[Guest] Friday Randoms

Howdy guys. Hope you guys had a good week. Man, I only worked 3 days this week but it felt like 500. I totally enjoyed my labor day weekend. Me and some college friends of mine spent the long weekend at a resort in Arizona and it was so much fun. Kinda hard to believe that I have known some of these people for about 15 years and even harder to believe that people I partied with now have kids that they are responsible for. Life goes by fast sha! I have another eventful weekend ahead. Meeen, I miss my lay in weekends at home..ok not really but it's almost coming to an end. Fall is round the corner. Can you believe Christmas is 3 months away??!!!!

Today's randoms are by a friend of mine who has guested before (and you guys loved so much). If anyone would like to guest random, please feel free to hit me up. Here we go:

I have come to the considered opinion that Linda Ikeji is a shameless agbaya. Dazzol.  As they say on twitter, “argue on your TL.”

I saw a lady’s tweet over the weekend saying that a “cocksure” guy hollering at a chick without being “a touch nervous is street harassment”. Wondafu!  She also said that the “MERE (emphasis mine) sight of a group of men on the street evokes fear.” Replace men with black and we’d rightly start forming voltron.  It is one thing to rail against entitled men who misbehave, that’s valid because it happens. I’ve seen it and asked the guys to leave the chick alone. But which kin ebolic yans be this one? So without any action whatsoever, a group of men are by definition dangerous brutes? Sigh, my homie Kermit said I should go and buy sugar for the tea he’s making. I can’t abeg. Oro rirun. Shior!

I will never understand why people feel the need to “announce” their departure from social media. If you want to unplug for a bit do so. Whenever I read an “I’ll be leaving Facebook or twitter soon” post, first thing I wonder is if there’ll be a send forth ceremony and how much the aso-ebi is?

You know you’ve overdosed on wedding planning mode when as a guy, you find yourself voluntarily watching, nay DVRing “Four Weddings” on TLC.

Speaking of wedding planning, I was talking to a white coworker (guy) the other day. He too is in wedding planning mode and is pulling hair out. Women often complain about guys not wanting to be involved in the wedding planning and leaving it all to them. My coworker’s problem is that he actually has an opinion. He started out not sending oh, then his fiancé got on him. Now, dude genuinely cares what colour the napkins should be in relation to the tablecloth and other finicky stuff. This is causing wahala, but I must agree with the guy. You can’t start vexing when awon boys now have an opinion when they originally didn’t send. As for me, let’s just say that I’ve been affirmatively nodding like an agama lizard drinking quite a lot of tea lately. That is the solution to world peace in these situations.

Ehen question: Is there a derogatory word for white people in any Nigerian language? Oyibo simply means a white person. It’s descriptive, not derogatory. Funny how we have a derogatory word for American blacks (Akata-which means wild cat), but don’t seem to have one for white people. At least none that I’ve heard sha.

Translate “sha” as used above to English. Please tell me what you come up with because I can’t.              

See ehn, I don’t get people who just balk at trends in an attempt to appear too cool for school. Let us look at the ALS Ice-Bucket challenge trend for instance. Until a couple of weeks ago, many people had no clue what ALS was. Now many people do and money has been raised for ALS research. That’s a good thing. If you don’t want to pour ice water on your body and shake in the frigid cold like a cow’s dick afterwards, that’s fine, but allow people who do.  

“There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing.” Maya Angelou. I like very much. That was me years ago.

The adigunjales (armed robbers) at United are now selling December tickets to Nigeria from the U.S at $2500. Fear God na. See ehn, those who take a wife and two kids to Nigeria during Christmas season are the real heroes. Especially when you realize that for that amount, there are so many other places one could visit.  Unless there’s an event like a wedding or funeral, Thailand dey, Dubai dey, Hong Kong dey, Carribean dey, ati bee bee lo. (etcetera). One will now use all this money to travel to Nigeria to experience NEPA, go-slow and “what did you bring for us?” relatives. Diarris God.

Then again, authentic Suya and roasted groundnut questionably bottled in a used bottle of Schnapps is worth the trip.

A friend shared this link which lists 10 ways to sound smart in a meeting a work. I LOLed because I’ve done quite a few of these https://medium.com/comedy-corner/10-tricks-to-appear-smart-during-meetings-27b489a39d1a

Movie recommendation: The Hundred Foot Journey starring Helen Mirren, Manish Dayal, Om Puri and a remarkable looking Charlotte Le Bon (Loved her accent too).  Saw it over the weekend and loved it. Taynement, expect a review.

Prayer request for the week: That the almighty God in his infinite mercies should smite (yes smite) my new neigbour’s incessantly barking dog, so that I can sleep. Lord hear our prayer.

Taynement here - so, my friend's sign out song was Sia's "Chandelier", as I have posted that before I decided to overrule and post a song choice of mine (It's my blog and I post what I wanna *sticks tongue out*). Thank you for the guest randoms!

There was absolutely no bias in choosing this song -___-