I’m No Fashionista….

I know this is a tad bit long. I apologise in advance....

Okay as I write this, I am writing this because I want to say it out loud. Like an alcoholic admits to being alcoholic, Taynement is admitting that she ain’t no fashionista and doesn’t know if she ever will be and is sorta ok with that.

I can’t decide if I am a girly girl or not but all I know is when it comes to fashion/makeup/shoes/accessories etc, I am a work in progress. Anyone who knows me knows how I find shopping, shoes and styling exhausting. It just doesn’t interest me .Let me give you a visual – I am walking with my friend and I guess we pass a shoe sale display and she just gasps, “ooooh, shooesssss”. I don’t even know if I noticed that display sha, I had already past it. Now, if it had been a poster of some musician or a movie or something, I would have drooled. That’s the scenario, I play in my head when I am with my friends and they are drooling, I just imagine the item is a celeb or something lol. Don’t get me wrong, I like looking nice and I will laugh at a person who decides to step out the house looking like a clown but lately especially in the Nigerian community, it just seems like everyone and their mama has their own style and with Facebook it’s like an everyday red carpet. Someone once made a comment, that most Nigerian girls like to be fashionable but don’t have a sense of style, to which someone else responded with, Why does it have to be fashionable or stylish, why can’t we just wear clothes to cover our nakedness? I said a very loud Amen to that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you, don’t worry about anyone else blah blah. I won’t lie, I feel pressure. Left to me alone, I will gallivant the world in Jeans and babytee/tshirt and ‘silpers’ (flip-flops) all day long.

Back in college, it was all good. Everyone jejely went to Rave, Ross and the likes. Life was good. Then as time went on, I started noticing and hearing foreign things – Mac makeup, using brushes to apply the loose powder (biko, what happened to pouring white or brown powder for palm, slap am small and rub and shine ya face :D) eyebrow waxing, Rave was a no-no, doing match match with your clothes and shoes was taboo. I felt cold sweat. Up until then, I never wore foundation, never did my eyebrows and never wore a dress or skirt to a party and till today I still carry white powder in my purse, Sue me! So began my quest to catch up with the times.

Before I continue, I have to mention that I am a HBG – Heavy Bottomed Girl i.e. my lower body is slightly larger than normal and it decided not to have a meeting with my upper body, which is slightly smaller, compared to my lower body (lol, did that make sense?).
Sidebar: My regular tailor and alteration tailor (regular customer I am) are both Asian. In your best accent, here are some of their comments on my figure:
“Why your stomach so flat and hip so big?”
“You play foot-u ball”
“I can’t alter this, it’s because your body. Hip so big!”
“Maybe you need to exercise leg”
“You can try to lose weight”

I swear I am not making this up. I usually go through meditation first to amp up my self-esteem before I go to them. I don suffer! Lol!

So shopping is tedious for me (and many other black women). Being the impatient person that I am, heck I used to cry shopping for pants in high school while I called myself a freak of nature (I was confused jo, didn’t know most black people were built like that. In naija they just called me fat, here they were saying stuff like thick and apple bottom). I may not know much about fashion but my #1 rule is Know Thy Body and Dress Accordingly. Everything isn’t meant for all body types, so I try to know my limits on what to wear and what not to wear. Personally, my goal is usually not to appear bigger than I am because I am self-conscious about my hips.

Anyways, fast forward to present time, a dear friend of mine ALWAYS went with me when I needed to shop and would direct me on what to wear, right down to the earrings (don’t get me started on jewelry/accessories). Right now, as she says I think I have graduated. I hold my own and I look presentable most of the time. Even though it involves a bunch of mass frantic picture messages to friends to yay or nay, I can shop on my own now. I now thread my wonderfully arched eyebrows, I no longer wear only black, I can put on eye shadow without looking half crazed. Shoes still equal pain to me. I still get intimidated and I am in awe when I see how other people put their outfits together e.g. fellow blogger*Diane*, who I think just rocks outfits I couldn’t even conjure up in fantasy land. But it’s okay, same way everyone doesn’t know who won Best Picture in 2003, is the same way everyone can’t be a fashionista and I embrace it. Have a wonderful wonderful weekend, Bloggers!


Original Mgbeke said…
Hahahaha, I enjoyed reading this. I don't think that everyone is meant to be a 'fashionista', as long as you hold your own like you said. LOL @ the white powder in ya purse, that I gorra see!

Pwahahahah I remember those 'princess' and 'angel' hoodies that we used to get from Rave and Rainbow.

P.S:-I don't even know who won best picture in 2009 sef.. :o
MPB said…
Lol this post reminds me of when I wrote about "hair", just because of how much thought can go into a topic that some may not think about often. It's amazing how we get sucked in without realizing it. Those firsts - 1st shaved legs, 1st lipgloss, 1st foundation, 1st eyebrows, i remember all vividly lol. But fashion for me, is like the arts; diferent genres, different kinds...just different for everyone. Overall I am glad everyone is not a fashionista, the pressure would have been something else.
Kate said…
come o..this diana chick be on point with her steez. LOL..like mgbeks said... not everyone is suppposed to be a fashionista and aint nothing wrong with jeans and a t-shirt...that's my wardrobe :D
MPB said…
oooh new colors...nice
chi-grace said…
Ha Ha! Nothing do you jare!
I am not that crazy about shopping myself. I go shopping and then come back after 5hours with just one bag! My boo accuses me of loving shopping but he doesn't know how exhausting and inconveniencing I find it! If only that one item beckoned to me the instant I hit the shopping mall....
HeavyFeathers said…
Okay.. I could not stop laughing at "maybe you need to exercise leg".. Hilarious.. white powder, well I still have loads from Avon so I feel you on that tho I got sucked into the whole "MAC" revolution recently.. oh well, age.
*Diane* said…
lmao.Thank you for the mention:-D. this was such a funny post ( carrying white powder in your bag) But i feel you. I'm all about dressing for yourself. If jeans and a tee is your cup of tea and that's what you feel good in, then by all means do it!!!! lol
Reverence said…
LOL, at a fellow diane stalker. the chick is wow!

I look at people that dress cute and tell myself someday.

P.S i have seen your facebook pics, chica, and i beg to differ.
Anonymous said…
lol, hear hear on this. I used to be like this, said i used to cos now i tolerate shopping. before, i would wait in the car while you go do my shopping. People get shocked when they hear a "female" does not like shopping.

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