Sunday, March 29, 2009

Forgiveness

So, I am so lazy.I have numerous blog posts written out in my head, unfortunately blogsville is blocked at work so I can't immediately pour it out, so I end up never putting these entries to web. Anyways, forgiveness had just been in my head and all around me(right down to a scene between Miranda and Carrie when I was watching Sex and The CIty again), I finally talked about it with BFF in one of our numerous gabfests and she ecouraged me to write this, so I'm like well I guess I will.

I have to apologise ahead of time that this may not come out as strongly as I would like because I have a hard time getting really personal. I am not so anonymous on blogsville so I need to kinda mask the scenarios but ultimately I hope I am able to get my point across.:)

Anywhoo, couple weeks ago, BFF asked me: "If you could pass 3 important concepts to your kids, what would they be?". AT the time, maybe I was in a mood or something but I was just like "I don't know, who thinks that far?" and brushed it off, but it still came to mind every now and then. Not too long ago, I just let go of the hurt I felt by a friend after like a year and half or so and boy did it feel good. I was reminded because I found myself in that position again (I don't know how I end up in these positions and more times than none, the other party always feels they did nothing wrong or if they do, I don't know sha)and I had to give myself a talking to and try to follow that saying, "Let go, Let flow".

Thing is, I have never been able to hold a grudge. When it comes to friends and loved ones I don't have a desire to prove a point or nothing, I am willing to say I am sorry if I was in the wrong. When I was younger, I thought maybe it was just part of my mumu-ness(another story, another day). But as I get older, I have realised that it's something I have been consistent with in my life for the most part and it has come in really handy. See a family member didn't do right by my mom and I. My mom held on to that shit for yeaaaaaaars and you could see it. I still remember when she told me that she had really forgiven the family member, I didn't get it then but looking back the transformation in my mom was obvious. She used the word "freeing", but not until 2 years ago did I know what she meant because it wasn't till then that I can say I forgave the family member ad I truly understand what she meant by "freeing". Forgiveness is defined as giving up resentment. You'd be surprised how powerful resentment can be and how it would eat up your life when oft times the other person ain't even thinking about you. Besides, carrying a chip on your shoulder ain't cute :D

Anyways, the best example I can give to show forgiveness (for fellow christians) is the one of our loving Father above. Sometimes, I sit down and marvel at how, we sinful sinners down here just dey gbadun anyhow and take for granted that we are not stricken dead immediately after that kpanshing session or gossiping about Iya Basira down the street. The sacrifice that Jesus made for us is so great that we can always seek him out and ask for his forgiveness and he grants us this grace. Honestly, if that is being done for us, who the hell are we not to do it for our fellow man?? I don't know about you but I thank Baba God for that grace sha.

I am not saying that some events in our lives are to be vaporized and you should just forget about it or for example a dude chris browns ya ass,you should now say you forgive him and stay with him. Uh Uhn, make you forgive with sense. Forgiveness to me is just making your peace with it as best you can and moving on, instead of killing yourself slowly and be burning for revenge. Funny enough at church today, this bible passage was read from Jeremiah 31:34 : I will forgive their sins and I will no longer remember their wrongs, I the Lord has spoken.

LOL, I am sorry this is lengthy, think of it as my sunday lesson. I hope we all are able to navigate our way through this maze of life, because I know I am trying to make it one day at a time. What are y'all's thoughts on this and what are your top 3 values/concepts that you would like to pass down to your kids?
Have a lovely week ahead people!

Oh in honor of bringing good music to the masses, enjoy this one by the forgotten destiny child, Michelle Williams

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7 comments:

MPB said...

I am glad you wrote this. For me, it's a constant battle to forgive myself. Meanwhile, my values are:
- education
- treat others how u want to be treated
- integrity

MPB said...

BTW, I was: FIRST!!!!!!!!!! Sorry temite and bumite and all the other "ites" :)

Fashinga said...

Hey!!! just stopping by to show sum luv...i'll be back to read..

And yes...i'm 2nd!!!!!!!!!!

Later Luv!!!
F.

Overflow said...

Mehn this forgiveness thing can be tricky business [had to think about it a bit]. There are times i think i've forgiven and then something comes up with regards to the person and a feel a little something--does that mean i haven't forgiven?

Do i need to be able to relate to the person per usual if i have indeed forgiven? That confuses me.

Anyways i find that the main person i need to forgive is myself. Easy as that sounds it the hardest thing for me to do.

TayneMent said...

Personally, I don't think you have to relate to the person to forgive, that's why my definition was making peace as best you can and letting go.

I need to think about the self forgiveness thing more, I don't know if I have had a hard time forgiving myself, hmmm.

Original Mgbeke said...

Great post. Forgiving others is indeed free-ing, like you I have never really been able to hold a grudge. May we all continue to forgive like Jesus continues to forgive us...amin!

Kate said...

You didnt mention the three concepts you'd want to pass on to your kids...I admit, i'm really bad at forgiving..or maybe it's forgetting...probably both sha..oh well, i can do all things!