An Article & A Conversation

I don't read the SBM blog often but the other day my friend sent me this article. If you don't have the time to read it, the summary is basically a woman who got played. Met a dude, kept giving excuses whenever they had to go out, eventually went out, gave some bullshit excuse as to why he was still living with his baby momma and their kid, they had sex blah blah turns out it was all a ruse, he was in a relationship with his baby momma. It was confirmed, when he accidentally sent her a text saying "have to work late. kiss the baby for me. I love you" (You're better off just reading it).

Anyways, after I had read it, my friend goes "That guy was a bastard for what he did". I started thinking about the article and yea he was a bastard for what he did, but I have always had this notion that yea, men do what they do but usually they get away with stuff that we as women let them get away with. The article was an extreme but it's something most women have experienced. I really believe 99% of the time, we know when something is wrong/off/not right but for reasons unexplained we still hang in there while creating any and every excuse that vindicates him and makes you feel better or tides you over for the day.

There are many reasons for why this happens but meh, to me it's all part of the cycle of life. Everyone gets stupid at some point in their life, sometimes we learn from it, sometimes we don't. Life goes on. But we did continue our conversation on self esteem in women, to which the yeye boy exclaimed that low self esteem women were the best and easiest to mess with. The more emotionally fucked up they are the better (smh). He also said though that in actuality every woman is easy to fuck with because all we have to do is like a guy and once we do that we unconsciously give too much power to the guy. I had to completely agree with him. Like I said above, while I believe that we let guys get away with stuff, I also wondered what it's like to be a man and have that desire to eat their cake and have it even if it's at the expense of another person's emotions? Answers I'll never know.

Anyhue, the convo took a turn to my friend dogging the female sex and I didn't even bother trying to explain what it's like on this side as a female. It's a man's man's world and like I said in a previous post, Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. No matter how much we try, we are never going to get each other.

Have a fantastic week guys! :)


NaijaScorpio said…
You are right when you say we know when something is off but some guys just specialize in lying and come up with every plausible excuse in the book and in the name of giving him the benefit of doubt, you stay until it becomes crystal clear he is lying or you catch him in a lie which ever comes first. Na God they save person.
LadyNgo said…
I read that post...and sad to say the story is not that extreme. Isht like that happens every flippin day...multiple times. I honestly think that the world (women included) has been feeding girls so much bull$#it about there not being enough men, and its in mens nature to do this and that and yaddi yaddi yah that we tend to hang on to any halfway decent seeming man that comes around. I always say, the day women get their ish together will be the day men get their ish together. Still wondering when that day will come...
TayneMent said…
the day women get their ish together will be the day men get their ish together

haha, i like that
Sugabelly said…

What you are doing is putting the responsibility for the behaviour of men on women.

Each man is an ADULT.

If he is responsible when he knowingly kills someone, if he is responsible when he knowingly takes drugs, if he is responsible when he drinks and drives then he MUST be held responsible when he is knowingly dishonest in a relationship ( which by the way is FRAUD ).

There is nothing like men do what they want because women allow them to.

It has NOTHING to do with us.

Before a person makes a single action, 90% of the time they already know if it is right or wrong beforehand. It is not as if what the man did was neutral and it was then the women that permitted it to be wrong.

The man already knew what he was doing was wrong and then proceeded to continue in his action. Therefore as an adult he made a conscious decision to do an evil deed.

All over the world women are encouraged to take responsibility for the actions of men so that men can do as they please without the burden of conscience.

This is obviously rubbish as men are completely happy placing the blame for women's actions squarely on the shoulders of women.

If men are dishonest and unfaithful it doesn't say a damn thing about women.

All it says is that men really need to sit down and ask THEMSELVES, "what the fuck is wrong with us?"
LohiO said…
I read that as well and I just shook my head at how easy it is for women to make excuses for men. I always pray I never am in that situation where I start making excuses when I know it is completely wrong.

And your friend is not fair for saying low esteem babes are easier to mess with. So you prey on someone's weakness. how rudeeeeeeeee!!!
Original mgbeke said…
LOOL @ Lohi's "How rudeeee".

Just read the article. Sad stuff. In her case, she admitted that there were warning signs that she ignored because she was lost in.
However, I feel like sometimes women are totally blindsided and don't realize anything is happening + some men will do what they want to do regardless.

True @ your friends yarns. Once a woman is in like, e don be!
mizchif said…
I did read that post and found it rather interesting because i feel it could happen to any female.
Just given how she described him and the way he approached her and they were "together" for a year..... I can totally see how she could've been fooled.

But me sha, just being myself, kids are a deal breaker, i'm sorry. A child is an irrevocable binder between the 2 people that had said child.

And yea sometimes we do know when something is not right, but sometimes one might want to believe that if one ignores it long enough and keep hoping for the best whatever it is will work itself out no?
Not (very) wise, but yea.
mizchif said…
But forget sha when a man wants to lie here ehn, that is it kwa. Some people are just great liars and actors,one prays never to encounter such people (again)

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