Sunday, December 4, 2016

Life on the White Side

As a black person, when you spend a significant amount of time with white people especially in a social setting, it doesn't take long to see that they live a completely different life than we do and also live life by a completely different set of rules than we do. I'll give you a few examples.

Ex. 1: This first one might just be an american thing or maybe even just an animal lover thing but exchanging notes on dog sitting and talking about paying almost $100 a night for doggy hotels? ewo, my money (and brain) no reach o.

Ex. 2: Girl is having a baby and her in-laws moved closer  as per first grand child and all but explicitly let her know that they aren't here for babysitting duties. If they are in a bind or an emergency of course they will be there but other than that they are done with their child rearing duties and would like to have fun in their old age.

Ex. 3: Girl is dating someone new. The person is one of her ex's best friends but she doesn't care and neither does he. She asks me what I think, I answer with my African brainwash that it's messy and nke wa nke wa. She asks other white girl and she's like I don't see anything wrong with it. You are happy and you are both single. My husband dated my best friend. I swiveled so fast (because as long as I'd known her it was new info to me). I am like your best friend? - yup, was she okay with it? - nope is she still your best friend? - nope. But she didn't care and many years later they are married with a kid and life goes on.

I pondered over these examples and wondered if we as Africans have been so brain washed and have grown up just following rules that we don't even know why, while yt folks are just living their best lives by establishing boundaries and pursuing their happiness full throttle. I am not saying that we don't have rules and cultures that are beneficial to us but we do a lot of things out of duty and stay repressed with resentment. Most Nigerians I know would never go after someone their friend even talked to but for these women it's all game. 

So what do you think? Are we holding ourselves back?


3 comments:

Berry Dakara said...

If a guy so much as looked at my friend and said he liked her, there was no way in heck I would budge if he changed his mind and professed love for me. Nah mehn, I ain't here for that!

I will never understand spending so much money on an animal. Sounds mean, but zoophobia is real.

Berry Dakara Blog

yujubee said...

Number 3.very white thing, even though I've had something like that happen amongst my friends, was a huge issue then. But said girl is married to the guy now 12years. But it was a huge issue and I was the only person who supported her and didnt See a problem with it, long story. Said guy was chasing girl and saw my friend and changed mind. Na there problem start.(other girl was friend of a friend visiting)

Number 2. I am a strong believer parents are not obliged to help you ,unless they can and want to. Maybe cos I'm a mom now and have no life and can't wait for kids to be grown to have one. I had a friend complain about her mother in law not coming ( she's orphaned). Had to tell her , this said woman suffered for her kids to have a good life ( all doing well now) . Now the woman wants to travel and enjoy life , you want to dictate to her and if you can afford help , why not? Anyway, ibo say onye muo ya zuma. ( person when get child should raise child)

neuyogi said...

I thought i was a dog lover until i met my white coworkers. Special feeds, dogs with anxiety, depression, rheumatoid arthritis, dog sitter costs, dog emergency room/vet bills, dog custody post divorce, and of course never ending dog pics and paraphernalia.