Thursday, August 23, 2012

The Ev/Ocho fiasco

I know this is stale news now but I had mentioned that I was going to do a post on this, so better late than never.

So, unless you were under a rock you must have heard of the domestic violence situation between reality star, Evelyn Lozada and football player Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson. The alleged story is that they were in a car, (a smart car I might add, have you seen how tiny dem things are?) and Evelyn spies a receipt for condoms, we can assume they don't use that because Mrs Johnson confronts him, they get into an argument, he allegedly head butts her, she runs to her neighbour's house, who in turn calls the cops and has Chad arrested.

Now, if you don't watch Basketball Wives, I have to give you a rundown on Evelyn. Evelyn, especially last season is a bully. She was in a 10yr relationship with a retired NBA player, Antoine Walker, was supposed to get married but called it off last minute. She has a daughter. She's one of those loud, cussing, "I keep it real" women. To be fair, she does have her soft moments but those are overshadowed waaay more by her anger issues. Last season, she threw a bottle of wine at another woman, she lept on a table to whoop another woman's ass, cussed out someone for calling the cops for being slapped by another woman, the list goes on and on. If you don't know Chad, Chad is like that grown man that never grew up, forever always joking and never being serious - at least not on tv. He had one of those flavor of love type dating shows, looking for "love". He has 4 kids. At some point, changed his legal name to Ochocinco as a nod to his jersey number.(He changed it back to Johnson, so Evelyn could have a proper last name).

Anyone with half a brain, could tell that this relationship was doomed. Almost everyone was convinced it was some kind of publicity stunt that had lasted way too long. They met on twitter (of course, the stomping ground for people now cuz it's too hard to meet people in real life anymore lol) and we saw when she went to go visit him for the first time in Cincinnati (they slept together that first time). We saw their relationship play out, how they keep trading barbs at each other and he kept joking that he was marrying her for her money. I think the one line that stood out to me was when he told her (as a joke of course :/) that "she was like that last pizza slice that nobody wanted". The babe laughed sha but whatever, they got married.

Ok, now fast forward to this incident and my biggest surprise has been the reaction of my peers to this situation. I am of the belief that noone and I mean noone deserves to be a victim of domestic violence - man or woman. I never thought being a celebrity played a part in gathering favor in situations like this but I think it does. I did a quick survey and asked some people their thoughts on the situation and I got a lot of "I feel bad for him, he has lost everything". While yes that is true, it was interesting to see that it wasn't the fact that someone had been hurt to the point of getting stitches. Since when did domestic violence become this casual thing that you should get over? Even when the Rihanna one happened, where that girl was pummelled, it was "Oh she's an island girl, she probably started it etc"

Which leads me to another point. I told a friend that if I have sons, I am raising them to believe that under no circumstance should they hit a woman, if it gets to that point or nearing that point to walk away and my friend said "wow. good luck with that" and I was here wondering if I was stupid in believing that. My friend believes that a man shouldn't hit a woman but if she hits first then she shouldn't be surprised whatever happens next. Which is fine because it's what he believes, I just happen to disagree. I think it is wrong for a woman to hit a man but I think once that happens the man should walk away. Why? Whether he is a celeb or not there's just way too much for him to lose and it is just not worth it. The man always gets the blame and him saying she hit me first won't change the overall picture of a woman with injuries. Only Chad and Evelyn know what happened that night but if it is as it is, dude is waay stronger, he is a football player whatever damage she did on him physically, I couldn't see it but his is on hers.

On the subject of men who beat women. I am of the belief that men who do so don't do it once. Do you agree or not? Also, what if you met a great guy, no reason for concern or anything but then you find out he has a record for domestic violence and he admitted yes he did hit a woman, would that be a deal breaker for you?

I don't agree with all the extra shenanigans Evelyn is trynna pull about being a spokesperson and all because she is making it seem like being beat is some trendy club. Some have said karma is a bitch and they don't fel sorry for her, well if that's how it works the next time something bad happens to someone and I go well you deserve it for whatever bad thing you did before because karma is a bitch. We are all works in progress, noone is perfect. These women have to forever live with the fact that they were beat up or hit by a man they loved, again I don't wish that on anyone. It's a terrible thing that Chad has to lose everything over this incident but just as life works we bear consequences for things done. Again, i wasn't there with them, I don't know if Evelyn is innocent or not seeing as she has a temper. We could blame Evelyn for ruining his life but if he never head butted in the first place and walked away, we wouldn't even be talking about this.

What are your thoughts on the whole situation?

5 comments:

Original Mgbeke said...

Nobody deserves to be beat. Granted, it may be hard for a lot of people to sympathize with Evelyn because of her history of toutishness, but saying that she deserved it or blaming her is crazy. All those clowns talking about 'because of her, he lost everything' need to sit the hell down and stay seated. Did she hold his head and twist it into the headbutt position? They need to cast blame where it is rightly due. Also, the 911 calls claim that he said he doesn't care about his career, so sorry for him. Folks shouldn't be out here supporting domestic violence, and I pray they don't whoop one of these supporter's asses too, so they know how it feels.

As for me meeting a guy with domestic violence history? I'm finna be like boy BYE! Can't take chances there.

Madame Sting said...

I think if a woman hits a man, she should be ready if he decides to hit back. Judge Judy agrees with me. No one should be hitting anyone.

Onakachi said...

I stopped watching "Basketball Wives" because it was hard for me to watch grown women act like children and I definitely didn't like Evelyn. However, I do not think she deserved to be hit. No one does - man or woman. I think that if a woman hits a man, he should swallow his pride and dial 911. He would probably be laughed at but hey, that's better than a criminal record depending on how things go.

I also think that if you believe someone has wonky tendencies that are deal breakers for you, you should not marry them because those wonky tendencies will not evaporate during marriage - I wish Evelyn knew that (per Chad's cheating ways), and Chad too (per Evelyn's attitude).

I can't quite describe the emotion I felt when it was announced that Chad was dropped from his former team. I think I felt sorry cause I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Times are hard.

If I found out that someone had a record for domestic violence. I would sprint away biko. I don't like trouble and I like myself and I don't have the patience to sit and figure out whether or not a change has come in that person's life. Not in a relationship.

leggy said...

i already said my piece on twitter. no one should be hitting anyone. he head butted her, he deserves every thing he gets. there are consequences for our actions plus this is not the first time he has been accused of domestic violence.

mizchif said...

I feel personally subbed by this post Tayne.

Like you said, anybody with brain could see their relationship was headed nowhere, i personally couldn't wait for it to be over, and when i heard about the head butting incident, i personally thought/hoped it was a joke. Like seriously, a head butt, from Chad, a pro baller? Have you seen his head? That's mad harsh.

But......it is just hard for me to sympathize with Ev, finish. And Chad is only getting just desserts for his action(s)

My mother once told me, the day a man raises his hand towards you RUN, don't even wait for the hand to come down or to find out if he will stop midway.