can handle things better and it's also just a better attitude to have in this tough world we live in.
I was in a discussion where people vehemently disagreed with me on this and said when you pray hard and think positively about something and believe it then it comes to pass. Which is all great and dandy but I've thought about it and whatever hope there was in me believing it, it was dashed when my mom passed away. I don't think I believed anything harder or was so sure about someone pulling through. So that's where I stand and I kinda don't like feeling guilty or made to feel guilty for having that stance.
Anyways, it brings me to the point where people always end things with at the end of the day let the will of God be done. I can roll with that. I also roll with not understanding what the cotdamn big picture is but He knows better, abi? The long and short of my story is it took me some time to get to this place. I now accept his will is ultimately what matters. It was funny that while going back and forth in my mind I came across a lot of bible meditations and verses that talked about accepting the will of God.
And then the crux of it, when I was thinking of what to post...sometimes when I think or miss my mom, I go through my old emails and read emails we sent to each other because we emailed a lot and what did I run into yesterday but this...coincidence, huh? I can just hear preaching to me and me saying "yes mommy, i've heard" Love you momma.
Here's what I came across from her:
Finding God's Will
By Elaine Creasman
As I have been facing a difficult challenge lately, I find myself crying out to God, "What should I do?" Which way to go seems unclear. I want to do what's right, but every choice seems to have its drawbacks.
Slipping into negative emotions and negative thinking makes things even murkier.
"Please show me Your will and Your way," I have prayed.
What God has done is to reveal to me the next step to take. He doesn't show me the complete picture of where He's leading me and how He will bring me to the other side.
The key is to believe He will show me His will, and He will carry me through this just as He has brought me through every other trial in my life.
Discovering God's will is tied in to being still. The Word says,
"Be still and know that I am God" Psalm 46:10 ESV.
When I forget that He is God or fail to act that way, I try to plow ahead doing whatever comes to mind. That makes matters worse.
When I embrace fully what my Sunday School teacher has been repeating lately, "He is God, and I am not," I can trust Him to lead me.
When going through hard times, being still before the Lord to discover His will can seem impossible. It's especially challenging when the enemy is bombarding my mind with thoughts that bring on moments or multiple moments of doubt, fear, and unbelief.
One of the reasons it can be rough discovering God's will in difficult times is that I ask myself, "How can this thing that's happening to me possibly be God's will?" and "How can a loving God allow this?"
The faith side of me says, "God does allow bad things, but He brings good out of them—if I submit to Him and trust Him with the outcome."
I confess that too often I try to stay in control and straighten out a difficult situation or a heart-tearing relationship conflict on my own. That doesn't work.
I notice when I try to do it on my own, love does not lead the way.
One thing I've become ever more certain of is this: "Love is always God's will and God's way." If I'm unwilling to love, this shows that I have not been fully set free. I'm moving back into bondage.
When I love even though others have hurt me, God is present and working. The other person may not change in every way I desire, but God changes my heart to become more like His. That's what trials are for—to transform me into the image of Christ. Changing me is God's will.
As I've been submitting to Him with an attitude of, "Lord, do what You need to do in me to make me more like You," the hardness in my heart is melting away. I'm embracing what Jesus said,
"Not my will, but Yours be done." Luke 22:42 ESV
There is great joy in discovering God's will. There is even greater joy when I'm willing to embrace it and live it. I'm excited to see what God has in store in the days, weeks, and months ahead. He is so good.
Have a great week guys.