Women and Weight
I have spoken about this here and there in some of my randoms and it had been swirling in my head but then this just popped up on my ipad and I figured it was a sign to get my thoughts on this topic on here.
It's true. Much like talking about boys/relationships, its almost guaranteed that where women are gathered there will be talk of weight or the new diet fad. We all have our body issues but I now call out my friends who are publicly self deprecating and calling out the body parts they hate. Its not kind to yourself and it makes people uncomfortable. Let it be a private journey to loving yourself. Anyways, I clicked on the link and read the article and I agree with a lot of it
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/08/opinion/sunday/women-dieting-wellness.html
"I called this poisonous relationship between a body I was indoctrinated to hate and food I had been taught to fear “wellness.” This was before I could recognize wellness culture for what it was — a dangerous con that seduces smart women with pseudoscientific claims of increasing energy, reducing inflammation, lowering the risk of cancer and healing skin, gut and fertility problems. But at its core, “wellness” is about weight loss. It demonizes calorically dense and delicious foods, preserving a vicious fallacy: Thin is healthy and healthy is thin"
A lot of us (no thanks to society) tie our self worth to our weight and it's so infuriating because that same pressure is not applied to men. I read something once that said how most of us are charging towards feminism but not rejecting the part about our bodies and our weight that probably stemmed from a patriarchical school of thought. We don't appreciate the changes and what it goes through, we spend most of our lives beating ourselves up.
For those that watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you may know that Lisa Rinna's daughter suffers from an eating disorder. There is an episode where she says as a mom you can't help but wonder if you played a part in it and I wanted to scream at my TV. Not to mommy shame but Rinna clearly has issues with food and won't eat this and won't eat that and I will only allow myself this with that once a year. What do you think it does to a little girl watching this as she grows up? If all you see constantly is calorie counting and punishing and scolding for eating "that bad food", you absorb that and build your own unhealthy food relationship. I have always told myself that whatever issues I may have with my body or food, I will figure that shit out before I have a daughter because I would hate to pass this vicious cycle down.
It's not an easy thing to do but I wish we could all magically have a healthy relationship with food, love our bodies but alas life isn't that simple. The lady in the article mentions that she will probably never love her body and that's okay because she thinks it is unrealistic.
"I no longer define food as whole or clean or sinful or a cheat. It has no moral value. Neither should my weight, though I’m still trying to separate my worth from my appearance. They are two necklaces that have gotten tangled over the course of my 35 years, their thin metal chains tied up in thin metal knots. Eventually, I will pry them apart"
As the fight for women progresses in this day and age, I hope we find a way to get past this issue also. The quote above is what I wish for everyone. Life really is too short to spend so much time dieting and obsessing over weight. In the grand scheme of things, when you are lying in your coffin noone is going to be checking for your weight then.
Am I overthinking this? What do you guys think?
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/08/opinion/sunday/women-dieting-wellness.html
"I called this poisonous relationship between a body I was indoctrinated to hate and food I had been taught to fear “wellness.” This was before I could recognize wellness culture for what it was — a dangerous con that seduces smart women with pseudoscientific claims of increasing energy, reducing inflammation, lowering the risk of cancer and healing skin, gut and fertility problems. But at its core, “wellness” is about weight loss. It demonizes calorically dense and delicious foods, preserving a vicious fallacy: Thin is healthy and healthy is thin"
A lot of us (no thanks to society) tie our self worth to our weight and it's so infuriating because that same pressure is not applied to men. I read something once that said how most of us are charging towards feminism but not rejecting the part about our bodies and our weight that probably stemmed from a patriarchical school of thought. We don't appreciate the changes and what it goes through, we spend most of our lives beating ourselves up.
For those that watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you may know that Lisa Rinna's daughter suffers from an eating disorder. There is an episode where she says as a mom you can't help but wonder if you played a part in it and I wanted to scream at my TV. Not to mommy shame but Rinna clearly has issues with food and won't eat this and won't eat that and I will only allow myself this with that once a year. What do you think it does to a little girl watching this as she grows up? If all you see constantly is calorie counting and punishing and scolding for eating "that bad food", you absorb that and build your own unhealthy food relationship. I have always told myself that whatever issues I may have with my body or food, I will figure that shit out before I have a daughter because I would hate to pass this vicious cycle down.
It's not an easy thing to do but I wish we could all magically have a healthy relationship with food, love our bodies but alas life isn't that simple. The lady in the article mentions that she will probably never love her body and that's okay because she thinks it is unrealistic.
"I no longer define food as whole or clean or sinful or a cheat. It has no moral value. Neither should my weight, though I’m still trying to separate my worth from my appearance. They are two necklaces that have gotten tangled over the course of my 35 years, their thin metal chains tied up in thin metal knots. Eventually, I will pry them apart"
As the fight for women progresses in this day and age, I hope we find a way to get past this issue also. The quote above is what I wish for everyone. Life really is too short to spend so much time dieting and obsessing over weight. In the grand scheme of things, when you are lying in your coffin noone is going to be checking for your weight then.
Am I overthinking this? What do you guys think?
Comments
So growing up my dad was one of those Nigerian man who would greet people with "AH, you've really put on weight and you haven't even found a husband yet" He used to call my bigger friends names like "rotund" and amorphous" we were only in secondary school. He also felt the need to comment on my mother's weight regularly. The fact that i don't have an eating disorder is a miracle. I think my sister might could have a bit of a size obsession that is related to that though.
I can't say that i'm all live and let live when it comes to weight, other peoples weight even, but more and more i'm learning to mind my business.
I also want to say i've come to a place where i fully love my body but i still have work to do, however i'm much better than i used to be. I still work out religiously but losing weight isn't my goal and seeing the same number on the scale doesn't bother me anymore, so yea, progress. In the end the important thing is to be happy.
- listen to a podcast that helps me sort out these feelings
- appreciate and love and dress my body as it is now
- no longer use words like "cheat day, diet". I really don't want my daughter to hear those words in the context of weight loss. I say this because "diet" is actually a benign word like Mediterranean diet, Nigerian diet etc
- only discuss fitness and nutrition and food to people that inquire or share a mutual interest
Nice Anon