And here's today's:
My birthday was fast approaching and I’m normally a birthday celebration, super excited type of person, but this year, it was just about to be another day. I wasn’t in the mood for anything at all. My cousin came to visit and I was hoping that would help make me happier but, she was just as broke as me which made it worse cos I had to provide for both she and me with barely nothing. I picked up a horrible habit of smoking cigarettes (still struggling to quit) which was just unlike me. I used to HATE it when people smoked around me…at bars, restaurants, clubs, etc. Whenever I would come to Naij to visit, it always seemed like the “in” thing to do and I lowkey would judge all of those people. Now look at me. Funny enough, I used to joke sometimes when I was stressed that “I’m so stressed, I need a cigarette”, then one day Nicole was over and I jokingly said it and she gave me one. I smoked it and it actually wasn’t so bad. From one cigarette every maybe 3 or 4 days, to one a day, to 5 or 6 a day, to…well y’all know the rest. I literally would be in my room smoking, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what the heck was happening to me. I couldn’t stop though. I’d finish a pack and say I won’t buy anymore, but next thing I know, I’m sending my gateman to go buy me a pack. *shrugs*
We were supposed to hang out with Nicole one evening but I wasn’t in the mood and cancelled. She was calling because one of her friends (a guy) had a friend that wanted to meet me and wasn’t taking no for an answer. I agreed and said we couldn’t stay long cos I wanted to go to bed. Plus my cousin was still around and I didn’t want to “be a bad influence”. She came to pick me up shortly after and we headed over to her friend’s office. We get to the office and meet the two guys. She does a quick introduction, we’re sitting in the conference room all just talking then she and her friend leave us alone. We chat a bit then they come back and the two guys go talk. Shortly after they come back and the one for me, let’s call him Mr. O comes and says he has to leave but I should walk him out. We walk out and talk some more, he tells me what he does and we exchange numbers and agree to meet up soon. He was actually pretty cool. He’s not old like that, mid 40s and has swag for days. Like he’s so smart and easy to talk to. I didn’t feel as bad. Once I got home, my cousin was still awake so we were gisting and she starts telling me about her “maga days”. I was so shocked cos she’s my 23 year old cousin. She was actually giving me advice and was like be careful but do what you gotta do.
I can’t remember when I called Mr. O next, but whenever I did, he said to come meet for dinner. I’m thinking a restaurant, but he gave me his apartment address. Can I just say how nice the apartment was first. I mean, that alone would make you know he had serious money. Those apartments go for about N9million (yes, I researched it). I go over there and he has a friend over, we all just sit and watch tv then he tells me I can order food if I’m hungry which I did. His friend leaves and we’re chilling then he says he needs to go to the barber shop. He’s like lets go together then come back, drink and smoke. I’m like ok I guess.
We go straight back to his apartment after the barbershop. He has a fully stocked bar with ciroc, moet, Hennessey, etc so he said I should pick my poison. I was actually supposed to meet up with some friends to go clubbing that night. Wasn’t planning on being with Mr. O for that long, but apparently he was. I mentioned my plans and he was very firmly like no, you’re not going. Alrighty then. I don’t know why I decided to just stay without an excuse, but oh well. So I get comfortable on the couch with my drink and tell myself to just keep drinking so it’ll make whatever was about to go down, be easier. Being around him wasn’t so bad I guess cos he was so cool. He asks if I want to smoke cos he was about to. I’m like sure why not, that’ll help with the “feeling”. We smoke and drink and talk and when we’re both clearly pretty high, we watch a movie and “cuddle”.
Mr. O is actually a pro in the game, I’ll give him that. I don’t know if I’d be right blaming it on the alcohol, but all that went on that night (which was a lot), I must say was not bad at all. Bright and early the next day, I was up and ready to go. He gave me 50k to use to have my birthday dinner (I had mentioned to him that I was planning one, which I chopped the money and didn’t do anything for my bday). When I got home, I didn’t feel bad at all (or at least not as bad as the other time) and I was wondering if that was a good thing or not. I mean was I an official “runz babe” now? I thought about the person I was becoming many nights before I went to sleep. I felt bad praying or even being at church sometimes cos I felt so guilty. I’d said I’d stop soon, but not just yet.