Friday Randoms

Another Friday, Another Weekend! yippee! I get to be home this weekend and I am excited about that. I can finally unpack and clean and buy food for this house and get some things done. It's been a long week but we thank God for the gift of life. I just marathon'd the show Orphan Black and man I have to say it lived up to it's hype. It's such an original concept - well I haven't heard of it before and the actress who plays all the different characters is pretty damn fantastic. All of Season 1 is on On Demand so catch it if you can, it's just 10 episodes. Ok let's random.

I get that Heartbreak sucks and all but man, killing yourself over a guy/girl is some deep stuff. It's never that serious...or maybe it is.

Ladies, do you feel some type of way when you don't have a "toaster"? It seems a lot of people find it strange /hard to believe when a woman doesn't have a toaster. I have also encountered some women who feel they  have to have someone in the wings whether they like them like that or not, it's a sort of ego booster i guess?

I don't really expect anyone to tell me their sex woe tales but based on what I am told, it would appear a good number of my friends are freaky and having fantastic sex, which is a good thing. Everyone should have good sex in their lives.

I read something this week that is a work in progress for me, which is recognizing to treat everyone's problems as such and not disregard/minimize them because it pales in comparison to what I deem problems. Because, to be fair, what I consider problems could be nothing to someone else. Man, it's a hard lesson for me to learn. Very hard.

You know, I would never wish anyone death at all. But with Mandela being in the hospital once again and seeing everyone wanting him to pull through, I kinda wonder the guy is really, really old. All this constant hospital visits have to take a toll on him. He's lived a good life and made a mark on the world, would it be so terrible to wish him peace?

What do you do if you had a great marriage and your spouse dies. After he dies, you find out he/she was cheating on you? Does him/her having a child too from the affair make it worse?

I really don't like stockfish.

Do you think two people have to be in love to get married? I have a preference to be in love with who I marry but seeing as I think love is a fleeting thing am I contradicting myself? I have a couple of guy friends who weren't in love when they got married. I don't know any females though who did, would be interesting to hear their take on it. Personally, I don't think you have to be in love to get married but ehn, what do I know?

Was talking to a married friend of mine and asked why he married his wife, basically why her over everyone else? and he said: "I stayed because I chose not to hurt her. I knew I'd hurt her by leaving and I wouldn't leave unless I absolutely had to and I didn't have a reason to, so I stayed. I told myself unless she gave me a reason to I'd stay as long as she wanted me to. The grass is always greener if u keep looking over  the fence you'll keep jumping lawns"

Sidebar: I agree with the fence part cuz honestly, there will always be someone better than you/your partner but at some point you just have to make a decision and stick with it.

Some other excerpts from our convo:

"We all define love differently but at the end of the day, commitment shows you love someone and if you say you don't love them and you are just committed to them, that is really all marriage is - commitment.

"People always say if you love me why would you cheat on me? The answer is simple - I love you, but I love me first"

"If you marry cos the person gives you butterflies in your tummy, dem butterflies hibernate occassionally.
Marriage is putting your feelings aside and riding it to the end. Unless you have reason to bounce, your feelings
aren't good enough reason to"

So that's all I have for you folks. I would love to hear what you think, especially on the last few, cuz I am sure some of you would disagree with it. Have a lovely weekend and remain blessed!

Also, don't forget -


Berry Dakara said…
#1. I went to and I have to ask: Why do you dislike white dresses? :-S

#2. Toasters = I GOT THIS! Doesn't matter whether I want to get it or not.

#3. Problems are subjective, so keep working at accepting others' issues.

#4. I don't think people have to be in love to be married. They can choose to be committed to each other, and I believe a love can be borne from that commitment.

#5. I've read this book, Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Married, and in it, the author says that those butterflies and OMGI'llDieWithoutHimorHer feeling typically lasts 6 months to 2 years on average. Just a random point.
LadyNgo said…
The only people that seem to give a hoot one way or the other when i don't have toasters are my mother and other men lol. And instead of taking advantage, dudes just sit and ask why i don't have toasters at the moment.

I think there are a lot more people happily having vanilla sex than will ever admit it lol.

Ah man, to find out about cheating after the spouse has died...just seems so horrible. Especially if he seemingly was a good husband and/or father while he was living. I don't even know.

There's lots of reasons people marry for that don't have anything to do with love. As long as your committed, we're compatible and you respect me, we're good. Butterflies and all would be nice but at the end of the day...!

The grass is greener where you water it. If you weren't so busy looking over the fence at the neighbor's grass, your own lawn wouldn't be all shriveled and brown! That's my take on it anyway.
Miss Enigma said…
It will definitely hurt A LOT to find out after your spouse dies that he had an many questions but obviously no answers cos he's gone.

I've slowly learned that love is not enough, but for me personally it needs to be in the equation that equals marriage. Will there be butterflies everyday...nope, does that mean love isn't there nope. Love isn't butterflies.

Love for me is understanding that neither me nor my partner is perfect, but we make each other happy and even when we make each other mad we are willing to work through it and get back to our happy place whether that includes butterflies, or just enjoying sitting next to each other or laughing over something.
yujubee said…
Mtchww, I finished typing this long sermon and mistakenly hit previous button.rubbish.
Anyway, I started orphan black yesterday,its okay, slept off by 2nd be continued.
I cant say I was head over heels in love, but I knew he would make me happy and I was okay with that. And along the way ive come to learn that most times we pay too much attention to stuff that dont matter in the long run.
Gugz said…
I agree with you on Mandela. I've seen this situation way too often where the person is clearly suffering, but their family don't want to let go.

I think love is necessary but not sufficient. Butterflies should be there in the beginning. Yes, they invariably fade. But if you're lucky, and your partner is committed to your relationship and to making you happy, then during the course of your relationship those butterflies will show up every now and then. And remind you why you fell in love with them in the first place.
Ada said…
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ada said…
thats kinda sad what your friend said the only reason he didnt leave was because he didnt want to hurt just dont want to be a convenient choice for someone.

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