Thursday, September 24, 2015

Friday [Guest] Randoms

Gosh this week has been a long week and I am so ready for Friday especially since I am doing absolutely nada this weekend. Except going to the dentist. I told a friend that I'd rather go to the dentist than the doctor and she thought that was weird. I have no anxiety going to dentists. Or maybe I got spoiled by my fabulous dentist in Dallas. Anyways as the title suggests, today's randoms are a guest random by my friend Swanboy. Every now and then, when I don't post randoms, he will hit me up to let me know that randoms aren't up and as is my reflex answer whenever I am hit up about randoms I let him know that he is welcome to guest random - and this applies to all of you. Anyone who would like to guest random, please feel free o. Hit me up and we will make it happen. So anyways, here are his randoms:

I got to observe three female friends of mine who are heavily pregnant. Ladies, standing ovation to you. One of my male friends who is married to one of them said he’d rather be childless than go through what women go through to give birth. No seriously, mo gbedi fun yin! I salute you.

Apparently, “man buns” are now in. Here it is for those who don’t know what I mean.  . I saw a male coworker wear one some months ago. I honestly thought dude decided to become a Samurai. Had no idea it was fashion.

I have seen too many good things happen to bad people and vice-versa to believe in Karma. Sometimes life just happens, we get dealt the cards we are dealt. All we can do is pray God gives us the ability to deal.

In that same vein, I really get mad when people say “it’s part of God’s plan” when bad or tragic stuff happens. I’m a believing Christian, but I will never understand how  people, especially good people, going through pain and loss, is an avenue to attain some godly master plan. The Jewish character Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof said “God, I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while, could you please choose someone else?”

Oil prices are the lowest they’ve been in recent history. Gas is less than $2 a gallon in some places. Why are airlines still charging an arm, a leg and the soul of your firstborn for flights biko?

Oh and if anyone is traveling to Nigeria for the holidays, please bring me back a bottle of groundnuts. I would be eternally in your debt.  

When did doctors in US hospitals stop wearing their white coats? You go to a hospital now and can’t identify who a doctor is. Everyone is in scrubs. Even the janitor is in scrubs.

Children of God, remove anyone or anything that stands in the way of peace from your life. Life is too short to let anyone, no matter how related come between you and peace of mind. This is a lesson many Nigerians need to learn. Oyibo people have mostly perfected the ability to excise peace-stealers from their lives. The first time I heard an American man say that he has not spoken to his mother in almost 20 years, I was shocked. Now I get.

It’s amazing how much information you can get at work by simply sitting quietly in a locked toilet stall in the men’s restroom.

When you think of a good, witty comeback to something someone said, weeks after they said it. Sigh…

It is 2015 and there are some Nigerian men who still think that women are not naturally as horny, or as sexually promiscuous as men. SMH. Heard someone say that the ONLY reason a woman would cheat is if her husband or S.O. isn’t “handling business at home”. Sigh... E go do am like feem.

For Nigerians who move to America, marry, have kids and live here, are the kids Nigerian-American or African-American? At what stage do Americans of Nigerian heritage become African-Americans?

Speaking of which, Nigerians that understandably come here to born pikin for the sake of American kpali, then go back. Just pray a Republican doesn’t get elected President. Otherwise izzalova Jackie, don cry, don beg.

You call customer service. The automated system asks for your information. You give it. Repeatedly.  You later get transferred to a live person who proceeds to ask you for the same information you spent the last 5 minutes of your lifespan giving to the automated system. This is why some people out of frustration join ISIS.

Saw this quote, I liked it. "Give someone strength when they have none, and maybe one day they will give it back to you when you are weak" 

That's about it folks, have a wonderful weekend.


Berry Dakara said...

Dentist over doctor??? How?!?!?!?!

Nice randoms Mr Swanboy.

yujubee said...

I hate the dentist.!
Forever nigerian -American or American -nigeria . They are not here to represent the whole of Africa pls, which kind African-American.

neuyogi said...

Swanboy good job, enjoyed your randoms.
-Wonder how the man-bun looks on black men.
-re hospitals: its either everyone is in scrubs or everyone wears a white coat; nurses, social workers, practice administrators, PAs, therapists all wear white coats too